NPR Typewriter Sentences Competition

Results of the NPR Challenge of 12/22 and 12/29/02
Compiled by Will Shortz

The object was to write the most interesting sentence using only your left hand or your right hand positioned normally on a typewriter or computer keyboard. For purposes of the competition, the shift key and punctuation were to be ignored. Entries were judged on their sense, naturalness of syntax, and overall elegance.

As great a QB as Bart Starr was, Brett Favre rates better. -- Steve Daubenspeck

Runners-Up (Left Hand)
A tart beef stew tastes sweet after a few grated raw red beets are added -- Una Creditor

After we were served dessert at a terrace cafe, we craved a few draft beers at a west Texas bar. -- Marty Normile

Qatar Arabs fear a West-created savage desert war. -- Ben Hochman

Estate taxes are assessed after we are dead. -- David Lieb

Brewers beat Cards, Cabrera gets a save. -- Louis Sargent

A gazetteer abstract regards Arab state Qatar as a warfare-free tax retreat. -- Keith Clay

We erased a database after a vast defect was detected. -- Hugh Hazelrigg

We've aged, dear; we're extra baggage, deadbeat gasbags, desexed retreads, et cetera. -- Richard Miller

Runners-Up (Right Hand)
In July I'll look plumply hip in my yummy pumpkin monokini. -- Paula Gamache

In my opinion, John 'n' Yoko Ono look kinky in my pink kimono. -- Joe LoBiondo

You imply I'll look kooky in only my pink kimono, you killjoy, you. -- Doak Bloss

In my opinion, I'll mop him up in Monopoly. -- Mike Parcheta

You imply I'm plump; Philip, in my opinion you look puny. -- Roberta Miller

Honorable Mention
[left] Casca stabbed Caesar as Caesar sweated. -- Cathy Sweeney

[left] We agreed we'd vacate Qatar after we saw a few crazed axe bearers create a scare. -- Ron Streicher

[left] Faster stewardesses get better wages. -- Ray Colucci

[left] After a savage bear created a scare, we scattered as fast as bees. -- Anne Sumnicht

[right] You jump on my mink, I'll kill you! -- David Chasman

[right] No joy: In July, you'll plop limply on yon piny knoll. -- Harold J. Ellner

[left] We feared defeat as we gazed westward at a great desert. -- Seth Brown

[left] Fat stewardesses are rated extra best as beverage servers. -- Phil and Fran Jacknis

[left] After we stargazers saw a great star, we traversed deserts westward as award bearers at a revered babe's address. -- Jerry Stahly

[left] Reverse gear gets cars started rearward. -- Sioux McLane

[left] Qatar Arabs gaze as carefree Swedes waste water at a desert bazaar. -- Veronica and Don Ray

[left] A better car was a great asset as few babes ever waved at a greaser's dragster. -- Bill Kretschmer

[right] In my opinion, no kimono in Nippon'll look jolly on Yoko Ono. -- Louise Sebra

[left] Fast Texas cats eat fat wet sewer rats as dessert. -- Harold Johnson

[right] Jumpin' Jiminy, I'll hop in my pool in Honolulu, I'll loll on my piny knoll in Philly, I'll pull on my lil' kimono in Nippon. -- Howard M. Green

[left] We detest taxes assessed at exaggerated rates. -- Pat Acquaviva

[left] Actresses rate better at darts, stewardesses at cards. -- Clint Seiter

[left] After Greece defeated Xerxes, Artaxerxes was czar. -- Jeremy Coers

[left] As we tasted sassafras tea at a terrace cafe at water's edge, a western breeze caressed Teresa's face. -- Kristin Sallee

[right] Mop up plump puppy poop. -- Lorraine Savage

[right] In Ohio I pull on my phony mink only in July. -- Ronald L. Malzer

[left] At TWA we awarded great stewardesses free fares. -- Fred Ketteman

[left] Crawdads vacated Texas as water grew scarce. -- Diana Osborn

[left] Vast areas devastated after decades at war deserved a better fate. -- Ruth Hetland

[left] After we ate a severed bat's ear, we barfed. -- Paul Kaplan

[right] Pony up, you phony pin-up nymph! -- Jim Denton

[left] Edgar's exaggerated gaze at a dreaded rare bearded zebra was regarded as brave. -- Tracy Sherwood