Real moms and TV moms: The Golden Girls
was always good for a mom moment -- but would your real mom let you go out of the house dressed like Cher?
For some reason, people really idealize TV moms. "June Cleaver" this and "Clair Huxtable" that, like we'd all be so lucky if we just had the moms people have on TV.
This attitude gravely underestimates the dark side of the TV mom. So in honor of Mother's Day, let's look at ten of the many reasons your real mom is better than a TV mom.
1. Your real mom would never encourage you to grotesquely humiliate yourself in a recording studio.
Look at this. Seriously. Look at it. Carol Brady has absolutely no compunction about standing there, bopping her blonde head, as her children commit to tape a song that will live in infamy, while wearing clothes suitable for some kind of documentary about The Unclaimed Clothing Of The Seventh Circle Of The Thrift Store.
Who bought Peter that shirt? His mom, in all likelihood. His spiteful, unfeeling mom. And what is Cindy? An eight-year-old go-go dancer? Nice boots, "Mom." (For a real-life counterargument, see Thanks, Mom at NPR's Picture Show photoblog.)
This is not to even mention how many times you would have to kill me before I would sing the line "Every boy's a man inside / a girl's a woman, too" in front of my mother. My mother and I keep that sort of thing to ourselves.
Letting the handyman hang out, forgetting about you entirely, and other things your real mom would probably never do, after the jump...
2. Your real mom would never remove your fianceé's eyebrows.