Running Out of Miracles : My Cancer This was a bad day.
NPR logo Running Out of Miracles

Running Out of Miracles

This was a bad day.

We started out to treat the pleurisy, the fluid in my lungs. First off, for any med students reading this, the two shots to numb the lung areas were probably the most painful things I have ever felt. Just thought you should know that.

But once the doctors got in there, they discovered that the fluid was not one big pool like it looked on the scan. Instead, it was divided up into lots of little pockets that they really couldn't do anything about. We also realized that the tightness and pain I'm having is coming from both sides of my chest. The fluid showed up only on the right side in the scan. So, clearly, we're missing something.

Then we had a long talk with my oncologist and my nurse. That was the hardest part of the day. As they see it, there's just too much stuff piling up. I'm losing weight pretty quickly. That's not a good sign. I have a lot of pain and we can't figure out what's causing it or how to blunt it.

All along, we had figured there was a way out. New procedures, new ways to attack it. But we may be running out of those. The box of miracles may be emptying out.

We're not giving up, but it's getting harder to stay optimistic on a day like this.

Like I said, this was a tough one.