Sandwich Monday: Poppin' Pebbles, A Fruity Pebbles Spinoff
You say product description; I say warning label. NPR hide caption
You say product description; I say warning label.
NPRFor years, makers of kids' cereals have been upping the ante to get kids interested: hiding a toy surprise inside, adding multicolored marshmallows, setting bear traps in the cereal aisle. Now Post, maker of the classic Flintstones-themed Fruity Pebbles, has created "Poppin' Pebbles," an explosive Pop Rocks-cereal mashup.
Miles: This is the only cereal on the market that fizzes and foams in your mouth. Well, this and Cinnamon Rabies Crunch.
Ian: The Flintstones weren't entirely unhealthy people. When you think about it, their car was basically like an early treadmill desk.
This is food. NPR hide caption
This is food.
NPRRobert: I fed these to my kids for breakfast just the other day. I'll find out how they liked them as soon as I regain custody.
Miles: I never thought they would create a cereal less healthful for you than Amyl Nitrate Popper Pebbles, but they've proved me wrong again.
Ian: These Poppin' Pebbles are great, but I like the ones with tetanus better — the Poppin' and Lockin' Pebbles.
Eva: Frugal cave parents buy the generic kind: "Multicolored Flakes That Go Boom In Your Mouth When You Eat Them."
Ian is suspicious of any weaponized cereal. NPR hide caption
Ian is suspicious of any weaponized cereal.
NPRMiles: I'm confused. Are these just dried pieces of Fred and Wilma's daughter?
Eva: No wonder cavemen only lived to age 35.
Ian: One of the leading theories for why the dinosaurs went extinct is actually Pop Rocks & Coke.
Bamm-Bamm, all grown up, became Robert-Robert. NPR hide caption
Bamm-Bamm, all grown up, became Robert-Robert.
NPRRobert: Maybe I ate these too fast, but is my stomach supposed to be the size of the Hindenburg now?
Ian: You understand why they needed exciting cereals when all prehistoric kids had to watch was Saturday Morning Cave Paintings.
Eva: Yeah, strict cave moms only bought these on special occasions. Like to celebrate not getting eaten by a tiger.
Miles: The only way this could be part of a complete breakfast is if the rest of the meal is a note telling you not to eat them.
Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm get weird. NPR hide caption
Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm get weird.
NPREva: I bet prehistoric dentists hate this stuff.
Miles: Yabba-dabba-don't.
Eva attempts to detect the fizz effect. NPR hide caption
Eva attempts to detect the fizz effect.
NPR[The verdict: a great (horrible) idea, but not well-executed. Actual fizzing and sizzling moments were rare. To get that real Pop Rocks feeling, you had to pick out the few green, fizzy pieces and eat them on their own.]
Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!