The inaugural Boerne (pronounced like Bernie) race is "500-ish" yards, or .3 miles.
The "um, 'race,'" as its organizers call it, begins and ends with a free pint of beer. And at the halfway point, if you've burned through your carbs (.15 miles in), a doughnut and coffee hydration station is available for a carbo reload — right next to the costume contest and smoking area.
The entry fee was $25 before tickets sold out. All proceeds will go to Blessings in a Backpack, a charity organization that tackles food insecurity by supplying weekend meals for elementary school students who might otherwise go hungry.
The uber-underachieving VIP, however, could pay an extra $25 to be shuttled across the finish line in a restored 1963 VW bus. VIPs also get an even bigger medal, organizers say "because you are even more important!"
The race is scheduled for May 5. Other perks of signing up include a "pretentious" 0.5k sticker, and a medical tent that may or may not be manned. ("546 yards is nothing to take too lightly.")