Like the Devil, today's sandwich goes by many names: the Philly Taco, South Street Sushi, the Lorenzo's-Jim's Challenge. Whatever you call it, you have to agree it's a great idea. A Philly Taco just like a regular taco, except instead of the usual fillings, there's a cheesesteak, and instead of a shell, you use a giant slice of pizza. After our show in Philadelphia, I was joined by some friends to take it on.
Lorenzo's and Jim's: two great tastes that taste great and cause you great abdominal distress together.
First, you go to Lorenzo's Pizza, and buy a slice of pizza. Then, you rush to Jim's Steaks, a block away. It's important to be fast, so the pizza is still hot when you add the cheesesteak. Also, the exercise of a brisk one-block walk helps work off 1/28th the calories of the first bite you take.
Once you have the raw ingredients, there are two schools of thought on how best to execute this terrible idea. I assembled mine so that the cheesesteak was perpendicular to the crust of the pizza, like a taco. Lily did hers sushi-style, with the pizza wrapped around the steak like a pig-in-a-blanket.
Lily: This is Halloween-appropriate: the cheesesteak is wearing a slice-of-pizza costume.
Ian cannot open his mouth big enough for the Philly Taco and keep his eyes open at the same time.
Ian: I feel like I'm doing that thing where you're reading a comic book but you cover it in the jacket of your math book.
Leo: Except way worse.
Ian: Healthwise, can I expect the pizza to protect my stomach from the cheesesteak?
Nora: Yeah, it's like a gelcap.
Lily: That would be true if you swallowed it whole, like a snake.
Ian: I don't think a snake would eat something this gross. They're cool with live rats though.
Leo: Cheesesteak plus pizza would be a great option if this were my last meal, so I wouldn't have to decide.
Joel: I think even if you didn't plan on it being your last meal, it's your last meal.
Mr.T pities us fools.
Ann Marie [after finishing the challenge]: This is great! I'm not hurting.
Ian: You need to take that statement and wrap a slice of "yet" around it.
[Featured gastronauts: Lily Hawkins, Joel Rose, Leo Voloshin, Fresh Air's Ann Marie Baldonado, and Nora Gully.]