Limericks Carl reads three news-related limericks, on: The latest abomination from KFC; the next big thing in manscaping; and science once again proves something we already knew.
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Limericks

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Limericks

Limericks

Limericks

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Carl reads three news-related limericks, on: The latest abomination from KFC; the next big thing in manscaping; and science once again proves something we already knew.

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Coming up, it's "Lightning Fill in the Blank."

But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait Wait. That's 1-888-924- 8924. You can click the contact us link on our website, which is waitwait.npr.org. And if once a week is not enough, WAIT WAIT for you, follow us on Twitter, WAIT WAIT, or check out our blog, featuring video of Carl Kasell throwing out the first pitch at the Cardinals game this week. It's all there at waitwait.npr.org.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

M: Hi, this is Tara Wolf from Williamsburg, Virginia.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things in beautiful Williamsburg?

M: It is beautiful and historical.

SAGAL: It is that...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Williamsburg. Do you have to dress up as a Colonial person and walk around and churn butter and die of dysentery and all those other historically accurate things?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: I don't, but I get to see a lot of those people in the grocery stores and different places like that. So it's pretty cool.

SAGAL: Yeah. Right.

M: Look, it's the House of Burgesses buying a six-pack.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. Now your job, of course, is to play the listener limerick challenge. Carl is going to read you three news-related limericks, with the last word or phrase missing from each. Your job, fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks. Do that, you'll be a winner. Here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, Host:

Too much meat and fat makes my blood thicken. This fake sandwich makes most eaters sicken. It won't go in my head. Just where is the bread? Cheese, sauce, bacon twixt two slabs of?

SAGAL: Rhymes with thicken.

M: Rhymes with thicken.

SAGAL: And is not bread.

M: It is not bread.

SAGAL: I think the problem is you know what it is, you just can't believe that this is the right answer.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: I don't know. I have no idea.

SAGAL: Yes, it's chicken.

M: Chicken?

SAGAL: Two slabs of chicken. This week KFC, Kentucky Fried Chicken, launched a bacon sandwich that replaced the bread with two pieces of chicken. It's called the Double Down.

M: Ooh.

SAGAL: Double for the chicken breasts, two of them, and down for the effect it has on your chances of surviving lunch.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: Peter, you know what I like to have when I'm having me a Double Down?

SAGAL: What do you like to have?

M: An ice-cold bottle of gravy soda.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So do I. By the way, the staff at WAIT WAIT got a chance to sample the Double Down, and you can check out our review of the sandwich on our blog at waitwait.npr.

M: Is there video of people...

SAGAL: Yeah...

M: ...reacting to it?

SAGAL: They're photographs.

M: Oh, lord.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: At the Man Expo, we are like yaks. We've got hair on our chests and our backs. But ladies, don't scoff, we still tear some hair off as our eyebrows and nostrils we?

M: Wax.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: If attendees at the Man Expo in Salt Lake City are to be believed, nostril waxing is the next big thing for guys.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Eighteen-year-old Paul Garfield said, quote, I can breathe better. While Adam Johnson, 36, claimed his nose felt, quote, beautiful and slender. It feels five pounds lighter - unquote.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Which means he can finally sell his weed whacker.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: Can't you get roughly the same effect by doing cocaine heavily for like, 30 years?

SAGAL: That will also help.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, very good, Tara, you've gotten one right with one to go. Get this one right, you'll win. Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: Who's that lady with whom you just dined? She looks blurry and not quite defined. The metaphor's true, you have messed with my view. All this jealousy's making me?

M: Blind.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: It turns out there is some truth to the classic - you know, the phrase blinded by jealously. According to researchers at the American Psychological Association, jealously can affect a woman's ability to see. This is how they found out. They asked heterosexual couples to divide up and study a separate set of images next to each other. The men were told to rate the attractiveness of photographs of other women. Their wives and/or girlfriends looked for objects in pictures of landscapes. The women, though, sitting there, were so distracted by the responses of the men next to them, looking at their pictures, that the women were unable to identify objects in their own images. So they tried a reverse experiment to see if it worked the other way, but it didn't work. The men just kept trying to hit on the landscape pictures.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: Is this yet another one of those idiotic studies?

SAGAL: Yes, it is, Roxanne.

M: Dozens of top scientists at the University of Nothing To Do?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Tara do on our quiz?

KASELL: Tara had two correct answers, Peter, and that's enough to win. Tara, I'll be doing the message on your home answering machine.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

M: Great.

SAGAL: Really well done. Congratulations, Tara.

M: Thanks so much.

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