Lightning Fill In The Blank All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.
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Lightning Fill In The Blank

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Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

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All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Now on to our final game, "Lightning Fill in the Blank." Each of our players now has 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores.

CARL KASELL, Host:

Keegan-Michael Key has the lead, Peter, with four correct answers and four points. Amy Dickinson has two points, and Roy Blount Jr. has two points.

SAGAL: All right, let's flip a coin...

M: Let's get him, Roy.

M: Yeah.

M: All right, let's see if I can screw this up.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We have flipped a coin. Amy has elected to go second. So Roy, you're up first. Please fill in the blank.

M: All right.

SAGAL: Engineers struggled to cap the undersea well spilling oil off the coast of blank?

M: Coast of Louisiana.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an effort to reshape the central bank, President Obama nominated two economists and a lawyer to the blank board on Thursday.

M: Federal Reserve Board.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a week of speculation, Florida governor blank announced he would run for the Senate as an independent.

BLOUNT: Charlie Crist.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in California were not that surprised that they were forced to arrest a man named blank for being drunk in public.

M: His first initials were I.M., and his last name was Drunk.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: His name was Jim Beam, was his name.

M: Oh.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: One of the men convicted of the 1965 assassination of blank was released from prison on Tuesday.

M: Malcolm X.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in California raided the home of Gismoto editor Jason Chan as part of their investigation into the lost blank prototype.

M: IPhone.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A blind Australian man was refused entry into a restaurant...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...when the proprietors misunderstood and thought his guide dog was blank.

M: Was the - what he was bringing to have cooked for him?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, it was his entree, no. They thought his guide dog was a gay dog.

M: What?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Before entering the restaurant, Ian Jolly asked if he could bring in his guide dog, Nudge. His guide dog.

M: Oh, his guide dog.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Because of his thick Australian accent, the owners thought he said gay dog.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Jolly filed a complaint. And the judge awarded him $1,400. When Jolly responded to the thing, oh good day, mate. The judge thought he called him a gay dog mate and took the money back.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: As to what a gay dog is and why the restaurant...

M: Or why it's a problem.

SAGAL: ...would not want one, we don't know.

M: I have never known a dog that would not hump anybody's leg. So...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

M: Right.

M: I mean...

M: It's pretty true.

SAGAL: Honestly.

M: All dogs are bi.

M: Not that there's anything wrong with that.

SAGAL: No, apparently unless you are in a Thai restaurant in Australia.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Roy do on our quiz?

KASELL: Roy had five correct answers, for 10 more points. He now has 12 points, and Roy has the lead.

SAGAL: Well done.

M: All right.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, Amy, you're up next. Fill in the blank. After a three-day standoff, the Senate finally agreed to debate on the blank bill.

M: The financial regulation.

SAGAL: Yeah, financial regulatory reform.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After his brother was killed in a plane crash, the twin of the president of blank indicated he might run for the position.

M: Poland.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Civil rights activist Dorothy Height was eulogized at the National Cathedral by blank on Thursday.

M: President Obama.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An article in the Philadelphia Daily News about an attack on two men wearing Nazi uniforms began with the line blank.

M: Nazi uniforms, Nazi in this town?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. Listen, how did they Nazi this coming?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: Oh.

M: Oh, wow.

M: Wow.

SAGAL: Although he's recovering from a brain hemorrhage, the manager of reality TV and rock star blank said the star could resume touring as soon as next month.

M: Poison?

SAGAL: Close enough - well, Bret Michaels of Poison. You knew that, good enough.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week marks the 30th anniversary of that popular office supply, the blank.

M: The Post-It.

SAGAL: The Post-It, yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

M: Right.

M: Oh.

SAGAL: Authorities in California are investigating a voter fraud case...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...in which people were fooled into registering as Republicans by blanking.

M: Roy got all the easy ones. I don't get that.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: Like what? OK, they were fooled into registering...

SAGAL: They thought - they were registered as Republicans but they thought they were doing what?

M: Re-registering.

SAGAL: No. They thought they were signing a petition to legalize marijuana.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: Oh.

M: Oh, crafty.

M: Ooh.

SAGAL: An investigation by the Orange County Register said the main source of the problem was an $8 bounty offered by the California Republican Party for each new Republican registered. But they said that pot advocates were partially responsible for being such easy marks.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: Because guess why?

SAGAL: They just baited the petition with Cheetos, and the next thing you know...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: Yeah.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Amy do?

KASELL: Amy had five correct answers...

M: Ooh.

KASELL: ...for 10 more points. She now has 12 points and is tied with Roy Blount for the lead.

SAGAL: All right, how many, then...

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: How many, then, does Keegan need to win?

KASELL: Four to tie, five to win.

M: All right.

M: OK.

SAGAL: OK.

M: Here we go.

M: All right.

SAGAL: Here we go, Keegan, this is for the game.

M: Mm-hmm.

SAGAL: Fill in the blank. Volunteers across the South began cleaning up in the wake of last weekend's blanks.

M: Tornados.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Right. After finishing a 20-year sentence in the U.S. for drug trafficking, former Panamanian dictator blank was extradited to France...

M: Noriega.

SAGAL: ...to await trial there. Noriega, right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Responding to a question from a fourth grader, the mayor of Provo, Utah, revealed that he did not have blank.

M: Well, the answer.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: Did not have a pen.

SAGAL: No, did not have a golden toilet.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They thought he did. And a golden house.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A bipartisan group of senators sent a letter urging the founder of blank to protect the privacy of its 400 million users.

M: Facebook.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Wisconsin woman arrested for shooting blow darts at pedestrians said...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...she had done so because blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: Because those damn kids came into my yard.

SAGAL: No, because she liked to hear people say, ouch.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

M: That's fascinating. That was my 46th guess.

SAGAL: It was just a fun afternoon for Paula Wolf sitting in her black minivan, shooting blow darts at people through the window.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And laughing uproariously when they said, ouch. There's no record of what sound she made when she was arrested.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: That's funny.

SAGAL: Carl, did Keegan do well enough to win?

KASELL: He needed at least four to tie, but Keegan had just three correct answers.

SAGAL: Oh, my goodness.

(SOUNDBITE OF AUDIENCE SIGHING)

KASELL: So, with 12 points, Amy Dickinson and Roy Blount Jr. are co-champions.

M: Woo.

M: Woo.

SAGAL: Well done.

M: Roy, I would chest-bump you, but my cleavage would get in the way, then we'd have an earthquake. So...

M: I know.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: It's worth it.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

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