Panel Round Two More questions for the panel: The Dow vs. the Fat Finger; Alf visits Russia, and Shanghai tackles bad signage.
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Panel Round Two

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Panel Round Two

Panel Round Two

Panel Round Two

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More questions for the panel: The Dow vs. the Fat Finger; Alf visits Russia, and Shanghai tackles bad signage.

CARL KASELL, Host:

From NPR and Chicago Public Radio, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Tom Bodett, Paul Provenza and Faith Salie. And here again is your host, at the Pikes Peak Center for the Performing Arts in Colorado Springs, Colorado, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Thank you Carl. Thanks everybody.

In just a minute, after a visit to nearby Pikes Peak, Carl considers taking up mountain rhyming.

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SAGAL: It's our "Listener Limerick Challenge." If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now panel, some questions for you from the week's news.

Tom, on Thursday the Dow Jones average suddenly plunged in value, at one point losing almost 1,000 points. Although analysts say it had a lot to do with the Greek debt crisis, in fact the panic was started by what?

M: It was like a computer glitch that...

SAGAL: No, even before the computer glitch. It was a human error. Not even whiteout could save this one.

M: Somebody made a mistake.

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M: That is a solid choice.

SAGAL: Yes. Well done.

M: Can I - One more hint before I abandon all hope.

SAGAL: If only he had taken touch typing.

M: Oh, he made a typo.

SAGAL: He made a typo.

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SAGAL: That's what almost destroyed our economy on Thursday.

Everything was chugging along normally on Wall Street Thursday. People were buying and selling, finance wizards were shopping for slaves online.

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SAGAL: When one anonymous trader logged a routine trade in Procter Gamble stock, we believe, and instead of typing millions of shares, with an M, he typed billions with a B...

M: Oy.

SAGAL: ...and made it look as if there was a massive sell-off of stock underway. And traders began acting like lemmings, if lemmings wore Italian suits and failed to produce anything of value.

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M: That was a tough day.

SAGAL: Yeah.

M: They've been calling this a fat finger incident. That's what...

M: Is that what it was?

SAGAL: Yeah, fat finger.

M: Fat finger - which, of course, speaks to America's obesity crisis.

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M: Right, well they can have my fat finger. I had all my...

M: Which? Your middle finger.

M: I had all my stuff in Procter Gamble. When I saw that plunge, I put it all in Greek Treasury bonds.

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SAGAL: Smart.

M: Man.

SAGAL: Paul, Dmitry Medvedev, the president of Russia, has been asked to personally investigate a charge of espionage. It seems that a governor of a Russian republic has been accused of sharing state secrets with whom?

M: With the governor of Virginia, actually...

SAGAL: No.

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M: No, it's a joke, I'm sorry. With Chechen rebels?

SAGAL: No. I'll give you a hint. He should have just taken them to his leader, as per the custom.

M: With aliens.

SAGAL: With aliens, indeed.

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SAGAL: Last week, a man named Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, he's the governor of Kalmykia, he revealed in a television interview that back in 1997, aliens abducted him from his apartment and showed him around their ship while communicating with him telepathically. So a member of the Russian parliament then asked the question any of us would ask of someone who claimed to have mind melded with aliens no one else can see. He asked: Did you reveal any state secrets?

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SAGAL: He's formally demanded a presidential investigation into what the governor might have told the aliens. Among his evidence, the aliens might have gotten that whole incubating-inside-Sigourney-Weaver thing from Russian nesting dolls.

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M: You know, I'm encouraged when I hear nutty stuff like that happening in other countries.

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SAGAL: It's like all the countries get graded on a curve and we just got...

SAGAL: Tom, the city of Shanghai is expecting more than 70 million visitors to attend their new world expo. In preparation for the past two years, officials have been trying and failing to suppress what?

M: Shanghai, suppress the mosquitoes.

SAGAL: No.

M: No. Give me a hint.

SAGAL: Well, here is a real example. There's a traffic sign in Shanghai that reads: Do Drunken Driving.

M: Oh, to stop drinking and driving.

SAGAL: No.

M: No? To do drunken driving.

M: There is a sign that says - instead of keep off the grass, it says: Don't tread on me I feel pain.

M: Oh, boy, I have no idea. These clues aren't helping me at all. I have no idea.

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M: Can I pass to Faith, and I'll get her question?

SAGAL: You can pass to Faith.

M: Chinglish.

SAGAL: Chinglish. Indeed. Chinglish is what is called the weird...

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SAGAL: ...deformed English, often used in signs and menus in China.

M: Oh.

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SAGAL: The Shanghai Commission for the Management of Language Use was set up to stamp out Chinglish in Shanghai. So, 600 volunteers are scouring the city trying to correct all these signs. For example, all of these are real, by the way. Instead of saying caution wet floor, the yellow sign says: Execution in Progress.

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SAGAL: Want me to change that? Broken toilet, the sign says: Out of Work.

M: Do you have any from the restaurant, there is a couple of great restaurant ones.

SAGAL: There is a restaurant that advertised hot Marxist treats.

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SAGAL: This is one that we really regret because of this volunteer cadre, people shopping for clothes will no longer look for sizes fatso or lard bucket.

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M: Which actually, really is, that was manufactured for the American market.

SAGAL: Yeah, I know, the tourists.

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SAGAL: Of course, you know, we shouldn't feel so superior because we have our own form of Chinglish, we have that those tattoos that everybody gets, you know, those Chinese ideograms that you got on your arm that you thinks says serenity. You know what it really says? It says lardbucket.

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