Panel Round Two More questions for the panel. A citizen shares more than just complaints at a City Council meeting, how to explain the blacklights at the U.S. Patent Office, and extreme cutbacks at the big house.

Panel Round Two

Panel Round Two

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More questions for the panel. A citizen shares more than just complaints at a City Council meeting, how to explain the blacklights at the U.S. Patent Office, and extreme cutbacks at the big house.

CARL KASELL, Host:

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Roxanne Roberts, Keegan- Michael Key and Adam Felber. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

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PETER SAGAL, Host:

Thank you Carl. Thank you so much. Thank you, everybody. In just a minute, Carl will announce his decision to leave NPR and join the NBA to play with LeBrhyme(ph) James.

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SAGAL: If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait Wait...

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ROXANNE ROBERTS: Did you spend a lot of time on that?

ADAM FELBER: This is the thing now.

SAGAL: Well, you know, we do have a week between shows. What do you think we do with the time?

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SAGAL: Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Roxanne, the Boulder City Council encourages debate and citizen involvement, of course, but recent incidents have led the council to consider a ban on what?

ROBERTS: Addressing the council wearing only underwear.

SAGAL: Exactly correct.

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SAGAL: That's the rule.

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SAGAL: Because, you know, people know they need to wear pants to city council meetings, right?

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SAGAL: They shouldn't need a rule. They need a rule.

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ROBERTS: He was wearing boxers.

SAGAL: He was. Recently in Boulder, as you say, a man stepped up to the podium wearing nothing but boxers - and in the words of one journalist who witnessed the horrifying affair, quote, stroking his hairy chest, unquote.

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SAGAL: You know, if somebody sees you, this is just a word to the wise, ladies and gentlemen, if someone sees you with your shirt off, and then makes a law banning the removal of shirts...

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SAGAL: ...it might be time for a chest wax, just saying.

KEEGAN: In his defense, he was picturing everybody else there naked.

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SAGAL: He was. As the ban succeeds, it will most likely put an end to the well- attended erogenous zoning debates at the...

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SAGAL: Roxanne, do you know why he did this? Because we could not quite figure it out, what his reason was for standing up there wearing nothing but boxers.

ROBERTS: I do not. I am assuming he was running late.

SAGAL: Yes, you know how it is.

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ROBERTS: It happens.

SAGAL: You get out of the shower. You look at your watch, like, oh hell...

ROBERTS: Right, and...

SAGAL: ...the city council meeting, public comment session starts, I'll just run out in my boxers.

ROBERTS: And it's kind of casual.

SAGAL: Right.

ROBERTS: And actually, if you really - I mean, if you really want to get into this, what's the difference between a colorful pair of boxers and a swim suit, or a pair of shorts?

FELBER: One is underwear.

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SAGAL: Yes.

FELBER: I think it's proof that the city hall security guards in Boulder are bored...

KEY: Are pretty lax.

SAGAL: Yeah.

FELBER: Yeah, they are bored.

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FELBER: Sir, we're going to have to ask you to remove those.

KEY: You know what?

FELBER: And that.

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FELBER: And that.

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FELBER: Yes, and that.

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FELBER: Okay, go on in.

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SAGAL: I'm here to complain about the security guards in the front of the building.

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KEY: They've confiscated my clothing.

SAGAL: Also, I'd like to say it's cold in here.

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SAGAL: Keegan, three months ago, the U. S. Patent and Trademark office created a new trademark office for entrepreneurs - specific entrepreneurs in a specific business - and then they promptly shut it down. So what can you no longer trademark?

KEY: Is it something to do with the Internet?

SAGAL: No, it's not something Internet. In fact, it's something that's only available in mostly California, a few other states, these days.

KEY: Marijuana.

SAGAL: Marijuana. Indeed.

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SAGAL: For three months, growers and dealers of medical marijuana were allowed to seek trademarks for names like Maui Wowie, Chronic, Purple Totenberg.

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KEY: Oh, the Purple Totenberg.

FELBER: That stuff will mess you up.

KEY: That's the good stuff.

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SAGAL: You take that stuff, all of a sudden you're talking in different voices.

FELBER: Exactly.

SAGAL: It's crazy.

KEY: If you are just starting, just take the Sky Blue Totenberg.

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SAGAL: Yeah.

KEY: Or the Mauve Totenberg.

SAGAL: Now, it's all over. It turns out somebody in the patent office realized that selling marijuana is still a federal crime...

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SAGAL: ...so maybe the federal government shouldn't allow you to trademark your illegal product.

FELBER: Right.

KEY: Dude, bad news about our new office.

SAGAL: But during...

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KEY: We totally didn't think this one through.

SAGAL: I guess not.

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KEY: Too much Purple Totenberg.

SAGAL: Yeah, verily.

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SAGAL: The patent office was just overrun with confused potheads submitting patents not for their pot, but for ideas they'd had while using it.

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SAGAL: For example, patent for method of just like thinking of a food and then you can taste the food, and all you had to do was think of the food.

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FELBER: TM.

SAGAL: And then there was this idea that came in, it was like on a patent form; it was like, did anyone ever patent getting a patent? Because then anytime somebody gets a patent, you get money.

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SAGAL: But then when I get the patent for patenting patents, do I just have to give the money to myself? Whoa.

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FELBER: That must have been a short-lived but really fun office.

SAGAL: It must have been great.

KEY: Absolutely. I am here to patent toes.

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SAGAL: Look at them.

KEY: Look at those.

FELBER: Everybody has them.

KEY: I own them.

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SAGAL: Adam, two prisoners easily escaped from a jail in Argentina this week. According to the BBC, there was a problem with one of the guards; what was it?

FELBER: He was made of cardboard.

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SAGAL: So close.

FELBER: He was a mannequin.

SAGAL: You know what?

FELBER: He was a fake guard.

ROBERTS: Castaway.

SAGAL: He was a fake guard.

FELBER: He was a volleyball.

SAGAL: Close enough.

FELBER: Soccer ball.

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KEY: It was a soccer ball.

SAGAL: The guard was a football wearing a prison officer's cap.

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SAGAL: Staffing at...

FELBER: But he put in 20 good years.

SAGAL: Yeah. Staffing and budget cuts meant that only two of the 15 prison guard towers were staffed with humans. And even though security cameras captured the entire escape, the sporting goods over in tower three did nothing to stop it.

FELBER: Oh, wow.

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KEY: I'm moving to Argentina right now and committing a whole bunch of crimes.

SAGAL: The incident has ended the ball's otherwise exemplary career...

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SAGAL: ...in corrections. And he left and he said - the football said, you won't have me to kick around anymore.

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FELBER: Oh, wow. Oh, man.

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KEY: You know, that's got the makings of the worst buddy cop movie ever.

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KEY: Here's your new partner; I work alone. Apparently, I still do. I've got a soccer ball as a...

FELBER: Go get him, just chuck him at the bad guys, you know.

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SAGAL: He's a by-the-book cop; two weeks from retirement, he's a football.

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