Limericks Carl reads three news-related limericks: a defense against sign-stealers, space gets a lot more fun, and boyfriends and girlfriends sharing maybe too much.
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Limericks

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Limericks

Limericks

Limericks

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Carl reads three news-related limericks: a defense against sign-stealers, space gets a lot more fun, and boyfriends and girlfriends sharing maybe too much.

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank.

But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924- 8924. You can always click the contact us link at our website, that's waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago's loop, and also next week's show in New York City at Carnegie Hall. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

HOLLY THOMAS: Hi, this is Holly from Easton, Massachusetts.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things in Easton?

THOMAS: A little bit warmer than usual for this time of year.

SAGAL: Yeah, yeah. How's everybody in Boston dealing with the fact that the Red Sox are out of it?

THOMAS: I think they're not dealing particularly well.

SAGAL: Really? So basically you turn on sports radio, you just hear constant weeping?

THOMAS: Yeah, yeah.

SAGAL: Holly, welcome to our show. Carl Kasell right now is going to read you three news-related limericks. Of course, he will not say the last word or phrase. That is your job. Do that two times out of three, you'll be a winner. Ready to go?

THOMAS: Okay.

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, Host:

The crime rate for street signs is soaring. Fun names like Green Acres, they're scoring. But thieves will not steal if there's no appeal. So let's make our street signs more?

THOMAS: Boring.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The trouble with living on a street with a name like Boone's Farm or Mary Jane Lane is that people are immature and they steal the signs. Quote, "We're losing something like 550 signs a year to theft," said Georgia County Manager, Luther Smart, who's no stranger to funny names himself. In order to address the problem, officials have started encasing the signs in fiberglass, but people in Georgia have shotguns.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So officials have another solution, quote, "Boring names. Streets like First, Second, Third Street." But, you know, we suggest they go all the way, Harry Reid Drive, PBS Boulevard. Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: I've been out in space over a year. There's no DUIs ever out here. The jet's at full throttle. Hand me a cold bottle. I'm flying and drinking a?

THOMAS: Beer.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Space is pretty cool, so far. But it's had one major downside. No beer up there. The carbonation in beer makes it tough to drink. But that's about to change. An Australian company called Astronauts4Hire is sending astronauts up in an airplane to simulate weightlessness. They're trying to try out a custom- made space beer. Researchers say the tests will provide essential data on not only on how the beer goes down, but also how it comes back up.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They have discovered, by the way, that the helmet with the beer holders and the straws totally does not work.

ALONZO BODEN: What I think is great is these highly trained scientists/pilots become astronauts. The peak of the aeronautic world and what do you need? Beer.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BODEN: Beer is what we need up here.

SAGAL: They've been asking for that for years.

ROY BLOUNT JR: They'll invent a robot that drinks beer for you.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, here is your last limerick.

KASELL: It's not that our stars are aligned, but to do what she says I'm resigned. I fulfill all her wishes and do all the dishes. With this ring, she took over my?

THOMAS: Mind.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: We've long been aware of that annoying thing couples do where they finish each other's sentences and predict each other's bad stories at dinner parties. But new research from Sydney University this time actually confirms that some couples have a sort of sixth sense, whereby their brains work in a shared, quote, "altered state." Now, this would be awesome in a sci-fi movie, but chances are real-life couples are just using this amazing power to bicker more efficiently.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's like, does this dress make me look - you bastard.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: How could you say that? I didn't say it. You were going to.

BODEN: So what you're saying is that a woman can get mad at a man before he's done anything.

AMY DICKINSON: That's right.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

BODEN: And yet scientists needed money to study this?

SAGAL: Apparently, apparently.

BODEN: They couldn't just open the door and ask, hey buddy.

SAGAL: Guy comes home, the wife slaps him. He says, yeah, you know, I was going to deserve that soon.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Holly do on our quiz?

KASELL: Well Holly had three correct answers, Peter, so I'll be doing the message on her voicemail.

SAGAL: Terrific.

KASELL: Congratulations.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Holly.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

THOMAS: Well, thank you.

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