Transported by Trans Fats
AARON FREEMAN, commentator:
First they came for our fois gras.
ROBERT SIEGEL, host:
Commentator Aaron Freeman lives in the Windy City.
FREEMAN: Now, the Chicago City Council wants to take away our beloved trans fats. Never mind that most Chicagoans couldn't tell a trans fat from a transistor, if the government wants to take them away from us then, by dinghies, we gonna fight for ‘em.
To a certain extent, banning trans fat goes against Chicago's municipal traditions. It took us until January of '06 to claw our way to the top of Men's Fitness magazine's list of fattest cities in America. What is this trans fat ban going to do to our ranking?
Anybody who has visited a Chicago beach knows the pride we Chicagoans take in having the kind of six-pack abs you get from drinking real six-packs.
Last year, Chicago banned smoking in public restaurants because it's distasteful. This year, we stood up to the fois gras lobby and outlawed that because it's cruel to ducks. And now they want to ban trans fat because they're unhealthy. At this rate, in another decade Chicagoans will be creatures of pure light.
I think I understand why the trans fat ban is coming up now and it has to do with summer in Chicago. You walk around our downtown on a flawless July afternoon, newspapers trumpet yet another White Sox victory, jets taking off from O'Hare Field, drift lazily overhead, and cool breezes off Lake Michigan caress your face like a lover. It's the kind of thing that makes you believe in the perfectibility of human life.
In a perfect city, why shouldn't our food be healthier or restaurants more fragrant? And why should Chicago be a beacon of hope to the world's ducks? I am one Chicagoan who wishes our aldermen well in their quest for urban nirvana. I just hope they remember that the Kingdom of Heaven will not be truly achieved until somebody can legislate at least one league pennant for the Chicago Cubs.
SIEGEL: Commentator Aaron Freeman is a Cubs fan and he only eats approved by the Chicago City Council.
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