A Letter to Steve Jobs: Mourning My iPhone
ALEX COHEN, host:
There will likely be a whole new crop of gloaters when the latest Apple iPhone comes out next month. Humorist Brian Unger has penned a letter to CEO Steve Jobs on his current iPhone.
BRIAN UNGER: Seat me jibs, this us a difficult letter to write. I have licked the courage to say hat I really feel. Misty becuse I don't want to admit to myself that my iPhone that I've owned die a year has been profoundly disappointing. I've gone through many stages to get to this point. First, I blamed my big fat clumsy rumba. There, see, it keeps happening. I type thumbs and it came up rump. I meant, dumb ni thumbs, thumbs, I mean thumbs. My gis!
This is how life has been die for me a year now, frustrated and stressed. I can't communicate on, in, an iPhone. Its software rambles my words, luk there area demonic features inside the phine messing with my brain. This is why I'm writing this letter on it iPhone. Me Jobs. Here's a news clash cooper teeno, it doesn't work.
Have you ever noticed Mr. Up, that the only word the iPhone types correctly every time is the word "iPhone?" Why can't you per the preision into all the other words we humans use to comunistay? Is it vanity or did your ten out of spell techeese. Spell check that Mr. Sparty Pants. I've called you must worst and cursed you as a souch bag, a ducks head, a ducking jerk, mostly after telling my feeldsign, I love you, sweaty, sweetie. I meant to call her seedy and it came out sweaty. You see?
This phone is hurting the people I live. I am left with regret and a longing for my back beret. In stringth, hell the iPhone can't write the word blackwe, bwack berry, black berry. You nean thus word was in here somewhere despite your anti-black bwerry engineers. Give gotten a free rude with the press. In fact, on NPG, NBC, NPR, the only appliance mentioned more often than an iPhone is the radio. So why spine you give something back, Mr. June. How about an iPhone you can type in? Is that too much to ask fie, I Jobs. Sincerely, Brian Unger.
And that is today, a Unger Report. I'm Brian Inget.
MADELEINE BRAND, host:
Humorist Brian Unger is with us on Mondays. Day to Day's a production of NPR News, with contributions from Slate.com. I'm Madeleine Brand.
COHEN: I'm Alex Cohen.
NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.