NFL's Tony 'The Goose' Siragusa Plays Not My Job We ask the former defensive tackle for the Baltimore Ravens to play a game called "Mary Had A 340-Pound Defensive Tackle, His Fleece Was White As Snow." Three questions for "The Goose" about Mother Goose.
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NFL's Tony 'The Goose' Siragusa Plays Not My Job

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NFL's Tony 'The Goose' Siragusa Plays Not My Job

NFL's Tony 'The Goose' Siragusa Plays Not My Job

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And now, the game where we invite on big people and ask them little questions. It's Not my Job. Tony "The Goose" Siragusa spent 12 seasons in the NFL as a defensive tackle, winning a Super Bowl with the Baltimore Ravens in 2001. He's now an on-field analyst for Fox Sports and the host of the show "Man Caves" on the DI...



SIRAGUSA: It's three tough letters, D, I and Y.


SIRAGUSA: I mean, if it gets really tough, just mumble the last one, okay.

GROSZ: All right. He is, according to our records, the largest man ever to play Not My Job. Please welcome Tony Siragusa to WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!


GROSZ: Very good to have you.

SIRAGUSA: Thank you. Thank you very much.

GROSZ: Now, you are an on-field analyst, which as far as I know, is that a new position in the broadcast world that you created or are you just the best one?

SIRAGUSA: Yeah, you know, most teams have on-field reporters. You know, they go and like, when all of the sudden you'll see a person with their foot facing the wrong direction and they come on and they say, well this guy broke his ankle, he probably won't return.

GROSZ: Right.


SIRAGUSA: I'm really not the guy who does that. I really analyze what's going on on the field, sort of like the booth, but I'm down in the end zone with the people, smelling them, letting them know what smells, what doesn't smell.

GROSZ: Exactly.

SIRAGUSA: What looks good and all that kind of stuff.

GROSZ: It's great. I mean, you know, you're down there with the fans and on the booth, and the fans, like do the fans ever heckle you? Are they like, you know...

SIRAGUSA: Yeah, yeah.

GROSZ: Giving you a hard time?

SIRAGUSA: Yeah, I had a guy in Philadelphia throw a snowball. He was a little shocked when I climbed into the stands.


SIRAGUSA: And gave a little Jersey justice, you know what I mean.


GROSZ: You feel like you get a really great vantage point down there in the end zone that the guys up in the booth can't see?

SIRAGUSA: Oh yeah, absolutely. When players, you know when you're a player and you're watching film to watch what the other team does, everybody watches from the end zone, so that's where I, like, analyze it from. I can see a lot more, you know.

GROSZ: Does it, like, ever make you feel like, oh, I want to get back out there again? Because you didn't really retire that long ago, you know.

SIRAGUSA: Oh, I'd love to hit somebody.

GROSZ: Yeah.


GROSZ: Now, do you keep up with these players? I mean you see these guys. There's guys that probably played when you played, you know. Do you still have relationships with these guys?

SIRAGUSA: Yeah, there's a couple. There's like three or four that played when I played.

GROSZ: Yeah.

SIRAGUSA: You know, I still consider myself more of a player than a reporter or than, you know, like a person in the media field, you know.

GROSZ: Right. Do you ever get text messages from Brett Favre?



GROSZ: Hopefully more tame.


GROSZ: Hopefully more tame than the...

SIRAGUSA: No, they're worse. They're worse.

GROSZ: Oh good, good.


GROSZ: And do you have allegiances? Like, you know, when you watch the Ravens play, are you just sort of like baldly rooting for the Ravens?

SIRAGUSA: No. You know, it's you know little kids ask me all the time what's your favorite team? I mean, you know, the Ravens paid me the best but they're not paying me anymore, so I have no allegiance, you know.

GROSZ: All right.


SIRAGUSA: But, you know.

GROSZ: That's the way of the world though. Now, you won...

SIRAGUSA: Now, if they want to pay me, I will definitely go and lean their way.


PAULA POUNDSTONE: This apropos of nothing what city are the Ravens from?


SIRAGUSA: Okay, nice talking to you people.


GROSZ: Baltimore.

POUNDSTONE: Baltimore. Baltimore.

SIRAGUSA: Is that you, Paula?


GROSZ: That's Paula Poundstone.


GROSZ: She knew.

SIRAGUSA: Paula, what's your number? I'm going to text you the city so you really don't ask those questions anymore.


POUNDSTONE: Baltimore, they're my favorite.



GROSZ: Now, you spent so much time in the NFL, you know, hitting people. You had a way where you could get all your aggression out. What do you do now to relieve stress? Like, if I cut you off in traffic, am I in trouble?


GROSZ: Okay.


GROSZ: Right, well I won't cut you off in this interview either, so you just talk and talk. Do your thing.

SIRAGUSA: It's not called road rage, it's just rage, total rage.

GROSZ: Just general rage.


GROSZ: Now, you have some other pursuits that you're involved in that are not football-based at all. You host this show on, I think it's called the DIY network.

SIRAGUSA: Yes, you got it.


SIRAGUSA: Yeah, DIY, we do a man cave show. What we do is we go into guys' houses that sort of the wives have taken over, you know.

GROSZ: Yeah.

SIRAGUSA: Are you married, by the way, Peter?

GROSZ: I am married. And we just bought a house, and I am completely ceding it to my wife.

SIRAGUSA: Well, you know how it was before. Did you have a house before you got married or an apartment?

GROSZ: No, we lived in an apartment.

SIRAGUSA: You live with your mom, you said? What'd you say?


GROSZ: No, I mean, well before that I lived with mom.


GROSZ: We lived in an apartment but we lived together.

SIRAGUSA: Oh, you lived in an apartment.

GROSZ: Yeah.

SIRAGUSA: So, you know, like when you were back by yourself. Were you ever a bachelor? Did you ever live on your own while you were a bachelor?

GROSZ: Yeah, yeah, I did.

SIRAGUSA: Don't lie. If you...

GROSZ: Yeah, I did.


SIRAGUSA: You were a bachelor, I mean just say it.

GROSZ: I mean, by definition, at some point. I didn't, like, move out of my parent's house and in with my wife.

SIRAGUSA: Okay. When you're a bachelor and you go and you go get the cool DVD, surround sound, you know you get some chips and stuff that are in your cabinets, ketchup. There's not much going on. But then the woman comes in and you got this cool bachelor pad and all of the sudden you blink your eyes and you've got scented candles and flowers and, you know, everything in your house has flowers on it and you've got 45 pillows on your bed and you can't even lay down.


GROSZ: It's like a decorating show for guys. I mean, there's so many shows for women that are about, you know, like decorating your home.

SIRAGUSA: Every show. Every show but mine is for women. Don't kid yourself.


GROSZ: And you're also an actor. If people saw the film, "25th Hour," you're an actor in that. You were in "The Sopranos." How did you get into acting?

SIRAGUSA: Well, it's a pretty funny story. After the Super Bowl, I was going through Home Depot because my leader chain was broke, so I was fixing that. So I got a little call and he goes - I mean I say hello and he goes, "Goose, what's going on. It's Spike Lee." And I thought it was one of my buddies. I go, yeah, okay, buddy, later and I hung up. I thought it was one of my friends playing a joke on me.

GROSZ: A classic (inaudible).

SIRAGUSA: So all of the sudden the phone rang again and he goes, "No, it's really me. Don't hang up." He goes, "I'm doing a movie and I want you to act in it." I'm like, all right. He goes, "You're going to be an Italian mobster." I'm like, great, easy, it's what I've been doing my whole life, you know, real hard.


SIRAGUSA: I guess I'm playing myself, Spike, way to be creative. But then the whole role turned to a Russian mobster and with some pretty talented people. I mean, Philip Seymour Hoffman.

GROSZ: Yeah, Edward Norton.

SIRAGUSA: Edward Norton. I mean, do you want to hear a great story?

GROSZ: Sure.

SIRAGUSA: We were all doing the reading and we're all sitting around. And I've never done this stuff, right, so they're like, oh your call time. I'm like what the hell's a call time, you know. And they're saying all these terminology that I don't really understand.

GROSZ: That's the time that you're supposed to show up, in the acting world.

SIRAGUSA: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So this girl sitting next to me, she's dressed like in that - what is that when they wear all black, Paula, you know that.


SIRAGUSA: It's that the gothic stuff.

GROSZ: Goth. Emo goth girls, yeah.

SIRAGUSA: Yeah, so the gothic look and she had, you know her pantyhose were ripped. It look she was, you know, like she dragged herself over there. And, you know, so I look over and I said, hey hon, I said what is all this call, what is this on this paper? Oh that's, you know, the time you got to show up and everything. She goes, is this your first time doing this? I go, yeah, why does it show? And she goes, no, no, you'll be okay.

So we sat there a little while. I says, is this, you know, your first time? She goes, no, I've done a couple of things. And then all of the sudden, Spike Lee goes, I'd like to introduce our cast. And Anna Paquin, please stand up, and the girl next to me stands up and I felt like a real idiot. You know, like this girl's got an Oscar at three-years-old, and here I am, you know.

GROSZ: Yeah.


GROSZ: Tony, we're delighted to have you with us. And now it's time to play a game that we are calling?


Mary had a 340-pound defensive tackle.


KASELL: His fleece was white as snow.

GROSZ: They call you "The Goose" which Wikipedia feels the need to point out, comes from the pronunciation of your last name, in case anyone thought it was about your elegant beak and long articulated neck. But how much...


GROSZ: It is.


GROSZ: Okay, well then Wikipedia once again has got it wrong.

SIRAGUSA: Yeah, they're wrong. Wrong again.

GROSZ: But how much to you, "The Goose" know about Mother Goose, that's the question. We're going to ask you three questions about Mother Goose. If you get two of them right, you will win our prize, Carl Kasell's voice on the home answering machine of one of our listeners. Carl, who is "The Goose" playing for today?

KASELL: "The Goose" is playing for Ethan Murphy of Acton, Massachusetts.

GROSZ: All right, Tony, are you ready?


GROSZ: Let's do it.

SIRAGUSA: I'm ready.

GROSZ: First question: there's a little bit of debate about whether Mother Goose was an actual person. Some people believe she was a 19th century Boston mother of 16, whose name is Elizabeth Goose. And others, believe that she was one of these people. Was it A: a French aristocrat known as Goose-Foot Bertha? B: your great-great-great-great-great Grandmother Siragusa. C: a famous cabaret dancer at the Moulin Rouge in Paris, known for her bawdy rhymes?

SIRAGUSA: Wow. I think I'm leaning towards my great-great-great-great grandmother after that.


GROSZ: Or it could be one of the other ones.

SIRAGUSA: Moulin Rouge, huh?

GROSZ: Yeah, either a dancer at the Moulin Rouge or a French aristocrat known as Goose-Foot Bertha.

SIRAGUSA: That sounds pretty boring, an aristocrat. I'm going to go with C.

GROSZ: C? You're going to go with C, the cabaret dancer.

SIRAGUSA: Well, wait, hold on, you didn't sound too impressed with that.


GROSZ: Well listen, I'm not going to tell you what to say, but your instincts are pretty good.


SIRAGUSA: I'm to go with A for Mr. Guy on the telephone who I'm representing there. I'm going to go with A.

GROSZ: That's right. A is correct.






SIRAGUSA: You didn't say final answer, so I got to change it.

GROSZ: Yeah, exactly. I gave you some leeway. It was the French aristocrat known as Goose-Foot Bertha. She was actually the mother of Charlemagne and was also known as Bertha Great Foot and Queen Goosefoot.


GROSZ: And was one of the least popular women in France.

CHARLIE PIERCE: No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, time out.

TOM BODETT: All right, that'll call time out.

PIERCE: Charlemagne's mother was named Goose-Foot Bertha?

GROSZ: She was known as Goose-Foot Bertha.

PIERCE: No wonder he overachieved. That's embarrassing.


SIRAGUSA: What, did she have webbed feet?

GROSZ: That's what we think. We think she had webbed feet and deserved the nickname for some reason. All right, anyway, our next question, Tony, for you.


GROSZ: Some nursery rhymes have been updated in our more politically correct times. For example, in 2006, British nurseries made what change to a Mother Goose classic? Was it A: "Baa Baa Black Sheep," which some people thought was racially insensitive, became "Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep"? B: "Three Blind Mice" became "Three Visually Impaired Mice"? Or C: teachers permitted students to sing "Jack and Jack went up the Hill" if they came from a same-sex household?


SIRAGUSA: I'm going to go with A.

GROSZ: You're going to go with A. That is absolutely correct.




GROSZ: "Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep".

SIRAGUSA: "Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep."

GROSZ: That's right. Somebody's got to be the rainbow sheep of the family.

SIRAGUSA: Absolutely.

GROSZ: All right, Tony, you're doing pretty good. Here's your last question.

SIRAGUSA: Thank you.

GROSZ: Many people have attempted to update Mother Goose into modern versions. Which of these adaptations is real? Was it A: Cinemax's last night 1992 film "Mother Loose"?


GROSZ: B: 1967's "The Wacky World of Mother Goose," in which all the lovable nursery rhyme characters nearly got put to work in a diamond mine? Or C: the unsuccessful Mother Goose-themed workout video, "Jack and Jill Lalanne"?


SIRAGUSA: I'm leaning towards "Jack and Jill Lalanne" but I never met a woman who didn't like diamonds, so I'm going to go with B.

GROSZ: All right, B, the diamond mine. That is absolutely correct.





GROSZ: Three in a row.

SIRAGUSA: Is that unbelievable?

GROSZ: Very good.

SIRAGUSA: Just common sense, man, common sense.

GROSZ: Common sense.

SIRAGUSA: Anything that sparkles.

GROSZ: That's right. That is why, this is why you're called "The Goose," because not just of your name but your extensive knowledge of all things geese, I suppose.



GROSZ: Carl, how did Tony do?

KASELL: Tony aced it. He had three correct answers, a perfect score. So he wins for Ethan Murphy. Congratulations.

GROSZ: Congratulations, Tony, well done.


SIRAGUSA: Nice, nice.

GROSZ: Tony Siragusa is an on-field analyst for Fox Sports. Tony Siragusa, thank you so much for joining us today.

SIRAGUSA: Thank you. Thank you.

GROSZ: All right, bye-bye.

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