Limericks Carl reads three news-related limericks: The Wedgie Economy; The New Peter Principle; Another Reason to Skip to the Gym.
NPR logo

Limericks

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/135855560/135855542" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript
Limericks

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, and check out the latest "How to do Everything" from the producers of WAIT WAIT. This week, how to choose the best dog food. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

THERESA REID: Hi, how are you?

SAGAL: Hi, who's this?

REID: Theresa Reid.

SAGAL: Hey Theresa, where are you calling from?

REID: Ann Arbor, Michigan.

SAGAL: Ann Arbor's a beautiful place.

REID: It is.

SAGAL: We got some people from there. What do you do there?

REID: I'm the director of an initiative at the University of Michigan called Arts Engine.

SAGAL: Art Engine?

REID: Yeah, the deans of the schools of arts and music and engineering and architecture are working together to integrate art making into the university as a whole.

SAGAL: Okay. That's cool too. I thought you were putting engines on paintings and I thought that would be excellent.

REID: Yeah, no.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Theresa. Carl Kasell is now going to perform for you three news-related limericks, with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to go?

REID: Ready.

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, Host:

The economy used to be plundered bare. Now we're tracking an upswing with wondered stares. The market, it knows, what we've got 'neath our clothes. The trend is up when we buy?

REID: Chairs.

SAGAL: Not chairs.

REID: Say it again.

SAGAL: Yes, all right.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, you'd better say it again.

KASELL: I will.

REID: Say it again.

KASELL: I will. I will. The economy used to be plundered bare. Now we're tracking an upswing with wondered stares. The market, it knows, what we've got 'neath our clothes. The trend is up when we buy?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: It's 'neath our clothes.

SAGAL: 'Neath our clothes.

REID: Hair.

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Wait.

SAGAL: Oh wait a minute, all of the sudden wondered stares.

FAITH SALIE: It's something Paris Hilton forgets to wear.

REID: Underwear.

SAGAL: Underwear.

POUNDSTONE: There you go.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

REID: Underwear. Geez, oh man, thanks.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

REID: Thank you guys.

SAGAL: Underwear is riding up, well at least underwear sales are. And that, according to Alan Greenspan's underwear index - he's reported on this on the show before - it's good news for the U.S. economy. Greenspan theorized that people skimp on new underwear in lean times because, seriously, who's going to see it, especially when all you can afford to offer your dates is half your Taco Bell chalupa.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right.

REID: Okay.

SAGAL: Well that was easy. Let's do number two.

REID: Oh yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

KASELL: Of boys names not one could be sweeter, and he's top on the CEO meter. Successful young breeders give names to our leaders; they do well if they call their boys?

REID: Cheaters.

SAGAL: No.

REID: Gosh.

SAGAL: It's a name.

REID: Oh. Paula?

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, Paula doesn't rhyme.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Let's hear this one just one time. Here we go.

REID: Okay, one more time.

SAGAL: It's a name.

KASELL: Of boys names not one could be sweeter, and he's top on the CEO meter. Successful young breeders give names to our leaders; they do well if they call their boys?

REID: Peter.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

REID: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Yeah. Apparently if you want your son to become the CEO, name him Peter. It's foolproof. That's the helpful advice from a new survey of LinkedIn statistics. It finds that that is - Peter - the most common name among CEOs. So name your son Peter and he'll either rocket right to the top of corporate America, or have just one more thing to feel bad about.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Peter?

SAGAL: Yes.

POUNDSTONE: Isn't that your name?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Why Paula, so it is, and yet here I am, the CEO of nothing in particular. All right, here is your last limerick.

REID: Okay.

KASELL: It's really no gym for the prude, 'cause the squats here can be rather lewd. As we try to get thin, we show only skin. At this gym, we work out in the?

REID: Nude.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

REID: See.

SAGAL: If you're uncomfortable, you know, going to the gym and like grabbing the handle of the elliptical machine after the sweaty guy is done with it, you will absolutely want to avoid the stationary bikes at Easy Gym, nudist gym in Spain's Basque region. Membership lagged during the recession. The gym's owners came up with a quick solution, naturist workout sessions. So far, response has been lukewarm. Only five people showed up to the first session. Perhaps due to this logical conundrum: the people who most need to work out are the people you least want to see nude.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Theresa do on our quiz?

KASELL: Theresa, you had three correct answers, so you win our prize.

SAGAL: Yes, you did.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well done.

REID: Thank you, thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing, Theresa.

REID: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

REID: I'm a big fan.

POUNDSTONE: Bye, Theresa.

REID: Bye.

Copyright © 2011 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.