Chinese New Year Unique For Adoptive Families American families have adopted more than 66,000 children from China since 1999. Many of these families see the Chinese New Year as a time to instill cultural pride. But for David Youtz, the father of four Chinese daughters, that means modifying some age-old customs.
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Chinese New Year Unique For Adoptive Families

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Chinese New Year Unique For Adoptive Families

Chinese New Year Unique For Adoptive Families

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I'm Michel Martin, and this is TELL ME MORE, from NPR News. Coming up, actor Demian Bichir was just nominated for an Oscar for his role in the film "A Better Life," about the struggles of undocumented immigrants in L.A. We talked to him about the film, but he also told us about the music that inspires him. That's our In Our Ear segment and it's coming up in a few minutes.

But first, Gong Xi Fa Cai, or Happy New Year, which tens of millions of people are celebrating around the world with fireworks, parades and, of course, food. We're ringing in the year of the dragon, considered especially auspicious in Chinese culture.

The holiday's a special time for people who are connected to Asian culture, but in this country many thousands of people have that connection through adoption. According to the U.S. State Department, since 1999 around 67,000 children have been adopted from China and many of these families see the holiday as a chance to help their children learn more about Chinese traditions and culture.

We wanted to hear more about one family's Chinese New Year's story, so we are joined now by David Youtz and his daughter Sophie. David is the dad of four girls. They are all adopted from China and Sophie is the eldest and she's a junior in high school. Welcome to you both.

DAVID YOUTZ: Nice to be here. Gong Xi Fa Cai.


MARTIN: David, you previously visited with us to talk about your family, your beautiful family. Just to remind people who didn't hear our previous conversation, which was part of our Parenting segment, you and your wife are not Chinese. Your four daughters are Chinese, but you feel it's important to introduce them to Chinese culture and traditions. Why do you think that's important?

YOUTZ: Well, it's really important for a couple of reasons. It's very much who our children are. Of course our kids have various different identities going on, so they are Chinese. They were born in China. To the outside world they will look like Chinese people. They're Chinese-American and so there is a lot of interesting issues about how to help prepare them for being Chinese-American in our country.

And of course we want them to feel a lot of pride in where they came from. I think that's especially important when you're an adopted person. So we want our kids to feel really grounded and proud of their ethnicity and proud of their own stories.

MARTIN: Sophie, what do you think about that?

YOUTZ: I think it's really good that I have this opportunity to look deeper into my Chinese side since - even if we're living in America.

MARTIN: Well, your little sisters are a lot younger than you, but you've had a chance to kind of experience Chinese New Year for a while. Is there a favorite part of the holiday for you?

YOUTZ: Typically, as a teenager, I love receiving hung bao, which is red packet where the parents usually put in money for their children to spend as they wish. It's a lot like Christmas for the Chinese.

But I also really like the lion dance just because of its energetic feel and the story. One aspect of the lion dance was the man, the tamer, who really scared me with his big giant mask.

MARTIN: OK. Tell us, David - tell us a little bit more about Chinese New Year, how it's celebrated, what it means.

YOUTZ: Well, I think it's really two big things in Chinese culture. The first, of course, is it's the start of a whole new year, starting a new cycle, and just like it is for the Western new year, it's kind of a chance to look ahead, start over again, make wishes and plans and hope for really good luck.

But the other thing that it is in Chinese culture - above all, it's a family holiday, so it's kind of like Christmas and Thanksgiving and New Year's all wrapped into one section or one part of the year. And then it's, you know, it's a good two weeks of festivities if you're really doing it in the traditional way, and every day has different things going on. Some of them are just with your close family and a lot of things are with your wider circles, your clan, your extended family, times that you go out and visit other friends.

MARTIN: Well, in China, obviously, which is such a big country, this two week period would probably be a time when family members who are living apart from family or living across the country would probably try to gather. Wouldn't that be right? There's a lot of traveling back and forth...

YOUTZ: That's right. see family?

Yeah. We recently returned from living in Hong Kong for four years and one of the incredible things that goes on there and even more so over the border is that people go to great lengths to get back to their home and to wherever they call their extended family's home.

So in China, millions and millions of people are on the trains and buses and on the roads, trying to get home in the days right before the holiday.

MARTIN: So it is like Thanksgiving, only writ large.

YOUTZ: Yeah.

YOUTZ: Yeah.

MARTIN: Really big.

YOUTZ: One point three billion people large.

MARTIN: Yes, 1.3 billion people large. If you're just joining us, this is TELL ME MORE from NPR News. We're speaking with David Youtz. He's the father of four girls; they're all adopted from China. His eldest, Sophie, is with us and we're talking about how their family celebrates Chinese New Year.

So Sophie, you grew - as we, as David just mentioned, as your dad just mentioned - you've been celebrating the holiday in the United States but you just got back, right, from Hong Kong. So you had a chance to compare.

YOUTZ: Yeah.

MARTIN: What did you notice about the differences?

YOUTZ: I noticed how much more serious that this Chinese New Year is in living in Hong Kong. They had multiple Chinese dinners and brunches and festivals and line dances, and definitely the fireworks - that was a big one too. You don't see that much in America for something like this.

MARTIN: Do you miss it now that you're back?

YOUTZ: It's hard to say. I myself, I'm not really, yay, Chinese New Year. But living in Hong Kong, it has broadened my knowledge on it so it's made me think of it more as a value than a time to get away from school.


MARTIN: You know, but one aspect of the celebration - as I understand it - is that it's a time to pay respect to the ancestors. And Sophie, do you mind if I ask, is that part of it hard for you? Do you think about that? Is it a bummer at all or no?

YOUTZ: Well, I hadn't really thought about it until actually this past Sunday when my family went to this Chinese banquet in Flushing, Queens. And the host had said that all the children should bow three times to their ancestors before receiving hung bao from their parents. I've never heard of this, really before, so I didn't want to participate in it, only because I don't know who my Chinese ancestors are. And it seems to me that if I bow to someone who I don't know or haven't heard about, it just seems fake to me.

MARTIN: David, what do you think?

YOUTZ: Well, yeah. I guess I've always known in the abstract that this was an important part of the festival and for our Chinese-American friends, you know, it's very real and really important. In our family it's a little more complicated. You know, for my kids, which ancestors are we talking about? My wife and me, we have all kinds of ethnicities going on, Irish and Swiss and English and Scottish, and so my kids know about that and they know their grandparents.

But on the other side of their heritage, it's pretty much unknown. We don't really know much about the birth parents and the birth families, and in our family we frequently talk about the birth parents or recognize them. We thank them on our kid's birth days, for example. But it was a little bit startling and interesting when the local Chinese host - this was actually the city councilman for the borough of Queens, Peter Koo, had all the kids look up at a big Chinese scroll with big Chinese characters and asked them to bow three times and repeat three sort of honorary and appreciative statements to the ancestors. So a lot of the kids were, you know, down to age three or four or five and they obediently did that. And then some of the teens, I think, were having a little more complicated experience.

MARTIN: Because they're Americans.


YOUTZ: That's right.

MARTIN: It's our job to question.

YOUTZ: It felt a little unusual for Americans to do.

MARTIN: It's our job to question, right? Sophie, tell him.

YOUTZ: Yeah.

MARTIN: That's right.


MARTIN: Let's talk about what really matters, the food.


MARTIN: Thanksgiving, of course, in this country is the turkey and the New Years has other traditions, like some celebrate with, you know, black-eyed peas and rice and collard greens for prosperity and black-eyed peas for health. So is there a special food that you must have on Chinese New Year?

YOUTZ: I would say dumplings and noodles are the big things. The Chinese really like symbols, so there's a little round dumpling and it's shaped kind of like a gold pouch. And then there's the ones that we usually see that are kind of crescent moon-shaped and that symbolizes the shape of gold nuggets that they used to use for their payment, I think. And as for noodles, since they're long, they symbolize longevity.

MARTIN: Hmm. Good. David, anything you want to add?

YOUTZ: Well, I know there are so many more. Chinese, like lots of cultures, make food the center of everything. So the food and giant extended banquets are a big part of how we celebrated in Hong Kong. And everything has a meaning, so my memory of all these Chinese banquets is there is always someone pointing to something and saying oh, you have to eat this, or eat this in a certain way, or serve your parents this. Everything has these meanings. But, frankly, it's just about massive amounts of really fantastic food.


MARTIN: OK. Well, for those of us who are not Chinese, how would you recommend that we participate if we want to get a part of this experience? I know Sophie, you would recommend hung bao - definitely, right?

YOUTZ: Yeah.


MARTIN: I'm trying to get somebody to give me some hung bao but somehow it doesn't seem to be working. But I don't know.

YOUTZ: Maybe you have to bow to them three times.

MARTIN: Well, I'll try.


MARTIN: What else?

YOUTZ: I think, you know, it's a really interesting question for families like ours. We sort of select what feels comfortable to us, because we don't want it to feel artificial - but at the same time we're an American family living in New Jersey, we want to try to find a balance. So we take some of the things that we think are really important and we clean the house, we frequently buy new clothes - that's one of the big things Chinese people do. We often put out orange trees and we want to make the house feels sort of festive so that everyone's feeling like we're taking this seriously and it's important to us. But there are other parts that we don't really do or they don't quite fit our kind of family. So you know, I think all of the kids now who've been adopted from China, and then on top of that an even larger number of kids who've come from Korea and Vietnam and elsewhere, I think all of those families have found their own personal ways to bring that cultural moment into their family's lives. I think it's wonderful the way it's changed our families. We are in a way a whole new version of being Chinese-American.

MARTIN: Finally, this is the Year of the Dragon, which has a lot of meanings, but one of them is optimism for the family. So David, what is your wish for your family on this New Year?

YOUTZ: I think optimism is a great word for us this year. We're recently back from living in China, so we're sort of finding our feet again being here in America. And I think it just happens in our circumstance, we're really looking forward. We have a good feeling about the Year of the Dragon, so here's hoping it'll be a strong and good one.

MARTIN: Sophie, do you have a special wish for your family?

YOUTZ: I guess just to be happy.

MARTIN: Sounds good.


MARTIN: David Youtz and his wife, Mary Child, are the parents of four daughter, who were all adopted in China, including his oldest, Sophie Youtz. They were both with us – I'm sorry. David and Sophie were both with us from NPR New York. Thank you both so much and Happy New Year.

YOUTZ: Happy New Year.

YOUTZ: Gong Xi Fa Cai.

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