CARL KASELL, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Kyrie O'Connor, Roy Blount Jr. and Brian Babylon. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Carl.
SAGAL: In just a minute, Carl gets ejected when umpires find rhyme tar on his neck. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT WAIT. That's 1(888)924- 8924. Right now, panelists, some more questions for you from the week's news. Brian, we've talked before on the show about Vancouver's ban on doorknobs. Everything is being replaced with easy-push handles. It make it easier for seniors and other people with less dexterity to open the doors. But now they're discovering that those handles, rather than doorknobs, make it easier for whom to enter homes?
BRIAN BABYLON: Bears?
SAGAL: Yes. Bears.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Well done, Brian. Bears can easily push open the new doors, which is why so many phone calls you get from bears are now coming from inside the house.
SAGAL: It's hard to imagine how this oversight happened, until you remember that like most Canadian city councils, Vancouver's council is four-fifths bears.
BABYLON: Now, are they coming in, like, doing, like, Yogi Bear antics, or just coming in just messing stuff up?
SAGAL: I imagine, in the classic manner of bears, they come in and wreck your place looking for food 'cause, you know, everybody knows that bears are very strong. They can tear apart refrigerators, for example.
BABYLON: The thing is they do that, and they are not on drugs. They do a lot of...
BABYLON: ...Drug behavior, but they're not on dope. They're just bears.
SAGAL: That is the weirdest observation ever made...
BABYLON: 'Cause think about it...
SAGAL: ...About bears.
ROY BLOUNT JR.: You can say that about so many animals, too.
BLOUNT: Penguins - they're not on dope. Look at them.
BABYLON: They not high, man.
SAGAL: Brian, you may have heard of peak oil. That's the predicted moment when we have found all the oil supplies that exist. And from that moment on, our supply will start to dry out. So peak oil is bad. Well, according to a study from the University of New South Wales, the world may be approaching what similar disastrous event?
BABYLON: These questions are pretty hard this week.
SAGAL: Well, the shockwaves from this will be felt strongest in Williamsburg and Portland.
BABYLON: So clearly something with smelly hipsters.
BABYLON: All right.
SAGAL: What do all the smelly hipsters have?
BABYLON: Outside of handlebar mustaches...
SAGAL: You're close.
BABYLON: ...They have...
SAGAL: It's actually below their handlebar mustache.
BLOUNT: Soul patch.
SAGAL: No. Well, almost. Get larger.
BABYLON: Oh, their beards.
SAGAL: Their beard, yes.
SAGAL: We are reaching peak beard.
SAGAL: And this is serious. According to the Australian study, humanity will reach peak beard this year. That's the moment when beards become so widespread in the male population, they're no longer appealing. Beards also cease to be appealing when individual beard-havers reach what's called peak soup.
BABYLON: Wait a minute. Didn't the "Duck Dynasty" dudes take us over the edge with that whole beard stuff?
SAGAL: They might've.
SAGAL: They might've.
BABYLON: I thought that happened last month - the peak beard.
SAGAL: It could be. It could be.
BABYLON: What I want to have happen, America, is let's just stop with the extreme beards. You know, stop trying to out-beard your neighbor 'cause I think that's what's going on. You know, this guy - oh, bro, my beard can get much more girth. And then he goes and he tries to, like, out-beard a bro. Stop that. Have a modest, modest Tom Selleck 5 o'clock shadow, and then let it go.
BLOUNT: Stop at Lincoln.
BABYLON: Stop at Lincoln.
BLOUNT: That's a good one.
BABYLON: Stop at Lincoln. That's a good...
BABYLON: That's a consensus. That's called stop at Lincoln.
SAGAL: Kyrie, a new study in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior found that unlike women, men cannot do what with their voices?
O'CONNOR: They can't - they could whistle.
BLOUNT: I think they can, by the way. We can do this thing.
O'CONNOR: I think...
SAGAL: You know about this, and you think - all right.
BLOUNT: Yeah, I think so.
BLOUNT: Well, I guess that I can't do it.
SAGAL: Please, try to prove them wrong if you know the answer by doing it in such a way that Kyrie will understand what you're doing.
BLOUNT: Oh, well, now, baby.
BLOUNT: I know you just got married last week, but - oh.
BLOUNT: All right. Do some like this - just. Hang on. I noticed your legs online...
BLOUNT: ...And they were quite the thing. There you go.
O'CONNOR: You could kick down doors with those things.
BLOUNT: That's right.
O'CONNOR: They can't lower their voices?
SAGAL: To sound...
SAGAL: Men cannot really sound sexy if they try to do it.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: When women...
BABYLON: Wait a minute. I defy that.
SAGAL: Hang on.
SAGAL: Let me explain. When women want to sound sexy, they lower their voices and they sound like Terry Gross.
SAGAL: And it almost...
SAGAL: It almost always works. But when men do the same, they just sound ridiculous. It's not the way a hello or with the tone of old man's voice, but it's how confident he sounds that appeals to women.
BABYLON: That's the thing.
BABYLON: It's not in your voice. It's in your heart. I've been trying to tell people.
SAGAL: All right, Brian. Show me I'm wrong. Talk in a sexy voice for the ladies.
BABYLON: I just talk like myself. Hey, meet me at my house.
BABYLON: What is there else? You can sound like, (imitates nasal-like voice) oh, my God, come to my house. But if you believe, that's sexy.
SAGAL: If you believe what?
BABYLON: If you believe that you're sexy - (imitates nasal-like voice) hey, come to my house...
BABYLON: ...If you believe that's sexy, she'll be there.
SAGAL: She'll buy that.
SAGAL: So that you actually.
BLOUNT: If you believe you have a house, to meet at.
BABYLON: I'm like this. If you have, like, an Omar Sharif, Dr. Zhivago in your heart, it will come out. And I went way back to "Doctor Zhivago."
SAGAL: You did.
BABYLON: You know I'm saying? That's - millennials, look that up. "Doctor Zhivago," have him with some W. sprinkles. That's confident.
BABYLON: George W. - wait. George W. Bush wasn't confident?
SAGAL: He was, yeah.
BABYLON: Have that in your repertoire.
SAGAL: You found him attractive?
BABYLON: Well, I found W. attractive, like, for the swagger. But, like, put my looks on top of that.
O'CONNOR: Wow. I never looked at...
SAGAL: That would be an unbeatable package.
BABYLON: You can't stop that guy.
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