Limericks Bill reads three news-related limericks...You Must Be This Drunk To Enter, The Curious Case of David Crosby, Eau de B.O.
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Limericks

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Limericks

Limericks

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924 or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show in Milwaukee, Wis. on April 14 - Milwaukee.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Be sure to check out the latest How To Do Everything podcast. This week, Mike and Ian tell you how to defeat the Nazis because you can't be too careful about Nazis. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

WOODY BROWN: Hi. This is Woody Brown from Springfield, Va.

SAGAL: Hey, Woody. How are you?

BROWN: Good, thanks.

SAGAL: Now, Woody is a name that has different associations. But mainly it's very friendly. Are you in fact?

BROWN: Yes.

SAGAL: Oh, good.

(LAUGHTER)

ADAM FELBER: But that's what a not nice guy would say as well.

SAGAL: Exactly. Well, welcome to the show, Woody. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks you'll be a big winner. Are you ready to play?

BROWN: Sure.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: In this play zone where peeps who might fall sit, the cocktails are served and we all fit. We serve shots and beers among plastic spheres. We set up a bar in a ball...

BROWN: Pit.

SAGAL: Ball pit.

KURTIS: Yes.

SAGAL: Yes, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: So do you want to feel like a kid again but without all the hope and joy?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: San Francisco's Romper Room bar turned itself into a giant ball pit for adults last week. The barstools were cleared out, over 40,000 colorful plastic balls were brought in. It's great because when you drink so much you pass out you don't fall down, you disappear.

(LAUGHTER)

AMY DICKINSON: That sounds so creepy.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I - maybe I'm just dumb. But it sounds like a lot of fun.

DICKINSON: Really? Oh, I think it sounds really...

SAGAL: 'Cause I've been to a lot of creepy dive bars but I've never been able to actually dive.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: I just love the idea of a ball pit I won't get kicked out of.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: When Etheridge got the red kit, she thought Mr. Jolie's no bad fit. Her kids now feel had, David Crosby's their dad. But they could've had genes from Brad...

BROWN: Brad Pitt?

SAGAL: Yes, Brad Pitt.

KURTIS: Brad Pitt.

SAGAL: Very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, singer Melissa Etheridge revealed that when she was starting a family with a girlfriend she faced a kind of Sophie's choice between sperm donors. Brad Pitt or David Crosby, both offered.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: No.

SAGAL: One is talented and beautiful. The other is talented and talented.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Etheridge picked hippie over pretty. And her kids, now that they know this, she says, are not happy about it. Quote - "my teenagers are like, I could've had Brad Pitt as my dad. I could've been amazingly handsome."

FELBER: Ah, but now they have the fuel to write some resentful folk song.

SAGAL: That's true.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, you have one more limerick. Here it is.

KURTIS: I might want to mate with some charm, wit or someone with down-homey farm grit. The way I will tell is by trying their smell. I'll get a deep whiff of their arm...

BROWN: Yuck. Armpit?

SAGAL: Yes, pit.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good.

KURTIS: Yes, indeed.

(APPLAUSE)

FELBER: Wasn't that the answer to the last one?

KURTIS: Yeah.

SAGAL: It might've been. It might've also been the answer to the first one.

KURTIS: Yup. Different pits.

SAGAL: Different pits. If online dating is not working for you, it might be time to try smell dating. It works on the same principle as two dogs meeting in a park.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But it's more expensive. The folks at Smell Dating they give you - they send you a T-shirt. They tell you wear this T-shirt for three days. Do not use deodorant. Then you send it back. And they send out samples of your smell to potential matches. It's like stinky Tinder.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: I think it's going to be super successful...

SAGAL: Yeah, we were talking...

FELBER: ...Because if you're part of the small subset of people whose willing to smell other people's shirts, you're probably compatible.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Woody do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Woody, I take my hat off to you. I thought those were the hardest in a long time.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Three straight means you're a champion.

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations, Woody.

KURTIS: Bye-bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "TIMBER")

KESHA: (Singing) Oh, oh.

PITBULL: (Singing) It's going down.

KESHA: (Singing) Oh, oh.

PITBULL: (Singing) It's going down.

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