From Father To Father, A Few Words Of Wisdom On Raising Kids With Autism Anthony Merkerson's son was diagnosed with autism. Then, his younger daughter was, too. "It was a heavy load," he says, until he started getting advice from another father farther along the same path.
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From Father To Father, A Few Words Of Wisdom On Raising Kids With Autism

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From Father To Father, A Few Words Of Wisdom On Raising Kids With Autism

From Father To Father, A Few Words Of Wisdom On Raising Kids With Autism

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RENEE MONTAGNE, HOST:

This morning, StoryCorps brings us two dads. The son of Charles Jones, 12-year-old Malik, is autistic. He met another father, Anthony Merkerson, at an event for families of children with autism.

ANTHONY MERKERSON: How did it feel when you learned that Malik had autism?

CHARLES JONES: It was like a shot in the gut. I thought my son would be non-verbal, that he would never say I love you. But when he started talking he wouldn't shut up.

MERKERSON: What was the hardest day you've had with Malik?

JONES: It's not his bad days that are hard. It's my bad days that are hard. I remember when I started cutting his hair - I know the sound of that metal grinding scares him. He's fighting me. I got so frustrated. And I enforced him, like I held his head. And I could see it hurting him. Afterwards, I broke down. And then he came to me. And he says, Dad, don't worry about it. I'll be OK next time. It was a stain on my brain for a long time. And I'm working it. I'm a work in progress.

MERKERSON: I've learned, like, patience. You got to have it. In the beginning, just with my son was tough. Now, you fast forward to having a - my daughter. She is diagnosed. Two kids on a spectrum - it's like a heavy load. It's like picking up a mountain. And back then, I was in a shell. I wasn't even explaining how I was feeling. Then there happened to be an autism event. And I seen you here with Malik. That was the first time we met.

JONES: Yeah.

MERKERSON: After that has been totally different, just the fact that you're not alone dealing with this. That right there changed my life, period. How do you think people see your son?

JONES: Well, I got to tell you. I have a lot of concerns for him. My son right now is 12 years old, and he's 5-foot-9.

MERKERSON: He's tall.

JONES: Yeah, he's huge. And when he gets excited, he flaps his hands. This is not abnormal. This is as normal as rain for him. But my fear for him has been that somebody sees him and they interpret his body language as something that it's not. So even with a smile on his face he's going to be threatening to people. So let me ask you, Anthony, as a police officer, do you have concerns for my son?

MERKERSON: You know, I do, yes - my son, too.

JONES: That's why the best thing I can do is teach him what's socially acceptable and what can be misperceived as a problem. I hate to have to teach him those things. And I don't want to take his innocence away, either. But in time, he'll know. You know what? Who he is today, I never thought he'd be. So I know there's possibilities for him.

MONTAGNE: Charles Jones with his friend Anthony Merkerson in New York. Their talk will be archived in the Library of Congress.

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