The Instagram Of Dorian Gray What would've happened if Dr. Jekyll used Grindr and wondered why Mr. Hyde was always zero feet away? We've solved the core plot issues in classic works of fiction using modern solutions.
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The Instagram Of Dorian Gray

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The Instagram Of Dorian Gray

The Instagram Of Dorian Gray

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OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Hey, Jonathan.

JONATHAN COULTON: Hi, Ophira.

EISENBERG: Hey, so today's guest, Julia Stiles, starred in a movie inspired by "The Taming Of The Shrew." So Shakespearian speed round - what play inspired "The Lion King"?

COULTON: That was based on "Hamlet."

EISENBERG: Yes, how about "She's The Man"?

COULTON: That was "Twelfth Night."

EISENBERG: Exactly. OK, here's an easy one.

COULTON: OK.

EISENBERG: "Gnomeo And Juliet"?

COULTON: Oh, "Coriolanus."

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

COULTON: From NPR and WNYC, coming to you from The Bell House in beautiful Brooklyn, N.Y., it's NPR's hour of puzzles, word games and trivia, ASK ME ANOTHER. I'm Jonathan Coulton. Now here's your host, Ophira Eisenberg.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Thank you, Jonathan. We've got a great show for you. Four brilliant contestants are backstage, editing Missouri's Wikipedia page. But only one will be our big winner. And we're being joined by actor Julia Stiles. You may know her from the iconic teen movie "10 Things I Hate About You." So in honor of that, I'd like to share my list.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: You don't listen. Half the time, I can't understand you. You interrupt me. You eavesdrop on my phone calls. You're emotionally shut down. You tell awful jokes. You never leave the house. Yet when I want you, you're not there. We never have real conversations. And you're always on the internet. And there's more where that came from, Alexa.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: In our first game, we'll imagine what would have happened if Dr. Jekyll used Grindr and wondered why Mr. Hyde was always zero feet away.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Let's meet our contestants. First up, Bree Fowler on buzzer number one.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: You're a tech and security reporter for Consumer Reports. Welcome.

BREE FOWLER: Thank you.

EISENBERG: And your opponent is Tamar Caplan on buzzer number two.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: You are a structural engineer. Welcome.

TAMAR CAPLAN: Thank you.

EISENBERG: Tamar and Bree, the first of you who wins two of our games will move on to the final round at the end of the show. So let's start with a trivia game called The Instagram of Dorian Gray. In this game, we've solved the core plot issues in classic works of fiction using modern solutions. So just ring in and give me the title of the original work. Here we go.

Instead of rafting down the Mississippi, our protagonists order a Lyft. They safely reach Cairo, Ill., avoiding blood feuds and con artists and then give their driver a five-star rating.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Bree.

FOWLER: "The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn."

EISENBERG: That is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Mark Twain has a 4.2 by the way.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Is he a driver or a passenger?

EISENBERG: Yeah, a passenger.

COULTON: A passenger.

EISENBERG: I think he would be like a little chatty.

COULTON: Yeah, he's too chatty - didn't like that guy with a mustache.

Phileas Fogg uses Hipmunk to book first-class airplane tickets for a leisurely vacation circumnavigating the globe.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Bree.

FOWLER: "Around The World In Eighty Days."

COULTON: That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Long John Silver uses monster.com to apply for a job as a ship's cook. Young Jim Hawkins checks Silver's questionable references and decides they should interview other candidates.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Bree.

FOWLER: "Treasure Island."

EISENBERG: That is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: This game makes me realize that I have not read any books.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: I know.

COULTON: I don't know how I missed it, but I did.

EISENBERG: I know. I was like, there's no question about Archie and Veronica?

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: In this classic play, Walter Younger runs a successful Kickstarter campaign to open an artisanal liquor store on the South Side of Chicago.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Bree.

FOWLER: "Death Of A Salesman"?

COULTON: No, I'm sorry. That is incorrect. Tamar, do you know the answer?

CAPLAN: This is not my topic clearly.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: I hear you, sister.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: We were looking for "A Raisin In The Sun" by Lorraine Hansberry.

EISENBERG: Heathcliff peeks at Catherine's Instagram feed and decides she's doing fine without him.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Bree.

FOWLER: "Pride And Prejudice."

EISENBERG: I'm sorry. That is incorrect.

CAPLAN: Well, I know it's not "Pride And Prejudice."

EISENBERG: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: And there's, like, about seven other things you know it's not by now.

CAPLAN: (Laughter) Potentially, yeah.

EISENBERG: Do you want to take a guess - answer?

CAPLAN: I got nothing - really have nothing.

EISENBERG: Would you like to say a title of a book you've enjoyed?

(LAUGHTER)

CAPLAN: We'll pick one of the Harry Potter series, and we'll run with that.

EISENBERG: OK, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: The - we were looking for "Wuthering Heights."

COULTON: This is your last clue.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: English schoolboys grapple with the savagery of roaming charges when they use their smartphones to call for help after being stranded on an island.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Bree.

FOWLER: Oh, "Lord Of The Flies."

COULTON: Yeah, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Puzzle Guru Art Chung, how did our contestants do?

ART CHUNG: It was a tough game. Bree, well done. You're one step closer to the final round.

(APPLAUSE)

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