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Panelist Game

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Panelist Game

Panelist Game

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BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Roxanne Roberts, P.J. O'Rourke and Tom Bodett. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.



Thank you, Bill. Thank you so much. In just a minute, Bill sings, he's so rhyme, doo lang, doo lang, doo lang. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAITWAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Tom, this week, a plane was forced to make an emergency landing in India after a woman discovered what in the middle of the flight?

TOM BODETT: Oh, God, I know this. She discovered - and I don't know how she discovered, but she discovered that her husband was cheating on her.



P.J. O'ROURKE: Oh, yeah, she was looking at his phone while he was asleep.

SAGAL: This is what's brilliant. So this is what happened. There's a Qatar Airways flight. It's on the way to Bali when this woman - this is what she did. Her husband fell asleep, so she grabbed his phone, picked up his limp hand and put his thumb...


SAGAL: ...On the button, unlocking the phone.

O'ROURKE: Guys, never sleep without your gloves.

SAGAL: Yeah.


SAGAL: Looked at the phone...

O'ROURKE: No love without the glove.


SAGAL: P.J., I say this because you may not know this - that's not what that means.


O'ROURKE: You're right, Peter. I didn't know that.

SAGAL: All right. All right. So anyways - so this woman got so incredibly angry and started going after her husband, screaming and yelling and hitting him. And she wouldn't stop, so they actually had to land the plane in Chennai, India, to get both of them off it to continue the journey.

The - this upset the other passengers, having to land. They said they'd much rather watch this woman scream at her husband than sit through another episode of "Young Sheldon."


SAGAL: Roxanne, in a pilot program in a private New York City school, kindergartners are now being encouraged to do what?

ROXANNE ROBERTS: It's probably something sad and insanely competitive?

O'ROURKE: Crocodiles?

ROBERTS: Crocodiles?


ROBERTS: No, they're probably, like, practicing their college admission essays.

SAGAL: Even worse, I would say. I'll give you a hint. They're having IPOs before they learn the ABCs.

ROBERTS: They're, like, baby entrepreneurs?

SAGAL: Yes. They're starting businesses...


SAGAL: ...In kindergarten. These - yes. Well, you know what it's like out there. These days, you are nothing if you don't have your first million by the age of seven.


SAGAL: A company called WeWork, which creates these hip workspaces for, quote, "conscious entrepreneurship" has started its own elementary school where little children are encouraged to turn their passions into companies. Can you imagine their pitches? They're, like, 8 years old. It's like Uber, but for boogers.


O'ROURKE: Wait. Wait a minute. When certain sports shoe companies do this overseas, isn't it called child labor...

SAGAL: No, no, no.


SAGAL: If they're in management...

BODETT: This is child management.

SAGAL: Child management.

O'ROURKE: This is management. I see. OK.

SAGAL: Yeah. These kids are, like, 7 or 8. They're, like, just 10 years younger than Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.


SAGAL: What - like, OK. Your kid - your normal kid in a normal school thought it was fun to have a lemonade stand. Now there's a kid with an $80 million startup called Lemonr, which connects people who have sugar with people who have lemons.


BODETT: You know, I took junior achievement when I was in high school.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BODETT: But do they still do that? It's, like, it's this thing, only for bigger kids. And I made a product called handi pad - H-A-N-D-I - that was my innovation.

SAGAL: And what was the handi pad?

BODETT: It was about six pieces of paper stapled to a board, and we manufactured them in their little shop there, and we sold them door to door. We sold one door to door.


ROBERTS: What did you do with it? Was it like a notepad?

BODETT: It was a handy pad. It's like...


O'ROURKE: Oh, I get it.

BODETT: It was very flexible. You could do whatever you wanted with it, you know?


BODETT: Had people only tried it.


SAGAL: P.J., reports show that fewer people are buying goldfish as pets, in part because they're just no good for doing what?

O'ROURKE: (Laughter) Well, that's a long list, Peter.


O'ROURKE: Their cooking stinks (laughter). You know, I mean, they're lousy with the laundry.


O'ROURKE: Because they're no good for emotional support. Is that...

SAGAL: No. Something more sort of modern.

O'ROURKE: I need a little hint.

SAGAL: Well, it's weird because - weird that this is true because they already have a fisheye lens.

O'ROURKE: Oh, they're no good for selfie photos.

SAGAL: That's exactly...



SAGAL: ...Right. Nobody really wants to see pictures of you with your cat, but that is nothing compared to how few people want to see pictures of you with your goldfish.


SAGAL: So an article in The Telegraph this week suggests the declining popularity of goldfish as pets is related to how hard it is to take a selfie with them. Right? It's so frustrating that you can't take a good picture of your fish. It's like...

O'ROURKE: Bigger bowl, waterproof phone (laughter).

SAGAL: That's all you need.

BODETT: You could always freeze it in place.


SAGAL: Like, take the goldfish bowl...

O'ROURKE: Put it in the freezer.

SAGAL: Just put it in the freezer.

ROBERTS: No, I think...

SAGAL: Slam the door closed.

ROBERTS: No, I think he's just talking about just the fish.

SAGAL: Ignore their cries of terror.

O'ROURKE: Yeah, yeah.

BODETT: Right.

ROBERTS: You talking about just the fish?

BODETT: No, and if it freezes clear, which it should if you don't disturb it, then your fish is held still. You can move it to the right angle.

SAGAL: That's right.


BODETT: And then you...

ROBERTS: You guys are just terrible people.

BODETT: Well, you can get another fish.


ROBERTS: (Laughter) No...

O'ROURKE: True, we've really never denied that one.

SAGAL: Yeah, that's true.


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