An Unlicensed Halloween Contestants must identify characters and celebrities based on descriptions of unlicensed costumes in their likeness.
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An Unlicensed Halloween

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An Unlicensed Halloween

An Unlicensed Halloween

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OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Our next two contestants will play a game about bad knockoffs. Did you know there is a generic Oreo brand called Creme Betweens?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Yeah, I'm sorry you can't unhear that. Let's meet our contestants. First up - Michael Marino. What did you dress as for Halloween?

MICHAEL MARINO: So I was Lucy from "Peanuts," like the doctor's in.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

MARINO: I made 75 cents giving advice.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Was that just one question? Or was it numerous?

MARINO: Yeah, a couple.

EISENBERG: How much did you charge per question?

MARINO: Only five cents - but more people had quarters, so it was good for laundry.

EISENBERG: And what did they want advice on?

MARINO: Sometimes relationships, sometimes like fashion, so all things.

EISENBERG: Fashion?

MARINO: Yeah, animal prints are neutral. So spread the word.

EISENBERG: Yeah, thank you. Very good. So Michael, when you ring in, we're going to hear this.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Your opponent is Constantine Petallides. What was your Halloween costume?

CONSTANTINE PETALLIDES: So I had just gotten out of my cast from breaking my leg. So I was Dr. House. I had the cane. I had the bottle of Vicodin. And I walked around insulting people.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Yeah, I like that. I like any costume you can make from your own wardrobe. That's - Constantine, when you ring in, we're going to hear this.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: OK, remember, Michael and Constantine. Whoever has more points after two games will go to our final round. Let's go to your first game. So it's that magical time of year when your local Halloween adventure store turns back into the vacant storefront it was just two months ago.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: And to recognize the end of the spooky season, we're going to give you the name and description of a real Halloween costume that you can buy that is similar to but not legally infringing upon a preexisting character or celebrity. You tell us the original character or person the costume is approximating. Here we go. The Brothers Grimm may be in the public domain. But Disney's lawyers are no joke - better safe than sorry with this costume called stroke of midnight maiden.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Michael.

MARINO: "Cinderella."

EISENBERG: Yeah, "Cinderella."

(APPLAUSE)

JONATHAN COULTON: Don't shout, my wife, when you wear this Sasha Baron Cohen wig and mustache. Avoid a lawsuit by instead shouting, my partner, because you are dressed as a Eurasian traveler.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Constantine.

PETALLIDES: "Borat."

COULTON: "Borat" is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Become your Food Network hero and take everyone to flavor town - sunglasses not included with this knockoff costume celebrity chef wig and goatee.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Constantine.

PETALLIDES: Guy Fieri.

EISENBERG: That's right.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Do you think he has to wear a hairnet over the goatee?

COULTON: I think according to health regulations he does, yes.

EISENBERG: He's got to wear a little...

COULTON: But not - probably not for the cameras.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

COULTON: A ruffled shirt and a nearly floor-length jacket may not give you musical talent, but your friends will say you got the look of this, quote, "purple rock legend."

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Michael.

MARINO: Prince.

COULTON: Prince - you got it.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Wasn't that one of his names for a brief period - purple rock legend? Like, that legitimately could have been how Prince referred to himself.

COULTON: The artist formerly known as purple rock legend.

EISENBERG: That's right. That's right.

COULTON: Tim Burton isn't seeing royalties from any of these classic Michael Keaton character knockoffs. Will you shake your body on time at your office party dressed as juice demon or scare-meister?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Constantine.

PETALLIDES: Scarecrow.

COULTON: That is a fine guess, but it is incorrect. Michael, do you know the answer?

MARINO: No, definitely not.

COULTON: Definitely not. OK, does anybody out there know the answer?

UNIDENTIFIED CROWD: "Beetlejuice."

COULTON: "Beetlejuice," that's correct.

EISENBERG: Yep, juice demon.

COULTON: Juice demon.

EISENBERG: That's like where you buy wheatgrass shots, I think.

COULTON: Over at the juice demon.

EISENBERG: Over at the juice demon - this is your last clue. If you love black-and-white skinny cigarettes and being mean to puppies, this costume is for you. It's cruel boss lady.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Michael.

MARINO: Cruella de Vil.

EISENBERG: Yeah, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Great game - Michael is in the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: So speaking of knockoffs, if you think Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! is a knockoff of this show, you should apply to be a contestant. Go to amatickets.org. Coming up, I'll talk to comedian Ronny Chieng who hosts a segment on "The Daily Show" called Everything Is Stupid. I like a man who sets the bar high. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and this is ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR.

(APPLAUSE)

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