OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:
While Charlie and Allison get ready for the final round, it's time for us to play a game along with our special guest. Please welcome back Jim Gaffigan.
JIM GAFFIGAN: Thank you.
EISENBERG: Jim, this game is called Wisdom of the Crowd. We asked a previous live audience here at The Bell House to respond to questions with numerical answers. For example, how many kernels are there on an ear of corn? And then we average everyone's guesses. And now I'm going to ask you the same questions, you and Jonathan, and we're going to find out who's closer - you, Jonathan or the wisdom of the crowd.
GAFFIGAN: All right. You're going down, Jonathan.
JONATHAN COULTON: All right. I'm ready.
EISENBERG: According to a survey conducted by the research company OnePoll, what percentage of adults still cuddle with a childhood stuffed toy? Jim.
GAFFIGAN: I'm going to say 17 percent.
EISENBERG: Seventeen percent. OK, Jonathan, what do you think?
COULTON: That feels high to me.
COULTON: I - you know, once you have a significant other, ideally that's your stuffed toy.
GAFFIGAN: What if - why can't a stuffed toy be your significant other?
EISENBERG: It's true.
COULTON: I'm going to say it's a little bit lower, but it's higher than I think.
GAFFIGAN: Can I change my answer?
COULTON: I'm going to go with 12 percent.
EISENBERG: All right.
GAFFIGAN: All right. I'm going to go with 10.
EISENBERG: OK, so Jim thinks 17 percent of adults still cuddle with a childhood stuffed toy. Jonathan thinks 12 percent. The audience thinks the answer is 22 percent.
COULTON: Way too high, audience.
GAFFIGAN: I think...
EISENBERG: But get this - the actual answer is 43 percent.
EISENBERG: Yes. You're all reacting that way, but 43 percent of you do it.
GAFFIGAN: Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
EISENBERG: I think this is just real.
GAFFIGAN: You know what's interesting? It's like, you know, my wife had a brain tumor. Did I bring that up?
GAFFIGAN: And our friend gave us this stuffed animal - not animal - stuffed brain. It was like a plush that's...
COULTON: Plush brain.
GAFFIGAN: ...Shaped like a brain. It's cuter than it sounds.
EISENBERG: I could imagine...
GAFFIGAN: And that's in our bed, and I sometimes cuddle it.
COULTON: Whoa, there you go. Well, wait a minute.
COULTON: So you're part of the problem - or solution.
GAFFIGAN: So I'm - you know what? I was caught up in my own bias.
COULTON: Happens all the time.
EISENBERG: According to the latest data from the Original Tooth Fairy Poll, how much money does the tooth fairy pay American kids per tooth, on average? Jim, you know about this.
GAFFIGAN: Yeah, I do know about this. I'm going to say that it's a dollar.
EISENBERG: One dollar per tooth.
GAFFIGAN: One dollar.
EISENBERG: All right. What - how much do you give your kids?
GAFFIGAN: I don't give them anything.
EISENBERG: Great. Good.
GAFFIGAN: Because they deserve nothing.
COULTON: I will say it depends a lot on if it was the first child or the second child or the third child.
COULTON: I feel like sometimes you're going to give a coin to a kid because when you're a kid (laughter), every amount of money seems like a huge amount of money.
GAFFIGAN: Yeah, that's true.
COULTON: So you can get away with giving them a lot less.
GAFFIGAN: When you have children, it's also, what bills do you have on you?
COULTON: Yeah, what do you have in your pocket?
GAFFIGAN: Do you know what I mean? Like, do you have a one on you?
COULTON: Just leave a bank card there.
GAFFIGAN: Do you know what I mean? It's like - one of my kids, I gave him a euro. Do you know what I mean?
GAFFIGAN: It's like - they don't know.
COULTON: I'm going to say that it's somewhere between 50 cents and a dollar, just to be interesting. I'll say 63 cents.
EISENBERG: Sixty-three cents, OK.
COULTON: On average.
GAFFIGAN: That is interesting.
EISENBERG: All right, so...
COULTON: Really fascinating.
EISENBERG: Jim thinks the average kid gets a dollar for a tooth.
EISENBERG: Jonathan thinks the kid gets 63 cents.
COULTON: Sixty-three cents.
EISENBERG: Our audience thinks the answer is $5.17 per tooth.
COULTON: Average, $5.17?
EISENBERG: And according to...
GAFFIGAN: So but that's probably an average. So like, there's...
EISENBERG: That's an average. That's right.
GAFFIGAN: That's like one nutjob saying a hundred-dollar bill.
EISENBERG: And according to that poll, as of 2017, the average was $4.13 per tooth.
COULTON: What is happening out there?
EISENBERG: I know, for a kid's tooth. I understand if you're an adult, and you lose a tooth, someone should give you $5.
GAFFIGAN: Or give you an address of a dentist.
EISENBERG: That'd be nice, too - a hookup. OK, here's your final one. According to CBS News, how many tater tots did Americans consume in total in 2017? Jim - tater tots.
GAFFIGAN: OK. The ironic thing is, I kind of know this.
GAFFIGAN: All right. So what do we got, 330 million Americans, right?
COULTON: How many of them eat any tater tots over the course of a year?
GAFFIGAN: All right, 329 million.
COULTON: Sure. Most of them, yeah. Tater tots are delicious.
GAFFIGAN: So, you know, let's weight it a little higher for the Midwest, where I'm from.
GAFFIGAN: I'm going to say 600 million taters.
EISENBERG: OK. OK. So two tots per person.
GAFFIGAN: I'm going to say two tots - look. There's a lot of people that are not eating tots, but there's a lot of people that are eating a lot more tots.
GAFFIGAN: You've got to think also - schools. There's a lot of tots.
COULTON: I know.
GAFFIGAN: Lot of tots.
EISENBERG: Jonathan, what do you got?
COULTON: That is such an upsetting idea.
COULTON: The idea of 600 million tater tots in one place is freaking me out.
EISENBERG: It's - yeah.
COULTON: And for that reason, and that reason alone, I'm going to take it down an order of magnitude.
COULTON: And I'm going to say 60 million.
GAFFIGAN: Sixty million.
EISENBERG: Sixty million. OK.
GAFFIGAN: Wow. I guess there's a diet occurring.
GAFFIGAN: Have you ever been to Idaho, my friend?
EISENBERG: Jim thinks 600 million. Jonathan thinks 60 million. Our audience thinks 6,222,163,540.
COULTON: Six billion tater tots.
GAFFIGAN: Wait a minute. Is pot legal in Manhattan now?
EISENBERG: But the actual answer is, of how many tater tots did Americans consume in total in 2017, 38 billion.
GAFFIGAN: That's - what a beautiful country we live in.
EISENBERG: It's amazing. It's amazing. Technically, I guess you won that one.
EISENBERG: All right. That's Wisdom of the Crowd. Thanks again to Jim Gaffigan.
EISENBERG: His latest Grammy-nominated album is "Noble Ape." Thank you so much. Jim Gaffigan, everybody.
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