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Panel Questions

Panel Questions

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Alonzo, forget about the sharks. This summer, people all over the world are dealing with what threat at the beach?

ALONZO BODDEN: Jellyfishes.

SAGAL: No, not jellyfish.

BODDEN: Hint.

SAGAL: They're not in the water.

BODDEN: It's not...

SAGAL: Look to the sky.

BODDEN: The sun.

SAGAL: Not the sun.

BODDEN: Seagulls.

SAGAL: Seagulls...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Exactly right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: For some reason, places all over the world are reporting terrible problems with seagulls this summer. For example, Ocean City in New Jersey had such a problem with seagulls attacking tourists on the beach to steal their food that they have imported falcons.

HELEN HONG: What?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Because nothing bad could ever happen by setting a worse animal free to control a less worse animal.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But don't worry. Don't worry. If the falcon population becomes an issue, the natural predator of falcons are panthers.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Well, I hate to keep going backwards, but this shouldn't be a problem too long in New Jersey because once all the guys stop recycling, there'll be enough garbage for the seagulls...

SAGAL: That's true.

BODDEN: ...To be well-fed.

SAGAL: That's absolutely true.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: Wait.

SAGAL: Yes?

HONG: They're actually letting falcons run around Ocean City, N.J.?

SAGAL: Well, they are. They actually are importing falconers - that's a job you can have in New Jersey.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So when somebody in New Jersey says, oh, I'm a falconer, he's not really in the mob. He's a falconer.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And these guys come, and the falcons - apparently, they fly around, and they don't so much attack the seagulls as they scare the seagulls away. But that's a problem because, you know, without seagulls, their natural predator, the french fry population is going to explode.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Couldn't they just get some bad-ass pigeons from New York...

SAGAL: That's true.

BODDEN: ...To go down?

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: (Imitating New York accent) I understand you got a little seagull problem.

SAGAL: (Imitating New York accent) We can take of that for you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The seagulls are, like, we don't want much. We just want to dip our beak.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "I RAN (SO FAR AWAY)")

A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS: (Singing) I walk along the avenue. I never thought I'd meet a girl like you, meet a girl like you.

SAGAL: Coming up, there's a bustle in your hedgerow on our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.

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