Panel Questions Cosmonaut Pant Problems and Potiquette.
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Panel Questions

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Panel Questions

Panel Questions

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TOM PAPA, HOST:

Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Paula?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Yes.

PAPA: The Russian space program unveiled their new high-tech space suit this week. It's lighter, safer and more comfortable. But astronauts are complaining they forgot to include one thing. What?

POUNDSTONE: A fly.

PAPA: That's right...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

AMY DICKINSON: (Gasping).

PAPA: ...A fly.

(APPLAUSE)

PAPA: The new Russian spacesuits don't have a fly on them, which makes sense because on earth, when you leave your fly down, it's embarrassing. But in space, your genitals literally explode.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I don't know why I think that's so funny.

DICKINSON: You know why you think it's funny.

POUNDSTONE: I do. I know exactly why.

PAPA: The removal of the fly has angered Russian astronauts, who will no longer be able to carry out their ritual - and this is real - peeing on the wheel of the bus that takes them to the launchpad. The tradition started in 1961 when the first man in space peed on the bus. It's weird that they once sent that dog into space, but it was a person that started this tradition.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: They peed on the bus, go round and round.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Amy?

DICKINSON: Yes.

PAPA: The Emily Post Institute, which sets standards for manners, has just released a new book with the rules of etiquette for what?

DICKINSON: A new rule of etiquette for - I'm going to say - I was thinking pets, for some - animals - no, that would be my...

PAPA: I'll give you a...

DICKINSON: ...Rulebook.

PAPA: (Laughter).

DICKINSON: Wait. Let me think.

PAPA: Would you like a hint?

DICKINSON: Yeah, sure.

PAPA: It's a little extreme that you're supposed to send a thank you note after every hit.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, my gosh.

DICKINSON: Oh, the Taliban. No.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: That's not it. That's not it.

PAPA: I love the Taliban putting out rules for etiquette.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: So let's think - a thank you after every hit.

PAPA: Yes.

DICKINSON: Oh.

PAPA: After every hit.

DICKINSON: After, like, pot smoking.

PAPA: Weed.

DICKINSON: Like...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PAPA: That's right.

DICKINSON: Weed. What?

POUNDSTONE: Wait a minute.

PAPA: Weed.

DICKINSON: There was a whole book for...

PAPA: Have you ever smoked weed and thought, am I doing this right? Am I being polite? Am I peeing my pants, and do all my friends hate me?

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: Well, pick up the new marijuana manners handbook called "Higher Etiquette."

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: No...

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

PAPA: It covers how to behave in dispensaries, how to label the weed you provide for guests and when to use your salad joint and when to use your dessert joint.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Wow.

PAPA: Yeah.

DICKINSON: That is genius.

POUNDSTONE: Isn't it?

DICKINSON: Yeah.

PAPA: Yeah.

BIM ADEWUNMI: It's exactly the kind of purchase you would make while high.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

ADEWUNMI: Yeah.

PAPA: I don't know how I feel about the whole weed legal thing. I live in California, and it - when you - it used to be if you smelled weed, you were, like, oh, I'm someplace cool. This is a...

DICKINSON: Yeah.

PAPA: I'm at a concert. Now you're, like, I'm in a nursing home visiting my grandmother.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "PASS THE KOUCHIE")

THE MIGHTY DIAMONDS: (Singing) Pass the kutchie 'pon the left hand side...

PAPA: Coming up, our panelists ruin your summer, or what's left of it. It's Bluff The Listener. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.

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