Panel Questions Near Extinction, Smell The Burn, A Case For Jesus.
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Panel Questions

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Panel Questions

Panel Questions

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BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Tom Bodett, Faith Salie and Helen Hong. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill races in the Indy Rhyme-hundred with Danica Limerick. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, we have some more questions for you from the week's news.

Tom, NASA is charged with watching the skies. But in July of this year, apparently they didn't look carefully enough to notice what?

TOM BODETT: The death meteor?

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

FAITH SALIE: What?

SAGAL: That's what happened.

(APPLAUSE)

HELEN HONG: What?

SAGAL: Internal emails at NASA that were retrieved through a Freedom of Information Act request showed that NASA, in July, saw an incoming asteroid only 24 hours before it flew by quite near the Earth. NASA, whose entire purpose is to look up and say, oh what's that...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Saw the asteroid just 24 hours before it zipped by the earth, just 50,000 miles away, which is, like, nothing. The asteroid was dubbed 2019 OK, which stands for OK, we're all going to die.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They say it's the size of a football field and would have smashed about 50 miles of earth - totally pulverized it.

HONG: What?

SAGAL: Yeah.

HONG: We could have almost just died?

SAGAL: I know.

BODETT: And 50 - that's like fifth of the way of the moon, right?

SAGAL: That is exactly right. It is...

HONG: What?

SALIE: What?

SAGAL: ...One-fifth.

BODETT: You would see that go by. It would, like, blow your hair back if that went by.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: So it did come that close?

SAGAL: It did.

SALIE: And they didn't...

SAGAL: They saw it.

SALIE: They saw it. But we didn't?

SAGAL: Well, they saw it. And it went - flew by, obviously did not crash into Earth.

SALIE: But I can see...

SAGAL: And they were like...

SALIE: ...The moon. And the moon's five times further away. Why didn't I get to see it?

SAGAL: You sound like you're upset that it was in the neighborhood, and it didn't visit.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's like it posted, like, on Instagram, oh, I'm here in New York. And you were like, you were here? You didn't come?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Faith, according to The Wall Street Journal, fitness junkies everywhere are trying a new workout supplement. What is it?

SALIE: We know it's not strychnine.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's not strychnine. That it did not work out.

SALIE: It must be something unusual if it's...

SAGAL: Well, it's something unusual for what people would think of as very energetic activity, yes.

SALIE: OK. Can you give me a hint?

SAGAL: Sure. It helps you get those stoned-hard abs.

SALIE: Weed?

SAGAL: Yes, weed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: As a performance enhancing drug...

SALIE: What?

SAGAL: ...Bye-bye steroids. Marijuana is the new drug helping gym rats workout and be weird at sex.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: In what way could marijuana help a work out?

SAGAL: Well, I can tell you what they say.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Because, of course, I have no firsthand knowledge. One weightlifter, who smokes 14 joint today...

SALIE: What?

HONG: What?

SAGAL: ...Told The Wall Street Journal, quote, "you definitely feel the blood to flow through each specific muscle."

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: If you smoke 14 joints a day, you get through the workout because you can't feel your face.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Right.

SAGAL: Helen, Halloween is right around the corner. So you know what that means - your favorite stores are already full of Christmas crap. This year, Costco is selling a new Advent calendar, not full of chocolate, but full of what?

HONG: Jelly beans.

SAGAL: No.

HONG: Can I have a hint?

SAGAL: You can. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a Schlitz.

HONG: Liquor?

SAGAL: More specifically...

HONG: Beer.

SAGAL: Yes, beer.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: What?

SAGAL: It's a 24 cans of beer Advent calendar.

HONG: Wow.

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: I love this country.

KURTIS: (Laughter).

HONG: Jesus would be so proud.

SAGAL: Yes.

SAGAL: The Brewer's Advent Calendar at Costco has 24 different German beers, in honor of the gift of the often overlooked fourth wise man.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: What up, virgin mama. I brought Brewskis.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Gold, frankincense and byrrh (ph).

SAGAL: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It works like this. Each day of December, you open a little door. And you pull out a different beer. And by Christmas, you will have built up enough alcohol tolerance to tolerate your in-laws.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: Do you say a little prayer and then crush the can on your head?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's what Jesus would do, so...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If you were apprehensive about starting every morning in December with a can of German beer, just remember, hey, it's at Advent somewhere.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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