ROBERT SIEGEL, Host:
NPR's Kathy Lohr has that story.
KATHY LOHR: Felicia Lowe sits on the floor with 22-month-old Drew DeUnger and his mom, Ruth, in their home in Hinesville, Georgia.
(SOUNDBITE OF CHILD MUMBLING)
FELICIA LOWE: Did you wake up from your nap? Are you showing me your things, Drew? What do you have?
LOHR: Lowe visits once a month to support Drew's mom, Ruth DeUnger, and talk about how Drew is doing. Ruth raises a new issue that's cropped up.
RUTH D: He started whining a lot and he whines about, I mean, just the silliest little things.
LOHR: DeUnger's husband is deploying to Iraq this month for the second time. And Felicia offers this advice.
LOWE: Sometimes we can identify with our stress level but we can't identify with the children's stress level.
UNGER: Okay.
LOWE: And a lot of times, that's the first thing that you'll notice. They all tend to be a little more whiny than they really were in the past.
UNGER: Yeah.
LOWE: So a lot more hugs and kisses - encourage him and let him know that he can do it till he comes home.
UNGER: Yeah.
LOWE: Good job, Drew. And you got the yellow triangle and the green star.
LOHR: DeUnger helps us to outfit together the pieces of a large puzzle, while Lowe watches them. This family has experienced military life for 10 years. They've had to move several times. Ruth DeUnger has watched her husband go to war while she stayed behind. She says the Parents as Teachers program has helped her family.
UNGER: It's obvious that this program is helping Drew in his development but it's also has helped me. It's taken a lot of stress off me. You know, when I was growing up, I always thought my mom was going to be the one who would sit down and show me how to do these things with my first child and teach me how to be a mom. And I have her on the phone, but it's different, you know, having Felicia come here and sit down on the floor and actually do these activities with us, and it helps a lot.
LOHR: Much of the information is very basic. Things like teaching children about daily tasks. Like talking about colors and shapes as you shop for groceries. This is the kind of wisdom that typically grandma and grandpa would pass on. But most soldiers don't live near their extended families. So it's a challenge, especially for new parents and young parents.
SUE STEPLETON: There have not been services available generally for families of very young children.
LOHR: Sue Stepleton is president of the Parents as Teachers national program.
STEPLETON: I think it's only been in the last couple of decades that we've really understood what happens from good prenatal care through those first couple of years, really sets the tone for the rest of a child's life. Can there be remediation if necessary? Absolutely, but if we miss out on capitalizing on those first few years, we're really missing where the bang for the buck could be the most.
LOHR: The Pentagon's program is called Heroes at Home. It focuses on the kind of stress military families are facing - relocation, deployment, separation and being a single parent. The lead parent educator at Fort Stewart - Felicia Lowe - says it's about the basics.
LOWE: Having someone there to talk to, to share - because it can be isolating. There are a lot of times you do feel like you're alone - and having someone to come in and, you know, to kind of help you out and, you know, give you a pat on the back is nice.
ANDY D: Can give - come tackle me? Come on. Just hit him low.
UNGER: Let's go.
LOHR: Staff Sergeant Andy DeUnger plays on the floor with Drew.
UNGER: I think I'm going to miss seeing the blond lightning bolt streak through the living room and watching him in this huge growth period of his life. I think I'm going to miss everything.
LOHR: One activity that Heroes at Home suggests is creating a special book to help young children remember their parents. The one Ruth and Andy DeUnger are making is thick.
UNGER: And I try to put at the beginning of each picture this is me and my Daddy - and then whatever. And so, you know, I thought maybe the repetition he's seen this is me and my Daddy.
LOWE: Exactly.
DEUNGER: This is me and my Daddy.
LOHR: Kathy Lohr, NPR News.
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