JONATHAN COULTON, HOST:
This is NPR's ASK ME ANOTHER. I'm Jonathan Coulton. Here's your host, Ophira Eisenberg.
OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:
Thanks, Jonathan. We're playing games with comedians Carmen Lynch and Liz Miele. Are you ready for another one?
CARMEN LYNCH: Yeah.
LIZ MIELE: Oh, yeah.
EISENBERG: OK. So, Liz, you wrote a book about cats, so this game is about dogs.
MIELE: Oh, so mean.
EISENBERG: OK, it's a real or fake game. So we're going to give you a dog breed, and you're just going to tell us if it's a real breed recognized by the American Kennel Club or a fake breed that we just made up. So the answer is just real or fake, and we're going to go back and forth on this one, too. Carmen, this one is for you.
EISENBERG: Small Munsterlander. It's a small...
LYNCH: Fake. Fake.
EISENBERG: (Laughter) Munsterlander - it is real, actually. That is real. That is a real...
EISENBERG: That's a hunting dog named for the...
MIELE: Made of cheese?
EISENBERG: ...Munster region of Germany. That's so funny.
COULTON: (Laughter) The cheese dog. It's one of them cheese dogs, yeah.
EISENBERG: Yeah, the cheese comes from Munster, France, so the dog comes from Munster, Germany. And I think - it says, not to be confused, but I'm sure that gets confused all the time.
MIELE: Yeah. I was like, 100%...
MIELE: ...Like, there's no cheese dog. I got you, Carmen. It's wrong.
COULTON: All right, Liz, real or fake - giant Chihuahua.
COULTON: (Laughter) Yep, it is totally fake. Although...
MIELE: That actually sounds horrifying.
MIELE: That sounds like they - like "Honey, I Blew Up The Kids."
MIELE: ...When they, like, make small things bigger.
COULTON: Yeah. I'm just picturing, like, an 80-pound dog that's, like, the same proportions as a Chihuahua but just very big (laughter).
COULTON: And it seems kind of gross.
EISENBERG: All right, Carmen - Teddy Roosevelt Terrier.
LYNCH: You know what? I think that's real. I think I've heard of that.
EISENBERG: Oh, yeah, that is real.
LYNCH: Oh, yeah, Teddy.
EISENBERG: It is a - yeah. It's a short-legged rat terrier named for President Roosevelt. So I guess President Roosevelt had a lot of pets. He had a small bear named Jonathan Edwards. He had a lizard named Bill, guinea pigs named Admiral Dewey, Dr. Johnson, Bishop Duane, Fighting Bob Evans and Father O'Grady. He had a pig named Mud. He had a badger. He had a blue macaw. He had a hen.
LYNCH: And a dirty house.
MIELE: Yeah, yeah.
COULTON: Yeah. But I have to say, it sounds like he has read your description of how to name a pet properly.
EISENBERG: I know. It's perfect.
MIELE: I was thinking that.
LYNCH: I was thinking that, too.
MIELE: I was like, that's pretty good.
LYNCH: Dr. Johnson.
COULTON: I like the small bear named Jonathan Edwards. That's nice.
EISENBERG: I love that.
MIELE: Oh, my God. Big fan. Big fan.
MIELE: Go, Teddy, go. You did it.
COULTON: All right, Liz. Here's one for you - Rowlf Terrier.
MIELE: It sounds like it's made up from the Muppets. I'm saying no (laughter).
COULTON: Yes, it's made up from the Muppets. You're absolutely correct.
EISENBERG: Totally made up from the Muppets.
MIELE: I love the Muppets.
COULTON: (Laughter) Rowlf, of course, is the piano-playing dog...
MIELE: Yes. And he's...
COULTON: ...Of indeterminate breed.
EISENBERG: We don't know.
MIELE: And honestly, he - even though he's - Fozzie Bear's the comedian, Rowlf - I really identify with Rowlf 'cause he's just always struggling, and he doesn't really believe in his talent. And I was just like, we're more Rowlf.
COULTON: (Laughter) More Rowlf than Fozzie.
MIELE: Because Fonzie, like, believes he's funny. What comedian do we know that actually thinks they're funny?
LYNCH: Nobody. Not the funny ones.
EISENBERG: All right, Carmen. This is your last one.
EISENBERG: Bohemian Shepherd.
LYNCH: Bohemian Shepherd sounds fake to me. Fake.
EISENBERG: I'm sorry. That is real.
EISENBERG: Yes. It excels at dog dancing, according to the American Kennel Club.
EISENBERG: That's a competitive event where the dogs - and their trainers, by the way - perform a choreographed routine.
EISENBERG: Am I not remembering right that a group like this won "America's Got Talent"?
LYNCH: You know, it's possible. I remember I did that show, and I was running against some guy jumping into mousetraps.
LYNCH: That show has got everything.
COULTON: All right, Liz. Last one. It's for you - Australian stumpy-tailed cattle dog.
MIELE: I think it's real, but I want to advocate for a new name.
LYNCH: Yeah, who wants to be called stumpy?
EISENBERG: It's awful, right?
COULTON: Yeah. You are correct. It is a real dog.
COULTON: And it is, in fact, an Australian dog that herds cattle, and it has a stumpy tail.
MIELE: That goes to my - that's, like, an anti-naming thing. You don't just, like, pick out traits and make...
COULTON: That's right.
MIELE: That's a low self-esteem name. I don't like it.
EISENBERG: Right. It's like you set up this breed right from the start that it has no worth.
LYNCH: Now, that's a comedian. That dog's a comedian.
EISENBERG: You both did - thank you. Thank you. And you did fantastic with that. Carmen Lynch hosts the podcast "The Human Centapod," which also airs on Sirius XM. Liz Miele's new book is "Why Cats Are [Expletive]." Liz, Carmen - thank you so much.
LYNCH: Thank you so much.
MIELE: Thank you.
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