Check-In: Eyewear Escapades Ophira Eisenberg informs Jonathan Coulton how, after a lifetime of sitting too close to screens, she finally decided to give in and wear glasses. Coulton shares his hard-earned eyewear fashion advice.

Check-In: Eyewear Escapades

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JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: From NPR and WNYC, coming to you from beautiful Brooklyn, N.Y., it's NPR's hour of puzzles, word games and trivia, ASK ME ANOTHER. I'm Jonathan Coulton. Now here's your host, Ophira Eisenberg.



Hello, Jonathan.

COULTON: Hi, Ophira.

EISENBERG: Hey, hey. Do you notice anything different about me?

COULTON: Ophira, wait a minute.


COULTON: You're wearing glasses. Why are you - why did you just put glasses on? You don't wear glasses.

EISENBERG: I'm wearing glasses because it turns out - remember when we were kids and our parents might say to us something like, don't sit so close to the TV because you'll ruin your eyes?

COULTON: Sure, yeah.

EISENBERG: Yeah, so...

COULTON: It happened (laughter).

EISENBERG: ...I've been sitting "pretty close to the TV," quote-unquote...

COULTON: Yeah, right.

EISENBERG: ...For quite a long time now (laughter).

COULTON: Now that you require glasses...


COULTON: ...Here's the exciting thing.


COULTON: You have a - no, you have a whole new, like, fashion accessory.

EISENBERG: Accessory. This is true.

COULTON: It took me a long time to realize that you could do this with glasses, but my strategy when buying a - when shopping for frames...


COULTON: ...Is that - I've discovered that if I look at frames on the shelf and I'm like, oh, God, those are too gaudy, those are too...

EISENBERG: Yeah (laughter).

COULTON: The guy who wears that pair of frames is an unlikeable, overly stylish, showoff-y real piece of work kind of guy.

EISENBERG: Yeah, yeah.

COULTON: And so when I see those frames, I'm like, OK, try them on. And then...

EISENBERG: (Laughter).

COULTON: And then when you put them on, it transforms from the guy who's a jerk to the guy who's kind of cool - got a little cool rock 'n' roll vibe. So that's my advice to you.

EISENBERG: OK. So I should go look at the glasses and go, like, all right, which of these say that I'm a guy who's a real piece of work?

COULTON: Well, not a guy, necessarily. I mean, whatever...

EISENBERG: (Laughter).

COULTON: Whatever you choose.

EISENBERG: That'd be fine.

COULTON: But if you see a pair of glasses that you're like...


COULTON: ...Oh, if I saw a lady wearing those glasses, I would think, oh, she thinks she's so great - those are your glasses. Put them on your face.

EISENBERG: OK (laughter). I definitely don't own those glasses.

COULTON: 'Cause you are so great, and you should represent to the world that you think so. And they will agree with you.

EISENBERG: Yeah. Yeah. I still feel, like, the way I look - I have no idea how I look. But I do know that people have - they'll ask me to water their plants or...

COULTON: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: ...Take care of their house while they're away or ask me for directions or...

COULTON: Yeah, rock 'n' roll.

EISENBERG: Yeah, or assume that...

COULTON: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: ...I'm there because I organized the party, so...

COULTON: Right. Do you work here?

EISENBERG: So, yeah, exactly. So I'm just going for the next level up.

COULTON: Exactly, exactly.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) OK, exactly.

COULTON: (Laughter) Well, so now that you can see properly, do you want to...


COULTON: ...Read who's going to be on today's show?

EISENBERG: That's right. This week, I don't have to make it up, like I usually do, which drives our booker crazy 'cause she's like, oh, great. I guess now I have to get Hilary Swank on the phone.

COULTON: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: Anyway, today's show is stacked with delightful guests. Later, the amazing Grammy-winning musician Sara Bareilles will play a game about her favorite show, "The Golden Girls." Plus, from the beloved cartoon "Rugrats," we have the actors who voice Angelica Pickles and Chuckie Finster - Cheryl Chase and Nancy Cartwright. But first, we'll play games with two guys who are no strangers to competition. So let's do it.


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