MICHELE NORRIS, host:
To mark Mother's Day, Youth Radio sent us this story from Logan Barnes. At 12, he was the good son, looking after his brother while his mother worked long hours. Then things began to change. Now 17, Logan Barnes reflects on how his mother made him who he is today.
LOGAN BARNES: Diane Barnes(ph) adopted me a few days after I was born. She's been a great mom. As a single mother, she worked hard to give me and my brother a good education and raise us in a decent neighborhood in San Rafael, California. But things between my mom and me got really hard, and when I was 13, our relationship was at an all-time low.
Ms. DIANE BARNES: It seemed as if conflict was always present, and it was always adversarial. It was always fighting, struggling and a lot of disrespect coming my way.
BARNES: I had so much anger and frustration inside me, especially towards my mom. My A's and B's had turned into C's, D's and F's. I hated my life.
Ms. BARNES: And I was afraid that you would dig yourself into a hole so deep, you might not be able to get out of it.
BARNES: In high school, I started getting into fights, and I was cutting classes. I ran away from home. I even got in trouble with the law. My mom remembers a conversation that I can't really remember, and for her, it was a turning point.
Ms. BARNES: You said, you think I'm out of control, mom? You think I'm out of control? You haven't seen out of control yet. And at that point, I realized it was your choices. It was all about you, where your head was and what you wanted to do. And I needed to give you a place to find your better self.
BARNES: So one night, at two o'clock in the morning, my mom did the craziest thing. She opened the door to my bedroom and sent in two bodyguard-looking guys. They woke me up and told me to put on my clothes and get ready to leave my home. They wouldn't let me pack or anything, and they didn't even tell me where we were going. My mom gave me a hug and told me she loved me, and I didn't say anything back to her.
Ms. BARNES: And I thought, oh my gosh, I'm really doing this, and I came into my own room and cried. And within five minutes, all of you were out the front door, and I felt like the door to my life as I'd known it was closing. I was now a mom with no child at home.
BARNES: I spent about six weeks at a Montana wilderness program, and I hated it. It felt like punishment. My mom was desperate to find another option for me. That's when she found a boarding school in Costa Rica.
The whole thing could've gone really badly, but we got lucky, and I became a different person there. I don't even know exactly how. Maybe it was being in a different culture and learning Spanish. Maybe it was the school therapist and teachers working with me every day. Being there felt like a reward, and eventually I realized that if anyone was being punished, it was my mom.
Ms. BARNES: To me, it feels like I gave up the joy and the pleasure of living with you and watching you grow and being your mom in order to give you a neutral, safe space where you could grow up without the ability to run yourself into the ground. I feel like I was trying to give you back your life.
BARNES: And mom, that's exactly what you did. For NPR News, I'm Logan Barnes.
NORRIS: That story was produced by Youth Radio. You're listening to ALL THINGS CONSIDERED from NPR News.
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