UNIDENTIFIED PERSON: The following program was taped in front of an audience of real, live people.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME! the NPR news quiz. I'm the music festival all the cool kids want to attend. I'm Lolla-Bill-ooza (ph), Bill Kurtis. And here's your host, a man who just decided a beach body is anybody you happen to have when you're at the beach, Peter Sagal.
(APPLAUSE)
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. It's already our summer break, which feels impossible because until recently, time had no meaning and the calendar was nothing but a random collection of numbers and words.
KURTIS: It was like being a time traveler, but sadder.
SAGAL: Fortunately, some things have finally started to change, including our getting back to doing our show in front of a live audience. So this week, we are celebrating with some of our favorite interviews that happened live on stage in front of real people.
KURTIS: Many times we interview our special guests over the phone, but we love it when we can see their faces, especially a face like Steve Buscemi's, who joined us at the Brooklyn Academy of Music in May of 2015.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)
SAGAL: So Steve Buscemi was born here in Brooklyn and grew up in nearby Valley Stream, just a few miles away...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...Where, amazingly, he was a jock. But he's become one of the most beloved, busy and recognizable actors of our time, with starring roles in the classics "Reservoir Dogs" and "Fargo," and he just finished a five-year run as the sentimental gangster boss of Atlantic City on HBO's "Boardwalk Empire." Steve Buscemi, welcome to WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
(APPLAUSE)
STEVE BUSCEMI: Thank you so much. Great to be here.
SAGAL: It's really fun to have you.
BUSCEMI: Thank you.
SAGAL: You - so Steve, as I mentioned, back in high school, you were an athlete, right?
BUSCEMI: Yeah, I was on the wrestling team. I played soccer and a little bit of track. And I had a pretty mean reverse cradle.
MIKE BIRBIGLIA: Is that a track term or a wrestling term?
BUSCEMI: It's a wrestling term.
SAGAL: Yeah, you sort of hold them, and you put their head in the ground.
BUSCEMI: You get his head in a headlock and a leg, and you grip your hands together and...
SAGAL: Can you still do that?
BUSCEMI: I can still - I try it on my wife every...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And - but at a certain point you decided to try to get into show business and perform. You were a stand-up, right?
BUSCEMI: Yes. I tried doing stand-up. I actually - I don't know how, but I passed the auditions at The Improv in, like, 1978. And I would hang out there. But I would never get on. I would just be there, like, late at night and watch all the - like, Jerry Seinfeld and Gilbert Gottfried and all these guys perform. And then one night they did not have anybody there to go on. And it was still, like, early in the evening. And the manager, you know, came over, and he looked at me, and he said, all right, you. You're up.
SAGAL: It's your moment.
BUSCEMI: It's my moment.
SAGAL: It's going to happen.
BUSCEMI: And I was just about to go up, and then Paul Reiser came walking in.
(LAUGHTER)
BUSCEMI: Thank God Paul's here. And they put Paul up.
(LAUGHTER)
PETER GROSZ: I think "Mad About You" would've been a lot better if you were on it.
BUSCEMI: Well, I actually - but I actually, I did guest star on "Mad About You," where I played a disgruntled subway token guy who went to film school with Paul Reiser. And I got to yell at him in the scene.
SAGAL: Really?
BUSCEMI: Yeah.
SAGAL: Did Paul know this?
BUSCEMI: No. I don't think he would have cast me if he knew that I really, like, held...
SAGAL: Held an actual grudge.
(LAUGHTER)
BUSCEMI: And then I told him the story, and he went, wow, you really do hate me.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Is - I'm dying to know - what was your comedy like?
BUSCEMI: Oh, this is why I quit.
(LAUGHTER)
BUSCEMI: It was - I don't want to talk about it.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I've been thinking about all the roles I've seen you in, and your characters, although sometimes very, very funny themselves, really laugh at stuff. You're always sort of beleaguered by what's going on.
BUSCEMI: You don't really want to see me laugh on a big screen.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Really?
BUSCEMI: Yeah.
SAGAL: That'd be frightening?
BUSCEMI: Yeah.
SAGAL: We've asked a lot of actors who've been in the show, like, if they could describe the kind of role they play in a way. You've done so much, it's harder, I admit. But if you...
BUSCEMI: I don't know. How would I sum it up?
SAGAL: Yeah.
BUSCEMI: I don't - wow, that's a hard one.
JESSI KLEIN: Dreamboat.
BUSCEMI: Yeah, dreamboat. Thank you.
(LAUGHTER)
KLEIN: You're welcome. Dreamboats.
BUSCEMI: I'm misunderstood.
SAGAL: Yeah. You're often misunderstood and somewhat frustrated.
BUSCEMI: Yeah.
SAGAL: I mean, I remember - the first time I saw you, a lot of people, was as Mr. Pink in "Reservoir Dogs." You're very frustrated in that movie.
BUSCEMI: Well, rightly so.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Yeah. That movie, you know...
GROSZ: Nobody got a square deal. Everybody got tossed around one way or the next.
SAGAL: Yeah. I also - and this is not universal to your roles, God forbid, but you have had some of the most memorable deaths I've seen.
BUSCEMI: I've had a lot of deaths.
SAGAL: You've done a lot of deaths. You died in - I'm sorry for the spoilers - "The Big Lebowski." Probably your best death - would everybody agree? - "Fargo," into the wood chipper.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: In that scene where the other actor is holding your legs, were those - I know they're not your actual legs, but did they try to make them look like your actual legs? Did they mold your calves to make the fake legs?
BUSCEMI: No, I don't know where they got that leg.
(LAUGHTER)
BUSCEMI: And I was a little upset. That looks nothing like my leg.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Mr. Coen, can I have a moment with you please? Look.
BUSCEMI: But people, you know, sometimes stop me and say that that's their favorite scene of mine in "Fargo."
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Really?
BUSCEMI: Yeah. I'm serious.
SAGAL: You were so convincing as a disembodied leg and a spurt of blood.
GROSZ: You look great now. I mean, you look fantastic.
SAGAL: Perhaps your saddest death, at least for me as a fan, was in "The Sopranos"...
BUSCEMI: Oh, yeah.
SAGAL: ...Where Tony himself shotguns you.
BUSCEMI: Yes.
SAGAL: I was sad to see you go.
BUSCEMI: I - well, me too.
(LAUGHTER)
BUSCEMI: And I remember I called my mother. You know, we're not supposed to say what's happening on - you know, I mean, David Chase had a very strict rule. But that afternoon, I called my mother to tell her that I was going to die that night on "The Sopranos," 'cause, like, she's seen me die so many times.
SAGAL: Yeah, well.
(LAUGHTER)
BUSCEMI: So I wanted to prepare her. And I said, mom, just so you know, I'm going to get it tonight. And she says, but who kills you? I said, Tony. She says, oh, Steven...
(LAUGHTER)
BUSCEMI: He's your cousin. I said, I know, but I've done bad things. My character - you know, and he's, you know. So that night after the show, I called her to see if she was OK. And this is only - you know, can come from a mother. She said, oh, you looked so handsome - after I was shot.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Really?
BUSCEMI: After - yeah. Laying there on the porch, the way you looked, you looked so handsome, so peaceful.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Yeah. So the rest of us are looking at your shotgunned head, and she's like, oh, he looks nice.
BUSCEMI: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Steve Buscemi, what a pleasure to talk to you. But we've asked you here to play a game we're calling...
KURTIS: Complete form B46-A and get back in line.
SAGAL: Now, as we were discussing, you were not always Steve Buscemi, famous actor. In fact, we once read that when you were a young man, your father had you take the civil service exam. So we're going to ask you three questions about the civil service. Get two right - you'll win Carl's voice on the voicemail of one of our listeners. Bill, who is Steve Buscemi playing for?
KURTIS: Brian Calandra (ph) of New York, N.Y.
SAGAL: All right.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Here we go. First question. Now, we're all familiar with the postal worker, the proud civil servant in charge of delivering our mail. But along - through the long history of the Postal Service, they have occasionally faced competition such as which of these? A, mail cats, domestic cats outfitted with mail pouches.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: B, The Tony Express of 1930 Staten Island, where a group of guys named Tony delivered mail anywhere you wanted in the borough.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Or C - and this was just late last year - based on the notion's popularity on the podcast "Serial," Ira Glass tried to introduce real-life MailKimps.
(LAUGHTER)
BUSCEMI: How could any of these be real?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Mail cats, the Tony Express or real MailKimps?
BUSCEMI: I don't know why, but I'm going to go with the Tony Express.
SAGAL: I...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I love the Tony Express.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Hey, I'm Tony. It's actually mail cats.
(LAUGHTER)
BUSCEMI: Oh, come on.
SAGAL: So in the 1870s, the Belgian Society for the Elevation of the Domestic Cat tested out mail cats rigged up like carrier pigeons with messages tied to their collars. But the problem is that unlike carrier pigeons, cats go wherever the hell they want, so...
(LAUGHTER)
KLEIN: Yeah, you couldn't really pick a worse animal.
BUSCEMI: I know. Why a cat?
SAGAL: Really.
KLEIN: It's the worst one.
BUSCEMI: Why a cat?
SAGAL: All right. You still have two more chances. The DMV may be the most hated part of the civil service, but we're here to tell you there's a reason for that, as in which of these? A - one of these really happened - a DMV official in Cleveland was disciplined for trying out his five-minute comedy routine on each customer...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...Because he was, quote, "trying to get them to smile for their license picture."
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: B, a man who moved from New Mexico to Connecticut was told he couldn't have a Connecticut license because, quote, "this branch doesn't handle foreign transactions."
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Or C, a DMV official in Reno would prank people taking the driving test by throwing a baby doll under a tire and screaming.
(LAUGHTER)
BUSCEMI: You see - now, all of those sound like they could have really happened.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You're actually right. We made this too hard.
BUSCEMI: The second one does really sound plausible.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: They like it. They've been to the DMV.
(APPLAUSE)
BUSCEMI: I'm so tempted to go with the first one, and I'm probably wrong, but I'm going to go with A.
SAGAL: You're going to go...
BUSCEMI: Did I say A?
SAGAL: You said A.
KURTIS: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
BUSCEMI: It's B. It's B.
SAGAL: You're right. It's B.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: It was the guy in Connecticut.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: The guy says, look. Just call New Mexico, and you'll straighten this out. And the guy says, I can't. We're not allowed to make international calls here.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Connecticut DMV. All right. So this one is for all the marbles. Perhaps the branch of the civil service that people complain about the most is the TSA. And in one recent case, our worst nightmares were confirmed when two agents in Denver were fired for doing what? A, to save time, they just pasted one of those men's room stick figures of a man on their screen so they wouldn't have to check anybody. B, They ran a business in the airport parking lot selling bottles of water, wine and gourmet jam taken from passengers.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Or C, they set the machine to alarm whenever an attractive person went through so they could check them by hand.
(LAUGHTER)
BUSCEMI: C.
SAGAL: Yes, it's C again.
(APPLAUSE)
KURTIS: (Laughter).
SAGAL: It was sort of brilliant but creepy. The trick was whenever the scout saw an attractive guy through, she would alert her partner to set the machine to female. So then the machine would detect a kind of anomaly in the groin area if - and oh, you have to be checked by hand.
SAGAL: They've been fired, so worry not.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Steve Buscemi do?
KURTIS: Two out of three.
BUSCEMI: Yeah.
SAGAL: Congratulations.
KURTIS: That's a win.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Well done.
BUSCEMI: Thank you.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
SAGAL: When we come back, it's the Metallica "Saturday Night Live" mashup you've always wanted with drummer Lars Ulrich and Aidy Bryant. We'll be back in a minute with more WAIT, WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.
KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. And here is your host, who loves to cruise on summer nights with his top down and the stereo blasting Fresh Air, Peter Sagal.
(APPLAUSE, CHEERING)
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill. Now that we get to see people again, we're taking some time this week to revel in how great it is to see people.
KURTIS: For example, in the summer of 2017, we went to San Francisco and got to talk to Lars Ulrich, drummer of the greatest metal band of all time - Metallica. Peter asked him about his first career ambition.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)
SAGAL: So is that true that you grew up playing tennis? That was your first passion, right?
LARS ULRICH: Yes. My dad was a professional tennis player, so I grew up on the tennis tour. And there aren't many tennis players in Denmark. And I was ranked in the Top 10 in most of the age groups.
SAGAL: Right.
ULRICH: So when we moved to Los Angeles after I finished school in Denmark, I wasn't ranked in the Top 10 on the street that I lived on. And...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And I love the fact that your birth as a rock 'n' roll legend came out of bitter disappointment.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: How did you come up with the name Metallica for your band?
ULRICH: Well, I came up here, actually, in the spring of 1981 and ended up at a kegger over on Strawberry Hill. And I met a bunch of really cool San Francisco kids. One of them was named Ron, and he told me he wanted to start his own fanzine - like a hard rock fanzine where he wrote about all his favorite bands. And he wanted - he asked me whether he should call the fanzine Metallica or Metal Mania. So I suggested that he call it Metal Mania.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Really?
LUKE BURBANK: Is Ron the guy sharpening a knife outside the theater?
SAGAL: Yeah.
ULRICH: Yes, he's - yeah. I have to make a quick getaway through that door.
SAGAL: So this is a tough question to ask anybody, but I'm going to do it anyway. Metallica - once you founded it and your records came out in the late '80s, early '90s, you became the biggest metal band, if not the biggest hard rock band of all time. Can you explain why, what it was about your band and your sound?
ULRICH: Other than our good looks?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Yeah, basically. Well, that's a given.
ULRICH: Yeah. We were really inspired by what was going on in Europe at the time.
SAGAL: Yeah.
ULRICH: So we took those European influences and kind of had a new sound. And so when you say - why did we end up becoming more well-known or whatever? It was because we had a different sound than most of what was going on in California...
SAGAL: Sure.
ULRICH: ...And in the States at the time.
SAGAL: You are a knight.
ULRICH: In Denmark, they use a different term, but...
SAGAL: What is the term?
ULRICH: ...The English equivalent would be a knight, yes. I - a few months ago, the royal - crown prince of Denmark was in town. There was a conference of Danish business leaders, you know, the Legos of the world...
(LAUGHTER)
ULRICH: ...The Bang and Olufsens...
SAGAL: Yeah.
ULRICH: ...The Maersks and all the other leading Danish companies - they were all over in Sausalito at Cavallo Point. And I was invited to join the festivities. And there was a dinner. And I showed up to that and got ambushed. His Royal Highness stood up and started talking about a particular person in the room who had talents far and above most other people in Denmark. And...
SAGAL: But not for tennis.
ULRICH: ...I was sitting there going...
(LAUGHTER)
ULRICH: ...Who the hell is he talking about? And about five or 10 minutes later, I realized that he was talking about me. And in the middle of that whole speech, he pulled out a cross. It's called a (speaking Danish) in Danish, which translates to something like a riding cross. It involves, like, horses and swords and that kind of stuff. And then I stood up, and he put it on me. And I was a knight. There was no sword involved. And there was no...
SAGAL: Oh, damn it.
ULRICH: And there was no kneeling involved, thankfully. But Denmark is a very informal country. And so it was done as informal as Danish traditions are. But yes, it's a true story.
SAGAL: Well, what is...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: So...
BURBANE: Wait until you find out you're only the 10th-best knight on your street.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, Lars Ulrich, we are delighted to talk to you. We have invited you to play a game we're calling...
KURTIS: You want to put your hand up where?
SAGAL: So...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: OK. Metallica is known, among other things, for their celebrated album, "Master Of Puppets," so we thought we'd ask you some questions about your colleagues' other puppet masters.
ULRICH: OK.
SAGAL: Answer two out of three questions, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Lars Ulrich playing for?
KURTIS: Tracy Walker (ph) of San Francisco, Calif.
ULRICH: Where's Tracy?
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: OK, Lars, here's your first question. Puppets can be really helpful, as in which of these? A, a company in Switzerland makes a life-sized parent puppet for new drivers who want to feel like there's still an adult in the car, B, Kansas City Chiefs safety Eric Berry, who was terrified of the team mascot, a horse, so he got used to it by practicing with a horse puppet, or C, to avoid exposing their officers, St. Louis police drive up to drug corners, crouching down, and they use puppets to make drug buys through the window.
(LAUGHTER)
ULRICH: So one of those three...
SAGAL: One of those is true.
ULRICH: One of those is true?
SAGAL: Helpful use of a puppet.
ULRICH: I'd go with A.
SAGAL: You're going with A, the life-sized parent puppet, so you can - even if you're just - even if you're driving on your own, you can still feel like Mom or Dad is there?
ULRICH: Yeah. Well, that's good for the carpool lane, also.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That is true, yeah.
ULRICH: I don't think it's true.
SAGAL: Why don't you think it's true?
ULRICH: Because of your reaction. You went, you're going to go with that?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Oh.
ULRICH: What do you guys think?
UNIDENTIFIED CROWD: B.
ULRICH: I'm going to have to stick with A, because I don't want to go back on what I said. So I'll go with A.
SAGAL: And the answer is B, in fact, the one that you just missed.
ULRICH: What?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: They were right.
ULRICH: Jesus.
SAGAL: It's true.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Football player Eric Berry suffers from equinophobia, an irrational fear of horses, and among the many things he has done to try to accustom himself is to talk to a little horse puppet. It is absolutely cute. You can see it online.
ULRICH: Are you guys not supposed to help me?
MO ROCCA: We tried. We tried.
(LAUGHTER)
ULRICH: OK.
SAGAL: OK, next question. Puppets have played a role in politics as in which of these? A, to answer charges that he was a puppet of the Koch brothers, Congressman Ron Estes ran a commercial with a puppet and the slogan, hey, puppets can be great, B, in order to do two public appearances in one night, California Governor Jerry Brown sent a puppet of himself to the other venue to lip sync a live feed of his remarks...
(LAUGHTER)
ULRICH: It's not that.
SAGAL: ...Or C, in 2010, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer used a singing frog puppet to sing the praises of her Show Us Your Papers anti-immigration law.
ULRICH: Oh, so it would have to be A or C, right? C, is that what - should we go C? What do you guys think? C?
UNIDENTIFIED CROWD: C.
HELEN HONG: Oh, they're split.
ULRICH: It's...
HONG: Go with your gut, Lars.
ULRICH: My gut says C.
SAGAL: It is, in fact, C.
(APPLAUSE)
ULRICH: Thank you very much. Thank you.
SAGAL: In response to criticism that she was cracking down too harshly on immigrants, Governor Brewer had a puppet tell everybody it was just fine, really. Last question - if you get this, you win. Here we go.
ULRICH: OK.
SAGAL: Puppets have caused controversy when which of these happened? A, a ventriloquist dummy was arrested in Boston, but not the ventriloquist, on obscenity charges.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: B, a billboard for the puppet show "Avenue Q" in Colorado Springs was censored because of, quote, "puppet cleavage."
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Or C, Outback Steakhouse tried an anti-vegetarian ad campaign which featured a puppet called Cecil the Humorless Vegan.
(LAUGHTER)
ULRICH: So...
UNIDENTIFIED CROWD: B.
ULRICH: B? You look like you know. B - OK, there it is.
SAGAL: All right. You're going to go for B, puppet cleavage?
ULRICH: Absolutely, yeah.
SAGAL: You're right. It is the puppet cleavage.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Now, to be fair to the shocked people of Colorado Springs, the puppet was called Lucy the Slut, so...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right, Bill, how did Lars do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Two out of three.
ULRICH: All right, then.
SAGAL: You got it. Congratulations, Lars Ulrich. Lars Ulrich is the founder and drummer of Metallica. Lars Ulrich is hardwired to self-destruct (inaudible). Lars Ulrich, thank you for being here on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME! Lars Ulrich.
Now, a few years later, in 2019, we were back at our home theater in Chicago when we were joined by someone else coming home to Chicago, "Saturday Night Live" star Aidy Bryant, who had come up in the Chicago comedy scene.
KURTIS: But Peter asked her about an even earlier experience back at Arizona, where she grew up.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)
SAGAL: You were doing comedy, like, as an improv when you were growing up in Phoenix, right?
AIDY BRYANT: Yeah, yeah. I did teen improv, which you know you want to see.
SAGAL: Oh, God. Oh, God.
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: Can I ask, what was the name of your improv group in Phoenix?
(LAUGHTER)
BRYANT: Oh, my - I've been in so many dumb improv teams I can't even - Drop-In Science (ph), Hunter Family Crest, Virgin Daiquiri - what else?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Keep going.
BRYANT: OK. Baby Wants Candy.
(LAUGHTER)
BRYANT: I mean, I used to sit in with Carl and the Passions sometimes. I mean, I've done my time.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Did you come to Chicago specifically to do sketch comedy?
BRYANT: Yeah. Yeah. I knew about Second City and iO, and I wanted to get involved. So...
SAGAL: Yeah. And you did, which is kind of amazing.
BRYANT: Yeah.
SAGAL: Right. I mean, because a lot of people come to Chicago to try to make it on the main stage of Second City. And they never do. And you did.
BRYANT: Oh, my goodness. Is this my birthday?
SAGAL: It really is.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It's like, welcome to the show we're calling Wait Wait... You're Actually All Right.
(LAUGHTER)
BRYANT: I need this.
SAGAL: You're fine.
ROCCA: Well, I have I have to say that when I checked into my hotel room today, you were right there.
NEGIN FARSAD: Yeah.
BRYANT: Well, that's nasty.
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: She's on the cover of Michigan Avenue magazine.
BRYANT: Oh. Well, I always wait for men in their hotel rooms.
(LAUGHTER)
BRYANT: I think that's cool in a #MeToo era, you know?
SAGAL: Well, what was it - 'cause, I mean, a lot of times we hear about the people who came out of Chicago and go to "Saturday Night Live" and elsewhere. But what was it like when you were just, like, you know, working in the streets as a comedy...
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: Working the streets.
FARSAD: Wow.
ROCCA: First, she's in hotel rooms. Now she's working the streets.
FARSAD: Lord.
ADAM BURKE: The streets - I know.
SAGAL: She wasn't busking as a - she wasn't walking down, going, hey, can I get a suggestion?
SAGAL: Yeah.
BRYANT: Oh, my gosh.
SAGAL: You're standing in the corner of Michigan and Randolph going, somebody name an occupation.
BRYANT: Absolutely.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So you went off to New York, like a lot of Chicago comedians do. And you auditioned for "Saturday Night Live" - ditto. But you got cast, which is rarer. People talk about the "Saturday Night Live" audition - that you have to come in with a character.
BRYANT: Yeah.
SAGAL: Did you do that?
BRYANT: I did, yeah. They told us, you know, five minutes, a couple original characters, a couple impressions. So that's kind of what I did.
SAGAL: Yeah. Can you tell us what you did?
BRYANT: I did Adele, and I did Ethel Merman, which was very topical.
SAGAL: Oh, yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: Wait. That - I'm not going to ask you to do it, but what did you do for your Ethel Merman?
BRYANT: I said, this is Ethel Merman on the TV show "My Dog Ate What?"
(LAUGHTER)
BRYANT: And then I sort of screamed in an Ethel Merman voice, like, my dog ate what? And that was what got me to "Saturday Night Live."
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
ROCCA: That gives me so much more - even more respect for the show. I love that.
SAGAL: Is there somebody who you actually love to impersonate on the show, like, your favorite?
BRYANT: Oh, my gosh. Well, I loved doing Elton John, and I loved Wynonna Judd. Those are two of my faves.
SAGAL: We've had Wynonna on the show. She's a colorful person.
BRYANT: Oh, she's fantastic. And fun fact - my Wynonna Judd and my Sarah Huckabee Sanders are almost exactly the same.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, Aidy Bryant, we're delighted to have you here, but we have asked you here today to play a game that, this time, we are calling...
CHIOKE I'ANSON, BYLINE: Aidy Bryant, meet the '80s Brians.
(LAUGHTER)
BRYANT: Uh-oh.
SAGAL: You're too young to remember, but way back when, we had a decade called the '80s, and it was filled with wondrous and amazing people, all of whom were named Brian. We're going to ask you three questions about '80s Brians. Get two right, you'll win a prize for one of our listeners.
BRYANT: OK.
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: Wait. Can I ask one thing beforehand?
SAGAL: Yes, please.
ROCCA: Not to put you on the spot, but could you give at least one of the answers in the Ethel Merman voice?
(LAUGHTER)
BRYANT: Wow. OK.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: All right. Don't tell us you're going to do it.
ROCCA: Don't tell us. Just come right out. Just do it.
(LAUGHTER)
BRYANT: I love that.
SAGAL: Chioke, who is Aidy Bryant playing for?
I'ANSON: Dan Martin (ph) of Boston, Mass.
SAGAL: All right. This is for him. First question - composer and producer Brian Eno produced some of the biggest hits of the 1980s. Which of these was among his most popular works? A - The main title theme for "Police Academy 8," "Bribe Me With A Spoon"...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...B - The startup sound for Windows 95...
ROCCA: Oh, wow.
SAGAL: ...Or the music and lyrics for a Hoover vacuum jingle?
BRYANT: C?
SAGAL: You're going to go for the Hoover vacuum jingle?
BRYANT: I guess.
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: I don't...
BURKE: That can't B right.
BRYANT: Really?
BURKE: And it can't B...
(LAUGHTER)
BURKE: It can't - imagine that could B the...
(CROSSTALK)
BRYANT: Well, OK. Guess what? (Imitating Ethel Merman) B.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Yes.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: You're right. Ethel is right. You're right. You're all right.
BRYANT: I can't believe I had to bring out the Ethel Merman that...
SAGAL: I know. It was - Brian Eno was paid $30,000 to write the sound that the Windows 95 started when you turned it on.
BRYANT: Brilliant.
SAGAL: There you are. All right - next question. Brian De Palma, director of the 1983 film "Scarface," was forced by the MPAA to make several cuts to get the film down from an X rating to get an R rating. After doing so, what did he do? A - a giant mound of cocaine...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...B - he put the deleted scenes back in because he figured no one would notice, or C - he sang the vocals in a Hoover vacuum jingle?
(LAUGHTER)
BRYANT: I mean, I - I'm realizing I don't like games.
(LAUGHTER)
BRYANT: You know, that's what it - I'd rather just read a book. I don't know. OK - A? I'm going to say...
SAGAL: You're gonna say...
BRYANT: ...It because I think it's the most fun.
SAGAL: He did a giant mound of - no, I'm afraid it was actually B. He just put all the cut scenes in back in the movie.
BRYANT: Of course.
SAGAL: Yeah, so...
BRYANT: I'm failing our friend in Boston.
SAGAL: No, you're not. You're not. Because if you get this last one right...
ROCCA: But she got it wrong because she didn't use the Ethel Merman voice.
BRYANT: I know.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That's true.
ROCCA: Just saying.
SAGAL: That may be a lesson.
BRYANT: OK.
SAGAL: All right. Last question - if you get this right, you win. The last question is about Brian Johnson. He was the lead singer of AC/DC, one of the great bands of the 1980s. On the same day he auditioned to be the lead singer of AC/DC on a day in 1980, just a few hours earlier, what was he doing? A - he was doing AC repair at DC Comics...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...B - he was doing dirty deeds, and he was doing them dirt cheap...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...Or C - he was singing the vocals in a Hoover vacuum jail?
(LAUGHTER)
BRYANT: I mean, if it's not C, I gotta be blasted to the moon.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So you're gonna go with C?
BRYANT: Yeah.
SAGAL: Does Ethel agree?
BRYANT: (Imitating Ethel Merman) Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Then, yes, it was, in fact, C.
ROCCA: Oh, yes. Yes.
(CHEERING)
BRYANT: Thank God.
SAGAL: Literally the day he successfully auditioned to be the lead singer of AC/DC, Brian Johnson went to a commercial studio, and he recorded this jingle for Hoover Vacuums.
(SOUNDBITE OF HOOVER VACUUM COMMERCIAL)
BRIAN JOHNSON: (Singing) When you have Power Compact from Hoover, it's a beautiful mover.
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: Yeah.
SAGAL: There you go.
(APPLAUSE)
BURKE: That's amazing.
FARSAD: Oh, my God.
BRYANT: That's hilarious.
FARSAD: Wow.
SAGAL: I know. Chioke, how did Aidy Bryant do on our quiz?
I'ANSON: Aidy is very funny, and she got 2 out of 3 right, making her a winner.
ROCCA: It's all (inaudible).
SAGAL: Congratulations (laughter).
(APPLAUSE)
BRYANT: Thank you. Thank you.
SAGAL: Aidy Bryant is the star of "Shrill" on Hulu. You can also see her on "Saturday Night Live." Aidy Bryant, thank you so much for being with us.
(APPLAUSE)
BRYANT: My pleasure.
SAGAL: What a pleasure to meet you.
BRYANT: Thank you, everybody.
SAGAL: Aidy Bryant, everybody.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. And here is your host, who doesn't understand why people don't like it when he uses a rotisserie oven for even tanning, Peter Sagal.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thanks, Bill. You know what's really great? - when really interesting famous people come on by to chat.
KURTIS: I know, Peter. For example, here I am.
SAGAL: And I'm grateful. But it's also fun to talk to people like, say, actor and singer Alan Cumming, who came by our theater in Chicago in December 2016. I asked him, out of his many roles what he was best known for.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)
ALAN CUMMING: Oh, it's so hard to tell. I used to sort of gauge people when they've come up to me by their age or their - you know...
SAGAL: Yeah.
CUMMING: ...Some sort of demographic. But now I can't even tell. It's really amazing. Like, it'll be some little kid will come up and go, I love you on "Masterpiece Mystery." And then some old granny will come up and say, I loved you in - you know, "X-Men." It's just so difficult.
SAGAL: Yeah. You've done all these extraordinarily different movies - everything from "Eyes Wide Shut" to "Viva Rock Vegas."
CUMMING: That's right.
SAGAL: Yeah. Do you have a rule by how you pick roles?
CUMMING: Obviously not, if you look at my (inaudible).
SAGAL: (Laughter) "The Flintstones In Viva Rock Vegas" - that was just for the aesthetic challenge, I'm sure.
CUMMING: Totally. I'd always wanted to - you know, I'm a Fred Flintstone fanatic. So I wanted to get dressed up in a green outfit and be suspended (laughter) in wires for weeks on end.
SAGAL: And the check cleared, I'm sure.
CUMMING: Yes, definitely.
BURBANE: But it weighed 200 pounds, and it was made out of stone.
CUMMING: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: We were looking through your resume. We found some things I had never heard of. You hosted a talk show with your dogs?
CUMMING: So it wasn't really a talk show. It was called "Midnight Snack." What I did was I would introduce a film, and my dogs would be there on the set with me. And my dogs would kind of grade the film.
SAGAL: How would they - how did they indicate their opinion of the film?
CUMMING: Well, Honey - she was the bigger dog - she would do two paws up or two paws down.
SAGAL: Sure.
(LAUGHTER)
CUMMING: And sometimes four paws up...
SAGAL: Yeah.
CUMMING: ...If she really liked the film.
ADAM FELBER: Wow. That's enthusiastic.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
CUMMING: And then my Chihuahua, Leon. And what we eventually ended up doing was he would howl if he liked it.
SAGAL: Yeah.
CUMMING: That was the gag.
BURBANE: You know, that was also how Siskel and Ebert used to review movies in the...
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANE: ...Very early days.
SAGAL: Yeah.
FELBER: Yeah.
SAGAL: Now you are touring with your own cabaret show called...
CUMMING: Yes.
SAGAL: ..."Alan Cumming Sings Sappy Songs."
CUMMING: Correct.
SAGAL: I got the record. You have a record of the show...
CUMMING: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...Or a version of the show. I was like, oh, sappy songs. I like sappy songs. One of the great things about the record - and I'm assuming this is true of the live show as well - is the stories you tell. Like, there's one about a tattoo that I found quite amazing.
CUMMING: OK.
(LAUGHTER)
CUMMING: So I - so 16 years ago, I met this boy. And we start - we, you know, became a couple. And after - and it was a very intense, crazy relationship, really stupid - and after - so much so that after two weeks of knowing each other, we had our names tattooed on each other's bodies, on our groins.
SAGAL: Right.
CUMMING: And then four months after that, we'd split up. It was a 4.5-month relationship. And...
(LAUGHTER)
CUMMING: ...I had - his name was Raven. And I was going to change it to, like, ravenous...
(LAUGHTER)
CUMMING: ...Or Traven (ph). But then - so anyway - but then I didn't. So I had it removed in a very, very painful and...
SAGAL: Yeah.
CUMMING: ...With a laser - you know, tattoo removal thing because basically when I started, you know, going into - getting to the dating game again...
FELBER: Yeah.
CUMMING: ...It became very embarrassing when people would be in that area and they would be like, who's Raven?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Yeah. I mean, did - so there you are. You meet somebody. Things are going well. You think it's going to proceed to the next step. And do you start thinking to yourself, OK, I need to warn this person?
CUMMING: Well, like, then - when I had the tattoo...
SAGAL: Yeah, when you had the tattoo.
CUMMING: Obviously, what - I was like, you know, if you're going down there, I should say something.
(LAUGHTER)
CUMMING: That there's a strange word very near where you're going to be busy.
BURBANE: Do you know what became of Raven's tattoo?
CUMMING: I do. That's the punchline to the story.
BURBANE: Oh, OK.
SAGAL: Yes, please.
CUMMING: So, actually, Raven is coming. He lives in Cleveland. And I'm doing a concert there on Sunday evening.
SAGAL: Oh, wow.
(LAUGHTER)
CUMMING: And Raven is going to be coming. And I'm really hoping he will come on stage and show us his tattoo because...
SAGAL: Is it in the same place that you...
CUMMING: Yes, exactly the same place. And so I got mine removed. And then we met up, you know, nine months later and had this kind of awkward evening. And he says to me, do you still have your tattoo? And I was like, no, I had it wrenched from my body by laser.
(LAUGHTER)
CUMMING: And then I said, do you still have yours? And he went, kinda. And right there where it used to say, Alan, it now says, balance (laughter).
(LAUGHTER)
FELBER: Nice.
HONG: Well done, Raven.
CUMMING: Yes, exactly. A for effort, again.
SAGAL: Well, Alan Cumming, we are so delighted to have you with us.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: We really are. And you know, everyone knows why. But we have, in fact, asked you here to play a game we're calling...
KURTIS: Bad Wife, Bad Wife.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So you, of course, starred in the TV series "The Good Wife," so naturally, we thought we'd ask you about bad wives. Get two right, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners - the voice of Carl Kasell. Bill, who is Alan Cumming playing for?
KURTIS: Sam Robinson of Mesa, Ariz.
SAGAL: All right. You ready to do this?
CUMMING: Mhmm (ph).
SAGAL: OK. You've done harder things. One thing that makes a bad wife might be attempted homicide. In 2015, a British woman failed in her attempt to murder her husband and then was caught - how? A - he attempted to assassinate her at exactly the same time, and they realized they still had a lot in common.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: B - she faked a suicide note for him in which he said supposedly he wanted a death with dignity, but she misspelled it dignerty (ph). Or C - it turns out the website assassinsrus.org is not a real business.
(LAUGHTER)
CUMMING: I think B. I think this misspelling.
SAGAL: That's exactly right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: That's what...
CUMMING: Yay.
SAGAL: ...Happened.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: And the husband survived the poisoning attempt, and the police were investigating. And they actually said to her, would you just write the word dignity? And she wrote, dignerty.
CUMMING: Uh-oh.
SAGAL: And they were like, you're busted. All right. Another bad wife is Vicki Lowing of Australia. She showed her true wifely qualities when she did what to Mr. Lowing? A - she sold his kidney on the internet while he was still using it, B - attempted to kill him with a Vegemite overdose, or C - chose her beloved pet crocodile over him.
CUMMING: I think perhaps the kidney thing.
SAGAL: No, it was actually the crocodile.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: He said, I can't stand this crocodile - either he goes or I do. And she said, goodbye. I'm sticking with Scaly. All right. This is good. This is exciting.
CUMMING: Oh, it's a tie breaker in this situation.
SAGAL: I know it's a tie breaker. You can win it all with this one. So there was a Romanian woman who did not report her husband's death for two weeks. Why not? Was it A - she said, I enjoyed the quiet?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Was it B - it took that long, she maintained, for him to start smelling worse than he did when he was alive?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Or C - she was convinced he was faking it so he could sneak off with a mistress.
CUMMING: (Laughter) Gosh. I think we're going to go with A.
SAGAL: I'm sorry. It was actually C.
CUMMING: Rubbish.
SAGAL: I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
CUMMING: The mistress - she thought he was...
SAGAL: Yes, she actually...
CUMMING: ...Potentially dead for two weeks?
SAGAL: ...Convinced - she was convinced that he was trying to, like, somehow sneak off. So he sat there and just - she sat there and looked at the dead body for two weeks.
CUMMING: (Laughter).
SAGAL: And when he failed to move, she was like, all right.
CUMMING: Fair enough.
SAGAL: Yeah. Bill, how did Alan Cumming do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Alan, no one loses on this show.
CUMMING: Oh, good.
KURTIS: So you did great.
CUMMING: Oh...
KURTIS: One out of three.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Alan Cumming is on tour now performing songs from his new album. This weekend, he'll be at the Palladium in Carmel, Ind., and at Playhouse Square in Cleveland, where there will be an interesting reunion, or so we hope. Alan Cumming, thank you so much.
CUMMING: Thank you very much.
SAGAL: Alan Cumming, ladies and gentlemen.
(APPLAUSE, CHEERING)
CUMMING: Thank you.
SAGAL: Bravo.
SAGAL: Finally, in December 2015, we did our show at the Dolby Theater in Hollywood, the same place where they hold the Oscars.
KURTIS: And while we were disappointed no one walked on stage and slapped Peter, we did get to talk to actor Jeff Daniels. Peter asked him how he managed to have such a long career in Hollywood without ever leaving his hometown in Michigan.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)
JEFF DANIELS: You know, back then it was - there weren't a lot of people that weren't in Hollywood or New York. But we had a kid, and we were going to have some more, and I didn't know how to raise kids in Hollywood. I just - I didn't understand how to do that, so...
PAULA POUNDSTONE: It can't be done.
SAGAL: No. Well, generally...
DANIELS: I'd heard, and people can do it, but I - we didn't know how. So we said, why don't we just move back - we're both from Michigan. Let's go back there and just use the airport. And that's what I did. It was a bit of a gamble, but I did it.
SAGAL: And did anybody say back then, just when you were getting started, they said, Daniels, if you don't move to LA, your career is going to go nowhere? You're going to do small theater in a place in Michigan.
DANIELS: Well, they did say that if you have an audition tomorrow at 2 o'clock. We expect you to be there.
SAGAL: And so how did you handle that?
DANIELS: I got on a plane.
SAGAL: Oh, yeah. As you say, they have those.
(LAUGHTER)
DANIELS: They had airplanes even back then.
SAGAL: Jeff, so I'm told you like to drive around in an RV. Is that right?
DANIELS: I am a member of that subculture, yes.
SAGAL: Really?
(LAUGHTER)
DANIELS: Yeah. So is Clarence Thomas.
SAGAL: Yeah, I know. Clarence - do you ever run into Clarence?
DANIELS: I saw Clarence Thomas at a Flying J truck stop in...
(LAUGHTER)
DANIELS: ...Fargo, N.D. I said, Clarence, what are you hauling?
SAGAL: I just imagine you guys would run into each other all the time, parked overnight at Walmarts. And...
DANIELS: I have done that on many occasions, and, you know, they want you to go in and buy 100 bucks worth of food, which...
POUNDSTONE: Don't get the meat.
DANIELS: Yeah. Don't get the meat.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I'm trying to imagine I'm in my RV.
DANIELS: Yeah.
SAGAL: I'm in Walmart somewhere.
DANIELS: First of all, do you own an RV?
SAGAL: No, I don't. This is hypothetical.
DANIELS: All right.
SAGAL: So I'm out there, and I'm in my RV. I get up in the morning. I walk out of my RV, and walking out of the next RV is Jeff Daniels. Does anybody ever look at you and go, wait a minute?
DANIELS: Where's Clarence Thomas?
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Now, back in the '90s, you were on the path of a serious actor, and then you starred in that classic heartbreaking drama, "Dumb And Dumber."
DANIELS: And that - there was a big to-do about that. You know, I was on the serious, important actor trail, and my three agents got on the phone, two in LA, one in New York, and two in the - and the two in LA said, OK, we're going to stop this. We're not going to do this. This is not going to happen. And you're going to - Jeff, to be honest, Jim Carrey - he's a brilliant comedic actor. He may wipe you off the screen. And I said, well, let's see. There's the snowball in the head, there's the tongue on the pole, and then there's the toilet. Jim's not in any of those scenes, so unless they cut him out, I'm probably going to score.
POUNDSTONE: You analyzed the script that carefully?
DANIELS: I would - I was with a friend, and I would read it, and I go, is this funny? And then I would read the tongue on the pole. He goes, yeah. Yeah, it's funny.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: OK.
DANIELS: I get to the toilet. I go, what about this? Is that funny? He goes, yeah, that's pretty funny.
POUNDSTONE: OK, now - was this at the truck stop?
(LAUGHTER)
DANIELS: It was in Clarence Thomas's RV.
(LAUGHTER)
FELBER: The guy likes that kind of humor.
SAGAL: So why did you want...
DANIELS: He was rolling on the floor. People don't know Clarence like RV'ers know Clarence.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And so somewhere, Aaron Sorkin - you know, wherever he was in the mid-'90s - saw that movie and said, that's the man who's going to be my voice, my mouthpiece someday.
DANIELS: Not sure that's how it went down, but let's go with that.
SAGAL: When you...
DANIELS: It certainly almost prevented me from playing Will McAvoy. Maybe that's it.
SAGAL: Now, I also understand you're a big theater guy, and you're going back to do a show called "Blackbird," if I'm right? This is a twisty little play, if I'm...
DANIELS: It's a tough, tough, tough, tough drama. And we did it off-Broadway. Alison Pill and I did it. It was the show to see.
SAGAL: Yeah.
DANIELS: We were there about 10 weeks, and it was a subscription audience at the Manhattan Theater Club, which is a wonderful theater. But the subscribers, the subscribers - Nathan Lane, I think, called it screaming into the grave.
(LAUGHTER)
FELBER: They've had those subscriptions for quite a while.
DANIELS: Amy Sedaris said it sleeps 300.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: But you love this theater.
DANIELS: We were the show to see. No one could see it.
SAGAL: Jeff Daniels, we have asked you here to play a game we're calling...
KURTIS: Hey, Siri, Bite Me.
SAGAL: So you just starred in a movie called "Steve Jobs."
DANIELS: Yep.
SAGAL: So we thought we'd ask you about Steve's job - that is, three questions about people named Steve and what they do for a living.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Get two of the three right - you'll win a prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Jeff Daniels playing for?
KURTIS: Maximilian Miller (ph) from Redondo Beach, Calif.
FELBER: This is a very tough topic to be an expert on, isn't it?
DANIELS: It is. It is certainly not one I'm well-versed on, but go ahead.
SAGAL: Well, who knows? Maybe you'll know these guys. First up, Stephen Merryday. He's a judge in Florida, a federal judge. He once refused a lawyer's request to suspend a murder trial already in progress for what reason? A, because the defense lawyer needed time off to participate in an Ernest Hemingway lookalike contest; B, because that same defense lawyer suggested that the victim wasn't dead but just stunned, and they should wait a while; or C, because the prosecutor said that the dog ate his briefs.
(LAUGHTER)
DANIELS: I'm going to go with Hemingway.
SAGAL: You're right, sir.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: In his defense, the lawyer had already reserved the hotel room down in Key West where the conference was, the contest. And also, he really did look like Ernest Hemingway. So he had a chance at winning. All right. That's the first Steve's job. Second Steve's job - one of the most important jobs at Toyota is done by somebody named Steve. Who is Steve? Is it A, Steve is the guy who, after each car is designed, make sure it's boring enough to be a Toyota; B, Steve is the name of the walking dummy that strolls out in front of moving cars to test pedestrian safety; or C, Steve is a 7-year-old child they put in a clean minivan to see how long it takes him to wreck it?
DANIELS: I'm going to go with the dummy walking across the street.
SAGAL: You're right again.
(APPLAUSE)
FELBER: What?
POUNDSTONE: Wow.
SAGAL: He's good. Toyota is working on an automatic system to prevent hitting pedestrians, so they need a fake pedestrian to test it. So Steve is a dummy. He has no brain, of course, but right before each impact, he's heard to say, not again.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, this is interesting. You can go for perfect here, as I'm sure Will McAvoy would. Steve Gadlin of Evanston, Ill., got a $25,000 investment from venture capitalist Mark Cuban for Steve's innovative online business. What is it? Is it A, iwanttodrawacatforyou.com, where you pay Steve $10, and he draws a cat for you...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...B, InstaGraham Cracker, which for $9, you can instantly download a graham cracker using your 3D printer; or C, the Twitter Tracker - for $50 a week, he sends a man to your home to stand behind you and track how much time you waste on Twitter?
DANIELS: What was the first one?
SAGAL: It was iwanttodrawacatforyou.com.
DANIELS: Yeah, let's draw some cats.
SAGAL: That's right. Mark Cuban...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
POUNDSTONE: Wow, I love that.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...Gave Steve Gadlin $25,000 to set up iwanttodrawacatforyou.com. Bill, how did Jeff Daniels do on our quiz?
KURTIS: A rare 3-0 trifecta.
DANIELS: Yeah.
KURTIS: He won.
(APPLAUSE)
FELBER: Wow.
SAGAL: Well done. Jeff Daniels is starring in "Steve Jobs," out now. It might bring him back to the stage in February. Who knows? Jeff Daniels, thank you so much for joining us...
(APPLAUSE)
DANIELS: Thank you very much.
SAGAL: ...On WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME. Pleasure to have you.
DANIELS: Thank you, sir.
SAGAL: Thank you so much.
SAGAL: That's it for our So Nice To See You Again edition of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
Thanks to everybody you heard on this week's show, all of our panelists, all of our guests, of course, the amazing Bill Kurtis, and thanks to all of you out there for listening. I am Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week.
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