Chris Estrada plays Not My Job on NPR's "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!" Chris Estrada was working at a warehouse when he got the call that his show This Fool had been picked up. He knows about the ups and downs of comedy, but what does he know about April Fools' pranks?

'Wait Wait' for Sept. 3, 2022: With Not My Job guest Chris Estrada

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UNIDENTIFIED PERSON: The following program was taped before an audience of no one.


BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. Slap me on your funny pages. It's time to play with Billy Buddy, Bill Kurtis. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theatre at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Ill., Peter Segal.


Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. We've got a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to Chris Estrada, the comedian and star of his own show, "This Fool." He was working in a warehouse when he got the call that his show would be picked up on Hulu. So we are looking forward to asking him a question no other comedian really can answer. What's it like to have a job with health insurance?

But first, it's your turn to tell us what it's like to earn an honest living wherever you are. So give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now, let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi. You're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

CHARLIE DECANTER: Hi. This is Charlie Decanter (ph) calling from the (inaudible).

SEGAL: Wait a minute. Charlie Decanter - you're confident that's your last name?

DECANTER: Very confident. It's the wine bottle (inaudible).

SEGAL: Right. And do people have - all your life have people made jokes about, you know, letting you breathe?

DECANTER: Well, I'll tell you this (laughter). The funny thing is I have a sister who my dad unfortunately named Crystal. So you can imagine...



SEGAL: No, sir. That cannot be true.

DECANTER: I almost feel lucky I was named Charlie.

SEGAL: You realize this is NPR. You're not allowed to lie. That's a rule. You're telling me that you, Charlie Decanter, have a sister named Crystal?

DECANTER: Absolutely, positively 100%.

SEGAL: Wow. Well, welcome to the show, Charlie. Let me introduce you to our panel. First up, a correspondent for "CBS Sunday Morning" and host of the "Mobituaries" podcast. Season 3 premieres in October. It's Mo Rocca.


DECANTER: Hey, big fan.

MO ROCCA: Hi, Charlie. Thank you.

SEGAL: Next, her new book, "Tell Everyone On This Train I Love Them" is out now. It's Maeve Higgins.


DECANTER: Hi Maeve, love your stuff.

SEGAL: And making his debut on our panel, a standup comedian and staff writer at The Onion. Welcome, Skyler Higley.

DECANTER: Hey, Skyler. welcome.

SEGAL: Charlie, welcome the show. You're going to play Who's Bill This Time? Bill Kurtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win our prize - any voice from our show you might choose in your voicemail. Are you ready to play?

DECANTER: I'm pumped. Let's do it.

SEGAL: Let's do it. Now, here for your first quote is a big tennis star giving a definitive answer about whether or not this week marks her last tournament ever.

KURTIS: I think so. But who knows?

SEGAL: Who is retiring after an amazing career? Or maybe not?

DECANTER: That would potentially be or not potentially be Serena Williams.

SEGAL: That's right. Who knows? It could be. It could not be. After a 27-year career at the top of literally her game, she thought Father Time had caught up with her. But it turns out Father Time is just another one of those random men who say they could beat Serena Williams in tennis.


SEGAL: So the greatest tennis player of all time expected to go out with a loss at the first round of the U.S. Open. She's 40 years old, right? But she kept winning, so she kept having to play. It's the sports equivalent of not being able to leave because you're the only one in the office who can reboot the server.


ROCCA: I want to be really inspired by her age. And I go, wow, go, she's 40. And then I go, wait. I was already 13 when she was born.

SEGAL: I know.

ROCCA: She's too old for a tennis player.

SEGAL: I know. Yes, it's very terrifying.

SKYLER HIGLEY: I didn't want to be one of those guys, but I am confident that I could beat Serena in Mario Tennis, so...


HIGLEY: Sorry, I'll say it.

SEGAL: You're going to say it, you know. She doesn't look that good.

HIGLEY: I play as Waluigi, and I kill.

SEGAL: Maeve, are you, in fact, are you a tennis fan?

HIGGINS: Yeah. I mean, I saw her doing an interview. And the interviewer was like, are you surprised that, like, how hard you've come out, and, like, how well you're doing? And there was just this long pause. And she was like, well, I am Serena (laughter). It was just so perfect. And even the interviewer was like, yeah, I'm sorry, what a crazy question.

SEGAL: She's literally the Serena Williams of tennis.

SEGAL: Everybody is asking, what is Serena going to do next after her domination of her sport? Well, it's obvious. She's a retired person who likes tennis. She's going to start playing pickleball.

SEGAL: All right. Here's your next quote.


KURTIS: They threw the documents haphazardly all over the floor. Lucky I declassified them.

SEGAL: That was someone complaining about a photo the FBI released of a bunch of top secret documents. Who was upset about the mess?

DECANTER: Would that be Donald Trump?

SEGAL: Yes, Donald Trump. The - yes, he got it right. You're applauding for him, just to be clear. So this is what happened. So ever since the raid, the DOJ has been accused of all kinds of things, including, like, planting evidence that Donald Trump had stolen secret government documents. So they said to the court, here is a photo of the evidence of his crimes spread out so you can see them. And Trump responded - all true - by complaining, no, I didn't leave them like that. I had the secrets it was illegal for me to have neatly boxed.

ROCCA: There's also a Time magazine thrown in there.

SEGAL: Yes. Yes. So what they did was they - so it was like this. If you haven't the picture, it's amazing. You can't see what's in them. They blocked it out. But they have the classification. So there's, like, top secret and so classified you wouldn't believe it. And if you read this, you will die in exactly seven days, right? And they were stored, apparently, by the former president with, like, framed Time magazine covers featuring him, like, the one named him Security Risk of the Year.

HIGGINS: That's so '90s to, like, care about Time.

SEGAL: I know. But he did. He had all those framed photos. But weirdly, nowhere in his entire residence did the FBI find any photos of Eric.

ROCCA: Wasn't there also in there supposed to be sex secrets about Macron?

SEGAL: Yeah, that's one of the rumors is that, you know, we've been given these very limited descriptions of what they found. And one of them was, like, classified information about the French president. Like, what could that be? Like, why would he want president? You know, he's like - maybe, knowing Trump, he, like, found out that he had some sort of young hot mistress, and he was looking for her phone number. We have no idea.

ROCCA: Well, I'm also like, you know, sex secrets of Macron are one thing. But can you imagine, like, trading - you're, like, offering the French in return sex secrets of Trump? Like, no, keep them.


HIGGINS: But they don't care about that anyway. French people would be, like, more embarrassed if there wasn't sex secrets.

SEGAL: That's true.

HIGGINS: They were like, surely there's something. I do accents, impressions, whatever, hire me. Bar mitzvah.

ROCCA: Here she is, boys. Here she is, girls. With her accents.

SEGAL: Charles, your last quote, Charlie, is from NPR.

KURTIS: Barking 9 to 5.

SEGAL: NPR was talking there about who's brand new line of clothing for dogs.

DECANTER: Is it Dolly Parton?

SEGAL: It is Dolly Parton. Yes. Dolly Parton has introduced a line of custom-designed clothing for your dog. Clearly, this is just reparations for all of those country songs where the dog dies. She has launched Doggy Parton, of course. You can't groan. It's Dolly Parton.

ROCCA: You're not allowed to by law.

SEGAL: It's a line of clothes for your dog. There are these rhinestone collars, fringe line doggie dresses, even a blonde wig. Makes sense after a career of beautiful music and generous philanthropy to branch out into humiliating other people's dogs.

HIGGINS: I think she should do doggie pardons for dogs who are like, you know, they're about to get euthanized because they did something really bad.

HIGLEY: Oh, Doggy Pardon. That is fantastic.

HIGGINS: And then the dog should plead their case to Dolly Parton.

ROCCA: Will they get their voting rights back?

SEGAL: Doesn't that mean, though, that in order to generate suspense, sometimes Dolly Parton would have to say no and condemn the dog?

HIGGINS: And she might actually be the one to do it - euthanizing, too. This is just an idea. But I really - that would be a lot higher stakes.

SEGAL: If you find yourself, by the way, going over to Dolly Parton's website and looking at items such as a harness that spells out spoiled in rhinestones in a dog size, maybe just have a kid already, OK?

HIGGINS: So does she make them for every dog, like, even like a big old butch dog?

ROCCA: Oh, yes. And she makes and she's very culturally sensitive. She makes a burka for the Afghans.


ROCCA: Not anymore. No. Well, now, actually, yes. Anyway, whatever. Hopefully not.

SEGAL: Bill, how did Charlie do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Mr. Decanter, have a drink on us. You got a perfect score.

SEGAL: Congratulations.

DECANTER: Great fun, you guys. Thank you.

SEGAL: Take care.


DOLLY PARTON: (Singing) Once I had a little dog. I called him Cracker Jack. He had a spot around one eye that looked just like a patch. His legs were way too long, and he was awkward as could be. He wouldn't much to look at, but he looked all right to me.


Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Mo, The Wall Street Journal reports that there's a growing tension between the old guard of labor organizers like Teamsters and the current generation that brought us the Amazon and Starbucks unions. What don't the old organizers like about the new ones?

ROCCA: Oh, that they just - that they never come to work.


ROCCA: That they give me a clue?


SAGAL: Come on, guys. You're here to build the catwalk, not walk the catwalk.

ROCCA: Oh, that they're too vain, that they're into their looks.



SAGAL: They're too stylish.

ROCCA: They're too stylish.


ROCCA: The stylish unions.

SAGAL: It's really gone crazy. The younger organizers in streetwear, you know, is one thing. But the giant inflatable rat wearing a Balenciaga gown? Just too much.


SAGAL: Chris Smalls, you remember him? He organized the Amazon Union. He even testified in front of Congress. He always looks good in part because of his great fashion sense but mostly because he buys his clothes anywhere but from Amazon.


SAGAL: And these old-school organizers, though, the old school guys, though...

ROCCA: Yeah.

SAGAL: ...They don't like it. According to the Journal, they - you know, they don't like the high tops and swanky hoodies. They don't get the approval of, like, Pipefitters Local 157 and Cranky Old Bastards 426.


ROCCA: If you can't see any butt crack, you're not a Teamster.

SAGAL: Exactly right.


ROCCA: Not old-fashioned, not old guard.

HIGGINS: I wonder why The Wall Street Journal would be publishing stories dividing labor organizations.

SAGAL: Really.


SAGAL: Their subtle plan...

HIGGINS: It makes no sense to me.

SAGAL: ...To destroy the modern labor movement.


SAGAL: Coming up, your last chance for summer fun awaits in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.

KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Skyler Higley, Mo Rocca and Maeve Higgins. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Ill., Peter Sagal.

SAGAL: Thank you, Bill.


SAGAL: Right now it's time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

MICHAEL: Hey. How's it going?

SAGAL: Not bad. Who's this?

MICHAEL: This is Michael calling from Nashville, Tenn.

SAGAL: Hey, Michael. What do you do there in Nashville?

MICHAEL: Shockingly enough, run an organic vegetable farm.

SAGAL: An organic vegetable farm?

HIGLEY: That's why he's so happy.

SAGAL: There you are.

HIGGINS: He's a rabbit.

SAGAL: Wow. And what do you grow on this farm?

MICHAEL: The truth be told, it's my lovely wife, Tanya, that runs the farm. But we grow everything under the sun.

SAGAL: And do you sell your produce? Are you a successful agricultural business?

MICHAEL: Again, as a successful married man, I'm going to once again deflect. It's my wife...

SAGAL: Right.

MICHAEL: ...Who professionally sells vegetables at a local farmers market, CSA, and that's enough money.

ROCCA: What do you do, then?

SAGAL: Yeah, so...

ROCCA: What do you do, then?

SAGAL: So you're basically the hype man for your wife here?

MICHAEL: That's exactly right. I plant the seed of hope in moments of despair.

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Michael. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Michael's topic?

KURTIS: Hot Fun in the Summertime.


SAGAL: Oh, summer. Easily one of the top four seasons and soon available all year round. But right now, it's only temporary. So our panelists are going to tell you about a new activity that you can still fit in before this summer is over. Pick the one who's telling the truth and win our prize, the WAIT WAITer of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play?

MICHAEL: I certainly am.

SAGAL: First, let's hear from Mo Rocca.

ROCCA: Raising Cane's is an American fast food joint specializing in tender, marinated chicken fingers. But you don't want to get your fingers caught in the bathroom door at their DeKalb, Ill., restaurant. That's because the men's room stall door at that location has been dubbed the loudest door on Earth. Since July, countless TikTok videos of the metal door slamming shut have been posted. And it is cellblock loud. Think "Orange Is The New Black." Orange, by the way, is the color of Raising Cane's tangy, super secret sauce that helps lock in the flavor on those chicken fingers. One video described the bathroom door sound as earth-shattering. Seriously, get your finger caught in there, and it will end up looking like one of Raising Cane's crinkle cut fries, center cut from grade-A potatoes, every batch cooked in our premium quality canola oil blend. It's not known how many thousands have made the trip just to hear the bathroom door slam. Then again, they could just be coming for Raising Cane's Texas toast...


ROCCA: ...Cooked to order from sesame-seeded pull-apart bread, brushed with our garlic blend before grilling on a flat top surface to create buttery perfection. Raising Cane's - flavor it, savor it.


SAGAL: A Raising Cane's franchise in DeKalb, Ill., features the loudest door in the world that people are actually flocking to hear. Your next story of summer fun comes from Maeve Higgins.

HIGGINS: Bored families across the country are filling their final summer days with visits to open houses that they have absolutely no intention of buying. Desperately wanting but not being able to afford property is a proud American tradition.


HIGGINS: Realtors complain about this - I can always tell when people are wasting my time because they look so happy when they see the pool. Only poor people get happy about stuff like that.


HIGGINS: After getting kicked out of her third open house, Atlanta's Yolanda Pippen (ph) began holding workshops to help other open house enthusiasts appear like they actually have the means to buy a place. She provides key phrases to them like, oh, only one wine fridge? And, but where's the au pair supposed to eat?


HIGGINS: And she warns them with don'ts that come from her own experience. Don't take a bath during the open house. Don't bring a first date and keep referring to the home as my other, crappier place. Attendees say the workshops have been helpful and fun, and realtors say she better stop, or they will sue.


SAGAL: Attend a workshop so you can enjoy yourself attending open houses for homes you can't afford. Your last story of something to do in the dog days of summer comes from Skyler Higley.

HIGLEY: If you're the type of person who thinks to themselves, kids these days don't enjoy watching small reptiles drift slowly down through the air until they gently reach the ground, possibly afraid but ultimately unharmed, that would be a very specific thought.


HIGLEY: But as it turns out, you would be incorrect, you stupid, stupid fool.


HIGLEY: A new TikTok trend has revealed more and more teens this summer have been participating in #turtlebombing, a prank that involves strapping a turtle into a small makeshift parachute and dropping it from an appropriate height to descend upon confused passersby below. To add to the bizarre nature of the prank, teens have started using rubber bands to attach strange messages to the turtles, such as, hark, the shellpocalypse has begun.


HIGLEY: Or, quote, "I was dropped by a stork, and now I'm your new son."


HIGLEY: Many have condemned this practice as cruel and dangerous. But surprisingly, PETA has voiced their support, stating that turtle bombing is, quote, "an incredible gift to the turtle community, allowing them to finally experience the miracle of flight."


SAGAL: All right. You're sitting around. You're desperate to have just a little bit more fun before summer ends. Well, it turns out you can do one of these popular things - either, from Mo Rocca, go and hear the loudest door ever in the bathroom of a chicken finger franchise in DeKalb, Ill., from Maeve Higgins, take a workshop that will allow you to go into an open house of expensive homes and act like you could own the place or from Skyler, hey, you know, grab a turtle, put a parachute on it, throw it off a high place. It's fun.


SAGAL: Which of these is the real summertime activity being enjoyed by somebody?

MICHAEL: I'm going to go with Mo on this one.


SAGAL: You're going to go with Mo's story of the loudest door ever that people are actually going to see at this place in DeKalb, Ill. Well, we spoke to somebody who has, in fact, enjoyed this very activity.

ETHAN MOCK: I opened the door all the way. I just let it close on its own. And just - it almost sounds like a gunshot.

SAGAL: That was Ethan Mock (ph). He's a student at Northern Illinois University near DeKalb, talking about the loudest bathroom door in the world. Congratulations, Michael. You got it right.


ROCCA: We're not going to hear it? OK.

HIGGINS: Too loud.

SAGAL: Now, we know that many of our listeners here and around the world just don't have the wherewithal to get to DeKalb, Ill., to hear this. So we have for you now the sound of the loudest door in the world.


SAGAL: That's a loud door.

HIGGINS: Yeah (laughter).


SAGAL: It's a loud door. All you need is the Instagram of yourself in front of it, and you're all set. Thank you, Michael, so much for playing.


MICHAEL: I'll cross it off my bucket list. Thank you, Peter.

SAGAL: Take care.

MICHAEL: Have a wonderful day.


SAGAL: And now the game where people who've hit it big do something small. It's called Not My Job. Chris Estrada was one of those guys who cracked up all his colleagues at work, so they all said, hey, man, you should go be a comedian. And he did, but unlike all the other dumb comedians, he didn't quit his day job, not until he got the call during his lunch break one day that the TV show he had created would be picked up. It's called "This Fool." It's on Hulu, and we are delighted to welcome its star now. Chris Estrada, welcome to WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.



SAGAL: You've actually worked this into your comedy bit, right? That's what happened. You were, like, working in a warehouse - right? - in LA where you grew up?

ESTRADA: Yeah, I - born and raised in LA. And I - you know, you do comedy for a lot of years before it ever pays you full time, and I had to have a real job. So I worked at the warehouse unloading trucks. The way I would pass time and not make the job so soul-sucking is I would go up to my workers and say, hey, don't tell anyone, but I'm with "Undercover Boss."


SAGAL: And is it true that, you know, you started doing clubs, and you had been doing comedy, and you'd been sort of rising in the world and you pitched this show, and the story is that you were on your lunch break when you got a phone call saying Fred Armisen, the well-known comedian writer, was going to produce your show?

ESTRADA: Yeah. So basically, we reached out to him, and I - and then they - a week later, they were like, can you schedule to talk to him? And I was like, well, I still have a job. So I just talked to him during my lunch break, which was pretty surreal to be, like, wearing a back brace.


SAGAL: Have - since you have produced the show, which is now streaming on Hulu, in which you star, have you gone back to the warehouse and checked in with the guys to see if they've caught it yet?

ESTRADA: A few of them, oddly enough, have messaged me and told me, why the F didn't you tell us you were a comedian?

SAGAL: There you are.


SAGAL: Wow. And I also understand that you actually, unlike a lot of comics who got into it - some of them quite early in their teens. You got into it fairly late, right?

ESTRADA: Yeah. I was meandering a lot in life, and it wasn't until I was 29 that I started comedy. So it was this weird situation where I was doing stand-up - I was 29 and, like, everybody around me was either, like, 19, 20, 21. So I felt like such an old man.

SAGAL: Yeah, I mean, it's funny. I mean, you say to yourself, man, you know, things aren't going well. My life has no meaning. I know what would be great - strangers hating me.


ESTRADA: You know, what's so funny is one time, I remember my first year of stand-up comedy. I was at an open mic and there was this older man who was watching. And then a few minutes later, I look at him, and he's watching something on his laptop.

SAGAL: Oh, man.

ESTRADA: And out of curiosity, I went behind him to see what he was watching. He was watching an Amy Schumer comedy special.



SAGAL: I both am horrified - I'm horrified for you and the other comics, but I kind of admire him. He's like...

ESTRADA: I admire him because I - he probably saw us and was like, I like this, but I want to see the good version.


ROCCA: That's amazing.

HIGGINS: He went out to watch comedy.

ESTRADA: Yeah, he went to - yeah, he was just like, yeah, enough of this. I want to see somebody who gets paid to do this.

SAGAL: Exactly. So one of the things I was thinking about is you are now in a line of comedians who are doing a show which is, in your case, more loosely than not based on your own life. And, like, probably the preeminent example of that is Jerry Seinfeld, right? And I understand...

ESTRADA: Yeah, Jerry Seinfeld, good old Ray Romano.

SAGAL: Yeah. Those guys. And I understand you actually ran into Seinfeld once, right?

ESTRADA: Oh, yeah. That was really funny. I was doing a show at the Hollywood Improv. And Jerry Seinfeld was playing in the main room. I didn't know this. But the challenge was for me to, like, go on stage and do my set, do comedy while playing the piano. And I don't know how to play the piano, but I just said, all right. And I - my friend who was hosting the show bumped into Jerry Seinfeld during my set and said, would you like to come and do a set on my show? And he said, yeah, absolutely. So he walked in, and during my set, I just started saying the most horrific dirty jokes I could think of that I - while playing the piano, and all my friends were laughing and everybody was laughing, and I thought they were laughing at me. I thought I crossed some threshold where I was, like, being funny instead of saying funny things. I was like, wow, I'm really getting - I'm really making everybody laugh. But what everybody was laughing at was Seinfeld was looking at me horrified at what I was doing.


SAGAL: He was just doing that sort of gaped-mouth look of shock he did half the time on his TV show, but he was doing it to you.

ESTRADA: Yeah. And I had no idea he was watching. So when I got off stage, I was like, wow, I made everybody laugh. I'm really - I'm getting to a new level of stand-up comedy. And then my friend - and as I was thinking that, my friend went on stage and he goes, everybody, we have a special guest. Give it up for Jerry Seinfeld. And I was like, oh, my God, did he see that? And then the first thing he said was, who was that guy? That was awful.


SAGAL: Really? Wait a minute. So you did a set of comedy, and then the next thing that happens is Jerry Seinfeld says, who was that guy? He was awful?

ESTRADA: Yes. Yeah, it was amazing. I was - it was - you know, it's a better story than him coming up to me and going, that was OK.

SAGAL: True.

ROCCA: You should...

SAGAL: If you're going to have a disaster, do it.

ROCCA: You should have sat down in the front row, flipped open your laptop and started watching Ray Romano.

SAGAL: Exactly.


SAGAL: That'll show him. Well, Chris Estrada, we are delighted to talk to you. We have asked you here to play a game we're calling...

KURTIS: This Fool Meet April Fool.

SAGAL: So you were the creator of the show, "This Fool." We thought we'd ask you about April Fools' pranks. That's your topic. Answer two out of three questions about the holiday we all hoped would die during the pandemic - but it didn't - and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Chris Estrada playing for?

KURTIS: Pam Hudson of Cleveland, Ohio.

SAGAL: All right, Chris. Ready to do this?

ESTRADA: A walk through, man.

SAGAL: Some people in - historically in April Fools' have not thought through their pranks before they did them, such as which of these? A, Compaq Computers once had all their devices display the message, I am in charge now, human, resulting in hundreds of machines being destroyed with hammers; B, the McDonald's company announced a fake, pay what you will, menu, and 18 restaurants ended up being burned by angry rioters...


SAGAL: ...Or C, a British deejay said listeners could go see a replica of the Titanic off shore from a particular cliff, and so many people showed up, the cliff fell into the sea.

ESTRADA: Whoa, Jesus. I'm - you know what? I'm going to say it was the Apple computer thing because I think computer programmers are vicious people.

SAGAL: Really? No, it was actually C. It was the cliff. You'll be happy to know, though, the strain on the cliff was significant, but it didn't fall until the next day, when nobody was on it. So nobody was hurt.

ESTRADA: Oh, that one. That really - you know what? I thought it was going to be that one, but I didn't want it to be true.

SAGAL: Right. Because you're a humanitarian. You didn't want all those people...


SAGAL: ...To be hurt. If I had mentioned that, you would have picked it. All right. You still have two more chances. For April Fools' In 1971, Texas State Representative Tom Moore wanted to prove that none of his colleagues read the bills they voted on, which led to the Texas State Legislature passing what? A, a bill commending the Boston Strangler for his work aiding population control; B, a bill saying that all the legislators would work for free, henceforth; or C, a change in the Texas Slate slogan to, yeah, come mess with Texas. It's cool?

ESTRADA: Oh, wow. I'm - it's crazy, But I'm going to say A...

SAGAL: You're right.

ESTRADA: ...Boston Strangler.

SAGAL: That's what he did. The Texas legislature passed a commendation for the serial killer known as the Boston Strangler. All right. You get this last one right, you win. Sometimes fake products that companies make up for April Fools' become real, due to customers wanting them. So which of these became a real product? A, a Hot Wheels Wonder Woman's invisible jet toy, which really was just an empty case; B, Spam whiz, which is just like Cheez Whiz, but when you press down the thing, Spam comes...

SAGAL: ...Out; or C, the Chrysler PT Cruiser, "Star Wars" edition?

ESTRADA: Oh, wow. I got to say - wow, this is a hard one.

SAGAL: Yeah.

ESTRADA: Because PT Cruisers kind of look like stormtroopers. I - I'm going to say the Hot Wheels.

SAGAL: You're right again. That's what it was. They put out - they said, oh, we're introducing these Wonder Woman invisible jet. And it was just like, a cardboard thing with an empty, plastic case. And people were like, we want that. So they started making them.

ESTRADA: Nice. I got you, man.

SAGAL: You do, man. Bill, how did Chris Estrada do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He did very well. He won this game.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Chris.

ESTRADA: Thank you.

SAGAL: Chris Estrada is the creator and star of "This Fool." The first season is streaming now on Hulu. Chris Estrada, thank you so much for joining us on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

ESTRADA: Thank you for having me.


UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #1: (Singing) April Fools', April Fools', April Fools', April Fools'. In an April dream.

SAGAL: In just a minute, Looking for emotional support in all the wrong places, In our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.


KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Mo Rocca, Skylar Higley and Maeve Higgins. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Ill., Peter Sagal.


SAGAL: Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill gets a big prime-motion (ph) in our Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Mo, the British grocery store Sainsbury's, like many others - it's constantly throwing out food because it is expired. It's after its expiration date. So to solve this wasteful practice, they're going to do what?

ROCCA: They're going to move the expiration date.

SAGAL: Well, if by move you said remove, you're right.


SAGAL: They're taking off the expiration date labels. They're going to remove the, you know, best-before stickers from 276 of their products, presumably replacing them with stickers that say, yeah, it's probably fine.

HIGGINS: Smell it first.

SAGAL: You enjoyed Greek yogurt? Well, you're going to love ancient Greek yogurt.


ROCCA: Roman meal bread...

SAGAL: Right.

ROCCA: ...Will really be...

KURTIS: (Laughter).

ROCCA: ...From Rome.

SAGAL: Even better, Instacart says you're now allowed to ask your delivery driver to come inside and - smell this, is this all right?


HIGGINS: But yeah, best before, it just means, like, it's best. It doesn't mean that you can't...

HIGLEY: You can't eat.

HIGGINS: ...You're not allowed.

HIGLEY: Yeah, yeah.

SAGAL: Right, exactly.

HIGLEY: I take stuff way after the expiration date, so it's fine.

SAGAL: Right.

HIGLEY: I mean, I get sick, but it's fine.

SAGAL: Yeah, no (ph).


SAGAL: Mo, we all know about TikTok fads - the ice bucket challenge, the get out challenge, the planking challenge, the milk crate challenge. Well, the latest fun activity the cool kids are filming themselves doing is what?

ROCCA: It is - I mean, we've - you talked about milk crates. Give me a clue.

SAGAL: I'll give you a clue. It's also called the hot-wire challenge.

ROCCA: Oh, it's the one about - it's a Korean car. It's not a Hyundai. It's the other one.

SAGAL: It's actually...

ROCCA: It's...

SAGAL: It's good enough 'cause they're made by Hyundai. It's the Kia challenge.

ROCCA: The Kia challenge.


SAGAL: It's actually called - what they're doing is they're filming themselves stealing cars.

HIGLEY: (Laughter).

ROCCA: Yeah, it's terrible.

SAGAL: Yes. That's the latest fun activity...

ROCCA: It's - yes. The Kia challenge.

SAGAL: ...Your kids are up to...

ROCCA: Yeah.

SAGAL: ...While you're here.


HIGLEY: You could just play Grand Theft Auto. You don't have to...

SAGAL: You could do that. No, no, no, no, no.

HIGLEY: ...Do Grand Theft Auto.

ROCCA: And also...

SAGAL: You - apparently, you do.

ROCCA: I mean, forgive me, but a Kia? Is it really worth it?

SAGAL: Well, here's the thing...


SAGAL: The Kia Boyz challenge, it's the newest TikTok fad. Teenagers film themselves stealing a Kia or a Hyundai. Then, they joyride in them until they crash into telephone poles. It seems awful, but they are stealing cars to support ALS research.


HIGLEY: That one's a lot better than the one that they were doing before, the manslaughter challenge.

SAGAL: That was terrible.

HIGLEY: That was not...

SAGAL: That was really bad.


HIGLEY: That was really not cool.

SAGAL: No, the challenge takes advantage of a design flaw in Hyundai and Kia cars. You can steal basically by using a $2 USB cable to turn the ignition.

HIGLEY: I can't believe you just told the whole NPR audience...

SAGAL: I know.

HIGLEY: ...How to steal a Kia.

SAGAL: I did.


SAGAL: Nothing is going to happen.


SAGAL: If I were to tell them...


SAGAL: If I were tell them how to hot-wire a Prius, a crime wave would spread across the nation.


SAGAL: Skyler, this week the BBC's Middle Eastern correspondent Quentin Sommerville confirmed that while reporting from Afghanistan, he inadvertently did what on live TV?

HIGLEY: Ooh. Restarted the war in Afghanistan.

SAGAL: Oh, no.


HIGLEY: He inadvertently - what's the hint?

SAGAL: He followed up this report with a report on the munchies.

HIGLEY: Oh, he - oh, he inadvertently smoked crack.


ROCCA: My God. That went from zero to 60.

SAGAL: Yeah.


SAGAL: Close enough. He did inadvertently get high.

HIGLEY: Oh, yeah.


SAGAL: What happened was he was doing - this is all true. This happened in 2014, but he confirmed it happened this week. So he's in Afghanistan in 2014, and he's reporting on their then-campaign to end the opium trade. And they are burning a whole bunch of opium poppies, right?


SAGAL: And he happens to stand downwind while he's doing the live report. Now we have some tape. Listen for the subtle clue he might be under the influence.


QUENTIN SOMMERVILLE: Burning behind me is eight and a half tons of heroin, opium, hashish and other narcotics.


HIGGINS: At first, I thought, like, oh, he's just Scottish.

SAGAL: Yeah. No, no, no.

HIGGINS: But then, it's...

SAGAL: We are sophisticated enough over here in the New World to understand the difference between Scottish and high. Just saying


AFROMAN: (Singing) I was going to clean my room until I got high. Ooh. I was going to get up and find the broom, but then, I got high. (Vocalizing). My room is still messed up, and I know why. Why, man? Yeah. 'Cause I got high, because I got high, because I got high. (Vocalizing).

SAGAL: Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924, or click the contact us link on the website - Also, come see us live most weeks right here at the beautiful Studebaker Theater in Chicago, and see the WAIT WAIT standup tour. You can see your favorite comedians from WAIT WAIT in Dallas, Eugene, Ore., Portland, Ore., Kalamazoo, Mich., and more. Tickets and info at Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

SONNY: Hi. This is Sonny from Chicago, Ill.

SAGAL: Hey, Sonny, how are you?

SONNY: Doing all right. How are you doing?

SAGAL: What do you do here in the greatest city on the planet?

SONNY: I do logistics for a merchandise company.

SAGAL: What's the oddest bit of merch you guys have ever produced?

SONNY: We do a lot of stuff. I mean, we do OnlyFans, Smirnoff and Justin Bieber.

SAGAL: Dare I ask, what kind of merchandise do OnlyFans performers produce for their fans?

SONNY: It's pretty vanilla stuff.


SAGAL: All right. So it comes in flavors. All right. I don't really want to know any more. Thank you. That's it. I can just imagine the rest. Sonny, welcome to the show. You're going to play the game in which you are going to have to complete two out of three news-related limericks. Bill Kurtis, of course, will begin them. You have to finish them by filling in the last word or phrase. You ready to do this?

SONNY: Yes, I'm ready.

SAGAL: Here we go. Here's your first limerick.

KURTIS: Once the paper is flushed down the bowl, arts and crafts have to pay the hard toll. How can we soldier on now that cardboard is gone? They've removed the cute tube from the...

SONNY: Guys, I'm at a loss.

SAGAL: I know. It's hard. I'm just going to say it's hard when you're doing it and you're on the spot. It's everybody knows.

HIGGINS: This game is really hard, this whole thing.

SAGAL: It is. It's very difficult. A blank of paper?

ROCCA: Oh, my God.


SONNY: Roll.

SAGAL: Roll. Yes. You got it.


SAGAL: Apparently, to save paper, bathroom tissue brands are considering removing the cardboard tube from the middle of the roll. This is great for the environment, but causing panic among kindergarten teachers everywhere.


HIGGINS: And anybody who uses binoculars.

SAGAL: Exactly.


SAGAL: Here's your next limerick.

KURTIS: Charles Dickens, that overachiever found fault in the wines of Geneva, and he'd often bewail his slow Sunday mail, because the man was a bit of a...

SONNY: Overachiever.

SAGAL: No, we heard overachiever. That was the first word.

SAGAL: Sorry.

HIGGINS: Usually women get called this.

ROCCA: Oh, my God. That's terrible. We can't even use it.


SAGAL: Rhymes with overachiever, Geneva. He was a bit of a...

SONNY: Guys, I'm having a hard time here.

SAGAL: It's all right. Now - well, it's a hard one. We'll give it to you. It's diva - is a bit of a diva. Yeah, according to handwritten letters that were displayed for the first time this week, Charles Dickens, the famous writer, was a bit of a diva. I guess he had some expectations about himself that were a little too great.


SAGAL: In these new letters, he bitterly complains about an injustice, the ending of Sunday mail delivery to his hometown. Quote, "I beg to say that I most decidedly and strongly object to the infliction of any such inconvenience upon myself," unquote. That's Victorian English for don't you know who I am?


SAGAL: In another, he goes on and on, complaining about the cost of bread.

HIGLEY: Oh, Charlie's going off about the bread again.

SAGAL: Yeah.


SAGAL: Here's your last limerick. If you get this, you win.

KURTIS: Though his teeth just might frighten the waiter, my big reptile is a lover, not hater. He's an affable sort, and he gives me support. He's a registered, comforting...

SONNY: Alligator.

SAGAL: Yes. Gator. That's right.

KURTIS: Yes. Whoa.


SAGAL: Wally the emotional support alligator was adopted six years ago by a man who needs emotional support because of the sudden, unexpected loss of both his arms.


SAGAL: His owner takes Wally everywhere he goes, including they - sleeping in the same bed. That's true. And he assures you, just in case that Wally the 70-pound alligator is absolutely loving, he says, quote, "when he turns his nose toward you, that means he expects a kiss," which will make fabulous last words.


HIGGINS: I guess it is weird that he has him in the bed with him, but it's also, when it's so hot at nighttime, it would be nice to have, like, a cool reptile to lay with.

ROCCA: And alligators are probably cold, yeah?

SAGAL: Yeah.

ROCCA: They're probably cold.

HIGGINS: Yeah. They're cold.

HIGLEY: It's like a weighted blanket.



SAGAL: With rows and rows of teeth.

HIGLEY: Yeah. A gator skin weighted blanket.

ROCCA: Yeah. It's a good lovely green. Aren't they green? They come in green.

SAGAL: Yeah. Yeah - are they green?


ROCCA: I didn't know if - listen, I don't want to confuse real alligators with cartoon alligators.


SAGAL: I understand. That's very important.

HIGLEY: Right. Like, do they actually play the trumpet and walk down the street? Yeah.


HIGLEY: Bill, how did Sonny do on our quiz?

KURTIS: His two out of three means he's a winner. Sonny, go.


SAGAL: Congratulations, Sonny. Yay, you got it.

SONNY: Thank you.

SAGAL: Thanks so much. And we'll look for that merch, too. Take care. And now it is time for our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can - each correct answer now worth 2 points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

KURTIS: Mo and Skyler each have three, and Maeve has one.





SAGAL: All right, Maeve. You're in third place. You're up first.


SAGAL: The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank.

HIGGINS: Yeah, well, watch out, Peter.

SAGAL: Here we go.


SAGAL: Here we go, Maeve. On Wednesday, the FDA authorized a booster shot specifically targeting the blank variant.




SAGAL: The omicron variant of COVID. This week, the Secret Service recovered over $200 million in stolen blank.

HIGGINS: Donald Trump.



SAGAL: Pandemic loans. According to a new study, melting ice sheets in Greenland will raise blank by over a foot.

HIGGINS: The ocean.

SAGAL: Yes. Sea levels.


SAGAL: Yes, yes, yes, Maeve.

ROCCA: You almost had a perfect score.

SAGAL: This week, officials in Oregon announced...


SAGAL: ...They were finally changing the name of blank mountain.

HIGGINS: Mo's? Mo is motioning to me.



ROCCA: I thought it was (inaudible).



SAGAL: Hood.


SAGAL: No, Mount Hood is still called Mount Hood. However...

ROCCA: Oh, I thought Peter said (inaudible).

SAGAL: Swastika Mountain, however, has a new name.




SAGAL: The forthcoming name change is a real relief to local hikers who are getting tired of telling people, Swastika Mountain is really beautiful this time of year.

HIGGINS: Now where am I going to have my wedding?

SAGAL: If you're wondering about the name, the mountain is not, like, shaped like a swastika. But it was named for a local man who liked to brand swastikas on his cows. Cool. No further questions.


SAGAL: Bill, how did Maeve do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Those of us who are interested in following Maeve's career...


HIGGINS: Thank you.

KURTIS: ...Are happy to note she got one right.


SAGAL: I'll drink to that.

KURTIS: Which gives her two more, and she ties our other panelists with a total of three.

SAGAL: All right. I'm going to arbitrarily choose you, Skyler, to go next. So here we go. Fill in the blank. Due to heavy flooding, the drinking water system in blank failed, leaving the city without clean water.

HIGLEY: Jackson.

SAGAL: Mississippi.


SAGAL: On Tuesday, officials in North Korea confirmed that blank had tested positive for COVID.

HIGLEY: Donald Trump.

SAGAL: No, Kim Jong Un. After a woman in Japan called authorities about a loose monkey, a team arrived and quickly blanked.

HIGLEY: Ooh. Took - killed the monkey.

SAGAL: No, they accidentally shot the woman with a tranquilizer dart.



HIGLEY: That is so rude.

SAGAL: It is. On Thursday, three more cast members announced they would not be returning to the 48th season of blank.

HIGLEY: "Saturday Night Live."

SAGAL: Right.


SAGAL: And after 60 hours of competition...


SAGAL: ...A man in Montenegro this week was crowned the winner of the 12th annual blank championship.

HIGLEY: Hot dog eating.

SAGAL: No. After 60 hours of competition, he won the Lying Down Championship.


SAGAL: Before you say, hey, I could do that, listen to what the winner had to say. Quote, "it was not difficult."


SAGAL: The winner is named Zarko Pejanovic. He is proud of his achievements and used all his - the energy he had saved to - and this is true - beat up a reporter who said he was lazy.


SAGAL: Bill, how did Skyler do on that quiz?

KURTIS: Two right, 4 more points...


KURTIS: ...Total of seven.

SAGAL: So, Bill, how many does Mo need to win?

KURTIS: Three to win.

SAGAL: All right. Here we go, Mo. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. According to a new report, levels of blank hit a record high in 2021.

ROCCA: Carbon dioxide?

SAGAL: Yes, greenhouse gas.


SAGAL: This week, Democrat Mary Peltola beat out blank in a special election for Alaska's single House seat.

SAGAL: Sarah Palin.

SAGAL: Sarah Palin.

SAGAL: This week, former Soviet Union leader blank passed away at the age of 91.

ROCCA: Oh, the - with the jam stain on his forehead.


ROCCA: Gorbachev.

SAGAL: Gorbachev.


SAGAL: On Tuesday, Health officials in Texas reported the first U.S. death from blank.

ROCCA: Oh, monkeypox.



SAGAL: This week, a meteorologist in North Carolina who wanted to tell her viewers there'd be no rain on Wednesday put up a graphic that read blank.

ROCCA: No. It said something that was unexpected and humorous.


ROCCA: It said, the next round's on me.

SAGAL: No. No rain on Wednesday. She put up a graphic that said Dry Hump Day.



SAGAL: On Wednesday, NASA announced a new $1.5 billion contract with private space company blank.

ROCCA: Is that SpaceX?

SAGAL: It is. After years of demand, Twitter has finally introduced a button allowing users to blank.

ROCCA: Oh, to edit their tweets.



SAGAL: This week, the Los Angeles Office of Emergency Management accidentally sent out a message urging blank.

ROCCA: Protect yourself?

SAGAL: No. They sent out a message urging everyone in LA to evacuate immediately.


SAGAL: The emergency alert message interrupted TV broadcasts. It was frightening at first. Viewers quickly realized it was a mistake. But then people got excited because if everyone left all of Los Angeles, it might finally be possible to get an affordable place to live there. Bill, did Mo do well enough to win?

KURTIS: He got six right, 12 more points, total of of 15 - win.

SAGAL: Congratulations. Now, panel, what will be the next new celebrity product? Mo Rocca.

ROCCA: Crystal Gayle will sell crystal meth.


SAGAL: Maeve Higgins.

HIGGINS: Elon Musk will sell a perfume that repels women.


HIGGINS: Yeah, it's called Muskrat.


SAGAL: And Skyler Higley.

HIGLEY: It'll be Harry Belafonte's Belafonte Bites.


KURTIS: Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

SAGAL: Thanks to Bill Kurtis. Thanks also to Mo Rocca, Maeve Higgins and Skyler Higley. Thanks for a fabulous debut. Thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week.

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