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BRITTANY LUSE, HOST:
Hey, y'all. You're listening to IT'S BEEN A MINUTE from NPR. I'm Brittany Luse.
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LUSE: All right. We are in the final stretch of spooky season, and Halloween is peering its little jack-o-lantern head right around the corner. And to mark the occasion, we're doing a special creature feature on that most seductive, most mysterious and perhaps most human of monsters - the vampire.
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KENDRA R PARKER: Every age has the vampire it needs.
LUSE: That's Kendra R. Parker.
That is literally what I have been saying. I'm like, I feel like every era gets the vampire it deserves. Please say more about this actual theory, as opposed to my armchair theory.
PARKER: I think it depends on who's in power, right?
LUSE: Kendra teaches African American literature at Georgia Southern University, and her specialty is, of course, vampires - Black vampires, in particular.
PARKER: The vampire has long represented something that the people in the dominant culture fear. And it's - I don't think it's just a vampire. I think it's a monster in general.
LUSE: So I know vampires are like an entire pop culture world unto themselves, but I never cared about them one way or the other. "Twilight?" Yawn. "True Blood?" True bore. But now, I'm a changed woman. What converted me? The AMC reboot of "Interview With The Vampire."
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JACOB ANDERSON: (As Louis de Pointe du Lac) He was my murderer, my mentor, my lover and my maker - all of those things at once.
LUSE: Later on in today's show, I'll talk to the person who almost single-handedly got me into these bloodsuckers. We spoke with Jacob Anderson, the actor who plays Louis in the new iteration of "Interview With The Vampire."
PARKER: Real?
LUSE: And - yes, we did. We did. We did.
PARKER: Oh.
LUSE: He was great. Honestly, Kendra is absolutely right to be that excited. The show is good. And after 34 years of feeling very whatever about Dracula and friends, I finally get the whole vampire thing. But Kendra says, my first inclination - which is that vampires are pale and dead and kind of creepy - is not weird at all. And a quick heads up - there is frank talk about sex and sexuality in this conversation.
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PARKER: When we think about our vampires in the 21st century, like we think about them as sparkly and seductive and misunderstood and kind of loved, but that's not always been the case. When Dracula appeared in the 19th century, there was all of this fear. The English were preoccupied with borders, boundaries and nationalism. Between, like, 1881 and 1900, there was an increase in the number of non-English Jewish people. The English were so scared of them, right? There was this sort of xenophobia - this fear of Jewish people - this sort of threat of external colonization. And so these fears about the threatening outsider who's going to come in to disturb the national pure body...
LUSE: Right.
PARKER: ...Finds its way into Bram Stoker's "Dracula." But there was also this sort of fear of Black Africans abroad. And if we come to the United States in 1898, we have newspaper images popping up out of North Carolina that depict Black men as vampires.
LUSE: What?
PARKER: Yes.
LUSE: Yeah - what?
PARKER: Yes. 'Cause there was this whole fear of Black men being in politics. And so that if you got Black political power, then they're going to take over and destroy white women and all of that. And so you've got all of this propaganda. And there are two images in particular. It's called The Vampire That Hovers Over North Carolina.
LUSE: Whoa.
PARKER: It appears in 1898. And it's a Black male vampire coming out of a ballot box. And there's another image that same time period, North Carolina, where you've got vampires coming out of the grave to vote. And they're Black. And so of course, there is this fear that if you let these monsters vote, they will take over...
LUSE: Wow.
PARKER: ...And destroy our way of life.
LUSE: That's interesting. One of our producers just sent me The Vampire That Hovers Over North Carolina. That image...
PARKER: Yeah.
LUSE: ...I mean, and when - I can - it's so shocking to look at. Calling what I'm seeing in the image a vampire is like - that's underselling it. This is, like, exaggerated depiction of a Black man's head, with pointy teeth, frightening expression, super long arms, huge hands, with really pointy nails at the end.
PARKER: Like claws reaching out - even with, like, hairy...
LUSE: Yeah - to try to grab, yeah - looks like white women. Yeah, I think it's white women.
PARKER: ...It looks like the white women running in their long dresses.
LUSE: Exactly. And there's two big bat wings.
PARKER: Mmm hmm. And then there's a little tail you can kind of see.
LUSE: And there's a tail. And on the bat wings, one wing says Negro. The other one says rule. Like, that's heavy.
PARKER: 'Cause there was this fear of Negro domination. And that tail part is important because, you know, the tail is sort of a phallic symbol - the penis, right?
LUSE: Huh. Right. Right.
PARKER: Just as the fangs are - and that was the other fear about vampires. Of course, when we think about Dracula - when you have Dracula wanting to bite another man, that's - you know, represents so-called deviant sexuality.
LUSE: Hmm.
PARKER: Yeah.
LUSE: People can't see - my hand is on my forehead 'cause you've already blown my mind so much. But it really helps to put a face to the idea of how brutish those depictions of vampire as other really were. Especially now - like, vampires have a much different image, like "Twilight," "True Blood," the new "Interview With The Vampire," the old "Interview With The Vampire," Anne Rice books. But, you know, you mentioned vampires are thought of as more sympathetic now. How did we get to this point?
PARKER: Yeah, it's interesting. I think - if you've ever read "Dracula," you know, we don't ever get anything from Dracula's perspective. It's all what other people say about him. And so I think part of it is that sort of underdog narrative. Well, let's hear from the other. The one that I think about the most is "Blacula," which came out in 1972...
LUSE: Right.
PARKER: ...Where you sort of see Prince Mamuwalde going to Count Dracula's castle, trying to advocate for the end of the slave trade. And he's cursed with being a vampire. And so he's enslaved by this white vampire and then, you know, comes forward to the present. And he's trying to find his love again. And so he functions as a tragic hero, right? We sympathize with him. We get to see what their life was like as a human, and then they're turned into monsters by forces that were beyond their control. We actually get to think about what it means to think about the monster as a human first before they became a monster. And so I think that begins to account for the shift because these monsters came from somewhere, right? We are responsible for creating the monster.
LUSE: Monsters are made. They're not just born.
PARKER: Yep, monsters are made.
LUSE: I want to go back to what you said earlier. It seems like vampires have always been queer in the sense of being othered. But what makes vampires queer in the sense of sexuality?
PARKER: So, I mean, if you think about what a vampire does, they bite your neck. The vampire teeth are often very pointy, and they are phallic symbols. So of course, it's a sexual exchange when a male vampire bites a female victim. The same thing applies when Dracula wants to bite a male.
LUSE: Interesting.
PARKER: Because if you think about it, the vampire doesn't really care who they get their blood from.
LUSE: That's a very good point. They need to feed.
PARKER: You know, they need to feed. But also, there's always this sort of orgasmic feeling that's supposed to happen when you get bitten by a vampire because that's how you shift from being this whole monstrous thing that's feared to something that's sort of desirable if there's pleasure associated with the bite. There sort of has to be that transition if they're going to be this monster that we sort of accept, something else has to give.
LUSE: You have to - in order for a vampire to bite you, you have to want to get that close to them.
PARKER: Well, and also, I think it's - so a vampire can take what they want from you. But if they want to be seen as human, then yes, they have to be desirable. So Dracula is going to take whatever he wants. But if Edward Cullen - right? - Edward Cullen is a seducer. Everything draws you in. And so if you - you're a monster, but you don't want to be seen as a monster, you're going to try to make everything as pleasurable as possible, No. 1. But also, you're going to try to gain someone's trust, right? So that they want to give themselves freely to you.
LUSE: Yeah. I wonder what layers are added to vampire stories when - like, if a vampire is explicitly queer or if a vampire is a monster of color or possibly both, like with the new "Interview With The Vampire" series, which is very gay and no longer subtext.
PARKER: I've only seen the first episode of the TV series that has just recently come out. But I love the first sex scene. I was like, oh, wow, this is so - I was like, this is nice. I want to see the rest of this.
LUSE: Yeah (laughter).
PARKER: It was really very sensual. I was like, oh, this is dope. But Louis in that one, you know, he's closeted, right? And being a - or being next to a vampire allows him to sort of express himself in a way that he wouldn't necessarily have done - right? - because it allows you a sort of freedom to do what you necessarily wouldn't do. And sometimes the things that you want to do are things that you fear.
LUSE: It's interesting. It's like if you're already a monster, at that point, what do you have to lose? Why not just be yourself? Why not just express yourself?
PARKER: Monica Jackson has this short story called "The Ultimate Diet." And Keeshia, the main character, she constantly talks about how at work she's disrespected because she's fat, Black and a woman. And she eventually decides to become a vampire.
LUSE: Wow.
PARKER: And of course, she finds out that it's not all that cracked up to be. But there's this idea that if she is already somebody who's reviled, why not become a monster? You say I'm a monster. Well, I'm going to live into this monstrosity and get everything I want. You were asking when you've got these multiple oppressions that are sort of grafted onto your body, what happens? And that's one example in "The Ultimate Diet" because do we blame Keeshia?
LUSE: Right.
PARKER: Or do we have sympathy for her?
LUSE: Well, it's like - it's the monster we meet.
Coming up, Kendra and I talk about what's behind our culture's undying obsession with vampires.
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LUSE: It seems almost impossible to talk about vampires without talking about sexuality. Like, they're so heavily eroticized. I mean, the bite on the neck, I mean, it's so rich. What's sexy about vampires?
PARKER: I mean, they're wealthy generally.
LUSE: I noticed that they're rich. They have long nails. What's going on?
PARKER: I had a student say, well, if they're living that long, they should have money. I was like, OK.
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PARKER: I guess that is one way to put it. They're young, right? For the most part, typically, you know, when you see vampires, you see them as, you know, well-muscled, svelte figures.
LUSE: Yeah.
PARKER: They're considered this epitome of what most people, I guess, would consider attractive. They've got charisma, and they can typically give you pleasure beyond this world.
LUSE: It's interesting because vampires are meant to represent the other. And yet to your point, you're absolutely right. Most often they represent...
PARKER: The dominant.
LUSE: ...A very - yeah, like, sort of, like, a very conventional representation of, like, whatever the dominant culture finds attractive. And they're conceived primarily as white, very pale, at least in the Western canon, Western media and literature. You teach a class on Black vampires.
PARKER: I do.
LUSE: What makes vampire stories good vehicles for stories about race?
PARKER: Oh, gosh. Well, one, you get to add history, right? Vampires have to have some sort of history. You know, we rarely think of a vampire who's born in the 21st century, right? And so there's - you know, you've got histories that you can explore, but it's also something that's intriguing. And it makes you think, right? It helps you think about things that you may not think about otherwise, including race, including gender, including fatphobia, sexuality. So I think that's why.
LUSE: You know, our cultural obsession with vampires goes back centuries. But it seems like there is, like, a popular iteration on vampire stories every decade, maybe even less, honestly. But I feel like vampires are always popular. What keeps them relevant to us?
PARKER: It really does depend on who's sort of constructing the vampire and what stories are being told, right? Are things going well? All right. Then we need the Cullens to come and show us why we should, you know, buy into this idea of American exceptionalism.
LUSE: And, like, assimilate.
PARKER: This is what we need. Are things going bad? Let's come up with all these vampires who are, you know, the undead who are going to take over the world. And they're all Black, and let's kill them all.
LUSE: What story is that?
PARKER: Oh, I mean, the Reconstruction period, 1898.
LUSE: Oh, OK. Oh, you're talking about back then. I thought you were talking about now. And I was like...
PARKER: Oh, no.
LUSE: ...Is this coming up.
PARKER: Oh, God, no.
LUSE: But yeah. No, I mean, that absolutely sounds like the late 1800s. Absolutely.
PARKER: Yeah. I think - so I don't know what sort of vampire would come out in the next few years. I mean, I think about "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter," which - very interesting, you know, portraying slave owners as bloodthirsty vampires who needed Black bodies for capital. But you see in - like, in one instance, you've got the vampire being the oppressor, and then in another instance, the vampire is the oppressed who becomes a threat.
LUSE: So, like I said, I spoke to Jacob Anderson, the star of the new "Interview With The Vampire." And we also asked him why vampires still have this hold on us. And I won't give it away, but he posited it's something about immortality. How does that play for you?
PARKER: Immortality is scary - right? - because you have to watch all of these people die unless you make them like you.
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LUSE: Well, Kendra, thank you so, so, so, so much. It has been so great having you on today. You've told me things that I just never thought I would ever find out.
PARKER: I had so much fun talking with you. I love talking about vampires, so, so happy to do it.
LUSE: That was Kendra R. Parker. She teaches African American literature at Georgia Southern University. And her book is called "She Bites Back: Black Female Vampires In African American Women's Novels."
OK. So if you're still not convinced that vampires are for you, our next guest stars on a show that might change your mind. I mean, I know it changed mine. Jacob Anderson of AMC's new "Interview With The Vampire" series is coming up. Stick around.
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LUSE: A lot of you may already be familiar with the 1994 movie "Interview With The Vampire." I watched it a few weeks ago for the very first time.
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TOM CRUISE: (As Lestat de Lioncourt) Life has no meaning anymore, does it? But what if I could give it back to you - pluck out the pain and give you another life?
LUSE: It's got Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, bad wigs, good acrylics and a grade-school-aged Kirsten Dunst giving one of the best performances of the '90s. It was fun. Based on Anne Rice's books, the story has a lot of potential. And yet, Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt never kiss. They teased it. I mean, they really teased it. But when it didn't happen, the whole movie felt a little defanged, if you will. Also, Brad Pitt's character, Louis, is supposed to be Creole - a mess. Then, I watched the new television series from AMC.
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ANDERSON: (As Louis de Pointe du Lac) Vampires are killers - apex predators whose all-seeing eyes were meant to give them detachment.
LUSE: And it was everything I wanted in the movie and then some.
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LUSE: The series is set in the early 1900s where Louis de Pointe du Lac has to navigate being a Black man, being a vampire, and this time being in an explicitly romantic relationship with his creator, Lestat. At its core, this version of "Interview With The Vampire" uses the monster genre to more deeply explore what it means to be human. And the man tasked with this undertaking is Jacob Anderson. Jacob plays Louis on the AMC show, and we talked all about the shaky ethics of vampirism, how he approached Louis's Louisiana accent and the trauma of immortality. And as I mentioned earlier, before this show, I was not even into vampires like that. And funnily enough, Jacob said the same.
ANDERSON: Vampires just never really struck a chord with me. And then it wasn't until I read "Interview With The Vampire" that I kind of realized that vampires were exactly the monster that I was always looking for. And they kind of - I feel like they sort of exist in this space of, like, reliving their human life and sitting in trauma or, like, the sort of crisis of human existence. I know it sounds very cynical, but I think, like, that's the darkest way to look at it. But then there's a real honesty to them. They exist in the shadows, but they are living their sort of truest existence in the shadows. And yeah, I really love vampires now. I really get it.
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LUSE: I watched the film version of "Interview With The Vampire" for the first time shortly before beginning the series. It's a fun watch, but it definitely feels very 1994 in terms of how it handles race and sexuality. But with the AMC series, everything is clear. Louis is a Black, gay man, and that is all central to his experience as a vampire...
ANDERSON: Yeah.
LUSE: ...In the early 1900s, when the story begins. How has that influenced your approach to playing Louis?
ANDERSON: For me, it was more - I was just excited. I was excited to dig into these things and to start. And I remember even the poker scene in the pilot - I came into it as a contemporary Black man.
LUSE: Right - like, at a card table with a bunch of racist, white businessmen who Louis kind of needs on his side.
ANDERSON: I didn't want to play into it. I wanted to come in strong. And I wanted to be like, I'm holding my space here because, as far as I'm concerned, Louis believes that he belongs in this room. He belongs in this space. And I remember Rolin came up to me during that scene and was like, I see what you're playing. I see what you're doing. But remember where we are in history. Remember what you're trying to achieve. It's really sad, but there is an intelligence - I mean, like, going, OK, well, I know what I have to play up to for these men. And he was like, it's uncomfortable, but I want you to lean into that will to please them. And I hated it. It was really uncomfortable. It was horrible. It felt bad in my skin. But that's how it's supposed to feel. That's how it's supposed to read when you watch it.
LUSE: Right.
ANDERSON: So yeah, that was something else in terms of approach. It's, like, just finding those moments.
LUSE: How did you approach research for the role? 'Cause, I mean, the story begins in a very specific moment in time - early 1900s New Orleans. But also, like, a lot of the story is set in Storyville, the former red-light district in New Orleans - and Louis having this Creole history - like, how did you approach researching to be in that space and stay in that mindset?
ANDERSON: It was really challenging, actually, to find sort of good research materials. There were a few sources that I found - like, sort of audio interviews. I watched, like, 1 1/2 documentaries about Creole people. Some of the choices I made were kind of, honestly, quite anachronistic. It was like - even the accent - I don't know exactly how a Black French Creole man sounded in that time, and we tried this sort of French, Southern-tinged thing. But I think my feeling was that it was going to be a bit distracting.
But yes, there are anachronistic elements of the character. But I also - there was this one picture that I had in my trailer, and I would - just this like, magnificent Black man in this suit, with this beautiful hat. And I was like, OK, I need to just glimpse him every day. And that's kind of the basis for episode-one Louis. But yeah, he's a man out of time as well, so I think it helps.
LUSE: When you say man out of time, what do you mean?
ANDERSON: I always thought of Louis as, like, either slightly ahead or slightly behind. It's that he never really feels like he belongs where he is, and I think that's like, where the self-torture comes from for him.
LUSE: So present-day Louis reflects back on his earliest days as a vampire and says...
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ANDERSON: (As Louis de Point du Lac) I have powers now and decades of rage to process.
LUSE: And some context for listeners - this is in reference to the first time Louis' rage drives him to kill a racist man who's attempting to cheat him out of some money. Tell me about how that line struck you and what you think it says about Louis' journey as a vampire.
ANDERSON: There were certain things that I was like - I understand this so deeply in my being that, like, I don't - like, what do I really need to do to sort of research this - this aspect of it? But I think for Louis, it's like he suddenly has this huge amount of power, and it's figuring out what to do with that and the responsibility of that power. And I think there's a joy to it in the present day. He doesn't regret that moment. He's like, I had some stuff that I had to get off my chest, and this man that disrespected me in a way that I am so accustomed to being disrespected. Like, he represented something in that moment, and I'm glad that I was able to sort of exorcise that simmering thing inside me.
And I think it's the first time that Louis becomes really aware of what his power means in, like, the context of a life, rather than just, like, well, I'm a vampire now, and I can do cool stuff. It's like, now I can use this power to change my standing in the world - to change how I'm perceived, which I - he's not - unfortunately, he's wrong, as we learn later on. But I think, in the past, that's how he feels. And I think that reflecting on it in the present, he's kind of like - that was a big moment for me, and I'm so glad that I allowed myself that kill.
LUSE: Louis is this supernatural character. He's a vampire. He can kill white racists. But at the end of the day, he can survive all of those things, but he can't also change how the world works.
ANDERSON: Yeah.
LUSE: He's still going to face consequences because he's still seen as a mortal Black man, walking around like anybody else. I thought that was a very, very, very interesting choice for the show to make, and it made me feel more engaged as a viewer because it wasn't like Louis snapped his fingers and suddenly, you know, every obstacle that he's ever had just disappeared...
ANDERSON: Yeah, yeah.
LUSE: ...Because he had all these new powers. Yeah.
ANDERSON: I often get asked, like, how does Louis' race change the character from the books? The character is ostensibly the same, but how his race changes the trajectory of the story - Louis is depressive. He's depressed. He is somebody who is unable to find satisfaction in the books. And in the show, he gets to that place, but it's through this thing that - I don't want to say just Black people, but I think, like, people of color can really relate to - how our existence sometimes can be so overwhelming that it can drive you to that place. It can drive you to that depressive place. And I think it's an interesting thing to explore the idea that, like, even being given all of that power, it doesn't necessarily protect you from a larger system...
LUSE: Yeah.
ANDERSON: ...That wants to keep pushing and keep holding you down.
LUSE: You know, a lot of contemporary vampire stories are, like, really about morality, in a sense, and that's something that Louis struggles with, too. Louis doesn't like to kill people. He likes to feed off of animals. And there are a lot of scenes of Louis, like, trying to go fishing...
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LUSE: ...So that he can, like, drink the blood of the fish, or picking up rats or raccoons. And I'm just like, oh, man. But also, like, when Louis does - like, a way, I think, in which Louis does kind of rationalize feeding off of humans from time to time is people who have done something deplorable. So it's, like, racists, abusers, people who've wronged him. And it almost seems like he's trying to be some sort of, quote-unquote, "good monster." What does that mean to be a good monster? Especially when you think about, like - possibly because of his race or because of his sexuality, he's, in some ways, assumed to be monstrous by other characters on the show just for being - people who don't even know that he's a vampire. Like, how is Louis' morality wrapped up in how other people perceived him? Is there, like, a tension there? Am I picking up on something?
ANDERSON: There's definitely, I think, a sense that Louis is carrying too much human baggage. He's taken too much human morality with him. That's partially what kind of throws him into despair because it is such a difficult thing to moralize about. It's such a difficult thing to sort of - to really reconcile with because everybody - you can only control how you affect others - how your behavior affects others. And I think that is also at the center of Louis' sort of moral question - it's like, well, what now? What do I want to be? What mark do I want to leave on the world? How do I use this power? I think there aren't any clean answers, and I think that's kind of what makes the show interesting - is that, like, all of these characters - you love them. And you hate them. And you agree with them. And you disagree with them. And you - and all of it exists at the same time. All of it can exist at the same time.
Like, I think there is an argument to be made for Lestat's - and this is, like, the center of Lestat and Louis' sort of, like, warring ideologies. Like, Lestat is like, well, if you're going to kill somebody, then make it beautiful. Make it artistic. Like, make their final moments sort of sing so they're not dying in vain - they're dying at least with the feeling of this, like, purpose. You're putting purpose into their lives. And you could also say - but is that not cruel? Is that not humiliating for them? That they - why would you try and prolong their suffering? And then Louis' sort of thing is, well, I just want to do it quickly and painlessly or not at all. And you could argue, if you're going to kill people that have done something wrong - whether that's objective or subjective or whatever - then are you giving them an easy way out? Like, is it...
LUSE: (Laughter).
ANDERSON: You know, maybe they deserve to suffer a little bit more?
LUSE: Yeah.
ANDERSON: Louis' kind of central question is, like, moral versus aesthetic. Like, do you do something moral because you believe in an inherent morality and inherent goodness, or do you do it because society says that this is good and this is bad, and society is looking at your deeds as, like, a mark to get you into heaven or to get you into whatever it is - whatever you believe in? It drives him a bit crazy. Probably the most consistent thing that people have said to me about this show is like, wow, you ate a lot of animals - that fox...
LUSE: (Laughter).
ANDERSON: ...The cat, you know? Like, that's the thing...
LUSE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
ANDERSON: ...That people are bothered about. And you could be like, well, that somebody's pet. Or, you know, that animal has an internal life...
LUSE: Yeah.
ANDERSON: ...And you don't know what that animal has done. That cat might have eaten its own baby. Like - sorry, that was very dark.
LUSE: True.
ANDERSON: But, you know...
LUSE: No, but I mean, you know, animal kingdom - it's different rules out there.
ANDERSON: Yeah. And how do you even begin to moralize the world that we live in? And again, if you live forever, you are constantly faced with that dilemma - that moral question. So actually, it was a long answer to your question without an actual answer 'cause I don't know. How do you sort morality into something satisfying?
LUSE: What do you think it is that vampires either tell us about our desires or represent about our desires?
ANDERSON: I think it's something about them being in the shadows and only being able to come out at night that ties into like, intrusive thoughts or, like, the things that we think or feel that we would never want anybody else to know that we think or feel.
LUSE: Like our shadow selves.
ANDERSON: Yeah, our shadow selves - exactly. And they are also, arguably, the most human monster myth that's been created. They are more or less just immortal human beings. It's just that they can only survive by taking the life out of other human beings. I think that there's a human thing about desire that's like, well, what if my desire is harmful to somebody else? Or, like, what if my desire would make me a pariah to others?
LUSE: Yeah.
ANDERSON: That feels like it ties into vampirism. I'm not sure. I haven't got, like, a fully formed thought about it.
LUSE: (Laughter) I wasn't even thinking about it from that way - thinking about it like the fact that vampires really - they're relying on humans to survive. Why do you think audiences continue to be so fascinated by vampires?
ANDERSON: It's a good question. I think there is something very alluring about immortality, but also very frightening about it, and that's often the line that people sit on when they go to horror - or comedy, I guess. It's like something that's dangerous, but also enticing, and vampires definitely fit that mold.
LUSE: With immortality, it's like, I can live forever, but then the flip side of that is then you're stuck with your own thoughts... (laughter).
ANDERSON: Yeah.
LUSE: ...For the rest of time.
ANDERSON: Yeah. I remember having - maybe this is revealing too much, but I remember having this thought that - it's kind of like - it haunts me. Like, what if I just kept living? Like, what if this is just forever, and finding that really terrifying as a concept. Because also, then you have to live with all of the people you disappoint - the memory of all of the people you disappointed or all the times you disappointed yourself. Like, you have to just sit in that.
LUSE: Yeah.
ANDERSON: But then that's also being an adult, right? Like, it's - being an adult - you are an immortal version of your childhood self. Like, looking back and going, whoa, wait a second. I have to just live with all of that...
LUSE: Yeah.
ANDERSON: ...And find a way to, like, feel OK about it. And it's - I think, sometimes, I'm definitely in danger of talking about these things like it's everybody's experience, and it's not. But certainly, for me, like, I am constantly thinking about these things.
LUSE: That was a fantastic answer. Jacob, thank you so much for coming on the show today. This was really great.
ANDERSON: Thank you for having me, Brittany. And thank you - your questions were amazing. I really enjoyed this.
LUSE: Oh, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thanks again to Jacob Anderson. His show, "Interview With The Vampire" is available now on AMC, and it's kind of the perfect thing to watch this weekend. So if I were you, I'd check it out.
This episode was produced by...
BARTON GIRDWOOD, BYLINE: Barton Girdwood.
LIAM MCBAIN, BYLINE: Liam McBain.
JANET WOOJEONG LEE, BYLINE: Janet Woojeong Lee.
JAMILA HUXTABLE, BYLINE: Jamila Huxtable.
JESSICA MENDOZA, BYLINE: Jessica Mendoza.
LUSE: Produced and edited this episode. Engineering support came from Joby Tanseco.
JESSICA PLACZEK, BYLINE: Jessica Placzek.
LUSE: Is our supervising editor.
VERALYN WILLIAMS, BYLINE: Veralyn Williams.
LUSE: Is our executive producer.
YOLANDA SANGWENI, BYLINE: Yolanda Sangweni.
LUSE: Is our VP of programming. And our big boss is NPR's senior VP of programming...
ANYA GRUNDMANN, BYLINE: Anya Grundmann.
LUSE: I'm Brittany Luse. You're listening to IT'S BEEN A MINUTE from NPR.
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