'Wait Wait' for October 14, 2023: 25th Anniversary Spectacular, Part VII!
JENNIFER MILLS, BYLINE: The following program was taped in front of an audience of real, live people.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm the ghostly anchorman, Boo Kurtis.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Ill., Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you, everybody. You guys are great. So it is not quite Halloween, but we are taking off early so we can prepare. It turns out those fake cobwebs we like to use are really bad for the environment, but we discovered how to bribe real spiders to cover our entire house instead.
KURTIS: You do it the same way we bribe everyone in Chicago, unmarked packages of dead flies.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So while we're collecting all those, we thought we'd entertain you with some great material from our recent shows.
KURTIS: Earlier this year, we went down to New Orleans and talked with longtime resident actor John Goodman. Here's an extended version of our chat.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)
SAGAL: John Goodman, welcome to WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
(APPLAUSE)
JOHN GOODMAN: Thank you very much, Peter. Thank you. An honor to be here.
SAGAL: It's such an honor to have you. We're all a little intimidated because if, like, if any of us were to name our top five favorite movies, you'd just be in three of them. That's how it is. You were out in LA. You were doing extraordinarily well as an actor. And you were like, I can't raise my family here.
GOODMAN: Well, I found out a long time ago I could pretty much live wherever I wanted.
SAGAL: Yeah.
GOODMAN: And if we moved here - I married a Louisiana girl from Bogalusa.
(CHEERING)
GOODMAN: And I reckon she could be near her parents when I was on the road all the time.
SAGAL: Yeah. And did it work out the way you wanted? Was New Orleans just what you were hoping for when you...
GOODMAN: Better than. I'd been coming down here for years. I just love it here. And, yeah, couldn't be better.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Have they accepted you eventually? Because I'm told people from New Orleans are a little suspicious of people from away.
GOODMAN: Who cares?
(LAUGHTER)
GOODMAN: No, everybody's very pleasant.
SAGAL: (Laughter). We read that you were living in a haunted house here.
GOODMAN: I - yeah. It was just...
(LAUGHTER)
GOODMAN: ...Inside the parish line. And we've heard - we heard too many things. And people suffered in there.
SAGAL: Really?
GOODMAN: Yeah. It was really spooky. And it - felt affected by it, yeah.
SAGAL: Well, what sort of things would this haunted...
GOODMAN: Oh, there were huge knocks on the wall. My daughter was a student at Neumann. And she was in the band, so she would play a little xylophone thing. And my mother-in-law and her husband were sitting on the porch one day. And they heard her little xylophone piece go off.
MAEVE HIGGINS: No.
GOODMAN: She was in school.
SAGAL: Whoa.
GOODMAN: Yeah. And we were awakened in the middle of the night several times by just - it sounded like somebody was sledgehammering above our bed. A lot of other things.
SAGAL: Right. So one thing we know about the ghost was it was a percussionist.
GOODMAN: Yes. Right.
(LAUGHTER)
GOODMAN: And he hung out with a lot of bands.
SAGAL: Yeah, I know. Here in New Orleans, even the dead want to get into music.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It's just that's the kind of culture that you have here. Do - are people in New Orleans cool when they see you on the street? Like, oh, yeah...
GOODMAN: They don't care. Yeah.
SAGAL: They really don't. That must be great.
(LAUGHTER)
GOODMAN: Yeah. Everybody's nice. And, yeah, they don't care. It's just, how you doing?
SAGAL: Yeah.
GOODMAN: Where y'at?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That's good. You've adopted that. That's good. Usually, we always ask people like yourselves what role you're most known for. And usually when we ask that, we can guess. In your case, I absolutely can't because you've done so many different things over the years, some of them, like, incredibly iconic. Like, you were the dad in the most successful sitcom of the '90s, "Roseanne." You were in, like, those Coen brothers movies, "The Big Lebowski." You were like, you know...
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: And I couldn't guess. You were, like, Sulley in, like, some beloved children's movie, "Monsters, Inc."
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: So is there an answer? Is there something that most people, like, go for immediately?
GOODMAN: It's usually - if they're tourists, it's "Big Lebowski." If they're younger, they grew up on "Roseanne."
SAGAL: Right.
GOODMAN: But yeah, it's between those two.
SAGAL: Did you know that movie in particular was going to become what it has become, which is this enormous cult...
GOODMAN: Absolutely not. And I had so much fun doing it, I really didn't care.
SAGAL: Really?
GOODMAN: I didn't care if they released it. No. We had a ball making it. And the script was just so damn good.
SAGAL: Right.
GOODMAN: I never gave it a thought.
SAGAL: I heard somebody that the - one of the Coen brothers said about you. And they were trying to describe your appeal on why they love using you in their movies. They said, he's like this normal guy, but he's crazy.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And I was like, because it's genuinely weird. In certain of your roles, certainly in "Roseanne" and then "The Conners" and as in the "Monsters, Inc." movie, you can be absolutely adorable and cuddly, and you have also played roles in which you are none of those things and are kind of scary.
GOODMAN: If you're cuddly and adorable, there's got to be a reason why, and it's usually filthy.
SAGAL: Really?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So you're telling, like, Sulley from "Monsters, Inc." has a terrible backstory?
GOODMAN: You don't want to know.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Yeah. He stopped killing. He decided just last month to stop killing people, and he's really trying to make up for it.
GOODMAN: In 3D.
SAGAL: Yeah (laughter). Your latest thing is a TV show on Max...
GOODMAN: Max.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Max, Max - called "The Righteous Gemstones."
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It must have been great when you got that offer. It was like, oh, wow. I've always wanted to do a prestige drama on Max.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And "The Righteous Gemstones" is another show from Danny McBride, who made "Eastbound & Down" and "Vice Principals." And in this show, it's about a family of megachurch preachers, evangelists. And you play the patriarch of this very wealthy, very influential family.
GOODMAN: Yeah, the head preacher.
SAGAL: What was the appeal of this particular show?
GOODMAN: I - the way - when I read it, I just wanted to do it immediately. And plus, I got to do a little preaching.
SAGAL: Sure.
GOODMAN: I always thought if the acting thing didn't work out, I'd get myself a tent and...
SAGAL: Really?
(LAUGHTER)
GOODMAN: ...Hit the circus, you know, tell fortunes, preach a little bit, guess weight.
SAGAL: Yeah, you can do that, little carnival act. We also found - you're from St. Louis originally.
GOODMAN: Yes.
SAGAL: And we heard that when you fly into the St. Louis Airport, you are greeted - like the baggage claim - by the voice of John Goodman. Is that the case?
GOODMAN: I haven't flown into St. Louis for so long. I don't know.
SAGAL: Really? Do you remember?
GOODMAN: It sounds great to me.
SAGAL: Yeah. Well, you know, Bill here is the voice of Chicago - the Chicago airport. So we have, like, the voice of two American cities on stage with us.
(APPLAUSE)
HIGGINS: (Imitating New York accent) And I did the voice of New York.
(LAUGHTER)
HIGGINS: (Imitating New York accent) I'm walking along here.
GOODMAN: It's our friend, Ratso (ph).
HIGGINS: (Imitating New York accent) That's me.
SAGAL: (Laughter). Well, John Goodman, it is absolutely a thrill to talk to you in real life, I have to say. But we have invited you here to play a game we're calling...
KURTIS: You're a Goodman. But who's a good boy?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: We were thinking, Goodman? Who's a good little - who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Dogs. We're going to ask you three questions about man's best friend.
HIGGINS: (Barks).
SAGAL: There you go. Answer two of them correctly - you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is John Goodman playing for?
KURTIS: Eric McDonnell (ph) of New Orleans, La.
GOODMAN: How can I screw this up?
SAGAL: Could be a neighbor. Could be coming over if you mess this up.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right. You ready to do this?
GOODMAN: Yes, sir.
SAGAL: All right. One of the Russian space dogs, one with the name of Brave, was a very good boy. He distinguished himself before his launch into space back in the '60s how? A, he tore up a Neil Armstrong chew toy on Russian state TV; B, he humped the rocket, a tradition all cosmonauts now do before launches for good luck.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Or C, Brave, true to his name, ran away the day before his launch?
(LAUGHTER)
GOODMAN: I'm going to opt for C.
SAGAL: That's what he did.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, APPLAUSE)
GOODMAN: Much as we all love humping rockets...
SAGAL: I know.
GOODMAN: ...I'm going to go for C.
SAGAL: Yeah. He got the hell out of there. He was not the only Russian space dog to run away the day before the launch. So did a dog named Bobik who was replaced - and I'm serious - with a dog they named Substitute For Bobik.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right. That was very good. You have dogs, right?
GOODMAN: Yeah, two. They're waiting for me at home.
SAGAL: Are they really?
GOODMAN: Yeah.
SAGAL: What are they up to when you're away?
GOODMAN: One got my corn dog last night, and you know how painful that can be.
SAGAL: Oh, yeah.
HIGGINS: I'm so sorry.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right, second question. Many a great author has had a good boy, a doggy as a companion, such as which of these? A, Shakespeare's dog, Marlowe (ph), once dug up and brought home a human skull, inspiring a very big scene in Hamlet; B, John Steinbeck's dog Toby ate the first draft of "Of Mice And Men," forcing him to rewrite it; or C, David Foster Wallace's dog Mr. Pickles...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...Who also only pretended to have read "Infinite Jest?"
(LAUGHTER)
GOODMAN: As a pretender myself, I'm going to go with B.
SAGAL: You're going to go with B, that John Steinbeck's dog ate the manuscript. That's right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Steinbeck wrote in his journal in 1937, minor tragedy - my pup, left alone one night, made confetti of about half of my manuscript book.
GOODMAN: Did he have a corn dog on it?
SAGAL: He might have.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That's a lesson. Don't leave your corn dog on your manuscripts. OK.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Now, if you really want to see the best good boys in the world, you have to go to the Westminster Dog Show. What's one thing trainers do there to make sure their dogs give their best performance at the dog show? A, they give them doggie Ozempic...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...B, the night before the show, trainers sleep in the crate; dogs sleep in the bed; or C, during the competition to make sure the dogs maintain constant eye contact with the trainer, the trainers keep a dog treat in their own mouth?
GOODMAN: C.
SAGAL: Yes. Spoken...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...Like a dog owner. And trainers, if you're listening out there, next time, try a corn dog.
(LAUGHTER)
MO ROCCA: They put the treat in their...
SAGAL: They put the treat in their own mouth, and they kind of hold it there. And the dog's like - it's what keeps the dog focused on them.
ROCCA: Oh, I hope they scraped their tongue afterwards.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did John Goodman do on our quiz?
KURTIS: He is in rare company. John, you got them all right. You're a winner.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Wow. You think this will finally make the people in New Orleans treat you special?
GOODMAN: I hope so.
SAGAL: Yeah, I know. John Goodman is a show business legend who you can see in the new season of HBO's "Righteous Gemstones." John Goodman, everybody.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "THE DOG")
RUFUS THOMAS: (Singing) Do the dog.
SAGAL: In a minute, our panelists lie about the world's worst girls' weekend in a never-before-heard Bluff the Listener game. That's when we come back with more WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago, Ill., Peter Sagal.
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you so much. So earlier this fall, we went to Ann Arbor, Mich., with panelists Eugene Cordero, Faith Salie and Bobcat Goldthwait. And while we were there, we did what we always do - we lied to one of our listeners.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)
SAGAL: Right now, of course, it's time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi. You are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
LEANN: Hi. How are you?
SAGAL: I'm fine. Who's this?
LEANN: My name is Leann (ph).
SAGAL: Hey, Leann. where are you calling from?
LEANN: I'm calling from Rockledge, Fla.
SAGAL: Rockledge, Fla. Absolutely beautiful place. What do you do there?
LEANN: I work at an elementary school library.
SAGAL: You do?
FAITH SALIE: Aw.
(APPLAUSE)
LEANN: I...
SAGAL: In Florida?
SALIE: Wow.
LEANN: In Florida.
SAGAL: Is it...
SALIE: How is that one book doing in your library?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: No, no, no, no. We don't make fun of school librarians in Florida.
SALIE: Right...
SAGAL: You are on...
SALIE: ...You're a saint.
SAGAL: ...The front lines and we are behind you.
Leann, it's nice to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Leann's topic?
KURTIS: Worst girls' weekend ever.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It's hard to ruin a trip with your best girls. Especially when your GF's got all that rizz.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: But this week, we read a story about a girls' trip that went bad, and our panelists are each going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling you the truth, and you'll win the WAIT WAITer of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play?
LEANN: Sure.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You had to think about it?
LEANN: I'm just telling you, I'm not good at sniffing out...
SAGAL: All right, all right. As I indicated earlier, you are a hero to us.
SALIE: We are here for you.
SAGAL: I am on your side. We will help you out.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: All right?
LEANN: Oh, my God.
SAGAL: All right. Well, here we go. Let's hear our first story. It is from Eugene Cordero.
EUGENE CORDERO: Sometimes you know just what your friends need to relax. Other times, not so much. Julie McSorley thought she knew exactly what her good friend Liz Cottriel needed to escape the daily grind and stresses in life - a morning kayaking and whale watching in California's beautiful San Luis Obispo Bay. After witnessing great humpback whale activity the day before, Julie was eager to share a similar experience with her friend Liz. Liz was not as excited about the excursion, but McSorley promised that the kayaks are so stable, they'll never dump over, and you'll be safe. As the two women rode out, they saw plenty of whales in the distance, and the longer they stayed, the closer the whales came. They were loving it until the mouth of a humpback whale surrounded the women and their kayak and dragged them under the water. Luckily for Julie and Liz, they were spit out.
(LAUGHTER)
CORDERO: When the ladies returned to safety, all that was lost were their breath and their keys. To be fair to Julie, whose idea it was, when she assured Liz of all the bad things that wouldn't happen, being swallowed whole by a whale was not one of them.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Two ladies have a wonderful trip...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...To see whales, and they get to see the inside of a whale's throat. Your next story of a trip tripping comes from Faith Salie.
SALIE: When Jackie Reinbold (ph), Jennifer Liturst (ph) and Liz Roeder (ph), BFFs for 30 years, chose Northern Virginia for their girls' camping trip, they assumed they'd be woken by birdsong. Instead, it was a cacophony of muskets firing, horses whinnying and men hollering Yankees. Upon emerging from the tent, the women were besieged by gray-uniformed soldiers demanding their surrender. Jackie, the last to emerge, waddled out because she is eight months pregnant. She reports, I calmly informed those freaks that we are not Union soldiers.
(LAUGHTER)
SALIE: Once the local 21st century police showed up, the women learned their campsite was a little-known Civil War battle site called the Siege of Little Big Shrubs. The shrubs aren't even there anymore, sighs Liz. And next year, we're going to a tarot card reading workshop in Sheboygan.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: A camping trip gets interrupted by some Civil War reenactors. Your last weekend wreck comes from Bobcat Goldthwait.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: Mrs. Kathy Kenney (ph), 74, of Oneonta, N.Y., is suing Alpha Hunks, a male stripper company, for damages caused by their client, Gary Kozlowski (ph), aka The Bone Ranger...
(LAUGHTER)
GOLDTHWAIT: ...At her daughter Nora's (ph) bachelorette party. Gary's arrival was met with whoops and cheers, but soon, while giving Nora her first lap dance to Nelly's hit song "It's Getting Hot In Here" (ph), The Bone Ranger began to cry. Nora asked if he was all right, and Gary said he was just going through some stuff.
(LAUGHTER)
GOLDTHWAIT: Kozlowski began the song over, only to stop again, this time, sobbing uncontrollably. When Nora asked Gary what was wrong, he explained that he was getting divorced and that "It's Getting Hot In Here" was his wedding song.
(LAUGHTER)
GOLDTHWAIT: After hours of Gary discussing the many pitfalls of marriage, Nora called off her wedding.
(LAUGHTER)
GOLDTHWAIT: Mrs. Kenney is suing Alpha Males for the cost of the wedding and duress. Of course I'm mad, wouldn't you be, exclaimed Mrs. Kenney, the real shame was that when he wasn't crying, Gary had some real sick moves. It's just too bad he's got such a big mouth.
SAGAL: All right...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...So, Leann, here are your choices. From Eugene Cordero, a story about how two women went for a kayaking trip one of them was not that excited about and ended up getting swallowed by a whale, from Faith Salie, a camping trip get interrupted because it turns out it was a Civil War battlefield with the battle being reenacted or from Bobcat Goldthwait, how a depressed, male stripper ended up ruining not just the bachelorette party, but the whole wedding.
(APPLAUSE)
SALIE: They're just applauding for The Bone Ranger. Not for the veracity, Leann.
SAGAL: All right.
LEANN: Well, you know, as much as I think that they should applaud for The Bone Ranger, because that's really a great name, I will have to go with Eugene on this.
SAGAL: So you're going to go with Eugene.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: The audience approves. The story of the two women who were swallowed by the whale. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to someone familiar with the real story.
HEATHER SCHWEDEL: They thought they were going to see the whale, like, it was going to be really close. And it was actually so close, they ended up in the whale's mouth.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: That was Heather Schwedel, a staff writer from Slate who spoke with the woman who was, in fact, briefly swallowed by the whale. Congratulations, Leann, you got it right.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: You earned a point for Eugene for being truthful, and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing, Leann.
LEANN: Thank you very much, everyone.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
SAGAL: And here's one of our favorite recent conversation with actor Sam Waterston and guest host Karen Chee.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)
KAREN CHEE: Sam Waterston, welcome to WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!
SAM WATERSTON: Oh, thank you so much for having me. I love this show.
CHEE: Oh, my gosh. That's so nice of you. You must be so bummed that I'm not Peter.
(LAUGHTER)
WATERSTON: It's OK.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: Sam, I have some questions about "Law & Order." You've been on "Law & Order," as I mentioned, for 16 years. In those 16 years, you could have gotten several actual law degrees in that time. Do you think you could pass the bar if you took it now?
WATERSTON: Oh, almost certainly not. And I'm - absolutely nobody should ever come to me for law advice. That's...
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: Do you have people coming up to the street when they recognize you? Do they ask you for legal advice?
WATERSTON: No, but I've had more than a handful of people come up to me and say that they became lawyers because of me.
HELEN HONG: Whoa.
CHEE: That's so nice.
KURTIS: Nice.
CHEE: Is there any part of you that's disappointed that they didn't become an actor because of you?
(LAUGHTER)
WATERSTON: No. But I do apologize to them for getting them into the law.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: That's so great. Do you feel like you know enough about the law that you could defend yourself if you ended up in court?
WATERSTON: Anybody who - you know, there's an old saying in the law. Anybody who is defending themselves in a court of law has a fool for a client. And that would definitely be my case. I couldn't do it, not a chance.
CHEE: OK. Well, that's a bummer 'cause I really wanted to ask what crimes you thought you could get away with.
(LAUGHTER)
WATERSTON: Well, that's an entirely different question.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: You have a list ready to go. Do you feel like, because you have shot in - you know, you've shot on location in so many places in New York. Does the whole city feel like a set to you at this point?
WATERSTON: Yeah. What it feels like to do "Law & Order" was that you - like you were the city's mascot. People would shout at me across the street, hey, "Law & Order."
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: Do you think they're telling you to just behave better?
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: You've - I know we've been talking a lot about Jack McCoy, but you've played a lot of really iconic roles. You've played Abraham Lincoln multiple times. Do you keep pursuing that role because you know you look really good in a stovepipe hat?
(LAUGHTER)
WATERSTON: I always said that there ought to be some compensation for an actor who's plain-looking.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: Sam, I got to be honest. When we wrote that question, I worried it was going to sound like I was hitting on you.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: And I want you to know, I am. OK.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: I do have more questions, though. What is a role you've always wanted to play but never had a chance to?
WATERSTON: Iago.
KURTIS: Shakespeare.
CHEE: Wait, the parrot in "Aladdin"?
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: Biago (ph).
WATERSTON: That's it.
KURTIS: Yeah.
CHEE: Great. No follow-up questions.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: You also did Shakespeare, speaking of which, for a very long time. When you memorize a big Shakespeare part, I know so much of it is, like, lots of monologues and stuff. How long do you retain that memorized text? And can you summon up a monologue now?
WATERSTON: Oh, what a rogue and peasant slave am I. Is it not monstrous that this player here, but in a fiction, in a dream of passion, should move his soul so to his conceit that from his visage all his - well, that's it. I can't go on any further.
(CHEERING)
HONG: Wow.
CHEE: Whoa-oh.
ALZO SLADE: Wow.
KURTIS: Good memory.
CHEE: So good (ph).
HONG: That's deep. I saw you - this is Helen Hong. I saw you once at Shakespeare in the Park in Central Park. And I enjoyed you so much and got so many mosquito bites.
(LAUGHTER)
HONG: You were worth getting eaten alive by mosquitoes.
WATERSTON: (Laughter) Thank you.
CHEE: As Helen mentioned, you do Shakespeare in the Park in New York. What is the craziest thing that happened during a live performance?
WATERSTON: Well, most of the crazy things there can be attributed to the raccoons.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: Were they playing a part in the play?
WATERSTON: Yeah. The entire audience lost interest in the play because a family of raccoons lifted the bottom edge of the curtain...
HONG: What?
WATERSTON: ...And looked out at the audience, and the little one ran out and threatened to join the audience. And they got...
SLADE: Ah, that's theater right there, baby.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: That's incredible.
WATERSTON: There was no other show going on that night. That was it.
HONG: You got Shakespeare [expletive]-blocked by a family of raccoons?
SLADE: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: Sam, you have the cutest laugh. What? That was so sweet.
WATERSTON: Well, you guys are so funny.
CHEE: Aw-shucks. He's hitting on me, too.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: Sam, I feel like we could talk to you forever, but we've actually asked you here to play a game that we are calling...
KURTIS: Dum dum.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: That was Bill's beautiful rendition of the "Law & Order" theme. And the only thing more synonymous with Law & Order than you is that famous two-note duh-dum (ph) theme. So we thought we'd ask you about Dum Dum pops, the famous lollipops that you get for free when your mom brings you to the bank.
Bill, who is Sam Waterston playing for?
KURTIS: Sarah Carpenter (ph) of Portland, Ore.
(CHEERING)
CHEE: Sam, no pressure, but her fate rests in your hands. Here is your first question. Mixed in with classic flavors like cherry, cotton candy and cream soda, Dum Dums are famous for having mystery-flavor pops. What is the mystery flavor? A, a brand new flavor designed by the current employee of the month; B, a mix of flavors because they don't clean their machines in between flavors; or C, guava.
WATERSTON: I'm going with C.
CHEE: Do you want to guess again?
(LAUGHTER)
WATERSTON: I want to go with the flavor designed by the employee of the month.
CHEE: Sam, you're killing me.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: I'll give you one more guess.
(LAUGHTER)
WATERSTON: Unclean machines?
CHEE: Yes.
HONG: Ew. Really?
CHEE: Yeah.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
CHEE: We'll give it to him.
TOM PAPA: Yeah.
(APPLAUSE)
CHEE: It's true. Instead of cleaning their machines, they just add in the new flavor and call it mystery flavor...
HONG: Ew.
CHEE: ...Until the previous flavor is all gone. It's gross, but it's efficient, like a plunger.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: Here is your next question. In 1997, Dr. Irving MD became a goodwill ambassador for Dum Dums, sharing the treats with hospital staff. Now, tell me what is unique about Dr. Irving MD? A, he won an award for the pediatrician with the most fun waiting room; B, he is the fifth out of the five doctors who don't want you to choose sugarless gum; or C, he is a Capuchin monkey.
(LAUGHTER)
WATERSTON: I feel fated to get this all wrong too, but I'm going to go with one.
CHEE: OK. We're going to go through the answers again. A, he won an award for the pediatrician with the most fun waiting room; B, he's the fifth out of five doctors who doesn't want you to chew sugarless gum; or C, he's a Capuchin monkey.
(CHEERING)
WATERSTON: OK. I'm going to say C.
CHEE: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
KURTIS: Yeah.
(APPLAUSE)
CHEE: Sam, that's correct. C, he's a monkey, and I don't think his medical license is legit. All right, here's your last question. You've got them both right so far.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: People are going crazy. They're throwing off their shirts.
(LAUGHTER)
CHEE: Here's your last question. Dum Dums have been owned by the Spangler family since 1953, but some members of that family have branched out on their own, including one who has started her own company. That makes candy out of what? A, stem cells; B, compost; C, sugar from six of the seven continents all mixed together.
WATERSTON: I don't know. B?
CHEE: Yes.
KURTIS: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
PAPA: Woo-hoo.
KURTIS: Good guess.
CHEE: Well done. B, the company is called Climate Candy, and they make candy out of imperfect fruits and vegetables that farmers normally throw away. Bill, how did Sam Waterston do on our quiz?
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: Sam is such a good Lincoln, we're going to give him all three right.
(APPLAUSE)
CHEE: Sam, congratulations.
KURTIS: Good job, Sam. Thank you.
(SOUNDBITE OF MIKE POST'S "LAW AND ORDER")
SAGAL: When we come back, a dip into the archive for interviews with Jenny Slate and the Police's Stewart Copeland. That's when we come back with more WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.
KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. And here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago, Ill., Peter Sagal.
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: So it is already October, but this year isn't over yet. So that means we still get to celebrate our 25th anniversary on the air. Now, one of the nice things about being around so long is that we get to talk to really interesting people, and then watch with some pride as they become even more interesting.
KURTIS: For example, actor Jenny Slate recently starred in a hit movie, "Marcel The Shell With Shoes On." When we spoke to her in 2014, though, Marcel was just a delightful series of homemade videos.
SAGAL: In addition to being a shell that can talk, Jenny is also a well-known public radio fan. So I began by asking her if she had grown up being forced to listen to NPR by her parents.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)
JENNY SLATE: Well, I actually am that kid - I used to listen to NPR in the car with my mom all the time. And I got really carsick - I get really carsick. And I would just hear the start of All Things Considered, like the (Imitating All Things Considered theme music).
(LAUGHTER)
SLATE: I would get so scared that I was about to be bored. And the car sickness would ratchet up, and I would just throw up in the car.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So you had this - now you grew up - I love this, that you actually grew up in Milton, Mass, and you went to Milton Academy...
SLATE: I did, I did.
SAGAL: ...Which is a very famous prep school there in Milton. Did growing up as a prep, as they used to say, did that affect your comedy in any way?
SLATE: Ooh, I don't think so? I think the main thing that affected my comedy was that my dad slept in a nightgown for most of my childhood.
(LAUGHTER)
SLATE: And it was just very funny every single night and made me realize that laughter is fun and nightgowns are cool. Yeah (laughter).
SAGAL: You mean like one of those, like, Ebenezer Scrooge deals, with the down-to-the-floor nightgown?
(LAUGHTER)
SLATE: It went down to his ankles. And it was actually a long salmon-colored night shirt that said the word wang on it.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SLATE: That is my truth. Well, he worked for a computer company that also was called Wang.
SAGAL: Yeah.
SLATE: And I guess somebody was like, hey, Ron, here's this nightgown. I'm not exactly sure.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: We have to ask you about Marcel the Shell 'cause it's interesting. Like, all the things you've done, including starring in a film, "The Obvious Child," it's Marcel the Shell. Tell us about him.
SLATE: Sure. Well, he's a character that I created with Dean Fleischer-Camp. And he's a shell. He has a shell body and one eye and two shoes. And he's just sort of an individual. We did it for fun and made it for a little art show in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. And our friends liked it and asked us to put it online so that they could see it again. And people really - they liked it. And he's just - he has, like - (voicing Marcel the Shell) like, a little voice like this. Like, I don't know if you can hear it, but he talks like this.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: He does. And how did it happen? Were you just sitting around your apartment with your husband, and you picked up a little seashell and you started talking like that?
SLATE: Well, no. Actually, I was at a wedding. And at the time, it was, like, me and a bunch of my other friends. And we were trying to save some money, so there were, like, seven of us in one motel room in Pomfret, Conn. And I just felt so squished. And, like, all these boys were - they were all in the bathroom longer than I ever was, and I didn't have any space. And I think something in me kind of snapped, and I was just like, (voicing Marcel the Shell) I'm never getting into the bathroom, you know? And I just started to...
(LAUGHTER)
SLATE: ...Talk in this little voice, or that's how I remember it. And then my best friend Gabe said, well, yeah, that's also kind of true. But never forget that the night before, you drank a million beers, hijacked a karaoke machine, and then jumped up on top of an 18-wheeler. So you broke your brain and then you made art is what happened. That's it.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I see. I was going to ask about - because you've done so many things in comedy. You were a stand-up for a while.
SLATE: Yes.
SAGAL: Is it true that you had trouble with stage fright?
SLATE: Yes. I got terrible stage fright when I moved from New York to Los Angeles. Also, that's when I developed, like, a lot of other weird fears, like fear of coyotes, which is a bummer that continues.
SAGAL: Yeah. You were afraid of coyotes?
SLATE: Oh, big time, big time.
SAGAL: How does the fear of coyotes manifest itself, Jenny?
SLATE: You know, those dogs, I just feel like they're coming for me, I really do.
(LAUGHTER)
SLATE: They're always laughing, yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Yeah, it's like the coyotes are judging you.
SLATE: Yeah. You know, it's just the idea of, like, an organized group about to play a prank on me, and then the prank is that they eat me.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: What's amazing is you live in - you're a comedian in LA. There are so many people who will judge you already. You don't need to bring the animals into it.
(LAUGHTER)
SLATE: That's really true. I've never thought of it that way. I guess I went right past the humans and was like, everyone here is fine. It's these wild dogs that don't like my a**.
SAGAL: Exactly. OK, Jenny Slate, we've invited you here to play a game we're calling...
KURTIS: You're Jenny From the Block.
SAGAL: As hard as you try, as far as you go, you will only be the second most famous Jenny in the world after Jennifer Lopez, the dancer, singer, actor, impresario from the Bronx. So we're going to ask you three questions about J-Lo. Get two right, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, Carl Kasell's voice on their voicemail.
SLATE: OK.
SAGAL: Bill, who is Jenny Slate playing for?
KURTIS: Diane Robinson (ph) of Mainz, Germany.
SAGAL: Mainz, Germany.
KURTIS: I think.
SAGAL: All right. You ready to play, Jenny?
SLATE: I'm ready.
SAGAL: Here we go. Here's your first question. The obsession with Jennifer Lopez's rear end began around 1998 with some crediting a story in the London Times about what it called A, quote, "her backside, her butt, her rear, her rump, her posterior, her gorgeously proud buttocks," unquote; B, quote, "the caboose that won't vamoose;" or C, quote, "her rather well-defined gluteal muscles," unquote.
SLATE: (Laughter) I will go with B.
SAGAL: No. I'm afraid it was A, her backside, her butt, her rear, her rump, her posterior, her gorgeously proud buttocks.
SLATE: Oh.
SAGAL: All right. You still have two more chances. J-Lo was famous for her romantic relationships including her engagement to Ben Affleck and her marriage to singer Marc Anthony. But her first marriage was to whom? A, famed French intellectual Bernard Henry Levi; B, a nice guy from the neighborhood who supported her through the tough times before she started to make it; or C, a waiter at Gloria Estafan's restaurant in Miami?
SLATE: (Laughter) Oh, this is tough stuff. OK, let's go with C.
SAGAL: You're going to go with C? A waiter...
SLATE: The waiter.
SAGAL: ...In Gloria Estafan's restaurant in Miami? And you are right. Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: All right. Well you have one more question. We move forward. So she divorced the waiter and she moved forward. She got engaged famously to Ben Affleck. They became Bennifer, right?
SLATE: Right.
SAGAL: That's what they were called. And they did reportedly draft a prenup that among its provisions stated what? A, they were contractually obligated to have sex four times a week; B, for the duration of their marriage, he would go by B-Aff; or C, they could be instantly divorced just by saying the word "Gigli" three times.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Gigli, gigli, gigli.
SLATE: What was the middle one?
SAGAL: For the duration of their marriage he would have to go by, I guess, B-Aff.
SLATE: A.
SAGAL: You're going to go with A. You are right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SLATE: Yeah.
SAGAL: The London Times reported that their prenup stated they would have to have sex four times a week.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Wow.
SAGAL: Yes. Bill, how did Jenny Slate do on our quiz?
KURTIS: I'll tell you who won, and that was Jenny. Two out of three.
SAGAL: Well done, Jenny.
SLATE: Yay. Oh, good.
SAGAL: Jenny Slate, thank you so much for joining us.
SLATE: Thank you...
MAZ JOBRANI: Bye Jenny.
SLATE: ...For having me. It's been a pleasure.
SAGAL: What fun to have you. Talk to you soon, Jenny. Bye-bye.
SLATE: OK. Bye-bye. Thank you.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "JENNY FROM THE BLOCK")
JENNIFER LOPEZ: (Singing) Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, I'm still - I'm still Jenny from the block. Used to have a little. Now I have a lot. No matter where I go, I know where I came from.
KURTIS: Finally, here's an interview with somebody who's been around even longer than we have. Stewart Copeland began his career in the 1980s as the drummer with The Police and has gone on to a remarkable career as a composer.
SAGAL: Stewart grew up in Beirut, of all places, the son of a diplomat. Or at least that was the story.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)
STEWART COPELAND: Yes, I was a diplobrat. My daddy was a spy.
SAGAL: He was?
COPELAND: Absolutely. He was fighting the Cold War for you and me.
SAGAL: And how long were you in Beirut? When was this? It was like the 50s, 60s?
COPELAND: I was pretty much over there until about 15...
SAGAL: Yeah.
COPELAND: ...Then I - then my father's cover was blown, and he packed his family out of Dodge and sent me to boarding school in England.
SALIE: Stewart, when you were little, did you know your dad was a spy?
COPELAND: No, I didn't find out until I was in college in California....
SALIE: How did that...
COPELAND: ...When he wrote a book.
SALIE: ...Conversation go? Oh, he wrote a book.
COPELAND: I literally found out about it on my - the liner notes of my father's book.
SAGAL: Really?
(LAUGHTER)
COPELAND: Well, there had been kind of whispering on - at school. You know, my brother Miles came home one day and said, Dad, is a true you're a spy? And he looks at him hard and he says, Son, who wants to know?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Woah. So how do you go from being this kid in this boarding school in England to one of the three members of basically the biggest rock band of the 1980s?
COPELAND: From the gutters of London in 1977. That was pretty hardscrabble, too, the punk revolution.
SAGAL: You were in the midst of that, that whole sort of punk thing coming...
COPELAND: Yeah. We were a couple of years too old for it, Stingo and I, we were actual professional musicians. We were about 24.
SAGAL: Did you just call your collaborator Stingo?
COPELAND: Yeah.
SAGAL: Was that his original...
COPELAND: That's one of the nicer things that I call him.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Obviously, you know, The Police became enormously huge. I, you know, you couldn't turn on a radio around 1982 without hearing your songs.
COPELAND: Oh, what can I say?
ADAM FELBER: Was it ever tricky having that be your band name, legally, where you'd go to a hotel...
COPELAND: No. Well...
FELBER: ...And be like, hello, we're The Police, and they'd be...
COPELAND: ...The only trick about it...
FELBER: ...Like, here's $5,000.
COPELAND: Yes, well, a lot of parties ruined. You know, we arrive at a party, you know, we're in some town. Hey, who's throwing the party? Come on down. We go down to the party and we arrive, and we can hear the sound of toilets flushing.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Just out of curiosity, how did you guys pick that name for yourself?
COPELAND: I actually started with the name of Expletive The Police. I found, actually, I've got my diaries from that period, and I've got a list of band names...
SAGAL: Really?
COPELAND: ...Each one lamer than the other.
SALIE: Was it like...
COPELAND: Heavy Artillery, Teeth Attack, London Teeth. I was into teeth for some reason. Teeth. You know, The Jaws Of Hell.
(LAUGHTER)
MIKE BIRBIGLIA: Dentists.
SALIE: How about - yeah, The Mounties.
SAGAL: The Mounties would have been awesome.
COPELAND: No. Well, no, we didn't have any other law enforcement imagery. It was...
SAGAL: Yeah.
COPELAND: ...Mostly teeth.
SAGAL: Teeth.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And you went with, ironically, with an un-tooth name.
COPELAND: Yeah.
SAGAL: Now, you are a professional rock 'n' roll drummer. You were a drummer for one of the great rock bands of all time. You - please be truthful with us. Do you hate drum solos, too? Right?
COPELAND: I played two in my career. One was on the "Letterman" show.
SAGAL: Yeah.
COPELAND: The other was on the Serengeti in Africa, in a cage surrounded by hungry lions, which was a scene for my film, "The Rhythmatist."
SAGAL: Did the lions do what the rest of us do with drum solos and turn around and go get a beer?
COPELAND: No, they did not.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: What did they do?
COPELAND: They had been starved for a few days so as to be photogenically aggressive. The cage that I was playing in was festooned with steak. And the only thing was that these ones here came running right up to the thing, and they're grabbing at the cage. And then I started playing my drums, and then they ran away.
(LAUGHTER)
COPELAND: And so to get the shot, I had to pretend to hit the drums and not actually hit them because they'd all go running off again. So it went off, but they'd come back pretty quick for the meat. One of them got his paw under the cage and his talon stuck into the machine head on the front of the bass drum and was pulling it. It started to go weird. That was the other drum solo I played in my career.
FELBER: That's when it started to get weird?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Oh. Stewart Copeland, what a delight to talk to you. But we have asked you here to play a game we're calling...
CARL KASELL: You Have the Right to Wonder What the Heck I'm Doing.
SAGAL: You are in the band The Police, of course. But what do you know about the real police? We're going to ask you three questions about questionable police tactics. And if you answer two of them right, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners - Carl's voice on their home answering machine. Carl, who is musician Stewart Copeland playing for?
KASELL: Stewart is playing for Peter Jansen (ph) of New Haven, Ind.
SAGAL: All right.
COPELAND: Peter, I'm here for you.
SAGAL: All right. Here we go.
COPELAND: That's right, buddy.
SAGAL: All right, Stewart. Here we go. In 2011, an undercover sting - ha - run by the New York Police Department went terribly wrong. Why? Was it A, before going to the steam room with the suspects, the lead undercover officer forgot about his NYPD forever tattoo? Was it B, they set up a fake barber shop to lure crooks, but the policeman/barber did a terrible job cutting hair? Or, C, the cop who met the suspects kept trying to crack up the guys listening back in the van by making fart noises into his hidden body mic?
COPELAND: Let's go with the last one.
SAGAL: That is...
COPELAND: Come on.
SAGAL: ...A great story.
COPELAND: Let's go with the last one.
SAGAL: It'd be funny. But in fact, it was - the barbershop is what happened.
COPELAND: Ah.
SAGAL: They set up a barbershop, and they had a cop cut hair who didn't know how to cut hair.
COPELAND: Well, that's pretty good. Actually, that's not bad.
SAGAL: So nobody came back to the barbershop, including the other undercover cops.
COPELAND: Right, yeah - who all looked like hell.
SAGAL: It was a disaster. All right, you still have two more chances.
FELBER: Wasn't half as bad as the plastic surgery clinic.
SAGAL: Oh, that'd be a terrible...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...Set-up. Next question - another group of NYPD officers arrested two suspicious youths on a drug charge for possession of what - A, some Jolly Rancher candies; B, a jar of Guy Fieri's Donkey Sauce or, C, a rusty Sham-Wow?
COPELAND: Well, I'm familiar with all three of those things, which equips me perfectly to make a choice.
SAGAL: Please.
COPELAND: I'm going to go with No. 2.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I like your logic, but it was, in fact, the Jolly Rancher candies. The arresting officer thought they were crystal meth.
(LAUGHTER)
COPELAND: Oh, man.
SAGAL: OK, here is your last question. A Tennessee cop got into trouble last August when he fired his service weapon for what reason - A, to signal the start of a pinewood derby race for 8-year-olds; B, to knock his lost frisbee out of a tree or, C, to keep a wild turkey from pooping on his cruiser?
COPELAND: He got fired for any of those things?
SAGAL: Well, he was disciplined for doing these things.
COPELAND: All right.
SAGAL: He was not fired.
COPELAND: OK, No. 1.
SAGAL: You're going to go with the pinewood derby - that he started a pinewood derby race for 8-year-olds, little balsa wood cars. And he fired his gun in the air to start it.
COPELAND: (Vocalizing).
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It was the turkey.
(LAUGHTER)
COPELAND: (Vocalizing).
SAGAL: Now, in his defense...
(APPLAUSE)
BIRBIGLIA: He scores his own conversations.
SAGAL: I love it. In his defense, the guy says, look. I wasn't trying to hit the turkey. It was just a warning shot. But they said, you can't fire your weapon to scare a bird off your police cruiser. They reprimanded him. Carl, how did Stewart Copeland do on our quiz?
KASELL: Not too well, Peter. He had no correct answers out of three choices.
SAGAL: Stewart Copeland is one of the founding members of The Police as well as being an acclaimed composer for film and theater. Stewart Copeland, what fun to talk to you. Thank you so much.
COPELAND: It was a fun show. Bye-bye now.
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