'Wait Wait' for December 16, 2023: Live at Carnegie with Bethenny Frankel
JENNIFER MILLS, BYLINE: The following program was taped in front of an audience of real, live people.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. Take a bite out of me. I'm the Big App-Bill, Bill Kurtis.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
KURTIS: And here is your host at the beautiful Carnegie Hall in New York City, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. We are delighted to be back at Carnegie Hall. I will tell you the truth, though. We were already in New York for Taylor Swift's birthday party.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Later on, we're going to be talking to maybe the greatest Real Housewife of them all, Bethenny Frankel. But first, get a drink ready to throw in our face and give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. It is time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi. You're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
DAVE CONNOR: Hi. This is Dave Connor (ph) in Cleveland, Ohio.
SAGAL: Hey, how are things in Cleveland, that city by the lake?
CONNOR: Just gorgeous, as always.
SAGAL: It really is. What do you do there?
CONNOR: Well, I am a retired Lutheran pastor and full-time grandpa. (Inaudible).
SAGAL: That's good. When you retire from being a Lutheran pastor, do you then, like, start sinning?
(LAUGHTER)
CONNOR: Oh, no. I had that going long, long before that.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Really? OK.
ALZO SLADE: Yeah, buddy.
SAGAL: Well, Dave, it is great to have you with us. Now let's introduce you to our panelists this week. First, a stand-up comedian who writes a weekly email newsletter called That's Marvelous and is going back on tour in the new year. It's Josh Gondelman.
JOSH GONDELMAN: Hello.
(APPLAUSE)
GONDELMAN: Hey. Thank you.
SAGAL: Next, a comedian who will be performing at Rooster T. Feathers in Sunnyvale, Calif., on New Year's Eve weekend and in Montreal, Toronto and Vancouver, Canada in January. It's Helen Hong.
HELEN HONG: Hello. Hi, Dave. Hi, everybody.
(APPLAUSE)
HONG: Hello.
SAGAL: And he is a Peabody- and Emmy Award-winning journalist and comedian and new father. It's Alzo Slade.
SLADE: Hey, hey. What's happening, brother?
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: So Dave, you're going to play Who's Bill This Time? Of course, Bill Kurtis is going to start us off, like he always does, with three quotations from the week's news. Your job - simply identify or explain two of them. Do that - you win our prize, any voice from our show you might choose. Ready to go?
CONNOR: You bet.
SAGAL: All right. Your first quote is from former NFL player Shannon Sharpe.
KURTIS: "Seven hundred million for 10 years? Damn, I played the wrong sport."
SAGAL: Mr. Sharpe was talking about a new record-breaking contract signed this week by what athlete?
CONNOR: Was that Shohei Ohtani?
SAGAL: It was Shohei Ohtani.
CONNOR: Now with the Los Angeles Dodgers.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Very good.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: The LA Dodgers signed Shohei Ohtani to a record-breaking 10-year, $700 million contract. Then they called the rest of the players and the team and ask how they all felt about playing next year just for the love of the game.
(LAUGHTER)
SLADE: Yeah, buddy.
(LAUGHTER)
SLADE: Baby just born. I put a baseball bat in one hand and a...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Really?
SLADE: ...Mitt in the other.
SAGAL: You have a 2-week-old son.
SLADE: Oh, yeah. I'm ready.
SAGAL: It's never too early...
SLADE: Never too early.
SAGAL: ...To get him going, to get that big contract.
SLADE: Seven hundred million?
SAGAL: Seven hundred million for 10 years.
HONG: I agree on behalf of all the Asians that...
(LAUGHTER)
HONG: ...This should put to rest every Asian parent saying that we should become doctors and lawyers.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
HONG: Let's go full athletics, kids.
SAGAL: That's fabulous. Helen, for you and all your people...
HONG: Yes.
SAGAL: ...It will be a whole new way to disappoint.
HONG: I mean, come on.
GONDELMAN: Jews - we still have to be doctors and lawyers.
SAGAL: Pretty much, yeah. We're stuck, man.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Yeah. Josh and I sized each other up and go, yeah, we'll just stick with the old ways. With this contract, he's made history. Mr. Otani will be the highest-paid athlete ever to tear his ACL in the first week of the season.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Now, with all of these contracts, though, this is always the case. The big headline number, 700 million - but then you have to read the fine print, see how it works. The 700 million will be in coupons redeemable at any concession stand in Dodger Stadium.
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: That's, like, three beers.
SAGAL: It really is.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, now that they signed Shohei Ohtani for 700 million, it is.
HONG: And half a hot dog.
SAGAL: This is interesting. I mean, as Shannon Sharpe - this is such a big contract, other incredibly well-paid athletes were going, whoa, boy. Like LeBron James, right? He has made $479 million in salary his entire career. And he has been playing basketball for 75 years.
(LAUGHTER)
SLADE: Poor fella. Poor fella.
SAGAL: You know, $700 million. That's an amount of money that makes even people who don't care about baseball Google, Shohei Ohtani single?
(LAUGHTER)
HONG: Oh, that was the first thing I did.
SAGAL: Really?
HONG: Oh, absolutely.
SAGAL: Yeah.
HONG: And now he's going to live in my town? Hell yeah.
SAGAL: Absolutely. All right. Your next quote is from CNN. And it's about a hypothetical situation you might - well, we hope not - but you might face.
KURTIS: Is there anybody on board who can land this plane?
SAGAL: According to a new survey done by serious poll takers, 50% of whom think they could land a plane if they had to, with no training?
CONNOR: Men.
SAGAL: Men. Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: That is the answer.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Fifty percent of men told these pollsters that, yeah, they thought if they had to, they could land a plane. I mean, sure, there's like a hundred buttons and dials in the cockpit, but most of them are just for ordering food from the flight attendant, right? I mean, it's easy to - I mean, I'm a man. It's easy to land a plane. You point it at the ground. You stick out the wheels. And you stop when your windshield hits the tennis ball hanging from a string.
(LAUGHTER)
HONG: I'm going to go out on a limb and say 50% of men can't put together Ikea furniture correctly. So...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That's because we're all thinking about how to land a plane.
GONDELMAN: The other 50% of us, Helen. But this - wait. We - Alzo, you can land a plane.
SLADE: I can, yeah.
HONG: Can you really?
SAGAL: You can land a plane?
SLADE: Yes. I have a pilot's license. Yes.
HONG: What?
(APPLAUSE)
HONG: So 50%...
SLADE: So 50% of the men on this stage can land a plane.
HONG: Whoa.
SLADE: But I will tell you this. Like, I fly - I know how to fly, like, the puddle jumpers...
SAGAL: Little planes.
SLADE: ...Single-engine propeller planes. So if we were in, like, a 747...
HONG: Oh, yeah.
SLADE: ...And they're like, does anybody know how to land this plane, I really believe - I think that I could land it if the communications and all of that was still proper. Nobody would die. But you would not be able to use the plane again. I'm sorry.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It would instantly become one of those disposable one-use things.
SLADE: Exactly.
SAGAL: Use once, throw away.
SLADE: Exactly.
HONG: Have you seen the cockpit. They're so - I've looked in there and been like, jeesh.
SAGAL: There's a lot of little dials.
HONG: They need to pay you guys more.
SAGAL: This is because, obviously, men watch too many dumb action movies
GONDELMAN: Yeah.
SAGAL: Men also think that - can, like - could win a gunfight, infiltrate a villain's lair, romance a supermodel.
SLADE: Hundred percent.
SAGAL: Right? There's - men you should watch the "Great British Bake Off." Then your delusions at least won't get anybody killed.
SLADE: I mean, even, like when you watch movies - I watch "Top Gun." I think I could, you know, do a dogfight in an F-16.
SAGAL: You see?
HONG: Well, anybody with the - (imitating "Top Gun" music)...
SLADE: You know what I'm saying?
HONG: Like, anybody can do anything. You've got a soundtrack for it.
SAGAL: That's the thing...
SLADE: And then I'm flying a jet with my shirt off, with my dog tags hanging on my chest hairs, all of that.
GONDELMAN: I watched "Top Gun." I'm not even convinced I could play volleyball.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right. Here is your last quote.
KURTIS: One ball, please.
SAGAL: That was an Ikea customer ordering Ikea's hottest new product for the holidays, a giant what?
CONNOR: Swedish meatball.
SAGAL: You're exactly right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Yes.
(APPLAUSE)
KURTIS: That is right.
SAGAL: Very good.
KURTIS: Wow.
SAGAL: Ikea, of course, the furniture store famous for the Swedish meatballs they serve at their in-store cafes. So in the U.K., they're going one better for this holiday season - a brand-new Swedish meatball that is roughly the size of a turkey. It feeds 25 people. It weighs 10 pounds, is bigger than a basketball. At that size, it's less a meatball, more of a meat moon.
(LAUGHTER)
HONG: Wait, is this something that you can get at the counter, like, while you're buying your furniture?
SAGAL: Not - I wish, but not yet. The way it's working is they're rolling it out as a special prize for 30 lucky people who win a lottery, right? So it's like getting a golden ticket. It's like Willy Wonka and the slaughterhouse.
(LAUGHTER)
SLADE: Winning a 10-pound meatball is not luck, bro.
(LAUGHTER)
SLADE: Like, you would - the same cart that you have to load the furniture on would be the same cart you have to put that meatball on.
SAGAL: Yeah. You get a Franjet and a Jlabet (ph) and a meatball.
SLADE: Yeah.
SAGAL: You roll them out, man, you know?
HONG: Is it made of the same - is it the same as an actual Ikea Swedish meatball?
SAGAL: Well, it's Ikea, so the veneer is really gorgeous, but inside...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...It's just particle meat.
HONG: Just sawdust.
SAGAL: Yeah. Bill, how did Dave do on our quiz?
KURTIS: I think our preacher has a new calling. He got them all right.
SAGAL: Well done.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you, Dave.
CONNOR: Thanks, Peter.
SAGAL: Bye-bye.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "MEAT MAN")
JERRY LEE LEWIS: (Singing) They call me to mean man. You ought to see me eat now. I'm the meat man.
SAGAL: Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Alzo, you've all been there. We've all been there. You've hosted a great party, but it's going late, and you'd like everybody to go home. Well, Martha Stewart, in an interview this week, revealed the four magic words she says will help end that party almost instantly. What are those four words?
SLADE: Take your ass home.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That would work. And, you know, she's pretty much unleashed now. I can imagine her saying that.
SLADE: Yes.
SAGAL: But that's not what she suggested.
SLADE: Can I have a hint?
SAGAL: You can. To emphasize the point, she often puts on pajamas first.
HONG: Oh.
SLADE: It's time to sleep.
SAGAL: I'll give it to you. She says, I'm going to bed.
HONG: Oh.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: That's what she does. This is a hosting secret known only to social mavens and empresses like Martha Stewart and everybody over 50. Also effective, if you want to get people to leave, say things like my 12-year-old niece is going to sing for us now. And does this look like pinkeye to you?
(LAUGHTER)
HONG: I was going with - because she has gotten wild over the past few years. I was thinking it would be it's orgy time, y'all.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Yeah. The y'all for that important fourth word.
HONG: Yeah.
SLADE: But that's not - I don't think that's revolutionary, though.
SAGAL: No. I'm telling you the truth. I literally have done this.
HONG: You have?
SAGAL: I have.
HONG: You've put on your pajamas?
SAGAL: I have not put on my pajamas. But I have said to the assembled, I'm glad everybody's having a lovely time. I am going to bed.
SLADE: I don't even go that far. You've never seen a long, dramatic yawn unless you've seen me at a party where - everybody to go home.
SAGAL: Wow.
SLADE: I can yawn for, like, a good 3 minutes. I want everybody to see me yawning and stretched out.
SAGAL: People are, like, staring and going, my God, what a yawn. Is his head going to turn inside out? Oh, my God.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "THE PARTY'S OVER")
WILLIE NELSON: (Singing) Turn out the lights. The party's over.
SAGAL: Coming up, our panelists get their ears lowered. It's our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT, WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Josh Gondelman, Helen Hong and Alzo Slade. And here again is your host at Carnegie Hall in New York City, Peter Sagal.
SAGAL: Thank you so much, Bill. Thank you, everybody.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Right now, it is time for the WAIT, WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi. You are on WAIT, WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
KATHY MILLER: Hello?
SAGAL: Hello. Who's this?
MILLER: This is Kathy Miller (ph) from Roseville, Minn.
SAGAL: Roseville, Minn., which is not far from St. Paul, I know. I've spent a lot of good years there. And, Kathy, I'm just going to say this - on brief acquaintance, you sound like a Minnesotan.
MILLER: (Laughter) Lifelong Minnesotan.
SAGAL: Oh. It does my heart...
SLADE: Minnesotan.
SAGAL: ...Good. What do you do there?
MILLER: I am a recently retired infection preventionist.
SAGAL: Infection...
MILLER: I...
SAGAL: ...Preventionist.
SLADE: What kind of infections?
MILLER: Yes - stuff like, you know, clean your hands. And masks work. And vaccines prevent deaths - those kinds of things.
HONG: Wear a condom.
SAGAL: Yeah.
SLADE: Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
(LAUGHTER)
MILLER: Wear a condom - exactly right.
SLADE: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SLADE: She got excited about that last one there.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Kathy, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Kathy's topic?
KURTIS: Three guys walk into a barbershop.
SAGAL: Only two things tend to happen at barbershops - haircuts and perfect four-part harmony. Well, this week we read about something very different that happened when some people walked into a barbershop. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win the WAIT WAITer of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?
MILLER: Yes, I am.
SAGAL: All right. First, let's hear from Josh Gondelman.
GONDELMAN: Since opening in 2006, the Coeur d'Alene salon Wild Styles (ph) has been known for providing some of Idaho's most exotic hairdos - the kind of cuts most often seen in metropolitan hubs like Scranton and Duluth.
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: But for some of the region's upscale libertarian clientele, the word exotic barely covers it. According to a recent report from KBOI's Eye on Idaho, the salon also functioned as an underground groomer for illegal endangered pets. Treatments included a cut and color to touch up the gray roots on a red panda and an early aughts ombre do to add a little flair to a black-footed ferret. The salon started expanding its offerings. Penguins began flocking to get their feathers as feathered as Jon Bon Jovi's hair in the '80s. They even offered an iridescent nails and scales treatment for rare lizards, known among customers as an iguan-icure (ph).
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: The operation came crashing down both literally and figuratively when a local rancher brought his Sumatran rhino in for a chemical peel, and the ungulate became irritated and destroyed the facility - although some locals believe it was actually two members of PETA in a rhinoceros suit.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: A Idaho barbershop where they were doing grooming of illegal pets. Your next great story of some clips comes from Helen Hong.
HONG: When Nebraska barbershop Shears To You (ph) you ran out of shaving cream, they improvised. Head barber Jamie Dillon (ph) comes from a long line of dairy farmers. So naturally, he had a ton of dairy cream lying around. We just whipped it up, and boom, shaving cream but more delicious. The customers enjoyed the experience so much, the Sweet and Scrumptious shave was added to the regular menu of services. But why stop there? Dillon explained. Now we're the first ever farm-to-table barbershop.
(LAUGHTER)
HONG: Other services include the Bone Broth Hair Wash, the Sheep Experience, where Dillon lovingly grabs you by the nape of the neck and removes all your hair with electric shears.
(LAUGHTER)
HONG: And the Burrata Blowout, where a creamy mix of milk and mozzarella is used as a styling gel. And you can smell that musk in the aftershave was in the goat that morning.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: A farm-to-table barber...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...With fresh farm products. Your last story to make the cut comes from Alzo Slade.
SLADE: For centuries, the barbershop has been a community hub where people not only go to get a fresh haircut and shave but also social enrichment. It's a safe place to joke, converse about sports, politics, relationships and a bunch of stuff you probably wouldn't get away with saying anywhere else. Barbershops have also been known to be a place of commerce beyond the grooming sort. If you want to buy socks, deodorant or gold chains you can't wear in the shower, a barbershop is the spot. When it comes to this minor illegal activity, most law enforcement will ignore it. However, one barbershop in Italy started dabbling in major illegal activity - drugs. What tipped the authorities off, you might ask? Well, there were a bunch of bald-headed guys going into the barbershop.
(LAUGHTER)
SLADE: The only hair on their head was their eyebrows, and they weren't going there to get those threaded. So the police raided the shop to find hashish and 100 grams of cocaine with materials to package the drugs. When asked if he had any regrets about running a major drug operation out of a barbershop, the barber replied, clearly, a toupee shop would've been better.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right. These are your choices. One of these things...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...Happened recently in a barbershop. Was it from Josh Gondelman, a barber in Idaho revealed to be offering grooming for illegal exotic pets; from Helen Hong, a barber that invented farm-to-table haircare with fresh milk being put on your face; or from Alzo Slade, a barbershop in Italy that drew the attention of police because these bald guys kept going in there?
MILLER: (Laughter). Well, they all sound fun...
GONDELMAN: (Laughter).
MILLER: ...But I think the right one would be Alzo Slade's the bald guys going into the barbershop.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: All right. You're choosing Alzo's story. The sophisticated crowd here in New York City agrees with you. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we will now hear from someone who was familiar with the real story.
NICHOLAS: I definitely don't think there are a lot of services that a completely bald guy (laughter) could get at a barbershop.
MILLER: (Laughter).
NICHOLAS: So there's definitely some suspicion there.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: That was Nicholas - he's a barber at Gabby's Barber Shop in Chicago - weighing in on how suspicious a bunch of bald men in a barbershop really are. I just want to say, here's a reason we go in there - nostalgia.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Congratulations, Kathy. You got it right. Alzo was telling the truth. He wins a point. You win our prize. They got arrested. Everybody won in this particular scenario.
(LAUGHTER)
MILLER: Thank you, thank you.
SAGAL: Thank you, Kathy. Take care.
(SOUNDBITE OF BECK SONG, "DEVILS HAIRCUT")
SAGAL: And now it's time for the game we call Not My Job. If you know one Real Housewife, it would probably be Bethenny Frankel. She was a Real Housewife of New York, then the star of her own reality show, then the host of a TV talk show. She is a socialite, an influencer, a serial entrepreneur and the owner of the world's largest business card. We'll let her tell us about the rest. Bethenny Frankel, welcome to WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
(APPLAUSE)
BETHENNY FRANKEL: Wait a minute.
SAGAL: I know. I skipped a lot.
FRANKEL: No.
SAGAL: What?
FRANKEL: Who said socialite? I'm not a socialite.
SAGAL: You're not a socialite.
FRANKEL: No.
SAGAL: OK. I'm going to say something.
FRANKEL: OK.
SAGAL: Because that - I'm going to say that was my add. And the reason was - and you can tell me I'm wrong...
SLADE: Uh-oh.
SAGAL: But - because I don't know anything about this, but I was listening to your podcast. You know everybody. You were telling a story on a recent episode about how you went to a party in Saint Barts on Paul Allen's (ph) yacht, and you ran into Martha Stewart, who you used to work for. And you were there as the beard for another famous woman. And I'm like, you know everybody.
FRANKEL: That was - I do know everybody, but I'm not social, believe it or not. And I'm not light. I'm heavy.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: OK. You're a social heavy.
FRANKEL: Yes.
SAGAL: Excuse me. Well, let me start here because, as I indicated, I find it very hard to describe what you do quickly. So what do you say - if you ran into the one person in this earth who had never heard of you...
FRANKEL: OK.
SAGAL: ...What would you say that you do?
FRANKEL: I would probably say to that person, I'm a media personality from reality TV. I have multiple podcasts. I've written 10 books. I invented the skinny margarita and then sold the brand Skinnygirl, the cocktail version. I have a bunch of different product lines.
SAGAL: So would the origin story part of - would that be "Real Housewives" or does it go back further? What do you think?
FRANKEL: Of the public part of it?
SAGAL: Sort of your career in the public eye.
FRANKEL: My premiere was being coming in second on Martha Stewart's "Apprentice."
SAGAL: Of course, yes.
FRANKEL: Hence the story you were talking about.
SAGAL: Hence the story where you saw Martha Stewart after you came in second.
FRANKEL: Days after I didn't get the job. And she was standing there talking to Jon Bon Jovi, and she said - and I was wearing the biggest F-U dress I have ever owned. It is like something that you can only wear, like, on the tail end of your 30s. You're pushing it. And I walked onto this boat, and I saw her, and she was talking to Jon Bon Jovi. And she said to him, this is Bethenny. She - I didn't give her the job as my apprentice, so she's mad at me. I said, Martha, you're like an ex-boyfriend that I hate but I'm still in love with.
SAGAL: Wow.
SLADE: Wait a minute.
FRANKEL: That was...
SLADE: So we have beef with Martha Stewart?
FRANKEL: No, we just made up.
SLADE: Oh.
FRANKEL: It wasn't real beef. It was sort of like frenemy, I wasn't at her level anyway beef. But recently, we ran into each other at the Jingle Ball, and she was really lovely. For the first time, I felt like we were on each other's level. And I felt that she accepted me. But I felt accepting of myself. And it was like a really nice, full circle moment.
HONG: Did she come out in pajamas at any point and go, it's time to go to sleep?
SAGAL: No. I wanted to ask. I have to say, in NPR terms, what exactly is a to-heck-with-you dress?
FRANKEL: This was a dress that I - back when I was broke, I clubbed somebody over the head for it at a sample sale. Like, they have these sample sales. It was a Dolce Gabbana sample sale, and it was 90% off. And it was - it had these open panels on the side and only laces holding it together. And it was satin. And it was a bustier. And I said, I'm - this is where I'm going to wear this dress. I knew I was going to see Martha Stewart after her not giving me the job. And I had wanted that job so badly. I needed that job. And I - that was the F-U dress. It was just like, this is going to be this dress's moment.
HONG: That sounds more like an F-me dress.
FRANKEL: That's so true. It's a one-night stand dress.
SAGAL: Yes then was "Real Housewives," am I right?
FRANKEL: Then was "Real Housewives." Yes.
SAGAL: And you were not in any - were you actually a housewife? Because I think one of your taglines was I'm not a housewife.
FRANKEL: You're so good. You did so much research. I'm so impressed. I'm not a housewife, but I am real. Yes. Back then...
(LAUGHTER)
FRANKEL: But they are real, but they're not. But back then...
SLADE: Whoa.
FRANKEL: Back then, I lived in a small apartment that was furnished by Ikea. And the housewives would never cast someone like that now. But it was a new show that really hadn't established itself yet, and I was the question mark character. The other women were wealthy women, like, getting facials and driving expensive rented cars. And I was this question mark character. And so that's why they cast me as not a housewife.
SAGAL: Right. And if I remember, in the first few seasons, the other women mysteriously died, and they never pinned it on you.
(LAUGHTER)
FRANKEL: That's how I became so successful.
SAGAL: I have to ask. The shows - the "Real Housewives" shows are famous for the drama.
FRANKEL: Yes.
SAGAL: The fights, the feuds, the yelling, the hair pulls. How real is that?
FRANKEL: It's real in that it's really happening. But it's sort of - if I put five of you just randomly into an elevator and just gave you a lot of alcohol and told each other all of your secrets, and that was the rule that everybody had to bring everything up, and you were there for like four months, and how you guys would feel...
GONDELMAN: This is an amazing - like, what you said literally is an amazing pitch for a show. And I think we all need to go out to the networks with "Survivorvater" (ph).
SLADE: I've just got one question. You made a line of beverages. Do you have a favorite one of your beverages to throw in another woman's face if need be?
FRANKEL: Oh. No, I do, because my new wine, it's a rose, and it's called Forever Young. So if I could throw youth on another housewife, forget about it. They want - that's all they're chasing.
SAGAL: Wouldn't you use red, though, if you want to stain?
FRANKEL: Well, if I liked the housewife, I would use rose because they would just have that flush tone forever.
GONDELMAN: Back to the beverages for one moment, you - Skinnygirl margarita, huge hit. When will you release a beverage for me? And I'm pitching egg-shaped man martinis.
(LAUGHTER)
FRANKEL: That might do well. There is a restaurant called Eggslut.
GONDELMAN: There we go.
FRANKEL: And it does well.
GONDELMAN: Look.
SLADE: What did she just call you?
GONDELMAN: Look. I'll take it. You make me the face of that brand? I'll be your little egg slut.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, it is really a pleasure to talk to you. And we have invited you here to the stage of Carnegie Hall to play a little game with us, a game that this time we're calling...
HONG: Real Housewife Meet Real Husbandry.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So we wanted to know, what do you know about real husbandry? Meaning, obviously, animal husbandry. We're going to ask you three questions about people who take care of animals. Get two of these right, and you will win a prize for one of our listeners. Who...
FRANKEL: People who take care of animals. OK.
SAGAL: Who is Bethenny Frankel playing for?
KURTIS: Terry Hershey (ph) of Fort Wayne, Ind.
SAGAL: All right.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Three questions. Multiple choice. You've handled more stressful situations.
FRANKEL: OK.
SAGAL: Here's your first question. The research paper in 1998 found that caretakers of ostriches - ostriches...
FRANKEL: OK.
SAGAL: ...Face a unique problem. What is it? A, the birds get super offended when you mix them up with emus, B, the birds constantly hit on their human caretakers, or C, vicious maulings.
FRANKEL: B.
SAGAL: You're going to go - yes, you're right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
FRANKEL: What?
SAGAL: The ostriches - 70% of the time, ostriches cared for (ph) humans become romantically attached. Next question.
FRANKEL: OK.
SAGAL: You go back and you read the Richmond Independent newspaper in 1872, and that newspaper described a huge mistake made by someone taking care of cows in that region. What was it? A, he picked a terrible time to get directly behind a cow and lift her tail while holding a lit cigar in his mouth, B, he attempted to prove the cow's value by entering one in the Kentucky Derby, and it finished eight days later, or C, he insulted a cow by asking it if it could possibly give oat milk instead.
FRANKEL: A.
SAGAL: You're right. Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This made - methane is flammable. And it was such a conflagration, it made the Richmond Independent. All right. Again, very confident.
FRANKEL: I mean, what else can you be?
SAGAL: All right. Last question. I imagine you'll get this correctly because that's how you roll. A website called The Prairie Homestead offers advice to farmers such as 10 reasons your milk cow is kicking. What is No. 10 on that list? A, you're playing the song "Dancing Queen," and famously, no cow can resist that beat, B, your cow might just hate you, or C, oops, you're trying to milk a bull.
(LAUGHTER)
FRANKEL: C.
SAGAL: C, trying to milk a bull.
FRANKEL: I thought it was B. My gut instinct was B.
SAGAL: You're going to go with your instinct?
FRANKEL: I thought.
SAGAL: It is right. That's what happened. There you go.
FRANKEL: Wow.
SLADE: Thank God. Thank God it was not C.
SAGAL: All right. Bill, how did Bethenny Frankel do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Three in a row.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Congratulations. Bethenny. All right. I've got to ask you one last thing. I've never had the occasion to ever ask anyone this question. I may never again. Forgive me for grabbing this opportunity. Who are you wearing?
FRANKEL: Oh, thank you for asking, because I didn't know before, and someone told me - ALC. This is an oldie but a goodie. I've had this for years. These are Saint Laurent. Also, they're older than my daughter, who's 13, something I've had for a long time.
SLADE: On behalf of all the panelists here, we are offended you did not ask one of us what we are wearing.
FRANKEL: A fit check.
SAGAL: Bethenny Frankel is reality show royalty, a media superstar and influencer, a podcaster and the founder of Skinnygirl. Her podcast, "Just B," can be found wherever you get your podcasts. Give it up for Bethenny Frankel. Thank you so much.
FRANKEL: Thank you so much.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "I'M REAL (MURDER REMIX)")
JENNIFER LOPEZ: (Singing) 'Cause I'm real.
JA RULE: (Singing) The way you stare, the way you look, your style, your hair.
LOPEZ: (Singing) 'Cause I'm real.
JA RULE: (Singing) The way you smile, the way you smell...
SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill reveals how Mickey Mouse gets his makeup just right in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.
KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT, WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Helen Hong, Alzo Slade and Josh Gondelman. And here again is your host at Carnegie Hall in New York City, Peter Sagal.
SAGAL: Thank you so much, Bill. Thank you, everybody. In just a minute...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...Bill plays rhyme-deer games with rhyme-dolph the rhyme-nosed rhyme-deer (ph) in our Listener Limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Helen, White Claw, as I'm sure you know, essentially created an entirely new genre of beverages with their alcoholic seltzers, right? This week, they announced their newest innovation in the beverage space. What is it?
HONG: Nonalcoholic seltzers.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The company announced that their new product is going to be called White Claw 0% Alcohol.
HONG: (Laughter).
SAGAL: They've invented seltzer.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
SLADE: They just Christopher Columbused seltzer.
SAGAL: They really did.
GONDELMAN: They...
SAGAL: Nobody's been here before.
GONDELMAN: This is stolen Jewish valor, frankly.
SAGAL: It really is, actually, yeah.
HONG: I think they missed an opportunity with the naming. It should have been White Paw.
GONDELMAN: Aw.
SAGAL: Aw.
HONG: Don't you think that would have been so much cuter? - like, White Claw - (imitating hissing). White Paw - (imitating meow).
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: Yeah, at a party and - do you want a paw or a claw? And you're, like, paw me, I'm driving.
SAGAL: Or how about, like, White Gnaw?
HONG: Aw.
SAGAL: But seriously, this is great. It's the perfect beverage for when you don't want to drink alcohol, but you still want that White Claw stigma.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Helen, the latest craze on TikTok is women tripping up their boyfriends by just turning to them with a camera on and asking them to name a what?
SLADE: This sounds bad already.
(LAUGHTER)
HONG: Can you name a what?
SAGAL: Can you name a what?
HONG: A Taylor Swift song? Can I have a hint?
SAGAL: It's much more basic than that than something specific.
HONG: Much more basic?
SAGAL: It's - like, Mitt Romney would have been would have been able to do this. He had binders full of them.
HONG: Women.
SAGAL: Yes. Can you name a woman?
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
HONG: What?
SLADE: What?
SAGAL: This is the new TikTok challenge. Women surprise their boyfriends on camera and say, quick, name a woman.
SLADE: It's a...
HONG: And they don't say, my mom?
SAGAL: Well, that's the thing.
SLADE: It's a trap, fellas. Don't do it.
SAGAL: It's a trap. It's a trap.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It's a trap.
SLADE: Save yourself.
SAGAL: Right, 'cause what happens is...
HONG: You say the woman - you say the name of the woman that you're trying to bang.
SAGAL: Well, yeah...
HONG: (Gasping).
SAGAL: ...Which - no, hold on...
GONDELMAN: Oh, no. My wife tried that to me, and I said, Toni Morrison.
SAGAL: Oh, no.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, this is what happens, right?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So it's a trap because men are, like, oh, God, I got to name an impressive woman. I know. And they name, like, Toni Morrison. And they're, like, oh, you're not thinking of me, are you? And it's, like, why are you going to the trouble to have us embarrass ourselves? Just wait.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: We'll do it, right? It's especially bad if the guy gets nervous and just shouts, porn lady.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Josh, "Last Christmas" by Wham! - I'm sure you know - holiday classic - so much so that in the U.K. there is a Christmas tradition called Whamageddon celebrated by thousands now around the world where everybody competes to do what?
GONDELMAN: Oh, I know this. Everybody competes to go the longest without hearing that song.
SAGAL: That's exactly right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: A decade ago, a group of friends in the U.K. started a tradition called Whamageddon where the winner is whoever avoids hearing Wham!'s "Last Christmas" the longest. And they're doing great. In 2017, one member of the group made it 12 minutes.
(LAUGHTER)
HONG: Wait. So if you're, like, in a department store and they just started playing it, you just got to run out?
SAGAL: No, it turns out you lose. If you hear...
HONG: Oh.
SAGAL: ...A note of the song, you're done.
HONG: Oh.
SAGAL: You're out. So...
HONG: And you can't just go, (vocalizing)? Nope, nope, nope, nope.
SAGAL: No, you can't. If - like, 'cause you have to, like, be careful where you go. You have to be careful who you talk to, careful whose car you get into.
SLADE: Oh, so if somebody sings it, it's...
SAGAL: It's done. You're done.
HONG: So you could - so other members could sabotage you.
SAGAL: Right. But the problem is, I mean, they're able to do this song because the song is ubiquitous but not constant. Can you imagine trying to do it with "All I Want For Christmas Is You?" The only way you could win is to go back in time and convince Mariah Carey's parents into staying single.
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: I would go back in time and be, like, Mariah Carey, have I got a song for you. (Singing) Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel...
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
GONDELMAN: Just putting it out there.
(SOUNDBITE OF BOOKER T. AND THE M.G.'S' "JINGLE BELLS")
SAGAL: Coming up, it's Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks back at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, or come see us on the road. For more tickets and information for all of our live shows, go to nprpresents.org. And follow us on Instagram @waitwaitnpr. You won't regret it. You might even like it. Hi. You're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
YIGAL RECHTMAN: Hello, this is Yigal Rechtman from Fort Lee, N.J.
SAGAL: Fort Lee, N.J. - yes, fellow...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...New Jerseyan.
HONG: What an impressive voice.
SLADE: Can we talk about the voice, though?
SAGAL: That's a heck of a voice.
HONG: Wow. That's, like, a Bill Kurtis.
SAGAL: Yeah, Bill, did you feel a cold wind?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: What do you do there in New - great state of New Jersey?
RECHTMAN: I'm a forensic accountant and a family historian.
SAGAL: A forensic accountant and a family historian - so do you do...
RECHTMAN: The second is a hobby, yes.
SAGAL: Right. Do you do family histories for other people's families?
RECHTMAN: As it turns out, I do, yeah.
SAGAL: Right. Do you ever, like, find yourself delivering really bad news, but it sounds OK 'cause it's in that voice?
(LAUGHTER)
RECHTMAN: Oh, no.
SAGAL: Oh, really?
RECHTMAN: It's all good news. It's all good news - yes.
SAGAL: It's all - you only find out good news.
RECHTMAN: Right. I, like - I helped my parents' neighbor to find out his cousins in England, and it turns out that the neighbor and I are cousins, too.
SAGAL: There you are. I have to say, I just love the fact of you going to your cousin and saying, it's amazing, we're related, and your cousin going, (impersonating Yigal Rechtman) whoever would have known?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Yigal. You are going to play our Listener Limerick Challenge. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play?
RECHTMAN: Yes.
SAGAL: All right. Here is your first limerick.
KURTIS: Mice like surfaces shinier, clearer. Hey, hottie, I see you. Step nearer. I like what I see 'cause that there - that's me. Mice know who they are in a...
RECHTMAN: Mirror.
SAGAL: Right.
KURTIS: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Science is very good. Yes, mirror. Scientists have discovered that mice have the ability to recognize themselves in a mirror. The findings come from a larger study inquiring into why mice take so long in the bathroom.
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: I love the idea of, like, a mouse just hyping itself up in the mirror, just like (impersonating Mickey Mouse) I'm a great big, beautiful, shining star.
(LAUGHTER)
SLADE: That's Mickey Mouse.
GONDELMAN: That's from "Boogie Mice," yeah.
SAGAL: Oh, OK.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Here's your next limerick.
KURTIS: Fruits lost out in space - where do they go? There's no place for my produce to lay low. I can't recreate it, and they think I ate it. Where is my ripe red...
RECHTMAN: I'm stumped - tango.
SAGAL: Ripe red - rhymes with ay-to (ph).
RECHTMAN: Potato.
KURTIS: Yeah.
SAGAL: No, not quite...
KURTIS: No, no, not potato.
SAGAL: ...Potato, right?
(LAUGHTER)
RECHTMAN: Tomato.
SAGAL: Tomato, yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Yay, tomato.
(APPLAUSE)
RECHTMAN: I stumped it (ph).
SAGAL: The first ever tomato grown in space has been found. In other news, NASA lost the first ever tomato...
HONG: What?
SAGAL: ...Grown in space. Earlier this year, an astronaut named Frank Rubio grew a tomato on the ISS, but then somehow misplaced it. And Rubio has spent the year since denying accusations that he ate the tomato...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...Which doesn't seem like that big a deal, but I guess when you're stuck together in the space station, everything becomes huge drama. It's like, Frank, we live in a tube. Where could you have put it?
SLADE: He definitely ate it.
SAGAL: He definitely ate it.
SLADE: He definitely ate it.
SAGAL: No, they found it.
SLADE: Oh, they did?
SAGAL: NASA actually - they called a press conference.
HONG: What?
SAGAL: Everybody showed up. Press conference in NASA - they said we have a big announcement. We have found the tomato.
SLADE: Where was it?
HONG: In Frank's mouth.
SAGAL: No, it was somewhere on the space station, like, hidden behind a...
GONDELMAN: Feels a little suspicious to be like, we found definitely the same tomato.
SAGAL: Right.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: People were so disappointed 'cause it was like we were hoping for aliens. Like, no, we're alone in the universe, but we will have salads.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right, here is your last limerick.
KURTIS: To audio trends, I'm no stranger, so I've got a new music arranger. I can play all my discs without any skips. I just bought a new five-CD...
RECHTMAN: Changer.
SAGAL: Changer - yes.
KURTIS: There it is.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Yamaha...
KURTIS: You were right.
SAGAL: ...Has released a brand new high-tech, state-of-the-art five-disc CD changer, a perfect gift for anyone who lives in 1997.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Yamaha explained, they said, well, you know, vinyl is back, right? And then cassettes were back for a while, and CDs were supposed to be better than those, right? So you want this, right? If it sells, Yamaha will roll out their next must-have audio component in the new year, a traveling medieval bard.
(LAUGHTER)
SLADE: I could just see teenagers looking at the CD player, like, tapping it, sniffing it, like, (impersonating caveman) ooga booga, what is this?
SAGAL: Like the apes at the beginning of 2001.
SLADE: Exactly.
HONG: Why a five-CD changer? We don't need that many.
SAGAL: 'Cause it's the thing.
HONG: Start with the one 'cause you only have one CD at this point.
SAGAL: Right.
(LAUGHTER)
SLADE: What they...
SAGAL: You have to get them off - you have to go out and get your CDs off the bushes where you tied them to scare away birds.
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: Yeah. The last thing CDs are being used for is to see if mice can recognize their own faces.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Yigal do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Yigal got two out of three, and that is a win.
SAGAL: Congratulations, Yigal.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Well done.
RECHTMAN: Thank you very much. Thank you.
SAGAL: Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can - each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
KURTIS: Josh and Helen each have two. Alzo has three.
SAGAL: All right.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Well, why don't we say, then, arbitrarily, since Helen and Josh are in second place, Josh, I'll pick you to go first.
GONDELMAN: OK.
SAGAL: Here we go. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the House approved a formal impeachment inquiry against blank.
GONDELMAN: President Biden.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, the defamation trial against former Trump lawyer blank began in Washington.
GONDELMAN: Rudy Giuliani?
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, electric carmaker blank recalled more than 2 million vehicles.
GONDELMAN: Tesla?
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: According to a new study, owning a dog reduces dementia risk by 40%. And owning a cat reduces it by blank.
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: Not at all?
SAGAL: Not at all - 0%.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday...
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: On Monday, Epic Games won their antitrust lawsuit against search giant blank.
GONDELMAN: Google?
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, "Barbie" and "Succession" led the nominations for the 2024 blank awards.
GONDELMAN: Golden Globe.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a woman who put an octopus on her face for a funny photo...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...And then got bitten by it told reporters blank.
GONDELMAN: I didn't see that coming.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: She said, quote, "we all make mistakes."
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The woman says that she put the octopus on her face because she was trying to help a friend win a nature photo contest. The woman ended up in the hospital after the octopus bit her. And even worse, the picture they took came in second...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...Next to man getting mauled by bear he tried to hug. Bill, I think Josh did pretty well on his round.
KURTIS: Very well done. Six right, 12 more points - 14 puts him in the lead.
SAGAL: All right.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Helen, you are up next. Please fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the U.N. General Assembly voted to demand an immediate cease-fire in blank.
HONG: Gaza.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, special counsel Jack Smith asked the Supreme Court to rule on whether blank is immune to prosecution.
HONG: Biden?
SAGAL: No. Donald Trump...
HONG: Oh.
SAGAL: ...Was the one being prosecuted. During their final meeting of the year, the Federal Reserve signaled they would cut blank rates in 2024.
HONG: Interest rates.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, the British grocery store chain Tesco recalled their Christmas stuffing mix over fears it may contain blank.
HONG: Salmonella.
SAGAL: No, moths.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Why is my stuffing flying at the light?
SLADE: Protein.
SAGAL: On Thursday, the World Health Organization called for a worldwide ban on flavored blanks.
HONG: Flavored candy?
SAGAL: No, flavored vapes. Best known for his roles on "Homicide: Life On The Streets" (ph) and "Brooklyn Nine-Nine," actor blank passed away tragically young at the age of 61.
HONG: Andre Braugher.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, two men in Colorado convicted of stealing over $2,000...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Worth of merchandise from Kohl's argued for a lesser sentence because blank.
HONG: It's Kohl's.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: They argued that the merchandise was on sale, and they had coupons...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...So it wasn't really that valuable. The two men were convicted of felony theft for stealing KitchenAid mixers, designer clothing. But they argued they should only face misdemeanor charges because the merchandise was all on sale.
SLADE: (Laughter).
SAGAL: The judge disagreed and sentenced them to 15 months in prison, which does sound harsh. But it's only, like, four months if you enter a code at booking.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Helen do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Three right, six more points. Total of eight means she trails Josh, who's still in the lead.
SAGAL: All right. So how many, then...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...Does Alzo need to win?
KURTIS: Six to win.
SAGAL: All right, Alzo. Are you ready? Here we go. On Wednesday, participants in the COP28 climate summit called for a transition away from blanks.
SLADE: Fossil fuels.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: According to his legal team, Russian opposition leader blank is missing from prison.
SLADE: (Vocalizing).
(LAUGHTER)
SLADE: I don't remember.
SAGAL: It's Alexei Navalny. This week...
SLADE: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...The Supreme Court said it would consider a case on restricting the blank pill.
SLADE: Abortion pill.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, the board of blank University voted unanimously to keep their president.
SLADE: Harvard.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: People waited up to eight hours to get served as the first-ever blank opened in Idaho.
SLADE: Chick-Fil-A.
SAGAL: Close - In-N-Out Burger. After filing for bankruptcy, at-home teeth aligner company blank announced it was shutting down.
SLADE: The commercials bother me all the time.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: They won't anymore.
SLADE: Invisalign?
SAGAL: No, close - SmileDirectClub. This week, Russian hackers...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Posing as a political candidate in England failed in their hacking attempt because the emails they sent were blank.
SLADE: They forgot to blind CC.
SAGAL: No, they were too polite.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The hackers were posing as member of Parliament Stephen Gethins who's also a professor whose university has banned sending emails with phrases like, I hope this finds you well, which is exactly how the hackers started their fake spam messages. People quickly realized the emails were not from professor Gethins, who actually starts all his emails with a much more formal what's up, dogs?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, did Alzo Slade do well enough to win?
KURTIS: Well, he got three right, six more points. His nine, however, couldn't catch the egg slut.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
SLADE: Hey, Bill.
KURTIS: Yeah?
SLADE: I lost on purpose just so you could say that.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: Thank you.
SAGAL: Now, panel, who will be the next person to get $700 million in pay? Helen Hong.
HONG: Me, Helen Hong. I am the next 700 millionaire because I just listened to a podcast about manifestation and saying things out loud.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Alzo Slade.
SLADE: Some teenager who becomes an influencer reviewing old Christmas movies on YouTube as if they discovered them.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And Josh Gondelman.
GONDELMAN: It's just gonna be a tech CEO who's figured out how to privatize the concept of sitting down.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill Kurtis.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thanks to Josh Gondelman, Helen Hong and Alzo Slade. Thanks to our fabulous audience here...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...In the magisterial Carnegie Hall. And thanks to all of you for listening at home. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
SAGAL: This is NPR.
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