'Wait Wait' for April 6, 2024: With Not My Job guest Chris Pine
JENNIFER MILLS, BYLINE: The following program was taped in front of an audience of real, live people.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. Throw out your Q-tips. Let my voice clean out your ears.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: I'm Bill Kurtis. And here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Ill., Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you everybody. Oh, man. It's great to be back with you. We have a great show for you today. Later on, we are going to be talking to the actor - and now writer and director - Chris Pine. Now, he has done a lot in his career. But we think he's most famous for playing the handsome prince in "The Princess Diaries" sequel and for playing Captain Kirk in the rebooted "Star Trek" movies. So he is the dream of every teenage girl and every teenage me.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: But now I've grown up, and all I dream of now is to hear from you. So give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi. You're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
SAM BENDALL: Hi. How are you doing, Peter?
SAGAL: I'm doing great. Who's this?
BENDALL: My name's Sam Bendall. I'm calling from Austin, Texas.
SAGAL: Hey, we were just in Austin. How are - what do you do there?
BENDALL: I'm a former motorcycle journalist and currently working as a marketing director for a number of dealerships in the region.
SAGAL: Right. Right. And I'm going to ask you this because I have been one of these. How many of your customers in your dealerships are people who rode motorcycles in their youth, became responsible and married and now want to feel alive again?
(LAUGHTER)
BENDALL: Absolutely. I mean, get on a bike. They're the most fun things you can ever, ever do until you probably hurt yourself.
SAGAL: Yeah. That's the thing.
(LAUGHTER)
BENDALL: And then you probably reconsider it.
SAGAL: Yeah. But at that point, you've already sold it, so it's cool.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, let me introduce you to our panel this week, Sam. First up, a comedian who'll be headlining the Hollywood Improv Lab for the Netflix Is a Joke Festival on May 4. It's Emmy Blotnick.
(APPLAUSE)
EMMY BLOTNICK: Hello.
BENDALL: Hi, Emmy.
SAGAL: Next, the comedian whose new album "Weaponized Empathy" is available now and will be appearing at The Abbey in Fontana, Wis., on April 19. It's Adam Burke.
(APPLAUSE)
ADAM BURKE: Hi, Sam.
BENDALL: Hey, Adam. How you doing?
KURTIS: And a comedian - and I'll say avid motorcyclist - who will be at the Blue Note Jazz Club in Honolulu on May 16. It's Alonzo Bodden.
(APPLAUSE)
ALONZO BODDEN: What's up, Sam?
BENDALL: What's up, Alonzo?
BODDEN: I don't know if this is rigged that I know Sam.
SAGAL: Do you really?
BODDEN: Yeah. We've crossed paths. Oh, yeah.
SAGAL: Not on motorcycles, and you hurt each other?
BODDEN: Not...
SAGAL: No, no.
BODDEN: No, not that close. But yeah, I know Sam. So, Sam, I can't help you at all.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It's against the rules, man.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: This may be a first, actually. Well, Sam, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill This Time? Bill Kurtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize, any voice from our show you might choose on your voicemail. Are you ready to do it?
BENDALL: Let's do it.
SAGAL: All right. Your first quote is The New York Times predicting what is going to happen on Monday.
KURTIS: "Anxiety, bedtime and mating."
SAGAL: I should clarify - they were telling us what to expect from the animal kingdom when what happens Monday?
BENDALL: Is it a particular celestial event that's going to happen and cross Texas and Austin here?
SAGAL: It might well...
BENDALL: Is it the eclipse?
SAGAL: Yes. It is the eclipse, Sam.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Very good.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: According to The Times, Monday's solar eclipse will have strange effects on animals. Cows will return to the barn to sleep. Flamingos will huddle together in fear. And tortoises will try to mate.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Now, think about that one. Guy...
BODDEN: How long is this eclipse going to be?
SAGAL: I know.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The guy tortoise is like, hey, baby. The Times says we got four minutes. Let's get busy.
(LAUGHTER)
BURKE: Do you think tortoises are listening to this and going, what do you mean try to mate?
(LAUGHTER)
BURKE: I tell you - it's a lot of tortoises. We get it right sometimes.
SAGAL: No. Apparently, this is true. We didn't know. But science tells us that most animals, when it gets dark, will just instinctively start their evening routines during the eclipse. Fireflies, for example, will start blinking. And I will say, I'm going to go read a book in bed - and just end up looking at my phone until I fall asleep.
(LAUGHTER)
BLOTNICK: My favorite one of these is that spiders will start to take down the web that they've built 'cause they think the day is over. And then the eclipse passes, and they're like, oh, my God. I got to build another web.
SAGAL: Wait a minute...
BURKE: Yeah, but imagine them slapping themselves in the forehead eight times.
(LAUGHTER)
BLOTNICK: I got to build a second...
SAGAL: Wait a minute...
BLOTNICK: ...Web.
SAGAL: I didn't know this. So, like, a spider will spend all day building a web. And then, like, the sun goes down. It's like the whistle blows, and they go, oh, well. And they take down the web.
BLOTNICK: Yeah.
SAGAL: And they put it in their little case, and they go home to their wife when...
BLOTNICK: They're like, time to pack it up.
SAGAL: Yeah.
BLOTNICK: And then - well, then the eclipse passes, and the wife is like, where's the web?
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: So I think between Daylight Savings Time and now this, domestic animals are going to be like, the hell are these humans doing?
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: What time is it?
BLOTNICK: I'm going to be like, why is my menstrual cycle synced up with the raccoon population?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right, Sam. Here is your next quote.
KURTIS: "Glad to hear porn mode is getting improvement."
SAGAL: That was a commenter in The Washington Post article reacting to the news that what company finally admitted to have been lying all these years about their, quote, "Incognito Mode"?
BENDALL: Google. Google? Google.
SAGAL: Google. Yes. Google.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Yes.
BENDALL: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Google. Google, Google, Google. Everybody, of course, switches over to Incognito Mode in their browser when they don't want their online activity to be recorded. And on Tuesday, Google admitted in a legal settlement that they had been storing data on all of those searches we thought were private. That is not incognito. That is actually quite cognito.
(LAUGHTER)
BURKE: I have no idea what you're talking about.
SAGAL: No, no. I've never used this.
BURKE: And I've never used this.
BLOTNICK: I'm proud of all my browsing.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, now we know they're actually watching, we'll have to start every Google search for something embarrassing with the phrase, my friend is wondering.
(LAUGHTER)
BURKE: I just think it's funny when you're the only person using your computer. So you're not, like, hiding the activity from the rest of your computer. You know what I mean? Like, the other windows are peeking over the top. Like, what are you guys up to?
SAGAL: Yeah.
BURKE: Like, never you mind, amazon.com. This is an entirely different type of wishlist.
SAGAL: Yeah. The New York Times tab is looking over, going, how dare you?
(LAUGHTER)
BLOTNICK: Yeah, you don't want your secret family's address autocompleting.
BURKE: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Oh, that's the worst. Now, the...
(LAUGHTER)
BLOTNICK: I think we all got one of those.
SAGAL: Yeah. Don't ask me how I know that.
BODDEN: You might want to slow down on your proud browsing there.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
BLOTNICK: Fair enough.
BODDEN: (Laughter).
SAGAL: This is - I love this.
BLOTNICK: I have been monogramming a lot of things.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: This - in this settlement, they admitted that part of their, shall we say, deception was they had that little logo of, like, the spy guy in a fedora and glasses and disguise, implying that it was really anonymous - when, of course, we now know it wasn't. So according to the settlement, from now on, it will be a little cartoon Google employee laughing and pointing at you.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right. Sam, your last quote is about a scientific study.
KURTIS: "They had higher levels of smelling cheesy, musty and goat-like."
SAGAL: So science has finally confirmed what every parent has known forever - that who smells cheesy, musty and goat-like?
BENDALL: Babies?
SAGAL: No, not babies. They smell good. It's just when they sort of ripen a few years. Well, I'll give you - all those things are still better than Axe body spray.
(LAUGHTER)
BENDALL: Men?
SAGAL: Not men.
(LAUGHTER)
BLOTNICK: But yes, men. Come on.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, yes, but we don't need to talk about - I'll just give it to you because you've already won. It's teenagers. Teenagers...
BENDALL: Oh (laughter).
SAGAL: ...Have been scientifically proven to smell bad. I assume, because you didn't guess, you've never met one.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: A new actual scientific study has proved that - just like we all suspected - babies and toddlers smell scientifically nice, while teenagers smell, quote, "goat-like."
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: OK, that is not ideal. Sure. But also, science, stop smelling random teens. What is wrong with you?
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: Yeah. Whose job was it to smell teenagers?
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: Like, you went to school. You became a scientist. And now...
SAGAL: Oh, you're going to be so glad you got that doctorate.
BURKE: Is that what school bus drivers are? They're just scientists in disguise.
(LAUGHTER)
BLOTNICK: They're in incognito mode...
SAGAL: Exactly.
BLOTNICK: ...If you will.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I am so glad, though, that science has finally given teenagers something they can feel insecure about - those smug, confident bastards.
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: This almost sounds insulting to the goats.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You really...
BODDEN: You goats smell teen-like.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: (Imitating goat bleating). But no, there is a...
BURKE: That's your goat?
BODDEN: It wasn't a bad goat.
BURKE: That's your goat impersonation?
SAGAL: That was my...
BLOTNICK: It's an insulted goat.
SAGAL: That was my...
BURKE: Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SAGAL: No, I think it was more indignant.
BLOTNICK: OK.
BURKE: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Bill, how did Sam do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Two out of three, Sam. That's a win right here. Congratulations.
SAGAL: Congratulations, Sam.
(APPLAUSE)
BENDALL: Thank you. Thanks, Peter. A pleasure to be on the show. Have a great one.
SAGAL: You, too, Sam.
BENDALL: See you, Alonzo.
BODDEN: Take care, my friend.
(SOUNDBITE OF NIRVANA SONG, "SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT")
SAGAL: Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Alonzo, as I'm sure you know, there was a huge March Madness game last Monday in Albany, N.Y., when Caitlin Clark and Iowa defeated their rivals from LSU.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: Yeah, big game. Great game. But there was a scandal when, during the game, an ESPN announcer insulted whom?
BODDEN: Angel Reese?
SAGAL: No, they wouldn't do that.
BODDEN: Oh. Can you give me a hint?
SAGAL: Yeah, well...
BODDEN: They didn't insult a player?
SAGAL: ...To be fair, it's no Schenectady.
BODDEN: They insulted the city?
SAGAL: Of Albany, N.Y.
BODDEN: How could you knock...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Well, that's the question.
BODDEN: ...Albany, N.Y.?
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: A place not even New Yorkers go.
SAGAL: It's true. The commentators were talking about how Caitlin Clark had told her family in town for the tournament that she just wanted to stay in her room and focus, right? So they should just find something to do in Albany. And ESPN's Rebecca Lobo said, quote, "good luck finding something to do in Albany," end quote.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Shame on you, Rebecca Lobo. Do you not realize that Albany was recently named one of the cities in America?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Now, the best thing was The New York Times reported on this terrible snub. And I would like to read you the very last paragraph of the article - and this is all true - quote, "With the tournament now in Albany's rearview mirror, the city can turn its attention to a more pressing matter - a mysterious odor plaguing its north side, described as a urine-flatulence combination stench."
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: Those would be the teenagers who were at the corner (ph).
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Exactly.
(SOUNDBITE OF NIRVANA SONG, "SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT")
SAGAL: Coming up, our panelists try their best - it's the Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Adam Burke, Emmy Blotnick and Alonzo Bodden. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Ill., Peter Sagal.
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you, everybody. Right now it's time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Or you can check out the pinned post on our Instagram page - that's @waitwaitnpr. Hi. You're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
ALLISON: Hi. This is Allison. I'm calling from St. Petersburg, Fla.
SAGAL: St. Petersburg - I was just near there, and my family is there right now. What do you do there?
ALLISON: I'm a curator at the Salvador Dali Museum.
SAGAL: Ah, the Dali Museum. I love that. Now, you say you're a curator there. What kind of decisions do you have to make?
ALLISON: Yep.
SAGAL: It's all Salvador Dali.
(LAUGHTER)
ALLISON: That's right. So what I do is more on the creative side and, like, exhibition design and art handling and sort of the hands-on part of the curatorial tasks.
BLOTNICK: And what hours do you keep?
(LAUGHTER)
ALLISON: All hours.
SAGAL: She's there. Don't try to sneak in and steal something. She's there all the time...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...In case you were wondering.
BLOTNICK: I'm just asking 'cause it's going to be hard to read the clocks there.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Good point. Allison, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Allison's topic?
KURTIS: At least they meant well.
SAGAL: They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. But hey, at least hell has paved roads.
BURKE: (Laughter).
SAGAL: This week, we read about somebody who really tried to do the right thing, but it didn't go exactly as planned. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the real one, and you'll win the WAIT WAITer of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?
ALLISON: I'm ready.
SAGAL: All right. First, let's hear from Alonzo Bodden.
BODDEN: Derek Baldwin's (ph) love of nature has carried him to adventures around the world. His friends figured for his 50th birthday, what better than a party on a beautiful, natural island? Higtu (ph) Island off the coast of Seattle sounded perfect, and it was available at a surprisingly affordable price. They soon found out why - angry birds.
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: The island was inhabited by the most territorial birds imaginable. We began setting up a table. A couple of geese waddled up, and we tossed them some bread. Next, it was a few more. And before we knew it, we were surrounded. And these birds were smart. They wouldn't move when you stood still, but one step, and they would rush you. If you had asked me a year ago if I'm scared of birds, I'd have laughed. Now I respect them.
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: To evacuate, the partygoers threw a bunch of bread towards them and ran for the boat. They were scared to death. However, Derek thought it was the greatest birthday party ever.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: A private island birthday is ruined by angry birds. Your next story of a favor that fell flat comes from Emmy Blotnick.
BLOTNICK: It was a typical morning at the Lower Wood Nature Reserve and Wildlife Hospital in Cheshire, England, when the phone rang. A woman had found a sick baby hedgehog on the side of the road. She said she had spent the night trying to nurse him back to health. She had given him a sturdy cardboard box lined with newspaper like a special sick hedgehog studio apartment.
(LAUGHTER)
BLOTNICK: She'd even given him a little dish of food, hoping that a lovingly prepared dinner would help the hoglet regain his strength. But when she woke up that morning, he hadn't eaten anything at all. The woman drove the box over to the animal hospital. When the hospital manager examined its contents under the bright lights in triage, it was unlike any baby hedgehog she had ever seen because it was not a baby hedgehog but a fluffy pompom that had fallen off the top of a woolly winter hat...
(LAUGHTER)
BLOTNICK: ...Or as this decoration is whimsically called in England, a beanie bobble.
(LAUGHTER)
BLOTNICK: How was this news received by the pompom's sleepless caretaker? Red in the face with embarrassment, she took the box and drove off. But she obviously meant well. She's clearly a lover of not just animals but also things. And you, too, should consider adopting a beanie bobble today.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: A woman attempts to rescue a hedgehog in the U.K. that turns out to be just the puffy part of a hat. And your last story of some good intentions gone bad comes from Adam Burke.
BURKE: Hilary Glasner (ph) of Eugene, Ore., was your usual supportive aunt. When her nephew, Foley (ph), began a career in singing and acting, she dutifully attended his many performances and cheered him on. But after seeing him despondent after another round of typically terrible reviews for his most recent one-man review, Humperdinck (ph), she was moved to act. I thought giving him a little boost would be harmless, she explains. So she sent her nephew a link to a glowing review from one Argyle Grampian (ph) - theatre critic for a website called Limelight Oregon (ph). The only problem was that both Grampian and the Limelight were fictitious.
However, her nephew was so taken by the rave notice, which called his Spanish-eyes mambo a showstopper for the ages, that he wanted to read more of Grampian. I ended up writing dozens of other reviews for actual shows just to maintain the ruse, explains Glasner. Foley refused to believe either the critic or his praise are fake, says Glasner, and he's just premiered his new opus, Manilow: A Life," which she has just reviewed but, unfortunately for Foley, honestly this time.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: All right. Here are your choices of stories in which somebody tries to do a good thing, but it turns out not to be that good. Was the real one from Alonzo, friends who decided to throw a man a wonderful birthday on a private island, not realizing it was infested by very angry birds; from Emmy Blotnick, a woman who tried to rescue a lost hedgehog, only to find out from the hedgehog experts that it was, in fact, just the part of a hat; or from Adam, an aunt who faked being a theater critic in order to make her nephew happy but ended up enduring the worst fate of all - becoming a real theater critic?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Which of these is the real story we found in the week's news?
ALLISON: I'm going to go with Emmy's story of the pompom hedgehog.
SAGAL: You're going to go with Emmy...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...The pompom hedgehog or the hedgehog that was a pompom or the pompom/hedgehog. All right. To bring you the real story, we spoke to an expert on the subject.
JENNA PERLICK: A well-meaning woman found what she thought was a baby hedgehog. She kept it warm. She gave it food, but it was a pompom (laughter).
SAGAL: That was...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: That was Jenna Perlick from Prickle Pack Hedgehogs, a hedgehog breeder in Illinois, both explaining what happened in the real story and telling me what I'll be doing this weekend.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: But the point of the story is that you have correctly chosen Emmy's story, and that means you have won our prize, the voice of anyone you might want, plus getting Emmy a point. Congratulations.
(APPLAUSE)
ALLISON: Thank you.
SAGAL: Take care.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
SAGAL: And now the game we call Not My Job. Chris Pine's first movie role was the devilish love interest in "The Princess Diaries 2," thrilling the hearts of every 12-year-old girl in the world. And then he went on to play Captain Kirk himself, thrilling the heart of me. He has now directed and co-written his first feature film, "Poolman," and we are delighted he has joined us now. Chris Pine, welcome to WAIT, WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
(APPLAUSE)
CHRIS PINE: Thank you so much for having me.
SAGAL: So you did what some successful actors do. You wrote and directed your first film. And I just have to ask you, as a director, what was it like dealing with the diva that was your leading man, Chris Pine?
PINE: Ah, what a pain in the ass, Peter.
(LAUGHTER)
PINE: Trailer size, the rider with the white M&Ms - it was too much.
SAGAL: It was terrible.
PINE: Terrible. No, it was - I have to say, the directing and the acting of it - I don't know how it - people will view it, but certainly the experience of it was pretty joyful. And I had an incredible cast - Annette Bening and Danny DeVito and Jennifer Jason Leigh and a bunch of incredible people.
SAGAL: The movie is a lot of things, but it is also a kind of love letter to LA. Unlike a lot of people who do what you do, and therefore live there, you grew up there, right?
PINE: I grew up in LA. My father was on a really successful show in the late '70s and early '80s called "CHiPs," and right when I was born...
(CROSSTALK)
SAGAL: Oh, wow. Yeah.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Yeah, we know. We know.
PINE: Oh, yeah.
SAGAL: Oh, yeah. We were just - basically got you here so we could talk about your father.
PINE: Oh, I know. Tell me about it. I've had more experiences about people wanting to talk to me because of my father than...
SAGAL: We read...
PINE: ...(Laughter) My ego will allow.
SAGAL: We read - and I'm surprised if this is true, so I'm interested to see if you'll confirm it - that your father advised you not to go into the business.
PINE: My - you know, my father is a workaday actor. Like, he - when I was growing up, it was him going out on auditions all the time. And I think his advice was really born from - more than anything else - like, knowing just how difficult and how hard our business can be, what with rejection and the real possibility of struggling to make a living. So - but then I remember I went to - went - was at school, and I did a play. And my mother came up to me afterwards and looked at me very worriedly and said, are you sure you don't want to become a lawyer?
(LAUGHTER)
PINE: And I said, absolutely not. And she said, well, go with God.
SAGAL: Well, that's lovely. And so did - your first big movie role, as I understand it, was the male lead in "Princess Diaries 2: A (ph) Royal Engagement."
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: And...
PINE: Indeed.
SAGAL: ...This week, every woman I have met about 30 or below tells me that it was - that is the greatest movie ever made...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...Or at least they thought so when they were in junior high. And I'm just wondering if that has been your experience of life - that women come up to you and go, oh, my God. When I was 13, you were just it.
PINE: I - so fortunate to have been given that opportunity by Garry Marshall. And I have definitely - I do - a lot of girls and women across generations. I just wish for that role that is - people really seem to like - that I would have just had someone put hair gel...
(LAUGHTER)
PINE: ...On my head...
SAGAL: It is...
PINE: ....Because I - my hair is so...
(LAUGHTER)
PINE: ...Uncontrollably large in the film.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I noted that.
PINE: It's...
SAGAL: I watched it this week.
PINE: ...Brutal.
SAGAL: Yeah, it is a...
PINE: Why did you do that?
SAGAL: It's...
PINE: Why did you do that (laughter), you know?
SAGAL: I just assumed - because the movie is so perfectly calibrated to the tastes of young women that...
PINE: Except for my hair.
SAGAL: Well, I figured...
PINE: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...That's just what young women want. They want an incredibly handsome prince who seems, you know, a little dark and a little evil - but turns out to have a heart of gold - who has enormous hair. That was part of the whole thing.
(LAUGHTER)
PINE: Yeah.
SAGAL: So you went from "The Princess Diaries" eventually to playing Captain Kirk in the fabulous new rebooted "Star Trek" movies. So how much of your performance was based on William Shatner?
PINE: I think the biggest direction that J.J. ever had for me was, less Shatner.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Really? You were overdoing it?
PINE: Because it's so deliciously fun. I mean, anything from how he sits in the chair to how he does, like, a double take, there are many - the Shatnerisms (ph) are long and deep, and they're beautiful. They're beautifully crafted things so...
BURKE: There's a bit where you bite - you eat an apple. And I didn't realize that William Shatner ate apples in a certain way until you did it. And I was - oh, that's a Shatner apple eat.
SAGAL: A Shatner apple eat.
(LAUGHTER)
PINE: A Shatner apple eat. Yeah.
SAGAL: It's a Shapel (ph).
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I have to ask you one last thing before we get to the game, which is - I don't know if you are aware of this, but the celebrity magazines very much enjoy talking about the Hollywood Chrises of...
PINE: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
SAGAL: You're aware of this? It's currently you, Mr. Hemsworth...
PINE: We talk about it on our WhatsApp chain, but - yeah.
SAGAL: Well, that's what I was going to ask.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So the Hollywood Chrises...
PINE: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...Are obviously Mr. Pine - with us now - Mr. Hemsworth, Mr. Evans and Mr. Pratt. And the question was, when you get together - and I imagine when that happens, it's called the full Topher (ph).
(LAUGHTER)
PINE: (Laughter) Woah.
BLOTNICK: Not Christmas?
(LAUGHTER)
PINE: Woah.
BLOTNICK: OK.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I feel topped.
(CHEERING)
PINE: Yeah.
SAGAL: I feel one - I feel one-upped.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Do you actually, like - because there are rankings. I don't know if you're aware of that. Like, who's the number one Chris of the moment? And I was wondering if you guys worry about that.
PINE: It really depends on which clubhouse we're at.
SAGAL: Oh, sure.
(LAUGHTER)
PINE: But if we're in Los Angeles, I mean, you know, I think the current reading - I'm at least 48 points above the other guys, which is - look, that's this week.
SAGAL: Yeah.
PINE: Who knows what'll happen next...
(CROSSTALK)
SAGAL: Yeah. Let me just go through their IMDb. No, I don't see any writer-directors on there. So you take the cake, my friend.
PINE: Yep. There you go.
SAGAL: There you go.
(CHEERING)
PINE: I win.
SAGAL: You win.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Well, Chris Pine, we have invited you here to play a game that we are calling...
KURTIS: Ah, the scent of fresh, crisp pine.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Not only crisp pine...
PINE: All right.
SAGAL: ...But balsam, vanilla and clove. We're going to ask you three questions about, sir, air fresheners.
(LAUGHTER)
PINE: Ready to go. Let's do it.
SAGAL: All right. Answer two to three questions, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Chris Pine playing for?
KURTIS: Chris Owens (ph) of Benkelman, Neb.
SAGAL: Another member of the Chris club. All right, here's your first question, Chris. While air fresheners help mask at least 30% of the smells in that cab you are now riding in, they can also cause a little bit of trouble, as in when which of these happened? A, a line of human-pheromone-scented fresheners called a spate of terrible marriages back in the 1990s; B, the pine-scented ones have been known to attract bears; or C, a school in Baltimore was evacuated and hazmat crews were called in thanks to the smell of a pumpkin spice air freshener.
PINE: B.
SAGAL: B - that the pine-scented ones attract bears?
PINE: Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Which is why you see all those bears chasing the Ubers up and down the...
(LAUGHTER)
PINE: Exactly right. That happens in Los Angeles all the time.
SAGAL: That's absolutely true. That's how we get them out of the woods. No, I'm afraid it was actually C. The school in Baltimore had to be evacuated because of the overwhelming effect of the pumpkin spice air freshener. Nobody died. Five people did go to the hospital with pumpkin-spice-related trauma.
(LAUGHTER)
PINE: Jesus.
SAGAL: All right. It's not a problem. You have two more chances with...
PINE: Thanks, pal.
SAGAL: I know.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: With the ubiquity of air fresheners, people are demanding changes to cope with them, such as which of these? A, Febreze being classified as a controlled substance by the federal government; B, an option in rideshare apps to request a car without them; or C, edible air fresheners to make your farts smell nice.
(LAUGHTER)
PINE: I desperately want to say C, but I'm pretty sure it's B.
SAGAL: It is B, yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
PINE: Yes.
SAGAL: Many Uber - yes.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: And apparently our audience agrees that Uber and Lyft should bring this to us, because many people would much prefer not to have that in their car. It makes some people...
PINE: It's the worst.
SAGAL: It's the worst. It makes some people very sick.
PINE: Yeah.
SAGAL: All right. It's just the worst. All right. Last one. If you get this right, you win. If you're putting on air freshener in your car, always use one of those little trees. Just do that so you don't end up like the man who used a spray and had what happen? A, he filled the car with so much aerosol air freshener that when he then lit a cigarette, his car exploded.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: B, when it dried, it became opaque, and all of a sudden he couldn't see out the windows; or C, it was absorbed by his skin, and he spent the rest of his life smelling like cinnamon sugar.
(LAUGHTER)
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE: B.
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE: B.
PINE: Man, between one and two, right? So - oh, God.
SAGAL: (Laughter).
PINE: One. One. One.
SAGAL: You're right. Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
PINE: Yes.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Yes.
KURTIS: You made it. Terrific.
SAGAL: You got it, yes.
PINE: That fella was blown up.
SAGAL: This happened in the U.K. The - he lit a cigarette. The car - the - all the propellant or whatever, caught fire. The car windows were blown out. Nearby buildings were damaged. But amazingly, the driver himself had only minor injuries. I don't know how, but that's what happened. Bill, how did Chris Pine do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Two out of three. Wow, what a win, Chris.
(APPLAUSE)
KURTIS: Good luck.
SAGAL: Captain, my captain - well, Chris Pine is an actor, writer and director now. His new film "Poolman" is coming out May 10. Chris Pine, what a joy to talk to you.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you so much for joining us on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
PINE: Thanks, guys.
(CROSSTALK)
SAGAL: Hey, thank you. Take care.
KURTIS: Thanks, Chris.
PINE: Bye-bye.
KURTIS: See you.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "SO FRESH, SO CLEAN")
OUTKAST: (Singing) Ain't nobody dope as me. I'm dressed so fresh, so clean - so fresh and so clean, clean.
SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill gets a quick pedicure for Birkenstock season in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.
KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Emmy Blotnick, Adam Burke and Alonzo Bodden. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Ill., Peter Sagal.
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill finds a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Alonzo, a new survey on house-cleaning habits shows that of all the rooms in the house, Americans clean what the least?
BODDEN: Wow. Bedroom?
SAGAL: No.
BODDEN: Bathroom?
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Yeah, I know.
BODDEN: I was afraid to say that first.
SAGAL: But it's true.
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: It was my first thought. I was like, no, we don't want to say it out loud. But I - but absolutely believe that.
SAGAL: Yeah. American - according to the survey, Americans not only hate cleaning the bathroom, they particularly hate cleaning the shower, which I understand. I mean, why do you have to clean the shower? I walk out of it. I'm clean. Why isn't it?
(LAUGHTER)
BURKE: Yeah. Shower clean me, not me clean shower.
SAGAL: Exactly.
(LAUGHTER)
BLOTNICK: Tub clean self.
BURKE: (Laughter) Tub clean self...
BLOTNICK: Me clean...
BURKE: ...Also oven.
BLOTNICK: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Also, 94% of Americans tell guests, sorry about the mess, when they know damn well this is the best their house has ever looked.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And now, for all of you who loved our game Did All The Doors Stay On All The Planes This Week...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Oh, there are fans.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: We are thrilled to announce our new game...
KURTIS: Did All Of The Flights From Germany Make It Past England Before Their Toilets Overflowed Into The Cabin This Week?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Emmy?
BLOTNICK: Yes.
SAGAL: Did all of the flights from Germany make it past England before their toilets overflowed into the cabin this week?
BLOTNICK: Well, all the signs are pointing to no.
SAGAL: It was, in fact, no.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Very good, Emmy.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: A United Airlines flight from Frankfurt to San Francisco barely made it past the Netherlands before they had to turn around due to a toilet overflowing into the cabin. The least surprising part of the story is, of course, the airplane was manufactured by Boeing.
(GROANING)
BLOTNICK: Oh.
BURKE: This is the worst thing a German plane has ever done over England...
SAGAL: That's true.
BURKE: ...In the history...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: In response to this latest incident, Boeing said, we needed to use the bolts holding the toilet down to keep the door from falling out. Will you people never be happy?
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: See - I was thinking that would be the one time you wish you could open the door in flight.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Adam, this week we lost Linda Bean, a granddaughter of L.L. Bean, who died at the age of 82. Now, she was an innovative businesswoman in her own right, as she proved when she marketed lobster claws under what name?
BURKE: Little red snappy snaps.
(LAUGHTER)
BURKE: Crab snatcheries (ph)?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: No, but I really want you to keep coming up with these.
(LAUGHTER)
BURKE: Jacque Postel (ph) nipple clamps.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Who told you, Adam?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: No, I'll tell you. She - part of her genius business plan was to sell frozen lobster claws under the name Lobster Cuddlers.
BURKE: What?
BODDEN: Yeah, because you always think of cuddling with a lobster.
SAGAL: Exactly. Right.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Yeah. She considered herself to have a, quote, "gene for marketing" and said she had a way with words, which is also how she came up with her lobster company's slogan - it stirs your primal senses.
BODDEN: Just to be clear, she inherited money.
SAGAL: She did, yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "ROCK LOBSTER")
THE B-52'S: (Singing) Sca-do-ba-da, doo. Sca-do-ba-da.
SAGAL: Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago or come see us on the road in Pittsburgh at the Benedum Center on April 11. That's next week. You can also hop on the Wait Wait Stand-Up Tour with shows in Syracuse, Baltimore and Hershey, Pa., ranging from April 26 through the 28. For tickets and information about all of our live shows, just go to nprpresents.org.
Hi. You're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
KELLY: Hi. This is Kelly (ph) calling from Melrose, Mass.
SAGAL: Melrose? I know Melrose.
KELLY: Yeah?
SAGAL: Yeah, I do. What do you do there?
KELLY: I'm a scientist.
SAGAL: Are you?
KELLY: Yes.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: That was remarkably vague, though. What kind of...
(LAUGHTER)
KELLY: I'm - specifically, I work in cell therapy to treat cancer.
SAGAL: Oh, I - there.
(APPLAUSE)
BODDEN: You mean you passed up the opportunity to smell teenagers?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Oh, she couldn't get into that program. That's very selective - the smelling teenagers program. Kelly, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Ready to play?
KELLY: Yes. I'm ready.
SAGAL: Here we go. Here is your first limerick.
KURTIS: At my office, we're coming to blows over feet that some people expose. Some people demand that all sandals are banned. They're repulsed when they see naked...
KELLY: Toes?
SAGAL: Toes, yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Sandals at the office...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...Polarizing issue. This week, The New York Times weighed in. The article described wearing open-toed shoes as, quote, "exposing toe cleavage," which really exposes more about the author than anything else.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: But admittedly, it is better than calling it your foot crack.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It turns out, in case you're wondering, that wearing sandals at the office depends entirely on your feet. Are your feet gross? Do not wear sandals. Are your toes perfect? Then why are you letting your coworkers see them for free?
(LAUGHTER)
BURKE: As someone who has been regularly shamed for wearing a pair of sensible brogues to the beach, I think the opposite should be true - no sandals in the office.
SAGAL: Yes. I think it's right. I mean, yeah. Here is your next Limerick.
KURTIS: My roof is all busted and tattery (ph). Any closer, and it would have splattered me. Turns out the loud crash was the space station's trash. They just yeeted their old three-ton...
KELLY: Oh, man. This is so much easier when I'm in my car.
SAGAL: Isn't it, though?
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: It's a hard one.
SAGAL: If it's nearby, we will wait. You can go into your car...
BURKE: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...Think about it and come back to the phone. You want to do that? We'll just hang.
BURKE: Unless your car has died for some reason...
SAGAL: Yeah.
BURKE: ...Because you've run out...
KURTIS: Oh, good.
BURKE: ...Of a certain part of the thing.
KURTIS: Good.
SAGAL: Exactly. Your car can't start without it. It rhymes with tattery.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: Splattered...
KELLY: Battery.
SAGAL: Battery. Yeah.
KURTIS: Battery.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
KURTIS: Woah.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: NASA is investigating after what is believed to have been a piece of one of the batteries that was ejected from the International Space Station crashed through the roof of a Florida home. Said the homeowner, quote, "it almost hit my son. He was two rooms over and heard it all." And then he added that he was on vacation at the time. So we know what happened here. This kid took advantage of his parents being away and threw this huge party.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And then the parents came back, and he's like, I don't know what happened, dad. A battery must have fallen from space...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...Completely messed up the kitchen and drank all your vodka.
(LAUGHTER)
BURKE: Aside from anything else, can we just appreciate this rhyme? Because it gives - I believe the first time that Bill Kurtis has ever successfully and correctly used the phrase yeeted.
SAGAL: Yeeted.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: I was going to ask, did we make that up?
SAGAL: No, no.
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: So can we safely say that if a battery falls from outer space, you know it's going to hit Florida?
SAGAL: Yeah, I - really.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right. Here is your last limerick.
KURTIS: At mid-April, my grown kid relaxes. He sighs, 1099 and collapses. He's been brought to the brink. So he goes to a shrink. He seeks help after filing his...
KELLY: Taxes.
SAGAL: Yes, taxes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: A new study found...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...That 1 in 4 Gen Zers say they need a therapist to deal with all the stress of filing taxes - often for the first time in their lives - with 54% saying that doing their taxes has made them cry.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: This is what happens when you raise your kids like that - soft, always giving them just participation refunds.
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: I would think it'd be difficult to do your taxes when you make no money.
SAGAL: Yeah, that'd be a problem.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: This is either an interesting social study fact or somebody is just trying to trick their therapist into doing their taxes, right?
BURKE: (Laughter).
SAGAL: I'm just so confused. I don't know what to enter on line 18 of form 1040. What do you think?
(LAUGHTER)
BLOTNICK: Do you need a federal therapist and a state therapist?
SAGAL: You do, actually. Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Kelly do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Is it any wonder that scientist Kelly was perfect? Congratulations.
SAGAL: Well done. Yay.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you so much, Kelly, and thanks for the good work that you do.
KELLY: Thank you.
SAGAL: Take care.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
SAGAL: Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
KURTIS: Adam and Alonzo each have two. Emmy has three.
SAGAL: All right. So Adam and Alonzo are tied, with Emmy in the front. So let's just arbitrarily pick Alonzo to go first.
BODDEN: Get this out of the way.
SAGAL: Absolutely.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Here we go, Alonzo. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, President Biden called for an immediate cease-fire in blank.
BODDEN: Gaza.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, the minimum wage for over half a million fast-food workers in blank was raised to $20 an hour.
BODDEN: California.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a storm system saw blanks touch down from Georgia to Illinois.
BODDEN: Tornadoes.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, the patient who received a kidney transplant from a blank was able to return home.
BODDEN: Was it a pig?
SAGAL: It was...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...A genetically altered pig. After a truck carrying 100,000 live salmon crashed in Oregon, most of the fish blanked.
BODDEN: Died.
SAGAL: No. Flopped into a creek and started swimming back to the ocean.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, Bob Iger successfully fought off an activist investor for control of blank.
BODDEN: Disney.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, it was confirmed that a Bigfoot sighting...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...In Washington state was actually blank.
BODDEN: Not Bigfoot?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: No. It was just some guy out for a run.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The people who reported seeing a Bigfoot described him as human-shaped and easily 10 feet tall. And they were half right. It was a high school cross-country athlete using his running app that confirmed he was the Bigfoot in question, and he promised to stop going for runs in his gorilla suit and high heels.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Five right, 10 more points. Total of 12. He's hot and in the lead.
SAGAL: There you go.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: All right, Adam, you are up next. Fill in the blank. On Monday, work crews started removing the first portion of the bridge wreckage in blank.
BURKE: Baltimore.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, the CDC confirmed a human case of blank flu in Texas.
BURKE: Avian flu?
SAGAL: Yeah, bird flu.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, rescue workers searched for survivors after a 7.4 magnitude earthquake hit blank.
BURKE: Taiwan.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, a judge ruled that migrants who were unexpectedly flown from Texas to blank could sue the transportation company that brought them.
BURKE: Was it Martha's Vineyard?
SAGAL: It was, yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, pilots at Air France announced plans to go on strike to protest a new government rule prohibiting blank.
BURKE: Smoking in the cockpit.
SAGAL: No. Pilot strikes. According to a new report, almost...
(LAUGHTER)
BURKE: That's French. That's very French.
SAGAL: According to a new report, almost 1 in 5 Americans suffer from blank.
BURKE: Depression.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, Gene Simmons announced that blank had sold their catalog and likenesses for $300 million.
BURKE: KISS.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Despite being in hiding for years, investigators think...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...They know the location of an Irish drug kingpin because he keeps blanking.
BURKE: Texting his mommy.
SAGAL: No. He keeps writing online restaurant reviews of the places he visits.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Crime kingpin Christopher Kinahan is at the top of Ireland's most wanted list, but investigators think they've trapped him down, because he keeps posting restaurant reviews on Google.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Hey, he may be the head of Ireland's most murderous drug cartel, but even he has to give credit to - and this is real - the excellent service at the local P.F. Chang's.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Adam do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Close to a personal best. He's done better, but he's got six right, 12 more points, 14 total. He's in the lead.
SAGAL: All right.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: So how does - how many does Emmy Blotnick need to win?
KURTIS: Six to win.
SAGAL: Here you go, Emmy. Are you ready to do this?
BLOTNICK: Oh, yeah.
SAGAL: Here you go.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, the judge presiding over the criminal trial of blank denied a motion to delay jury selection.
BLOTNICK: Donald Trump.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, Volodymyr Zelensky lowered the draft age in blank from 27 to 25.
BLOTNICK: Ukraine.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, over 200 artists signed an open letter calling blank a threat to the music industry.
BLOTNICK: Oh, I don't know.
SAGAL: AI.
BLOTNICK: AI.
SAGAL: This week, a school in Washington that closed down after a mountain lion sighting has confirmed it was actually blank.
BLOTNICK: A guy hiking.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That guy got all around. No, it was just a really fat cat.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, the White House directed NASA to designate a time zone for the blank.
BLOTNICK: The moon.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, LSU basketball star Angel Reese announced plans to join the blank.
BLOTNICK: The next biggest basketball thing.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You're - I kind of have to give it to you. It's the WNBA.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Not quite as big as college basketball, but maybe that'll change. This week, after a fight between New York...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...And New Jersey's NHL teams, a blank broke out.
BLOTNICK: A fight.
SAGAL: No, a hockey game.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The old joke came true. Before the puck had even hit the ice, every player on the New York and New Jersey hockey teams got into a massive brawl. Eight players were ejected less than two seconds into the game, but fans were thrilled to see how the benchwarmers would perform when they inevitably also got into fights.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, did Emmy do well enough to win?
KURTIS: She got four right, eight more points. Her 11 falls short of Adam, who is today's champion.
SAGAL: Well done, Adam.
(APPLAUSE)
BLOTNICK: Well done, Adam.
SAGAL: There you go.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Now, panel, what else that we believed in will turn out to be a lie? Alonzo Bodden.
BODDEN: We're going to find out Elon Musk is not a real person.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Emmy Blotnick.
BLOTNICK: Those Allbirds sneakers - actually just socks.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And Adam Burke.
BURKE: You know that thing your parents tell you that you can be anything you want as long as you work hard enough? That's a lie.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: Well, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill Kurtis. Thanks also to Alonzo Bodden, Emmy Blotnick and Adam Burke. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: You guys are awesome. Thanks to everybody out there listening in radio and podcast land. I am Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week in Pittsburgh, Pa.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
SAGAL: This is NPR.
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