Limericks Carl reads three news-related limericks, on: something else to blame on the waiter, Ukrainian Eggs, and something goes from the dining car to the engine.
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Limericks

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Limericks

Limericks

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PETER SAGAL, Host:

Coming up, it's "Lightning Fill in the Blank."

But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait Wait. That's 1-888-924- 8924. You can click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org.

SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

M: Hi, this is Cherie Courtide in Crescent City, California.

SAGAL: Hey Cherie, how are you?

M: Good, thanks.

SAGAL: You have a lovely name, Cherie. Now where is Crescent City, is that Northern or Southern California?

M: Northern, right up near the Oregon border.

SAGAL: Oh, it's beautiful up there.

M: It's gorgeous. We have the Pacific Ocean and the Redwood National and State Parks, so...

SAGAL: Right.

M: ...there's lots to see.

SAGAL: What I've heard about that part of California is you can go outside and pretty much almost any plant you find, you can pick up, dry and smoke, and something interesting will happen.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's like a cornucopia. Just whatever you like, just try.

M: I'll remember that.

SAGAL: Tell us how it goes.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Cherie, it's good to have you with us. You're going to play our "Listener Limerick Challenge." Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, Host:

Though my appetite couldn't be greater, I'd sit out this meal, I'll just eat later. If it's a real skinny dude who is bringing the food, I adapt to the girth of my...

M: Waiter.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to research by three - count them, three - North American universities, dieters are more likely to fall off the wagon if they are served by an overweight waiter - or overweighter.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Diners feel better about themselves, you see, in contrast. So they're like, I'm not going to feel guilty, let's just test this concept of the endless pasta bowl. To get these results, researchers observed a waitress who served some diners while wearing a size 16 fat suit. What we don't get is why, when in need of an overweight participant in their research, researchers turned to a waitress in a fat suit, and not pretty much any other American.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: Right.

SAGAL: All right. Very good. Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: In Kiev, Robert's Rules have no legs, we're the last parliamentary dregs. If we do not agree, we don't enter a plea. We throw smoke bombs and pelt folks with...

M: Eggs.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In Ukraine this week, politicians met to ratify a treaty to allow Russia to keep its navy on the Crimean Peninsula. And while here it might have just been boring, in the Ukraine it got crazy. Men in suits wrestled and punched each other on the floor of the parliament. Somebody threw smoke bombs, and lots of people threw eggs. The speaker and those around him in the front of the room, up on the dais, they immediately pulled out umbrellas and used them as shields.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's right. The leaders of the Ukrainian parliament came to a session prepared...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...to be pelted with garbage.

M: Makes our deliberative bodies look pretty darn good.

SAGAL: It does. Although I do believe President Obama is bringing an umbrella to the next State of the Union.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: Cows on the tracks once caused grief, the solution found beggars belief. We'll use the cows' meat but no, not to eat. It's a biofuel made of ground...

M: Beef.

SAGAL: That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Amtrak debuted its brand-new, beef-powered passenger train. It runs on 80 percent diesel, and 20 percent biofuel made from beef tallow. It takes passengers between the cow-rich cities of Fort Worth and Oklahoma City. Officials claim the beef fuel reduces carbon emissions by 10 percent, and sulfates by 20 percent. Amtrak says that on-time arrivals will improve from being rare to medium rare.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Cherie do on our quiz?

KASELL: Very well, Peter. She had three correct answers, and I'll be doing the message on her home answering machine.

SAGAL: Well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing.

M: Thank you.

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