Limericks Carl reads three news-related limericks: an alternative to Chicken Soup for the Soul, searching for a job at the bottom of a glass, and what men want to do when they see beautiful women.

Limericks

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PETER SAGAL, Host:

Coming up, it's "Lightning Fill in the Blank." But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait Wait; that's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the contact us link at our website, waitwait.npr.org. There, you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

PRASHANT PARMAR: Excellent. Hi, I'm Prashant from Tulsa, Oklahoma, and I go to college in Chicago.

SAGAL: Oh, you do?

PARMAR: Yeah, it's pretty excellent.

SAGAL: It is pretty excellent.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Why are you calling us from Tulsa? Were you afraid of us?

PARMAR: Well, I figured that my parents probably needed to see me sometime this summer, unfortunately.

SAGAL: Oh, I see, so you wanted to go home and see them. Prashant, welcome to the show. Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, Host:

Old memories hang 'round like a ghost. And smells seem to rouse them the most. My own little Proust is back home to roost when I smell some hot buttered...

PARMAR: Toast.

SAGAL: Right, toast.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Feeling blue? Make some toast. That's the advice from professor Tim Jacob of Cardiff University, who's determined that the smell of toast triggers feelings of happiness. Said Jacobs, quote: It is clear that toast reminds us of family. Toast is used as a treat and to cheer us up, so toast is therefore comforting, unquote. So true. I mean, who among us doesn't remember coming home after trick or treating with a pillowcase full of toast?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Or being sick, and having your mother bring you a piping hot bowl of toast.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: We used to have toast when we were sick.

SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: Milk toast. Did you ever have that?

SAGAL: No. This is the toast you dip in milk? Is that how it...

POUNDSTONE: No, you cut it up in a bowl, put a little nutmeg on there, perhaps some butter. And then you pour milk over it, and it's milk toast. It's very yummy. It's very healing, very comforting.

SAGAL: Well, I didn't know that.

LUKE BURBANK: Milk toast.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, I'm trying to help.

SAGAL: Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: For out-of-work shlubs, it's the hub. It's our club where we drink and eat grub. While seeking employ, why not have some joy? Let's have job training here in our...

PARMAR: Pub.

SAGAL: Right, pub.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: If you're out of work, you want to look for a job, and you want to get drunk. Now you can do both, at least in Berlin. The Kindl Klause Pub there offers patrons free advice on how to find work while they drink. It's a good idea, but it has created some awkward moments when patrons have woken up the next morning in terrible jobs they don't really want to do.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's a phenomenon known as Job Goggles.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh, man, I don't even remember the name of the position. What am I going to do? All right, here is your last limerick.

KASELL: This lady looks great, oh my gorsche(ph). I'm glad I am clean, I just worsched(ph). She speaks, I drift far. I stare at a car. My mind wanders to that fast...

PARMAR: Porsche.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a phenomenon Dutch researchers call the Porsche effect, the sight of attractive women inspires men to buy expensive goods like Rolexes and Porsches. It's a long-held belief that women like men with expensive stuff. So the problem is, you see attractive women, you buy an expensive car, which causes more women flock to you. So you see those women, and you buy more expensive cars. And pretty soon, you're surrounded by beautiful women and expensive cars - which isn't so much a problem as it is a hip-hop video.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Prashant do on our quiz?

KASELL: Well, Prashant, you had three correct answers, so congratulations, you win our prize.

PARMAR: Yes, my mom will be ecstatic.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: There you are. Your mom will be ecstatic.

PARMAR: I'm playing for her.

SAGAL: That's wonderful.

PARMAR: She's always wanted Carl Kasell on her answering machine.

SAGAL: You're a good son. Thank you so much for playing, Prashant. We'll see you back here in Chicago.

PARMAR: Thank you very much.

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