Leaping Lizards! Wait Wait panelists Paula Poundstone and Roy Blount, Jr. discuss their experiences with lizards.
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Leaping Lizards!

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Leaping Lizards!

Leaping Lizards!

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CARL KASELL, Host:

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. And here's your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Thank you, everybody. This week, it's everything that creeps and crawls and slithers - and sometimes, things that just stay hidden in a smuggler's pants. It's all-animal edition of WAIT WAIT.

KASELL: The herpetologists in the audience were getting upset because we haven't featured any lizards. Well, that ends now with this moment from a show from November 2006 with Paula Poundstone, Paul Provenza and Roy Blount Jr.

SAGAL: Paula, some reptilian news for you. It turns out that scientists in France have determined that lizards do indeed have what?

M: Conscience.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They feel bad about being lizards?

M: No. I have a bearded dragon lizard. And every time she eats a cricket, she gets this kind of funny look on her face.

SAGAL: It's not indigestion?

M: No, it was yummy, but on the other hand...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: It's a cricket-eating (unintelligible), is what it is.

SAGAL: You're close. Well, I mean, it's sort of like now, if your friend sets you up with a lizard, they can assure you that the lizard has a really nice one.

M: I don't know. Scent? I don't know.

SAGAL: No. Does anybody know what I'm getting at?

M: Personality.

SAGAL: Yes, lizards have personality.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

M: Oh, I didn't even know that was in question. I love my bearded dragon lizard.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, most people do not believe lizards have much of a personality. They just sit there, they eat, they do their lizard thing.

M: It's absolutely not true. My lizard listens to the show. And every time Roy does a poem, he says, turn it up.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: Full of personality.

SAGAL: So, you know.

M: Oh, I didn't know. I never suspected that they didn't.

SAGAL: Well, apparently...

M: Who said they didn't?

SAGAL: Most people have thought that they were pretty much all alike.

M: No, no.

SAGAL: But herpetologists have discovered that lizards actually have distinct personality types, variations within lizards. So they determined some lizards are naturally warm and bubbly. They like to hang out with their friends. Other lizards are quite loners who keep to themselves.

M: Well what lunatic didn't think that was true?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: Why do you think there was only one Godzilla?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

M: I had a lizard in my apartment once.

M: Don't brag.

M: No, it was supposed to be a monitor lizard because I read - it was a monitor lizard. I read...

M: Yeah, it kept watching you.

M: There was a certain kind of - he stood out in the hall, yeah.

M: With a clipboard.

M: Yeah, and a little...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: It was supposed to be a gecko. I read somewhere that you put a gecko in your apartment, and they will eat your cockroaches. But they didn't have a gecko, so I got this monitor lizard. And it lived in my apartment and every now and then, somebody would say, what in the...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: But it wouldn't eat lizards. I mean, it wouldn't eat cockroaches. It was a sad thing; it died.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

M: You didn't feed it? You just put it down on the floor?

M: I gave it peanut butter and things. It wouldn't eat that. It wouldn't eat peanut butter or cockroaches. So what? What was I going to do?

M: Did your lizard...

M: I put cockroaches on the - peanut butter on the cockroaches.

M: No wonder your lizard had personality issues.

M: That's right.

SAGAL: Roy went further. Not only does it have personality, it has a personality disorder.

M: That's right.

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