Panel Round Two More questions for the panel: Jewelry deals you won't want left behind; a day to forget; Say hello to my little friend; and Silvio's priorities.
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Panel Round Two

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Panel Round Two

Panel Round Two

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CARL KASELL, Host:

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Luke Burbank, Roxanne Roberts and Paula Poundstone. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Thank you, Carl.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much. In just a minute, Carl is sent to The Hague for committing war rhymes in the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Roxanne, a jewelry store in Wisconsin is taking a fresh approach to this holiday season. They're offering 50 percent off everything to give you a chance to stock up on jewelry in time for what?

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Something having to do with the Green Bay Packers?

SAGAL: Nothing to do with the Green Bay Packers.

ROBERTS: This is Wisconsin we're talking about, right.

SAGAL: It is in Wisconsin, but that is not relevant to the answer per se.

ROBERTS: The inheritance tax.

SAGAL: No.

ROBERTS: Okay. I'm thinking of reasonable things that you'd want to stock up for.

SAGAL: Why would we ever ask you about a reasonable thing on this radio program?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Okay.

SAGAL: Have you ever listened to this radio program?

ROBERTS: The apocalypse.

SAGAL: Yes, thank you.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

LUKE BURBANK: Wow.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The ad for LTD Jewelry begins, as many do, with images of the earth ravaged by raging hellfire.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Then Larry Falter, owner of the jewelry store, comes on and cheerfully says the end times are upon us. But, quote, "nonetheless, here and now, if you want jewelry, I've got access to millions." For as it says in the Book of Leviticus, quote, "And when the rapture cometh, the righteous shall riseth unto heaven, but not before getting some unfreaking-believable deals."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Paula, after carefully inspecting newspapers, history books and public records spanning the 20th century, a team of researchers at Cambridge University in Britain are confident in their claim that April 11th, 1954 is significant for what reason?

POUNDSTONE: It was the most boring day ever.

SAGAL: Exactly right, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Paula Poundstone.

POUNDSTONE: I got to tell you, I did nothing that whole day.

SAGAL: Yeah. Three hundred million historical facts have been catalogued in the 20th century, but not one of them happened on April 11th, 1954.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Nothing important happened, nobody famous died, nobody significant was born. Nothing happened. Now maybe you heard this and you're thinking, wait a second, I was born on April 11th, 1954. Are you saying I'm insignificant? And of course, we're not saying that, science is saying that.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: But we only know it's boring based on recorded history. I bet you there were a lot of boring days before we wrote down what we did on those days.

BURBANK: I'd say most days.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Like the Dark Ages.

SAGAL: Yeah, come on.

POUNDSTONE: My guess is the first day of recorded history was probably the most boring day because they were so bored they said let's just write. There's nothing else to do, let's just...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: And on the second day, someone sent a cable talking crap.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BURBANK: About somebody two caves over.

SAGAL: Yeah. Luke, Brazilian police and army officials busted a notorious drug gang last weekend. They seized 11 tons of pot, an arsenal of weapons and the raided the home of the vicious drug lord known as Pezao, where they made what shocking discovery?

BURBANK: By the way, best drug lord name ever.

SAGAL: Pezao, I agree with you.

BURBANK: Like at that point, if your parents name you Pezao, you kind of - you either become a male stripper or a drug lord.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: I mean, it's not even your fault. I think that should legally be a defense.

SAGAL: Right.

BURBANK: I saw a photo of this thing that you're asking about, Peter.

SAGAL: Yes.

BURBANK: It's so amazing.

SAGAL: It's great.

BURBANK: He has a huge Justin Bieber mural...

SAGAL: He does.

BURBANK: ...in his house.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He does. Well done, Luke.

BURBANK: And it looks like Jay Leno. If Justin Bieber was Jay Leno's son. I mean it's also the most awful Justin Bieber mural you've ever seen.

ROBERTS: Is this a pre-haircut? Is this a painting?

BURBANK: It's a painting.

SAGAL: It's a big, lurid painting of Justin Bieber taking up a whole wall in his mansion. You know that old saying, make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident? Well, also remember to paint over your wall-sized portraits of the Biebster in case your mansion built with drug money is raided by the cops.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Now, Pezao looks like a pretty silly drug lord. Despite his impressive trafficking ring and reputation as a ruthless killer, Pezao will now be known only because he suffers from Bieber Fever.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: You know, this baffles me on a number of levels. First of all, I thought that the only people that really were insane about him were like 11 or 8-year-olds.

BURBANK: See, I think this is the takeaway though, right? It's actually I think a hopeful thing for the rest of us, which is this was not for Pezao. This was for Pezao's 12-year-old daughter, which means even if you're a Brazilian drug pin, you're terrified of your 12-year-old daughter and you basically paint a horrible...

SAGAL: All right, all right.

BURBANK: ...Justin Bieber mural in your drug king house so she will, like, say I love you on Christmas.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Paul, Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who is like Hugh Hefner without the taste and restraint.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Just spent...

POUNDSTONE: What if he hears that?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: That was in the cable.

SAGAL: I know. Anyway, Silvio Berlusconi just spent $92,000 in Italian taxpayer money to repair a statue in his office. It's a statue of Mars, the Roman God of War. What part of the statue did he pay to have reattached to it?

POUNDSTONE: Not the genitalia?

SAGAL: Yes, his little Italian sausage right there, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

POUNDSTONE: Whoa.

SAGAL: The Italian prime minister, who's own little prime minister must be due for replacement by now, has angered taxpayers with what they call a frivolous use of state funds. The statue is 2,000 years old, but somewhere along the line in those years it lost its manhood. It's kind of a Penis de Milo, if you will.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

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