Panel Round Two More questions for the panel: Everyone is in agreement regarding the clippers; what is computer; sweatin' at the Westin; and an extreme dress code.
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Panel Round Two

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Panel Round Two

Panel Round Two

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CARL KASELL, host:

From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Kyrie O'Connor, Adam Felber and Peter Grosz. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, host:

Thank you, Carl.

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: Thank you so much. In just a minute, Carl Clause takes to the sky in a miniature sleigh, led by Rhymedolph, the rhyme-nosed rhymedeer.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. ADAM FELBER (Writer, "Real Time with Bill Maher"): Someone's been a very bad boy.

Mr. PETER GROSZ (Comedy Writer/Performer): Yeah. That is our own version of the year-end clearance sale.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Somebody got into the eggnog. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge coming up. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.

Peter, the Los Angeles Clippers are not have a great season. They're 5-21.

Mr. GROSZ: Give them a break.

SAGAL: Well, there's no sign they're going to get any better. Well this week, it came out that it's even worse than we thought. At home games, they're getting repeatedly heckled by whom?

Mr. GROSZ: Me. I actually went to a Clippers game recently.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. GROSZ: I was laughing at them a lot. Not just by their fans. Their fans, the Clippers' fans?

SAGAL: Not just by their fans, that would be obvious.

Mr. GROSZ: Their players on their bench?

SAGAL: No.

Mr. GROSZ: The coaching staff?

SAGAL: Keep going upwards.

Mr. GROSZ: The owner.

SAGAL: The owner of the team is heckling them.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: Donald Sterling is his name.

Mr. GROSZ: I did not deserve that bell.

SAGAL: No, the Clippers, if you don't follow the NBA, are one of the most storied franchises in all of sports. And the stories all begin: "Once upon a time there was a team that sucked more than any other."

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Apparently, Clippers' owner, Donald Sterling, has had enough. He's begun hurling insults at his own players from courtside. Really, he should be directing his heckling at the other team, like any fan would do. Like the next time the Heat comes to town, he should say, "Hey LeBron, you play like the Los Angeles Clippers."

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: He shouts, "Why are you in the game? You're out of shape. Why did you take that shot?" Those are some of his samples.

Mr. GROSZ: Who hired you?

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. GROSZ: I went to a Clippers game because I test drove a Kia. And as I was leaving the guy was like, do you want to go to a Clippers' game? I said sure and he gave me a coupon that was like go online and you'll get two free Clippers tickets. And they actually won that game.

Ms. KYRIE O'CONNOR (Deputy Editor/Blogger, Houston Chronicle): So which was worse?

SAGAL: Who did they play, the Kia dealership guys?

Mr. GROSZ: The Sacramento Kings.

Ms. O'CONNOR: Which was worse, going to a Clippers game or test driving a Kia?

Mr. GROSZ: I was wondering, like, who's slumming it in this relationship?

SAGAL: Adam, computers can do amazing things. They can beat grandmasters at chess. They can figure out what movies we want to see next. But programmers will soon unveil a computer that hopefully can do what?

Mr. FELBER: Wow, that's a nice broad...

SAGAL: Yeah, it is.

Mr. FELBER: A broad question there. Find your keys.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: I'll give you a hint, it's actually...

Mr. FELBER: The first thing it says is "where did you have them last?"

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FELBER: And then it says, "why don't you try patting every part of your body in order to find them?"

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FELBER: And then it says "maybe you left them in the car." And you said but I never leave them in the car. And it says, "well maybe this time you did, you might as well check."

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: If it works, when it does it, it will give answers in the form of a question.

Mr. FELBER: It's a therapist.

(Soundbite of laughter)

(Soundbite of applause)

Mr. FELBER: It plays Jeopardy.

SAGAL: It plays Jeopardy, yes.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: Yes, it's true, this computer will play Jeopardy. For three days in February, Jeopardy is planning to pit the show's most successful champions against an IBM computer named Watson. The computer will have to pick questions to answer from the big board. It'll have to understand the meaning of the question. It'll have to answer it in the form of a question. The chat with Alex Trebek is going to be pretty awkward though.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: I work in an office.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: I am not programmed to have hobbies.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FELBER: But even I know you look better with a mustache.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: If this works, though, we'll see more computers on game shows like the Newlywed Game. Craziest place you've made whoopee? In the USB port, Bob.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Kyrie, in this age of luggage fees for bags, frequent business travelers have to limit what they take with them on their trips. Well this week, the Westin Hotel chain launched a new program providing them with what? Providing travelers, that is, with what?

Ms. O'CONNOR: Something that they can't bring with them.

SAGAL: Yeah, you get it there.

Ms. O'CONNOR: I need a clue.

SAGAL: Well, it's like hello, front desk, I need a wakeup call in the morning and a jock strap.

Ms. O'CONNOR: Your fitness wear?

SAGAL: Yeah, your workout equipment.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: Workout gear, clothing that is. Here's how it works. The guest at the hotel picks up the shorts, socks, sports bras and shoes at the front desk, gets in a good sweaty workout, returns them in. You get to wear them next. The Westin assures travelers the gym clothes will be treated to the same cleaning process the sheets get.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Which makes us think, okay, now we don't want to be sleeping with the sheets.

Mr. GROSZ: Just remember: you know, if you pack anything, pack a black light.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Ms. O'CONNOR: You know, I don't even like bowling shoes. I mean this is way worse.

SAGAL: In any event, the Westin hopes this new service will be more successful than the previous recycling effort, the you're not going to finish all of that are you, room service repurposing program.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Adam, Swiss banks are legendary for their high class efficiency, sophistication and discretion. But the Swiss bank UBS is so concerned its employees could sully that reputation, they've issue a lengthy memo telling them to avoid what?

Mr. FELBER: Gambling?

SAGAL: No.

Mr. FELBER: Eating Swiss food.

SAGAL: Well eating something.

Mr. FELBER: Oh, there's something that they don't want.

SAGAL: Yes.

Mr. FELBER: There's something indiscreet that they might eat.

SAGAL: Something, yeah.

Mr. FELBER: Garlic?

SAGAL: Yes.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: Garlic and onion-based dishes, in fact. The 43-page dress and behavior manual is a cross between the Marine Corps Handbook and "What Not to Wear." Some of the tips are fairly obvious: women, no short skirts; men, no fingernails longer than 1.4 millimeters. Others are more difficult to understand. Men's ties should match the morphology of their face.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Whatever that means.

Mr. GROSZ: My mom used to say that all the time.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: I can't imagine what the situation of UBS was like before that necessitated this memo. You know, fire breathing bankers running around with giant claws for fingernails in bikinis and ties that were in direct conflict with their facial morphology.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: The men are instructed to wear, and in great detail what this means, superior quality underpants.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: And that's defined, you know.

Mr. FELBER: That matches the morphology of their genitals.

(Soundbite of laughter)

(Soundbite of music)

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