Limericks Carl reads three news-related limericks: We give lip service to a new survey; butching up that iPad, and a plucky protest.
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Limericks

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Limericks

Limericks

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PETER SAGAL, host:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can click the contact us link at our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago or upcoming shows on the road in South Carolina and Miami, Florida. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

Mr. OWEN MCGUIRE: Hey, this is Owen McGuire from Starkville, Mississippi.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things in Starkville?

Mr. MCGUIRE: Going well. They've been pretty cold, but we warmed up for a little bit today.

SAGAL: Yeah.

Mr. MCGUIRE: And of course, cold to us is around 30.

SAGAL: Yeah, how are you guys dealing with that?

Mr. MCGUIRE: Not well.

SAGAL: So what do you do there?

Mr. MCGUIRE: I'm actually a graduate student at Mississippi State University.

SAGAL: Oh wow, and what are you studying?

Mr. MCGUIRE: I'm working on my MBA.

SAGAL: Oh, you're going to be working in business?

Mr. MCGUIRE: I hope to be. I would like to work in higher education in some way.

SAGAL: That's a better choice because there may not be any business by the time you get out.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Owen. You are going to play our game in which you just have to finish these news-related limericks that Carl will begin for you. Finish two out of three and you will win our prize, Carl's voice on your home voicemail. Ready to go?

Mr. MCGUIRE: Let's do it.

SAGAL: All right, here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, host:

The iPad's part blessing, part curse. It's making its own universe. It fits in no pocket, so though you might mock it, we men need to carry a?

Mr. MCGUIRE: Purse.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of bell)

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: Sure, you know, tablet computers are cool. But if you're a guy, owning one comes with a decidedly uncool price. They require you to carry a large, square bag, a man purse. So many guys balk at this. So this week, the New York Times suggested more masculine alternatives, such as an old ammunition bag, say. Or what about just disguising it as a football, or as some kind of firearm, that's manly.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Or you can just cover it in barbecue sauce, that'll be good.

Mr. PETER GROSZ (Comedy Writer/Performer): Talk about a first world problem.

SAGAL: Yes. Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: I'll give you some great flirting tips. Don't work on your slick, verbal quips. Just look in my face at the kissable place and tell me that I have nice?

Mr. MCGUIRE: Lips.

SAGAL: That's right, lips.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: A popular dating website has confirmed what those two hillbilly yokels in "Deliverance" have known for years. The secret to picking up somebody is to tell them they have a pretty mouth.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Global participants, thousands of them, say the best pickup line is "you have beautiful lips." The key, though, is not to elaborate. You have beautiful lips loses 90 percent of its effectiveness when followed by "especially compared to the rest of your face."

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. ADAM FELBER (Writer, "Real Time with Bill Maher"): Yeah, that probably doesn't work too well.

SAGAL: Right.

Mr. GROSZ: It's so specific and technical. The flesh at the front of your face.

Mr. FELBER: I'm enamored of the morphology of your lips.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. GROSZ: They really match your tie.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: All right, here is your last limerick, Owen.

KASELL: December is women's month now. Let's raise more attention somehow. We're trying our luck without wax or pluck, and grow in one big, solid?

Mr. MCGUIRE: Eyebrow, unibrow.

SAGAL: Yes, eyebrow, unibrow, good enough.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: Disappointed to be left out of last month's Movember, that's when men grew mustaches for charity, a feminist website has declared this month, December, Decembrow. They're encouraging women to cease plucking and waxing their eyebrows in favor of big, bushy unibrows, think Frida Kahlo or Cro-Magnon.

Mr. GROSZ: You can't do it. You can't grow a unibrow. I couldn't grow a unibrow.

SAGAL: Well the implication is that if women stopped plucking on a daily basis all of the sudden.

Mr. GROSZ: For one month they'd suddenly be Bert from "Sesame Street."

SAGAL: It's crazy.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FELBER: It really would point out how beautiful their lips look though.

SAGAL: I know.

Ms. KYRIE O'CONNOR (Deputy Editor/Blogger, Houston Chronicle): Because you couldn't look above that.

Mr. FELBER: Yeah, exactly.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Owen do on our quiz?

KASELL: Well, Owen had three correct answers, Peter. So that means he wins our prize. Congratulations, Owen.

SAGAL: Well done, Owen.

(Soundbite of applause)

Mr. MCGUIRE: Thank you, guys.

SAGAL: Thanks for playing. Bye-bye.

Mr. MCGUIRE: Bye.

(Soundbite of music)

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