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Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

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PETER SAGAL, Host:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have sixty seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL, Host:

We have a tie for first place, Peter. Amy Dickinson and Paula Poundstone, they both have three points each. Maz Jobrani has two.

MAZ JOBRANI: Wow.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: It's close.

JOBRANI: I am. I'm right there.

POUNDSTONE: It's neck in neck.

SAGAL: All right, so Maz, you are in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. California residents fearing cross Pacific contamination rushed pharmacies for iodine tablets to counter the effects of blank.

JOBRANI: The Japan earthquake nuclear thing.

SAGAL: Yeah, radiation.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Republican law makers said Tuesday that since the fourteen Democrats have returned to blank, they will no longer be held in contempt.

JOBRANI: Wisconsin.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Productivity in offices around the country dropped drastically on Thursday when blank kicked off this week.

JOBRANI: Oh that would be daylight savings.

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Oh.

SAGAL: March Madness NCAA.

JOBRANI: Well, yeah, daylight savings though cause the - okay.

SAGAL: Yeah.

JOBRANI: Yeah.

SAGAL: Fort Wayne, Indiana announced its new government building would be called Citizens Square despite a worldwide effort to name it after former mayor blank.

JOBRANI: Where is this?

SAGAL: This is in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

JOBRANI: The mayor of Indiana.

SAGAL: No. People wanted to name is after former mayor Harry Baals.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Oh, I heard of that.

SAGAL: Yes.

JOBRANI: Yeah.

SAGAL: Because the spaghetti and meatballs included pieces of red plastic, 10,000 pounds of blank frozen dinners were recalled.

JOBRANI: Stouffers.

SAGAL: Lean Cuisine.

JOBRANI: Same thing.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Less than 24 hours after it was unveiled, the 2012 Olympic countdown clock in London blanked.

JOBRANI: Stopped working.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A study of British consumers by the Meat Trades Journal show that 17 percent of Britains believe that blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

JOBRANI: That meat is good.

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Seventeen percent of Britains believe that pigs have wings.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

AMY DICKINSON: Come on.

SAGAL: That you can buy and eat. The survey was for National Butcher's Week. They found that also nearly 20 percent of people thought they could pick up tofu ribs and legs of liver. This lack of knowledge of meat was hailed as wonderful news from butchers who immediately relabeled their ground chuck and far pricier unicorn meat.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Wait, this is the Meat Journal?

SAGAL: The Meat Journal. Leading peer review journal of meat.

POUNDSTONE: Imagine writing for the one that comes in second.

DICKINSON: I know.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: That's my next job.

SAGAL: That would be Meat Gazette.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah. I'll write a column called "What am I, Chopped Liver?"

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Maz do on our quiz?

KASELL: Maz had four correct answers for eight more points. He now has ten points and Maz has the lead.

JOBRANI: Let's stop right now. Let's just quit.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We have flipped a coin. Paul has elected to go third. So Amy, you're up now. Here we go. Fill in the blank. To once again avoid a shutdown, Congress approved another stopgap blank bill.

DICKINSON: Spending bill.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Violence escalated after the king of blank declared a state of emergency there.

DICKINSON: Bahrain?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the House voted to remove federal funding for blank?

DICKINSON: Oh, NPR.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: As more details in his sex scandal emerged, crowds booed Italian prime minister blank.

DICKINSON: Berlusconi.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A study in marine mammal science has proved sperm whales have blanks.

DICKINSON: Sperms.

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It turns out they have names.

DICKINSON: Oh they do, they name their babies.

SAGAL: Yeah, like Todd.

DICKINSON: Yeah. Scott.

SAGAL: Marsha.

DICKINSON: Troy.

SAGAL: Alice Cooper and Neil Diamond were among those inducted into the blank this week.

DICKINSON: The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Archeologists...

DICKINSON: Slash assisted living home.

SAGAL: Yes. Archeologists exploring the marshes in the southern coast of Spain claim to have found the lost city of blank.

DICKINSON: Atlantis.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An Idaho teen accidentally submerged his mother's car after he blanked.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

DICKINSON: Submerged his mother's - he drove it into the sewage treatment plant.

SAGAL: No, after he mistook an enormous lake for a puddle.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Richie Childers told police he thought the water off the boat ramp was just a big puddle, so he didn't hesitate to drive into it. It wasn't until the car started sinking that he realized the puddle was actually Hayden Lake, a 4,000 acre lake with 40 miles of shoreline.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: When asked if he'd been drinking, he said, well, just a puddle.

DICKINSON: See, now, if he had knew his shapes, you know.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Amy do on our quiz?

KASELL: Amy has six correct answers for twelve more points. She now has fifteen points, and Amy has taken the lead.

SAGAL: All right then, very good, Amy.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: How many then does Paula need to win?

KASELL: Six to tie, seven to win outright.

SAGAL: All right, Paula, this is for the game.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Hillary Clinton said that if Obama is reelected she won't serve again as blank?

POUNDSTONE: Secretary of State.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the U.N. Security Council approved a resolution creating a no-fly zone over blank.

POUNDSTONE: Libya.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The New York Times announced on Thursday that it would soon begin charging for people to read blank.

POUNDSTONE: Their online thingie.

SAGAL: Yes, their website.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Officials at the Amherst County Courthouse in Virginia were surprised when a woman walked in and blanked.

POUNDSTONE: I don't remember.

SAGAL: Pulled a monkey out of her bra.

POUNDSTONE: I knew that.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A portion of ticket sales for his Torpedo of Truth live tour will go to help earthquake victims in Japan, according to actor blank.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, Charlie Sheen.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: NASA launched an investigation after it discovered blank at Florida's Kennedy Space Center.

POUNDSTONE: Aliens.

SAGAL: No, cocaine.

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

SAGAL: A blind man in England whose seeing eye dog went blind was able to get a blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

POUNDSTONE: A seeing eye cat.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. He was able to get a guide dog for the guide dog.

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

SAGAL: Graham Waspe was devastated when his trusty seeing eye dog Edward lost his sight. But not for long, he just got Opal, a guide dog for the guide dog. Opal is already going the extra mile for Graham and Edward. Helping Graham get around the neighborhood and helping Edward find butts to sniff.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Paula do well enough to win?

KASELL: She needed six to tie, but Paula had just four correct answers. So with fifteen points, Amy Dickinson is this week's champion.

POUNDSTONE: There it is.

DICKINSON: Whoa.

JOBRANI: You did it.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

DICKINSON: Wow.

JOBRANI: You did it.

SAGAL: Well done, Amy. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict how we will amuse ourselves if there is no football season.

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