Limericks Carl reads three news-related limericks: The Vice-Landlord, Why That Big White Bear Is A Little Green, and When TSA Meets BO.
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Limericks

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Limericks

Limericks

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WAIT WAIT: a fun way to get quarterback Donovan McNabb to promote your band.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

ASHLEY BARNETTE: Hi.

: Who's this?

BARNETTE: This is Ashley from Lake Mary, Florida.

: Hey Ashley, how are you?

BARNETTE: I'm fabulous. Thanks for asking.

: Well what do you do there in Lake Mary, Florida?

BARNETTE: Now I am a high school teacher.

: You are?

BARNETTE: I am.

: And what subject do you teach?

BARNETTE: I teach American History.

: Can I hear you say something tragic? Like tell me, for example, about the Battle of Shiloh.

BARNETTE: Why? Are you making fun of my voice? Is that what we're getting at?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

AMY DICKINSON: Ashley, you sound so cheerful.

BARNETTE: Well, thanks.

DICKINSON: Yeah.

: Ashley, welcome to the show.

BARNETTE: All right.

: Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Ready to play?

BARNETTE: I am so ready.

: Here you go. Here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, Host:

Secret Service could sleep in a tent, but Biden's a Delaware gent. His yard has a hut. They'll sleep in there. But, the VP is charging some?

BARNETTE: Rent.

: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

: A beautiful cottage, close to public transportation, not far from D.C. it sounds perfect. What's the catch? Oh dear god, my landlord is Joe Biden. According to the New York Times, the vice president rents a cottage on his Delaware property to his Secret Service detail. It's an odd arrangement, but it's handy, because the Secret Service guys can also keep the vice president in sight, and pretend not to be home when he wanders over to talk about his first apartment in Scranton.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

: All right, here is your next limerick.

KASELL: Polar bears sit back and fry fish. And, like leprechauns, they will grant my wish. They like to pick fights and make music all night. That's 'cause the bears' background is?

BARNETTE: Oh man. Swedish. I don't know.

: Well, you're close.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

CHARLIE PIERCE: It's a nationality.

BARNETTE: Yeah, yeah, I got that much. Thanks.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

DICKINSON: Ashley, I'm not getting that.

MO ROCCA: I don't have it either.

DICKINSON: It's a nationality that rhymes with my fish?

: The word leprechaun came into, I see.

BARNETTE: Oh, Irish.

: Irish, yes, Irish.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

DICKINSON: All right.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

: Recent DNA samples show polar bears are descended from a single mother brown bear that lived in Ireland some 20 to 50,000 years ago. Scientists say this extraordinary discovery helps explain so much about the great white bears of the north. For example, their love of Guinness, and they hesitate, just for a moment, before mauling a leprechaun.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

: All right, here's your last limerick. Let's hear this one.

KASELL: As I get in line for my jet, I'm identified as a big threat. The stain in my pits has the monitors lit. The scanner has noticed my?

: Let's hear the whole thing again.

KASELL: As I get in line for my jet, I'm identified as a big threat. The stain in my pits has the monitors lit. The scanner has noticed my?

BARNETTE: Sweat.

: Yes, indeed, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

: Yes. Australia is trying out some new full-body scanners in their airports, and apparently sweaty armpits trigger their alarm. They're calling it a malfunction, but couldn't a particularly stinky passenger take over a plane? "This is a hijacking. Everybody put your hands over your head or I will put my hands above my head."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

: Carl, how did Ashley do on our quiz?

KASELL: Ashley did all right, Peter. She had three correct answers. So Ashley, you win our prize.

: Well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

: Congratulations, Ashley. Thank you so much for playing.

BARNETTE: Thanks, y'all. Take care.

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