Bluff The Listener Our panelists tell us three stories of a new tech accessory, only one of which is real.
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Bluff The Listener

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Bluff The Listener

Bluff The Listener

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CARL KASELL, Host:

From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Tom Bodett, Paula Poundstone and Adam Felber. And here again is your host, at the Davis Concert Hall at the University of Alaska Fairbanks, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Thank you, Carl.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Right now, it's time for the WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-Wait-Wait to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME.

GRETCHEN COOK: Hi, this is Gretchen Cook from Spokane, Washington.

SAGAL: Hey Gretchen, how are things in Spokane?

COOK: Doing pretty good.

SAGAL: I'm glad to hear it. What do you do there?

COOK: Well, currently I'm learning how to be a new mom. But when I return from maternity leave, I'm a program manager.

SAGAL: How's the new mom thing going?

COOK: It's going alright, as a three-week-old.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Oh wow.

SAGAL: A three-week-old.

POUNDSTONE: That is nice.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Wow. Has your child already started to resent you yet?

COOK: Not yet.

SAGAL: All right, that'll come. That's more like six months.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. Well, welcome to the show Gretchen. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Carl, what is Gretchen's topic?

KASELL: Here, try these new heated earbuds.

SAGAL: It's not enough to just own fancy gadgets these days. You need all the stuff that goes with them too: the docking stations and ear phones and little miniature beds to tuck them in at night so they'll be comfy. Our panelists are going to read you three stories about fancy new tech accessories. Guess the real story, you'll win Carl's voice on your home answering machine or voicemail. Ready to go?

COOK: Yeah.

SAGAL: First, let's hear from Adam Felber.

ADAM FELBER: What happens when your entertaining at home, receive a cell phone call and don't impress everyone by rushing to answer it inside your own genuine refurbished Bluetooth-enabled vintage London red phone box? Well, then you won't look nearly as cool as the guy who does answer his cell phones calls in a genuine refurbished Bluetooth-enabled vintage London red phone box.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Yes, thanks to the innovators at Brit Tech Limited, for a mere $9,000, this high tech immobile phone kiosk will ring whenever a paired cell phone is in range, which will magically allow you to go through the cumbersome process of opening the booth's doors, walking into the booth, shutting the door, picking up the heavy receiver and amazingly enough, talk to someone miles away. All with the added new era benefits of poor reception and dropped calls.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Shipping of the 1,600-pound cast iron phone kiosk is included in the price tag, and is a sure way to simultaneously display your anglophilia, technophelia and complete wankerhood.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Using an immobile phone booth in your home to make mobile phone calls. Your next story of an accessory for your accessory comes from Paula Poundstone.

POUNDSTONE: If you've got a fancy piece of technology, you've got to have something fancy to wrap it in. Let's see, Gucci, Vera Wang? No. I got it, how about Bernie Madoff's used pants?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Tech entrepreneur John Vaccaro bought the former duds of Bernie Madoff and turned them into ostentatious tech jammies. When at an auction of Bernie Madoff's belongings, Vaccaro saw the wild desire behind the plaintive bids of the Wall Street bankers on the swindler's velvet slippers, he sensed a market for all things Madoff. He managed to snag a stack of pants and cashmere sweaters formerly worn by the former con artist. Each pair of Madoff's 35 to 36-inch waist pants yields 4 iPad cases, with the promise of unlimited more.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Some even still bear Bernie's nametag mandatorily sewn into his clothes each summer before Ponzi camp.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: iPad covers made from the very trousers and other clothing of Bernie Madoff. And your last story of gadget augmentation comes from Tom Bodett.

TOM BODETT: Responding to the alarming rise of injuries caused by engrossed smart phone and tablet users walking into traffic and over cliffs, leading PDA makers Apple and Nokia have joined forces to produce "Watch Out," a Bluetooth proximity and audio sensor that employs a simple onscreen text message to keep users apprised of their surroundings.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BODETT: "Bus approaching right flank" might allow you to survive your fantasy football draft. "Brick wall ahead" could save you thousands on corrective face surgery while you monitor your disintegrating 401k.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BODETT: The application can help with basic social cues as well. "The line has moved" will alert you to step forward at the Starbucks or DMV.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

BODETT: "Your wife appears to be speaking to you" and...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BODETT: "A child sounds injured" may keep your home life peaceful, even while you ignore it.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Watch out for "Watch Out," approaching from your blind side.

SAGAL: All right.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All of these, we all admit would be something that the tech lover in your life might want, but only one of them exists. Is it, from Adam Felber, a genuine British red telephone box, engineered so that you can use it to make calls on your cell phone from the comfort of your home? From Paula Poundstone, iPad covers made from the very trousers and other clothing of Mr. Bernie Madoff? Or from Tom Bodett, an app for your smart phone that will tell you what's going on around you while you're looking at your smart phone?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Which of these is the real story of the tech accessory?

COOK: I know a few people who could probably use an app that would help them know what's going on around them, so I'm going to go with Tom's story.

SAGAL: You're going to go with Tom's story about the app that warns you that you're about to walk into a wall and such?

COOK: Yes.

SAGAL: All right, well that's your choice then. Well, we actually spoke - we're so pleased - to the person who's bringing this great thing to the tech users of the world.

JOHN VACCARO: I went on the auction site for the Bernie Madoff auction, and all of the sudden I saw twenty cashmere sweaters. And immediately I was like, light bulb, I'm making iPad covers out of them.

SAGAL: Yeah, that was John Vaccaro, the man behind the Bernie Madoff ipad covers, made from Madoff's cashmere sweaters and his pants. So I'm sorry, but obviously Paula Poundstone had the real answer, as strange as it may seem. However, I think that money is going to be flooding in to invest in Tom's product.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Especially from disaffected spouses. Am I guessing correctly? Thank you so much for playing.

COOK: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

BODETT: Thank you, Gretchen.

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