Listener Contestant Moments Sometimes, you're funnier than we are. Okay, you're almost always funnier than we are. We listen to some of your favorite caller moments.
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Listener Contestant Moments

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Listener Contestant Moments

Listener Contestant Moments

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CARL KASELL, Host:

From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell, and here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Thank you, Carl.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you all. This week, we are turning the control room over to you, the listeners, and we're asking you not to leave cookie crumbs and empty bottles of chardonnay all over the place, like last time.

KASELL: When we asked you for your favorite moments from our show, many of you responded with memories of when you, the listeners, were funnier or more surprising than any of us. Whether you meant to be or not.

SAGAL: And for some reason, this seems to happen a lot during our Limericks segment. Here's an example from November 2010.

KASELL: Can you hear me now, still is a clever jest. With reception my mountain endeavor's blessed. There might be a fall but not a dropped call as Sherpas use cell phones on?

Unidentified Man #1: Sweater vests.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: I love that.

Man #1: Thank you.

SAGAL: I want to give it to you because that's such a great answer.

CHARLIE PIERCE: That is fabulous.

SAGAL: That's a better rhyme than our limericist came up with. That's really good.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, there are some clues there. The word Sherpa is a clue. Where might you find...

Man #1: Oh good lord, it's Everest.

SAGAL: It is Everest.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

KASELL: Well, it did rhyme. Here's someone who went the other way, from a show we did in Colorado Springs in May of 2010.

These candles make pupils grow wider. Their scent is a hunger provider. It's meaty and greasy and goes down real easy. The smell of a White Castle?

Unidentified Woman: Hamburger.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

Woman: Oh, slider. Slider.

SAGAL: Yes, slider.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: I like the hamburger. The hamburger is kind of more of the free verse answer. That's great.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's very beet poetry. I love it.

BODETT: It was a surprising rhyme. I like those.

SAGAL: Here's one in which somebody anticipated having some difficultly with the limericks, and brought a secret weapon.

KASELL: It gets better, I'm told, just be brave man. Give that body hair one swooping shave, man. Come on Grok, you big lout, it's okay to be out. I am gay in the time of the?

ANNABEL: Caveman?

SAGAL: Yes, caveman.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Annabel, I'm going to ask you a question.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And it's totally fine whatever your answer is.

ANNABEL: Yes?

SAGAL: Is there somebody there with you?

ANNABEL: I have a friend here.

SAGAL: Okay.

ANNABEL: I'm smart on my own and clever on my own.

SAGAL: It's fine. It's totally fine. Can I say hello to her? Is it okay?

ANNABEL: Sure, hold on.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

LELI: Hi.

SAGAL: Hi, who's this?

LELI: Leli(ph).

SAGAL: Hi, Leli, how are you?

LELI: I'm good, how are you?

SAGAL: I'm fine. So were you the one who figured that one out?

LELI: The caveman?

SAGAL: Yeah.

LELI: Yeah.

SAGAL: Okay, well I'm glad you're here. Could you put Annabel back on?

LELI: Yes, here she is.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hello, Annabel?

ANNABEL: Yes.

SAGAL: You are right, it's caveman.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

KASELL: We like forward, innovative thinking, but not this innovative. This, from a show we did just this last July, in the San Francisco War Memorial Opera House.

I cannot say no, thank you to pork. And my pasta, I twirl with much torque. But my eating tool size has a pleasant surprise. I eat less when I have a big?

Unidentified Male #2: Spork?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Did you just say spork?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

PIERCE: I did.

SAGAL: I admire your ingenuity, but you're over complicating this.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Want another guess?

Male #2: Let's see.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Were you raised in a prison? I'm not sure...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Or perhaps a Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise. I believe they have sporks. It's just an interesting first choice. Let's hear the limerick again and I'm sure you will get it.

Male #2: Yeah.

SAGAL: Here we go.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

KASELL: I cannot say no, thank you to pork. And my pasta, I twirl with much torque. But my eating tool size has a pleasant surprise. I eat less when I have a big?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

PIERCE: I don't know.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's a lot like a spork but less versatile.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

KASELL: A fork.

SAGAL: A fork, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF CHEERING)

SAGAL: Finally, a moment of real concern, from a show we did in May of 2011.

KASELL: This breakup sure hurt. I'll explain. It's how we are wired in the brain. Feelings are centered where cuts and burns enter. Rejection gives physical?

NICHOLAS: Pain.

SAGAL: Yes, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: I heard a certain degree of ruefulness in your answer, yes. Pain, according to a study in the latest issue of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, rejection, whether romantic or otherwise, causes actual physical pain as well as emotional. In fact, a series of experiments found that a bad breakup is equal in physical pain to spilling hot coffee on yourself.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: That doesn't make any sense.

SAGAL: When's the last time you...

POUNDSTONE: Has anybody ever broken up with you?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Was it like having hot coffee spilled on you, physically?

SAGAL: It was painful.

POUNDSTONE: Then no, this is another one of these Peter's...

(SOUNDBITE OF BANG)

POUNDSTONE: Did he just shoot himself?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hang on. I hope not. I would find that very painful.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Let me check. Nicholas? Are you there?

NICHOLAS: I was just putting down my cocktail.

SAGAL: All right, there you go.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Nicholas...

SAGAL: Imagine, Paula, though that Nicholas...

POUNDSTONE: Oh, that scared me so much.

SAGAL: Had rather than speak to you another minute had shot himself just now.

POUNDSTONE: Well, I know.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Wouldn't you find that painful?

POUNDSTONE: You know, it would have created a pain almost like hot coffee on my...

SAGAL: You see? And you were skeptical.

POUNDSTONE: That was terrifying. I was absolutely terrified. Because in my head I'm thinking, okay, I think a guy just shot himself while we were talking to him. And I thought, should we go on?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's what he would have wanted.

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