ROBERT SIEGEL, host:
Now, time for our feature Vocal Impressions. It's our ongoing experiment in which you get a chance to find unusual ways to describe some very well-known voices. The feature is the brain child of writer Brian McConnachie. So we'll let him take over from here.
Mr. BRIAN McCONNACHIE (Writer): If you recall, our last group of unique voices included terrific kid - Vince Vaughn, Mike Tyson and Joni Mitchell.
Generally speaking, Eartha Kitt called to mind a lot of feline sensuality.
(Soundbite of song, "I want to be Evil")
Ms. Eartha Kitt (Singer): (Singing) My smile is brilliant. My glance is tender.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: Vince Vaughn was the guy everyone knew in college.
(Soundbite of movie, "Wedding Crashers")
Mr. Vince Vaughn (Actor): (As Jeremy Grey) Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem really eager to jump into a forced, awkward, intimate situation that people like to call dating.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: Mike Tyson conjured up a menagerie of small dangerous animals.
Mr. MIKE TYSON (Boxer): (Unintelligible) but I know I'm great.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: And Joni Mitchell as an avalanche of innocence.
(Soundbite of song, "Help Me, I think I'm Falling")
Ms. JONI MITCHELL (Singer): Help me, I think I'm falling, in love too fast.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: So, we'll begin with Eartha Kitt.
(Soundbite of song, "I want to be Evil")
Ms. KITT: (Singing) I want to be evil. I want to be mad, but more that that I want to be bad.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: Emily Amen(ph) describes her voice as a whiskey lollipop. Bill Kos(ph) says Eartha Kitt's voice was the magazine I kept under my bed when I was 15.
(Soundbite of song, "I want to be Evil")
Ms. KITT: (Singing) I want to be nasty. I want to cruel. I want to be daring. I want to shoot pool.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: Lucy Buckner(ph) offers it's a sound of sexy Velcro. Greg Foster(ph) states, it's the voice Adam heard when he was offered the fruit. And Clare Kapitan(ph) paints a pretty distinctive picture by saying Eartha Kitt sounds like a panther wearing a leopard coat in the backseat of a Jaguar.
(Soundbite of song, "I want to be Evil")
Ms. KITT: (Singing) I want to be evil.
(Soundbite of movie, "Wedding Crashers")
Mr. VAUGHN: (As Jeremy Grey) Snap out of it, (unintelligible) make you feel her pants.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: Next with Vince Vaughn.
(Soundbite of movie, "Wedding Crashers")
Mr. VAUGHN: (As Jeremy Grey) Motorboat? You play the motorboat?
Mr. McCONNACHIE: Dave Airozo(ph) says, he sounds like a telemarketer you can't bring yourself to hang up on. Tim Sylvester(ph) states, he sounds like your big brother telling you it's okay with dad if you drink the bourbon in the liquor cabinet. Elizabeth McDonald(ph) suggests Vince Vaughn sounds like that last-minute, irreverent, but brilliant idea for the homecoming float.
(Soundbite of movie, "Wedding Crashers")
Mr. VAUGHN: (As Jeremy Grey) You're sitting there, you're wondering, do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested, I'm not really interested but should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested, but I think she might be interested but do I wanna be interested but now she's not interested.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: Corrie Kiel(ph) describes Vince Vaughn's voice as a rubber ball bouncing around the throat of an impatient man. And Brad Leach says, he's bacon-cheddar dip explaining why he's more popular on corn chips than French onion.
Next we have former heavy weight champ Mike Tayson.
(Soundbite of archived news)
Mr. TYSON: I sacrifice so much of my life. You know what I mean? I've been robbed of my most of my money…
Mr. McCONNACHIE: Kenneth Forst(ph) describes him as the only shabby tow truck available at 3 a.m. on New Year's Eve. Tom Sylvester(ph) says, he's a rabid chipmunk. Nell Hartman(ph) offers, Mike Tyson looks like a pit bull, sounds like a poodle.
Mr. TYSON: So you could feel my pain because that's the pain I have waking up every day.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: Rita McFarland(ph) says it would be Mike Tyson's if those dancing ballerina hippos from Fantasia had a voice. And Bob Mariani(ph) offers it's a cranky kid on his first day with braces.
(Soundbite of song, "Both Sides Now")
Ms. MITCHELL: (Singing) Rows and floes of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: And lastly the young Joni Mitchell.
(Soundbite of song, "Both Sides Now")
Ms. MITCHELL: (Singing) Moons and junes and ferris wheels. The dizzy dancing way you feel.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: Frazier Dworet(ph) describes Joni Mitchell as lemon meringue pie. Benjamin Porter(ph) says she sounds like I'm being lied to by an 8-year-old. Sue Tomlin(ph) offers she sounds like a precariously placed crystal goblet. Kelli Galpin(ph) says she is skilled, delicate hands playing the water glasses.
(Soundbite of song, "Both Sides Now")
Ms. MITCHELL: (Singing) I've looked at love from both sides now. From give and take, and still somehow. Its loves illusions I recall. I really don't know love…
Mr. McCONNACHIE: And Steve McCormack(ph) adds she is the gleeful girl you kissed when you were 10 who ran home and brought you the frosting spoon from her mother's cake.
Steve, I want you to go right now to the phone and call this woman wherever she is.
(Soundbite of song, "Both Sides Now")
Ms. MITCHELL: (Singing) …at all.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: And so on to our next batch of distinctive voices. And we thought we try something a little different this time. As you doubtlessly heard the physician, leader of the free world is opening up again this fall. And we'd like to get your impressions of the hopeful voices who really want to do this job. At this point, the field includes Mike Huckabee…
Mr. Mike Huckabee (Former Republican Governor, Arkansas; Presidential Candidate): My point was that if you really want an economic stimulus package, look at what infrastructure investment does. And we've got a crumbling infrastructure. And the reason that we have a problem is that because we're not addressing it.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: John McCain.
Senator JOHN McCAIN (Republican, Arizona; Presidential Candidate): I think that we've got to return to the principle that you don't lend money to people that can't pay it back. I think that there are some greedy people that - in Wall Street that perhaps need to be punished.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: Ron Paul.
Representative RON PAUL (Republican, Texas; Presidential Candidate): You know, we have a foreign policy where we blow up bridge overseas. And then we tax the people to glover and rebuild bridges overseas and our bridges are falling down - our infrastructure's falling down.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: Hillary Clinton.
Senator HILLARY CLINTON (Democrat, New York; Presidential Candidate): After consulting broadly with a lot of people who have something to contribute to difficult decision, I will have to make the call.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: And Barack Obama.
Senator BARACK OBAMA (Democrat, Illinois; Presidential Candidate): As they are struggling with the mortgages and struggling with their health care and trying to figure out how to get their kids on a school that will teach them and prepare them and equip them, they get a sense the government is on their side.
Mr. McCONNACHIE: And we'll be back in a few weeks with your vocal impressions of these presidential hopefuls. More of their voices than their politics, we hope. But we'll see.
Thanks, and good luck.
SIEGEL: That's Brian McConnachie. If you want to participate in our old presidential politics challenge, (unintelligible), go to our Web site, npr.org and search for Vocal Impressions.
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