I Saw The Signs Signs, signs, everywhere signs! House musician Jonathan Coulton sings "The Sign" by evil Swedish pop wizards Ace of Base, with rewritten lyrics that hint to actual signs, signals and omens.

I Saw The Signs

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OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Please welcome our next contestants, Jaime Probst and Rich Steeves.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Jaime, you hold a special place in my heart because you were on our very first episode...

JAIME PROBST: Yeah, that's true. Thank you.

EISENBERG: ...Where I was still finding my feet. What are you trying to redeem on this show?

PROBST: I'm not redeeming - I did fine. You guys, like, I think you counted wrong. I think the other guy cheated. It was your first show, you didn't know what you were doing.

EISENBERG: Yeah, we had no idea. Rich was on a game where you played with our VIP Justin Long.

RICH STEEVES: My close personal friend, Justin Long.

EISENBERG: Justin Long was quizzing you, right? And you brought a first date to that show.

STEEVES: I did.

EISENBERG: That is a - that's a pretty ballsy move, bringing a first date to - when you're going to be a contestant. So how'd that go?

STEEVES: Well, she made me nervous.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

STEEVES: So I lost in the final round.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

STEEVES: And we dated for 10 months, and then she broke up with me last week.

EISENBERG: That was supposed to be a fun question.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Sorry.

STEEVES: I mean, things are great and we're getting married?

EISENBERG: No, no.

STEEVES: No?

PROBST: I got married.

(LAUGHTER)

STEEVES: Thanks, Jaime. That's great.

EISENBERG: It's going to be great. This game is called "I Saw The Signs." Isn't that exciting already?

STEEVES: Ace Of Base.

EISENBERG: Ace Of Base. I was recently at the Vancouver airport and I saw a sign that just said please keep moving forward. And I was like you're right. That is all you have to do in life, right, Jonathan?

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: Yeah, no that's all you have to do. When I was in the airport, I saw a sign that said no guns, no knives, no jokes, which hasn't worked out as well as a motto for me. Yes, as Rich said, this is based on the Ace Of Base song. It's Ace Of Base based. The ultra catchy '90s song "The Sign" by those evil Swedish pop wizards. The original song is about shattered illusions of love.

STEEVES: Great.

(LAUGHTER)

PROBST: Yeah, I might not be good at that one.

STEEVES: It's right in my wheelhouse.

COULTON: However, I have changed the lyrics. We thought it'd be better if the song were about actual signs. So now the new lyrics describe various iconic signs, signals and omens. And you just have to identify the iconic sign, signal or omen I am singing about.

STEEVES: Great.

PROBST: Stop sign.

COULTON: Should be easy. Just identify this sign - (singing) I've got a new wife, saw her across the table shooting craps. Now I'm a husband in an Elvis suit. This is a weird town, but it's pretty fabulous, says it on the sign.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Rich.

STEEVES: Welcome to Las Vegas?

COULTON: That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: (Singing) What does this signal mean? Back to the dorm room, so many nights I wondered what goes on. But you've got the doorknob covered with a sock. You're probably not reading, why would you make that noise? But enough's enough.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Rich.

STEEVES: I believe you're making whoopee.

PROBST: Minus one, come on. Making whoopee.

COULTON: Making whoopee. That's...

STEEVES: Is that acceptable?

COULTON: That is what we're looking for, yes.

(APPLAUSE)

PROBST: Don't cheer for him.

COULTON: Yes, it's not really a term for exactly what this is, but when you want some privacy for - for your private times...

EISENBERG: Yeah.

COULTON: ...For your grown up times, you put a sock on the doorknob. This next one is an actual sign. (Singing) I saw the sign. And I see it all the time, I saw the sign. Stuck in traffic, bumper to bumper. I saw the sign right from Mulholland drive, I saw the sign. But it's never going to fill me up because in Beverly Hills I don't belong.

Actual sign.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Rich.

STEEVES: Welcome to Beverly Hills?

COULTON: There probably is some kind of sign that says that, but that's not what we're looking for. Jaime, any idea?

PROBST: Welcome to New York?

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Those are both great guesses. Everybody know what it is?

AUDIENCE: The Hollywood sign.

COULTON: The Hollywood sign.

STEEVES: Oh the Hollywood sign.

(LAUGHTER)

PROBST: I was close.

EISENBERG: You were very close.

COULTON: Right around the corner.

EISENBERG: You were very, very close.

COULTON: Just for that, I'm not going to tell you what sign this is. It's a sign. What sign am I talking about? (Singing) You're domineering, I guess I've always wondered what's your sign. You're like a creature with a stinging tail. Born in November, Pluto is in your house, if you believe this junk.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Rich.

STEEVES: Scorpio.

COULTON: Scorpio.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: One last omen for you. This is an omen - an actual omen. (Singing) I saw the sign and it flew past in the skies, I saw the sign. In my whole life, my only chance to see it. I saw the sign, in 1986 I saw the sign. And by the time it comes again, I probably will be dead and gone.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Rich.

STEEVES: Halley's comet.

COULTON: Halley's comet is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

GREG PLISKA: Rich, congratulations you are our winner. And you will move on to our Ask Me One More final round, coming up at the end of the show.

STEEVES: Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

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