Heroic Tunes It's a bird! It's a plane! It's house musician Jonathan Coulton, performing Five For Fighting's soft-rock classic "Superman (It's Not Easy)" with rewritten lyrics about famous comic book heroes!

Heroic Tunes

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OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Now for a game called Heroic Tunes, let's welcome Brendan Gillet and Andrea Tsurumi. So we're at Comic Con Super Week, so, obviously, we need to talk about superheroes. Jonathan, if you had superpowers, would you use them for good or evil?

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: I think I would probably use them for good. When I play "Grand Theft Auto," I feel bad committing crimes.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: That's the whole point of that game, and I feel bad doing it. So I think, probably, I would use them for good, in spite of every intention to be bad. I'm too nice.

EISENBERG: Yeah, you're a softy. Andrea?

ANDREA TSURUMI: Evil.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: What kind of evil?

TSURUMI: It would be for two reasons - especially because my superpower would be, being obvious and incompetent. And the reason would be - I think evil is a good way of uniting people to rise up for good.

EISENBERG: Oh. So you would basically sacrifice yourself.

TSURUMI: I would just be a real evil idiot.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Well, I know a lot of places you'd fit in. Brendan.

BRENDAN GILLETT: I would use mine for good. My answer is not nearly as complex.

EISENBERG: I know. That was very thought out.

GILLETT: I know. That's like very "Watchmen." Like Ozymandias, you know, uniting people through killing them.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) That's good.

GILLETT: I'm not quite there. My superpower would be that my torso could be on fire while my hands were ice.

(LAUGHTER)

GILLETT: Which is about three degrees away from my current body temperature distribution at all times. And, I guess, it would be good, but I'd probably just end going into sports medicine.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: So, contestant, what we are doing here is a music game. We have rewritten the lyrics to that classic song "Superman (It's Not Easy)" by Five for Fighting.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: So that now the song is about other famous comic book heroes. So just ring in and tell us which heroes I am singing about. (Singing) Nick Cage played me twice. I can't give much higher. I love motorbikes and my heads on fire.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Brendan.

GILLETT: Ghostrider.

COULTON: Ghostrider is the right answer.

(APPLAUSE)

GILLETT: Good superhero bad movies.

EISENBERG: Bad movie - but, yeah, that's your kind of guy right?

GILLETT: No. Because he's got the head - I'm the torso.

EISENBERG: OK, got it. Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: I bet you guys get confused with each other all the time, though, right?

GILLETT: His head's also a skull.

COULTON: Yeah, right.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

COULTON: You just have a regular torso that's on fire.

EISENBERG: Right.

GILLETT: You get me.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: (Singing) I scare some people off, with hooves and bright red skin. Even with filed-down horns, life is hard for this demon.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Andrea.

TSURUMI: It's Hellboy.

COULTON: It is Hellboy.

TSURUMI: He's the best.

EISENBERG: He's the best?

TSURUMI: He's the best.

EISENBERG: Best catchphrase of all the time, I think.

TSURUMI: He's the best?

EISENBERG: Well, that's a good one too.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: No, I just think that he goes, aw crap.

TSURUMI: Yes. Exactly.

EISENBERG: And that's like - I totally relate to that one.

COULTON: I like the idea that Andrea's catchphrase is - he's the best.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: He's the best.

COULTON: Just going around saying that all the time to everybody.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Right. Just a positive - that's your -

COULTON: That guy? He's the best. And everybody's like, yay Andrea.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: (Singing) I'm only a man in a silly blue cape - got no powers, but I'm in real good shape. I may be disturbed. I watched my folks die. Even playboys have a morbid side, and it's not easy to be me.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Brendan.

GILLETT: Batman.

COULTON: Batman is correct.

GILLETT: Also, Bruce Wayne, because you touched on the parents and the money. So, both egos.

COULTON: Both egos. Yeah. We're not - yeah. I guess we should've specified which ego we were looking for. But you got it. You got it right anyway. (Singing) Look up in the sky. That lightning is from me. I've got hair of white and I look like Halle Berry.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Andrea.

TSURUMI: That's Storm.

COULTON: Storm is right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: (Singing) I'm smart and I'm blue. But don't be alarmed. Your atoms will remain unharmed. I see throughout time, and teleport too. Even up on Mars, I still watch you. It's pretty easy to be me.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Brendan.

GILLETT: Dr. Manhattan.

COULTON: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Art Chung, how did our contestants do?

ART CHUNG, BYLINE: It's pretty clear Brendan was on fire because he is moving on to the final round.

(APPLAUSE)

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