No Time For Laughs Dr. Jones, These Jokes Are Fast British comedian Clive Greenaway has broken the world record for telling the most jokes in one minute. That's 26 jokes, or about a joke every two seconds.

No Time For Laughs Dr. Jones, These Jokes Are Fast

  • Download
  • <iframe src="" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript


Hey, Melissa.



CORNISH: What did the ocean say to the beach?

BLOCK: I give up. What?

CORNISH: Nothing. It just waived.

BLOCK: OK, Audie.


BLOCK: How do you make an egg laugh?

CORNISH: I don't know.

BLOCK: Tell it a yolk.

CORNISH: Ah, we're going to keep our day jobs. (Laughter) But an actual comedian, a Brit named Clive Greenaway, told some similar yolks, a lot of them very quickly, and now has a Guinness World Record.


CLIVE GREENAWAY: Went to a corner shop for all four corners. Went to a paper shop. It had blown away. Went to a seafood dance, pulled a mussel.

CORNISH: OK, he's really hard to understand there, so let's repeat. Went to a seafood dance, pulled a mussel.

BLOCK: OK. Greenaway told a joke every two seconds for a total of 26 jokes in a minute.

CORNISH: He broke the previous world record of 21.

BLOCK: His jokes didn't have to be original, clearly, but each one had to have a setup and punch line.

CORNISH: And each had to earn a genuine laugh from the audience.

BLOCK: Now, this was not the comedian's first attempt at a world record.

GREENAWAY: I like taking driving tests.

CORNISH: No joke. Twenty years ago Greenaway tried to create a new world record for driver's licenses. He passed 25 tests for a variety of vehicles.

BLOCK: Motorcycles, buses, tanks.


BLOCK: You're welcome.

GREENAWAY: But Guinness wouldn't confirm that one because our own license authority said it would be against the Data Protection Act to reveal it.

BLOCK: Now that Greenaway has a record for telling the most jokes in one minute, he's gearing up for a new challenge.

CORNISH: Telling the most jokes in 10 seconds. Clive Greenaway, start your engines.

GREENAWAY: Exit signs - they're on the way out. Two elephants fall off a cliff - bum bum. I'm on a whiskey diet, I lost three days last week. A man walks...

Copyright © 2015 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.